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A/N: We're nearly finished writing this ^__^ I am a day behind due to having a days holiday from work so here have an update.

“Frag it!” Barricade jumped out of the way as Ironhide collapsed in front of him. Then he cursed again as the low gee sent him spinning away. Then, just because apparently Primus’s favorite number was three, he cursed a third time, as the yellow Autobot bounced handily from the surface and caught him.

He shook the yellow freak’s paws off him as soon as his feet were on the ground. He crossed over to where Starscream hunched, without looking back at the yellow weirdo. “Me,” he announced. “What’s the excitement?”

“Prowl is trying to convince Blackout to carry Ironhide again.”

“How are you holding up?”

“I admit that the medic’s words alarm me. I do not wish to be permanently blind.”

“Our repair bots can fix anything,” Barricade said, confidently.

“There is, however, the matter of getting me to the repair bots.” A nervous flutter of his hands. “Or vice versa.”

Barricade stared at where Prowl was gesticulating patiently with Blackout, the yellow mech now kneeling silently over Ironhide. He didn’t give half a hard-drive about Ironhide. And Starscream was prone to…well, histrionics. But the jet had been fairly, well, for him, patient about it, and the prospect of being permanently blind…. Worse, Barricade thought, the humiliation he’d have to face being somehow towed or dragged back to the Nemesis.

“Hey, Blackout?” he called. “I know you’re all eager to make friends with Prowlie here, and we did kind of warn you he was irresistible, but maybe we could get this over with if we just gave in graciously, ONCE AGAIN, and you flew the useless pile of slag.” He shrugged. “You know, it’s up to you, though.” He felt kind of bad. The damn copter had saved his fraggin’ life, even after he’d treated him like rancid oil. And the fraggin’ rotor-headed moron always wanted to be so glitchin’ helpful all the time.

//You mean it?//

Primus, Barricade swore, watching Blackout’s face light up. Blackout, The Helpful Decepticon.

He couldn’t help a smile from crossing his face. Fraggin’ idiot copter.

****

Nadya and Stokes stood patiently by Bumblebee as he helped Ironhide sit up.

“Is he going to be alright?” Nadya asked Bumblebee softly earning a scowl from the black mech.

“I am going to be fine. Wish everyone would stop fawning over me.” Ironhide grumbled batting Bumblebee’s helpful hand away as he stood slowly, grimacing as more energon spilled onto the floor.

Prowl came over and held out his hand to the two humans. “Blackout has agreed to fly you to the Ark, Ironhide.”

“I’m not gettin’ in that fraggin’ copter and leavin’ you with them.”

Prowl narrowed his optics, features remaining stern as he tried to keep hold of his patience. “Ironhide I am tired of debating with you. Get on board please.”

Ironhide glared at the black and white who held his gaze impassively. Prowl was not going to back down and his clipped tone was more than enough warning for Ironhide not to argue. Grumbling he climbed on board the waiting ‘con and took hold tightly as Blackout soared into the air rapidly in the low g.

*****
Ratchet stood at the lower hangar as Blackout approached on the horizon. His rotors kicked up the steely grey dust as he landed. Ratchet sighed as he heard Ironhide’s cursing over the rotor hum. Making his way through the billowing dust Ratchet almost tripped over Ironhide’s splayed out leg as he lay face down in the dust. The medic opened his mouth and glanced up at Blackout who looked a little sheepish.

“He got impatient, tried to get out before I’d landed, he fell… I totally didn’t touch him.”

Ratchet grumbled. That certainly sounded like Ironhide. And it didn’t sound like Blackout’s style, anyway. Ironhide groaned as Ratchet relaxed into a snide snigger. Lifting the large mech up with Blackout’s help, they half carried, half dragged him back to the Ark. “Well, that serves you right doesn’t Ironhide? Never listen to the slaggin’ medic, it’s a wonder you still have limbs.”

“He’s worse than Barricade,” Blackout offered, figuring that anything that compared Ironhide unfavorably to the grounder was bound to get him riled. Blackout was a little miffed that the Autobot didn’t trust him to fly. The entire trip, Ironhide had been commenting about his altitiude, his groundspeed, his rotor vector…it got irritating.

“And worse than you,” Ratchet agreed, smirking as Ironhide’s face twisted with outrage.

Blackout snickered to himself; at least it wasn’t just him that befell to the medic’s snark. Even his own faction had to suffer his clearly defective programming. Ratchet guided Ironhide inside. Glancing over his shoulder he gave the ‘copter a quick nod. “Wait here for the others; they shouldn’t be long. Sideswipe should be out shortly.”

Was that a good thing? Sideswipe? Blackout shrugged. He did want to watch more of Ironhide getting the worse end of Ratchet’s ‘skills’, but didn’t trust Ratchet not to come after him again. Hanging out with Barricade made paranoia a bit contagious.

Blackout gladly obliged he did not have any desire to inflict the medic on himself any longer than he absolutely had to. He did not however relish spending time with yet another Autobot who was probably just as if not more so annoying than Beeblebore.

Sideswipe turned out not to look so thrilled to see him either.

“Where’s Soundwave?” he asked after a few moment of insufferable silence.

Sideswipe gestured back into the Ark. “He’s busy with Prime. You get to wait here.”

“What, afraid we’ll take over the ship?” Blackout snorted unaware of how very present that thought was on each Autobot’s mind. “Yeah, it’s totally a worthy prize right now. Thanks to your excellent piloting.” Grounders, he thought, should never try to fly. Look at the mess they made.

Sideswipe simply resorted to folding his arms and returning to uncomfortable silence.

Blackout sighed, the ‘bots really couldn’t take a joke, at least the yellow idiot had no aversion to talking to him.

*****

A quarter-cycle later, the wreckage of the ship hove into view. Barricade’s capacitor stalled at the sight. //Hey, Starscream? Abandon all hope of hitching a ride on this.//

A sigh and the jet tensed his hand against Barricade’s arm tires. //I had feared as much. Soundwave can be thorough. Where is he?//

//Must be inside with Ironhide. Blackout’s waiting for us.// Out loud, Barricade said, “Oh look, Astronaut Stokes, new technology!”

Stokes scuttled off toward the ship, dragging Nadya with him, burbling excitedly.

Blackout stood outside of the wreckage of the ship, exchanging mutually wary glares with Sideswipe. Barricade sidled over, dragging Starscream with him. Just to make a point. Sideswipe glared back.

“What’s up, Blackout,” Barricade said, conversationally.

“Won’t let me go talk to Soundwave.”

“Of course not!” Sideswipe sounded outraged at the idea.

“Why not? He let you talk to Ironhide?” Barricade crossed his arms over his chassis. Behind him, Starscream hissed. He could make an impression, when he wanted to: Barricade was gratified to see Sideswipe shrink back for a moment.

Sideswipe rallied, though. “Right, not afraid of you, Starscream. Especially blind.”

Starscream’s hiss turned to a dangerous growl. “I would show some respect, Autobot. We were instrumental in helping your friends escape."

“Yeah, let’s see. We had the maps, the surface comm., the geolocator, and the det cord. You provided the psychotic Ironhide and the…” Barricade trailed off, showily. “Huh. Starscream, what did the Autobots contribute?”

“I suspect that the constant irritation they provided may have kept us moving at some points. Beyond that, however, Prowl made a fairly good armrest.” He smiled. Even blind, he could imagine Sideswipe’s seethe.

“You shut up, ‘con,” Sideswipe said, unsheathing one of his energon blades.

They heard muttering from inside the ship. “Ratchet,” Blackout explained.

“You stay outta…EVERYTHING!” Ratchet’s voice echoