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Optimus pats a Quintesson on the side of its head

The Ultimate Caption Contest

Optimus pats a Quintesson on the side of its head
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203 captions have been posted for this image so far ...
Nemesis Primal writes: Quint: "AUGH! Ypu just poked one of my other faces right in the eye!"
Delta Magnus writes: Optimus: Come on, Spit her out!
Atari: (muffled) IT STINKS IN HERE!
Angelbot writes: It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your Quintesson is?
Angelbot writes: Have you hugged a Quintesson today?
ACStarscream writes: "That'll do pig; that'll do."
Angelbot writes: Optimus Prime: Elita's right. When you pat the face of a Quintesson you can hear the ocean roaring inside.
trailbreaker writes: Prime - "There, that KICK ME sign should do the trick!!!!"
Zu Darkness writes: Optimus prime: I hear that I owe you my life for putting me back toghter

Quintesson: Well not really We accidently put a baked potato where your spark was suppose to be so you have about 5 seconds to live. But thanks for the compliment though.
Autobot bubbs writes: Prime: c'mon over here and kiss me you fool!

Quint: UHH... No, that allright, I'd preferr to keep our relationship..uhh.. professional, yeah thats it!
Nemesis Primal writes: And the Quinty goes to.... OPTIMUS PRIME!

Optimus: "You like me! You really like me!"
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Judynator writes: Op: Who are you? G1 Quintesson or Energon Alpha-Q?
Q: G1 Quintesson? What for?
Op: Since Alpha-Q wiser as you.
Q: F*ck you!
starscream_the_eternal writes: Optimus: "OH, don't worry alot of people are confused about their sexuality."
Quint: "Thanks, Optimus, that helps."
( Later on at the bar with Flywheels)
Optimus: "You know I don't mind talking to ,and helping Quint.
seminole1 writes: Prime: You better have fixed me up right this time, because if you didn't I'll come back here and crush this upside down egg you call a head into a million pieces. You evil little prick.
Roadshadow writes: Optimus: Hey thanks for bringing me back to life-OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A ZIT ON YOU! Lemme touch!
Quintesson: No! It's poisonous!
blaine71274 writes: Hey! What's that? There's something behind your ear. Wow! A quarter!
blaine71274 writes: I've never had these feelings before either, but now's not the time to share them.
blaine71274 writes: Smell my forearm....does that smell funny to you?
Unknown writes: look, i'm flatterd..... but the tenticles freak me out !
Fireblader writes: Kupp: "Prime, you found that basketball yet?"
Prime: "Hmmm basketball, basketball. No basketball. This'll have to do."
Quint: "Wait! I'm a Quintesson, not a basketball !"
Prime: "Kupp, the ball's ta
The_Fortress_Maximus writes: Optimus: You dance divinly
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Kamakaze Thrower writes: Calm down, boy. He'll be back.
JPrime writes: Optimus Prime: Excuse me sir. I was wondering if you had seen 3 other gentlemen I was just speaking to.
SilentBlaster writes: Optimus:Oh sorry I thought I was being Ambushed.
Quintesson:You were you idiot.
Optimus:OH crap.
Operation Ravage writes: Optimus: I'm sorry, I value you as a friend and I care for you deeply . . . but I just don't put out on the first date.
crypto199 writes: good boy. Good Quintesson. You want the ball? You want the ball? get the ball.
Dclone Soundwave writes: Prime: So the rumors are true. Rubbing a Quintesson's head does give you more than meets the eye down under
Rhinobot writes: You know, I like this head the best of all.
Minicle writes: Have you hugged your Quintesson today?
Minicle writes: Quint: I have lost the war! *Cries*

Prime: There, there. I'll help you find it.
juggaloG writes: IN 1987:
Q (Crying): Where do I go now that Transformers is cancelled?
P: There, there Pete. I'm sure you'll find plenty of work out there.
Q: Plenty of work for a five-faced half-robot? I don't think so.
P: Maybe I can hire you.
Q:
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luevanoalx writes: QUINTESSON: FINALLY PRIME,WE DID IT!!!I AM SO HAPPY!......
PRIME: SO DOES THIS MEAN WE ARE ON FOR TONIGHT????
QUIENTISSON: .....??...!!!! NO WAY LOSER I'M TAKEN...ARCEE!!!!!!
Dragonoth writes: Quintesson: "Millions of years ago, your ancestors drove us off Cybertron. And you ask ˆwhyˆwe give the humans ideas that robots they make could turn against them? WE'RE TRYING TO HELP THEM!"
Dragonoth writes: Optimus: "I want to thank you for creating the Transformers, but now it's time for you to go. It's just the way of the universe: defunct species make way for new ones."
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Quint: Yeah, I gave up the whole Evil gig ages ago. I now run a Primal/Group Therapy class.

Prime: Really?

Quint: Yup, Malevolent Beings Anonymous. Megatron is our latest member. So much Akatharsis, Denial and Sublimation...
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Junkion Host: In 2006 a hate Plague visited the Universe, and only you could defeat it Prime... But. You were Dead, and in need of heavy repair. Fortunately though, someone existed with the skills to bring you back from the Spark Fields...

Prime: Oh My
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Quint: Well... It's Sunday Night so I guess the amount of Seibertron.com kids that'll be visiting us will drop radically...

Prime: Not so my friend. I have here a list of the IP and ISP adresses...

Quint: You mean?

Prime: Yes. We'r
wraeth_x writes: Optimus Prime:I'm sorry this just isnt working out can't we just be friends?

Quintesson: Ohh man this always happens.
lockepsb writes: Prime: Quintesson, You brought me back to life? HAHA Now we have you here I can take yours! MUHAAHA

-Prime grabs his Energon Saber and hacks the Quintesson to bits-

Quintesson: ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHCCCCHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!
Ravenous Zero writes: Don't worry, it's like eating crawfish. Once you get past the head, it isn't too bad. Here, let me guide you down ...
Jackrabbit writes: Optimus: Oh... Mister Q! You dace so wonderfully!

Alpha Q: Shhh... Hush my dear. Let the music take you away. *puts a rose in Prime's mouth*
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Dr Buffalo writes: You know Quinty, I never noticed how well that shade of green looks on you...

Gah! we set the sexification parameters too high when we revived him.
Suzuki writes: OPTIMUS: Ha! And Elita said I'd never get ahead in this world!

("ahead" = "a head", Get it? Ha-ha! *dodges tomatos*)
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Anything?"
Quint,"Nope. Nothing."
Prime,"DAMN IT! Why does this work for Mr. Spock and not me?"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime had to bitch slap the Quint when he came up 40 bucks short from his lap dance qouta.
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Are you an egg or an eggplant?"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Hey baby what's your sign?"

Quint,"Stop."
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"I'VE DONE IT! BEHOLD THE GUMMY QUINTESSON!"
SITHSCREAM writes: Look, its not you its me............
snavej writes: Prime: Why, Ms Quintesson, in this light you look so hideous! I am fair petrified!

Quintesson: Charming as always, Mr. Prime.
DarkProwler writes: Prime: "Ow! Hey! Quit biting my arm!"
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dabattousai writes: Quincy: Welcome back Optimus Prime

Prime: Are the Decepticons gone yet?

Quincy: No...

Prime: Put me back.
snavej writes: Prime: I think we'll be safe for a few minutes. Snavej has to stop now and do some actual work for an hour or so.

Quintesson: How terrible for him.

Prime: It's not the end I would wish for, lad!
snavej writes: At the line dancing class, the legless Quintesson has trouble with the steps.

Prime: Don't worry, you can still enjoy the music. They have both types here - country AND western!

The Quintesson starts to think that it would be easier to try a d
snavej writes: Prime: Oh no, horns!

Quintesson: But yes! I'm horny, so very very horny!

Prime runs straight through several walls to escape.
snavej writes: Quintesson (thinks): My reconstructed robot seems to have a corrupted CPU. It is trying to fondle me in a disturbing manner. I'd better call security.

Prime: Hi, I'm Barbie! Will you be my friend? What game do you want to play today?

Q
snavej writes: Prime: Why won't it accept a crumpled, torn, dog-eared, stained, sticky, smelly, defaced, cocaine-dusted, counterfeit three dollar bill?
Frobman writes: Optimus Prime is a witness in a Cybertron Judical case.

Bailif: On this Quinteson, do swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Primus?
Optimus: Yes, I will.
SeekerInAFakeMoustache writes: "Nintendo's controllers keep getting weirder and weirder."
Arc the ZAKO writes: Prime: *Smack!*
Quint: Hey, what was that for?
PRime: Giant spider, on your back...heh, heh.
*Prime sticks bomb on Quint's back*
Quint: Tick...tick...? *Boom!*
snavej writes: Prime: I'm sorry, Mr. Q., you didn't get the job. It's just not suitable for a big metal egg, no matter how many tentacles he has.

Quintesson: I'm complaining to the High Command about this! I can do Ultra Magnus' job! He ha
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snavej writes: Prime: Of course the Sharkticons we're selling you are premium quality. Just set them loose and they'll deal with any, erm, hot rod who comes their way.

Quintesson: They'd better. I hate it when those ... *ahem* ... hot rods come screa
snavej writes: Prime: Well, you did harbour terrorists on your planet. It was not surprising that a greater power came in and changed your regime. Decent, democratic Dinobots know what's best for the people in the long run.

Quintesson: They are selling picture
snavej writes: Prime: What was Wheeljack on when he installed this energon dispenser?!

Wheeljack (by radio): That's no energon dispenser. It's an installation that makes everyone look more beautiful by comparison.

Prime: Hmm. I'm not entirely conv
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Quint: "So.. with part of the Live Action Script written in Rome, do you think you'll try Catholicism over Judaism for a while?"

Prime: "Shalom"
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Quint: "What's it like having a Micromaster Rodimus in your tummy?"

Prime: Kind of Yummy..."

Quint: "Like a Mummy?"
Hi-Eye-Q writes: Quint: "It's just so confusing..."

Prime: "I to, found Takara's Headmasters slightly discombobulating. Why do you think I went for the whole grey veneer 3 or 4 episodes in..."
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"I'm a licensed phrenologist."

Quint,"What the hell is that?"

Prime,"I feel and interpret lumps in your head."

[Men at Work ref.]
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: Prime: "Oh Man I Am So Wasted!"
Quint: "Dude, I Know, I Know!"
Prime; "No, But I Am SO Wasted...">laughs"..I Mean I Am SSSSSOOOOO Wasted!"
Quint: "DUDE: I KNOW!" (under breath) "jesus christ&quo
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: IS THERE NO ONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!


-Gladiator-
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: "......But If You Cheat Us........WE WILL TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: Prime Learnt The Hard Way Not To Involve Elita-1's Mother In Law With Divorce Proceedings
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: Damn Rubicks Cube
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: Prime: "How Do You Know If Your Lawyer's Well Hung?"

Quint: "I Have No Idea!"

Prime:" You Can't Get Your Thumb Between The Noose And His Neck!"

Quint:"SHARKTACONS!!!!!!!"

Prime:"It Wasn�
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: During The Course Of The Never Ending Franchise Wars, Season 1 Prime Often Found Himself Confused When Confronted With The Quintessons.
Quintesson: "No NO NO!!!!!!!"
Prime: "My PRECIOUSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!"

- oh dear god -
THYFLESHCONSUMED writes: Quintesson: Sorry, I've Peaked
Dclone Soundwave writes: Good Quintesson.

Quintesson:Innocent! Innocent!

I thought I told you, no more innocent or guilty!
1337W422102 writes: "...and the fan-favorite OPTIMUS PRIME gets ready to throw the ball back onto the field..."
"Gee, Larry, there sure are a lot of screaming femmechs out there today!"
"There sure are, Bob!"
snavej writes: Prime: This is the weirdest dog pound I've ever been in! What the hell kind of breeding is in this mutt?!

Quintesson: Sausages!

Prime: Stop, you're freaking me out!
snavej writes: Prime: Elita-1, is that you?

Quintesson: You'd better believe it! A lot can happen in 4 million years. I got fat, then I had radical plastic surgery, then I established a strange, tyrannical regime on this planet.

Prime: Why?

Quintesson: Y
snavej writes: Quintesson: I was originally created by the Hughions and the Ralphions as a heavy vomiting weapon, but I was too intelligent and I established my own civilisation.

Prime: What happened to your creators?

Quintesson: They accidentally fell down the to
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snavej writes: Quintesson: Together, we can eliminate all the fanboys and reclaim the right to remain caption-free.

Prime: Hallelujah and pass the ammunition!
snavej writes: Prime: So, our peoples are all in agreement: NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE.

Quintesson: Indeed so. We propose a cross-country Wheelie hunt. It will be like that book 'Lord of the Flies'.
snavej writes: Prime: Mr. Quintesson, have you considered becoming a Headmaster for one of my larger warriors?

Quintesson's eyes light up brightly at the thought!
snavej writes: Pokejedservo, the Quintesson does look a bit like a football! Someone as strong as Prime could kick it quite far.
snavej writes: Prime: Of all my many resurrections, this has been the most embarrassing.

Quintesson: You can depend on us!
snavej writes: Prime discovers the reason for the Quintessons' five faces. They are to spot approaching predators - sharks, lions, Junkions and especially chipmunks.
snavej writes: Though he could press some keys, the mouthless Prime was unable to blow the Quintesson's horn.
snavej writes: Optimus' lounge always seemed to get cluttered with useless aliens. He spent a lot of valuable leadership time taking out the trash.
snavej writes: Prime: Good Lord, look at yourself! People never learn: too much inbreeding leads to these kinds of problems!

Quintesson: Maybe we should mate with other robots, like you.

Prime (stepping back): No, I think it's too late for that. Euthanasia
snavej writes: Prime: My big friend Metroplex would like to put you up his bottom for a thrill. It is not a good idea to say no to Metroplex.

Quintesson: My Sharkticons will destroy this 'Metroplex' creature!

Prime: Actually, the Sharkticons are already
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NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: 5 am outside of Shecky's Energon Bar and Grill:

Prime,"Gimme da keys Quinn your in no shape to d..d..GAH,..oh almost yaked."

Quinn Face 1,"I love you man.
Quinn Face 2,"No way man your hammered let me drive."
Quinn Fa
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Lawyer,"Now Prime show us on the Quintesson doll exactly how, and where Mr. Jackson touched you."
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Oh yeah there is a lump there."

Quint looks both ways and whispers, "Do you think it's cancer?"

Prime,"Ughhh better have it checked anyway."
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Which tenticle is the potty tenticle?"
jaster701 writes: "you lost the bet. Now pay up you quiverying Quint!"
Pokejedservo writes: Prime (thinking): Hmmmm... I wonder how far I can punt this thing?
1337W422102 writes: "Prime, this place is gonna blow any second!"
"Outta my way! Every bot for himself!"
1337W422102 writes: "Um, Walmart, what's you return policy on crappy Energon figures that noone bought, like this one?"
Thanatos Prime writes: Down in front Quintesson! This is the best part!
Thanatos Prime writes: Optimus: Hmm...your right that does feel more soft than the leading brand.

Quintesson: Told you so....
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tiar180 writes: nice dog good boy
Kevinus Prime writes: "HOT ROD's the leader? Tell me this is one of those weird alternate universes!"
Kevinus Prime writes: "Great...slow dance song, and I get stuck with the ugly one..."
Kevinus Prime writes: "Hmmm...let's see..loud, obnoxious, overbearing, and more than two faced...you're a lawyer!"
Kevinus Prime writes: Optimus raids the Cybertron Sex Novelty shop.
Kevinus Prime writes: "Ohh, baby...nice ass!"
"Uh...that's my other face..."
Kevinus Prime writes: "So this is what Unicron's testicle looks like."
Kevinus Prime writes: "Roll over! God boy! Does 'em wanna widdle tweat?"
Payner™ writes: "There, there, it's okay. Now, calm down; snavej's captions aren't that bad....."
Tusko writes: "I died for my race and all I got was this lousy Quinteson ballon."
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Tusk writes: Quin: Oh so that's what the song means when it says that you've got the touch!
Tusk writes: Prime: Fantastic! Now my Yoda and E.T have someone else to talk to!
Yoda toy: Wondering, I am, Who are you?
E.T toy: Beeee Goood!
Quin: (sigh) Well, at least I can have an Intelligent Conversation for once.
Frobman writes: Optimus: This has got to be the ugliest kiddie ride I've ever seen.
Quint: Please insert a quarter.
Optimus: Where's that coin slot?
snavej writes: Quintesson: OK, we admit it! We evolved from the giant squid in the oil ocean, about 500 years ago.
snavej writes: Prime: A large hole has appeared in the middle of the high street.

Quintesson: The Sharkticons are looking into it!

Prime: It's the way that we tell 'em!
snavej writes: Quintesson: Let's get married!

Prime: OK, but I should warn you that I have the manners of a 50 tonne truck!
snavej writes: Quintesson: Do you know I want to conquer Cybertron and enslave all Transformers?

Prime: No, but you hum it and I'll play it!
snavej writes: Optimus learns a hard lesson about not touching evil alien overlords. He is mailed back to Cybertron in a box 2x2x2 feet.
snavej writes: Prime: Thinking of all these captions is tiring work! Let's call out for pizza.

Quintesson: Five for me, please. How are you going to eat yours, Prime?

Prime: My crevices were sealed recently. I'll have to tear it up small and cram it d
Tusko writes: Prime instantly knew how to initiate the bonding and mating ritual amoungst the Quintesons, by sticking his finger in their ears. "Matrix of wisdom and leadership, bay-bee!"
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NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Ok lets see the package says heat for 3 minutes.BEEP,BEEP,BEEP..........Oh come on you stupid microwave WORK!"

Quint," I.....AM.....NOT.....A.....MICROWAVE!"

Prime,"Whoa you talk!"
(Leans in closer.)
Prime,&quo
snavej writes: Prime: Why do you have horns? Do you actually do any charging and goring?

Quintesson (downcast): No, I'm a fraud. A big, fat, ugly fraud.
snavej writes: Prime: Hang in there! All the King's horses and all the King's men are on their way!
snavej writes: Quintesson (sings):
Come on without, come on within
You ain't seen nothing like the mighty Quin!

Prime: I'm going to open your skull and scoop out your brains with a huge piece of toast!
snavej writes: Quintesson: You too could have a body like mine.

Prime shudders in revulsion.
snavej writes: Prime: With this bizarre, ovoid piece, I will surely win the All Cybertron Sculpture Competition 2005. Even Grapple's Towering Tower of Justice is lumpen in comparison.

Quintesson: Do you mind?! We've had a hard day's judging and we ne
snavej writes: Prime: Maybe if you changed your colours to something more patriotic like my red, white and blue, people would like you more.

Quintesson: I tried that once but the Sharkticons went berserk. No idea why. Green and grey are more soothing colours for th
snavej writes: Prime: Quinty, baby, what makes you tick?

Quintesson: My built-in clock.

Prime: I mean, how does your body work?

Quintesson: There's a little guy inside me who runs the show. Calls himself 'Wheelie'.

Prime: AHA! Come out, you
snavej writes: Prime: So, what do you transform into?

Quintesson (irritated): A frikking omlette!

Prime: Cool!
snavej writes: Prime: Springer! What happened to you?

Springer (resembling a Quintesson): It's a long story.

Prime: Was it something to do with Perceptor's scratched lenses?

Springer: Never annoy a top-grade scientist, Prime. That's my new mott
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snavej writes: Prime: Please enter the microwave decontamination chamber for a few moments.

Quintesson: Certainly. [Enters chamber, exposed to microwaves, explodes like a big metal egg.]
snavej writes: Prime: Hey, delivery guy, this isn't the package I ordered!

Quintesson: Your package was innocent. We threw it to the rats in the pit below the mail room. They seemed to like it. They are now trying to eat their own heads.

Prime: Damn you!
snavej writes: Prime: Thank you, Mr. Burns. It's lovely. I'll put it next to the giant Olmec head statue in the basement.

[Simpsons joke.]
king_dingy writes: Prime: Lower....lower!!
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Dread Quint,"Heyyyy mon jew gonna smoke dose stacks or wat mon?"

Prime,"Jeeez this last season really did suck ass."
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Pikaquint I chose YOU!"

Quint,"Are you retarted?"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Damn these slot machines are weird. Where's the damn handle?!"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Whoaaaa sweeeeeet sideburns!"

Quint,"Nice huh? Van Morrison lent me them, he wasn't using them."
RodimusPrime msralph writes: If I can just feel around here..... BLAST!!! There has to be an off switch, to turn this babbling idiot off.
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"Hup! What's this? A quarter behind your ear! How'd that get there?"
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NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"You had me at guilty. You had me at guilty. *snif*"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Optimus,"If you sing one more Andrew Loydd Weber showtune I'm gonna kill you."
pdp11 writes: Hot Rod: Guess what we got you!
Springer: Gotta close your optics!
Ultra Magnus: No Peeking!
Quintesson: Hey Baby.
Prime (opens eyes): AAAAAAHHHHH!!
Raiden Gundam writes: Prime:Whhoooowwww!
This thing just switched faces and voices!
Quintesson: Dumasss (switch faces) BOOO!
Prime: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Screambug writes: I want to adopt you as a pet!
Nemesis Primal writes: Prime: "All right, shake hands and..."

Quint: "Oh, sure, stick out the hand and tease us with it! Laugh while you can, you fingery ***hole."

Prime: "The hell...?"
Roadshadow writes: Prime: Who's a good dog? Huh? Huh? You are! Yes, you are!
Quintesson: Quit being a dick, Prime. I'm not a friggin' dog!
Nemesis Primal writes: Prime: "So it's settled? You'll give me one of your mouths if I just tell you where my trailer goes?"
Frobman writes: Optimus: You feel icy cold. Are you ill?
Quint: All metals always are like that on normal tempuratures. You've been stationed on Earth for too long.
Rebel writes: its alright if your gay we except all life styles on cybertron
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Light Blade writes: Optimus: Who's a good boy, who is? who is? it's you, yes you are! yes you are!
Quint: What does this achive
Optimus: i'm trying to give you back your chilhood which you wasted away in statistics lessons
Quint: 86% probability that you ar
Raiden Gundam writes: OP: There you go Quintesson. Dosen't that feel better?
Quintesson: Ohhhh yyeeeeeahhhhh. Wha.. Wait! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA RAPIST!
Frobman writes: Following the ways of Mr. Spock, Prime attempts to try out the mind attack, only realising only Vulcans can do this.
DecepticonRedAlert writes: op:if you want me to scratch you ask next time

Q:thats the spot
snavej writes: Quintesson: Well, I went to a party one night and got totally drunk. When I woke up the next day, someone had stolen my body and grafted four extra faces onto my head. Naturally, I was incredibly angry and started executing people for no good reason.
snavej writes: Optimus escapes by spinning the Quintesson very fast on its anti-gravity beam, then driving away. The Quintesson collides with three walls, vomits green slime from all five mouths and falls over.
snavej writes: Quintesson: Let us get this straight. 'Innocent' actually means 'let them go' and 'guilty' means 'punish them'.

Prime: That's right, you had a glitch in your dictionary programme.

Quintesson: So that
snavej writes: Prime: What idiot designed your body, anyway?

Quintesson: We're not sure. We think the designer was influenced by the old Earth nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty.

Prime: Style before substance - the same old frakking story again.
snavej writes: The Quintesson opens a hatch in its eggy body, revealing the chocolate goodness within. Prime wishes he had a mouth to taste the brown ambrosia.
snavej writes: Prime: Has one of you seen my trailer?

Quintesson Face 4: It was guilty.

Quintesson Face 2: We were confused.

Quintesson Face 5: We didn't want to throw it to the Sharkticons.

Quintesson Face 1: We threw it to the Mechanical Mud Skippers
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snavej writes: Prime: Hi, I'm Optimus Prime and my pants are enormous.

Quintesson: I'm an upside-down egg and I was laid by the Cosmic Pain Chicken ... of Doom.

Sharkticon (out of shot): Hey boss, just to let you know, we're forming a trade union.
1337W422102 writes: I won the Caption Contest and all I got was this stupid Quintesson!
snavej writes: Prime: There's a guy I know, name of Galvatron, called you a big spiky egg. I think you should teach him a lesson. Send all your troops.

Quintesson: Is he innocent?

Prime: Extremely.
Randomflyingtransformer writes: Prime: (pats shoulder) congratulations quinty, even when you finally got a toy made out of you, you still failed to sell any.
snavej writes: Prime: The Dinobots will be coming here shortly for their simultaneous blow jobs.

Quintesson: I will bite their members off!

Prime: That's the plan!
snavej writes: Quintesson: I see my reflection in your chest glass. How could I have let myself turn so ugly?!

Prime: What did you used to look like?

Quintesson shows a picture of Joan Rivers.

Prime (recoiling): Your looks have actually improved; trust me!
Death-Ray Charles writes: Prime:no you dont have food in your teeth
Death-Ray Charles writes: Prime: I have never told you this before...but.......Death face.....always loved you best...

*SmOOCH*
snavej writes: Quintesson Face 1: My best friend left me this morning. Boo hoo hoo!

Quintesson Face 3: I'm round the back, you fool!
snavej writes: Prime: Hey, Quinty! Fancy going on a giant metal squid hunt in the oil oceans?

Quintesson: I have no arms and cannot hold nets, rods or lines. I will have to use the Sharkticons.
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snavej writes: Prime: My troops are all turning gay and I don't know what to do. They say it's just innocent fun.

Quintesson: Innocent, you say? Your course is clear - feed them to the Sharkticons.
snavej writes: Prime: This Christmas tree is the worst I've ever seen!

Quintesson: Well, it's your own fault, going to Earth and using all those radiation-based weapons and generators. You've inadvertently mutated the Terran organisms.

Prime: It ta
snavej writes: Quintesson: Don't touch that; it's my built-in paint shaker!

Prime: Sorry, my hands have minds of their own!
snavej writes: Prime finds the off switch and all is well in the galaxy.
snavej writes: Prime: May I have this dance?

Quintesson: Why of course, sire! I only ask that you take care not to put your foot in my beam of anti-gravity!
snavej writes: Quintesson: Prime, why do you have an image of Starscream on your personal communicator screen? Isn't he your sworn enemy?

Prime: Those damned sweatshop workers!
snavej writes: Prime: Rhinox, you've changed since I last saw you!
Ratbat writes: Thanks for reviving me, Quintesson...even though you ARE an enemy.
Powermaster Jazz writes: I told Prowl to put his Kootie game away. Now it's goin' in the trash.
snavej writes: Transformers try alien sex from time to time.
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snavej writes: Prime: You didn't manage to kill Hot Rod for me. Pity; better luck next time!

Quintesson: We're building new, bigger, smarter Sharkticons just for him.
A'Arab Zaraq writes: Prime: "I want you to hit me, as hard as you can!"
Rainbow Starscream writes: Prime: Ahhhhh! Finally! My Halloween costume showed up today. Wait 'til the guys get a look at this!
A'Arab Zaraq writes: *opening credits of fight club*

Quint: "This is Prime... Prime has Batch Tanks"
A'Arab Zaraq writes: Prime: "Hey, I'm on to you Marla! As if that is or isn't your real name..."

Prime: "Hey I can't cry when there's another faker present..."
Jaw Crusher writes: Optimus: "You revived me? You...a Quintesson?"
Quintesson: "I had no choice...the entire franchise was threatened!!!"
Rainbow Starscream writes: OP: What? Galvatron kicked your ass and stole your lunch money? *pats the Quint* It's allright, I totally understand. He did the same thing to me when he was Megatron.
A'Arab Zaraq writes: Quint: "Left a bit, up a bit.. ohh scratch it there... not too much.. ohh that tickles"

Prime: *High pitched synth girl like giggles*

Skylynx: "This is so wrong..."

Kupp: "I find it poetic..."

Skylynx: "Aren&
snavej writes: Prime: I thought you were dead!
Quintesson: I thought YOU were dead!
Prime: Since when did that ever stop anyone!
Quintesson: [Five evil laughs simultaneously.]
snavej writes: Prime: Five blow jobs at the same time? Impressive! I can't even give one!
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Archanubis writes: This is the biggest twister top I've ever seen!
Road Turtle writes: Prime, "OK, rotate a full 360 degress clockwise to the orange face, then a full 360 counter clockwise passing the orange face and stopping at the death face, then rotate clockwise to the green spikey face, now PULL!" (Click!)

All five faces,
Ransom writes: Optimus Prime gets a head start on Christmas by purchasing the largest tree-topper he can find.
Acelister writes: Optimus: "I was going to try you for crimes against... Everything... But when I look into your eyes, I can't stay mad at you... You're free to go!"
Acelister writes: Optimus: "Quintesson, my love... Let us never be apart..."
Quint: "But what about Elita-One...?"
Optimus: "Starscream and Ramjet are still holding her hostage. Forget about her."
Acelister writes: Optimus: "I know I've been blinded and only have you to belive... But are you sure you're Arcee...?"
Quint: "Yes... Hehehe..."
Optimus: "Sorry, did I tickle you?"
Quint: "Yeah... Hey, walk about seven ste
Powerstorm writes: Can I borrow one of these faces for Halloween?
Deceptivore writes: "Ahh... finally! A hood ornament worthy of a Prime!"
Laserbot writes: Quint: Murmph, thats my face...

Prime: Oh uhh sorry

::sets hand on otherside::

Quint: Muuumph thats my face too!

Prime: err.....
Ravage XK writes: Prime : "Oh whos a good boy? You are! Yes you are. Yes you are. Who wants a tummy rub?!!"
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Dragontron88 writes: Assume the posistion! All tentacles on the wall, and open all of your mouths at once, and what do we have here, all the records of the so called "innocent", you'll do hard time for this buddy, get your ass in the shuttle, watch your heads,
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE writes: Prime,"There,there let it all out."

Quint,"Snif,snif,snif and and then all the kids at school called me fatty."

Prime,"Your not fat your just.....just a five faced freak."

Quint,"WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
RodimusPrime msralph writes: Soo.....Soft, you use oil Olay.
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Transformers Podcast: Twincast / Podcast #102 - Hidden Mickeys
Twincast / Podcast #102:
"Hidden Mickeys"
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Posted: Sunday, October 5th, 2014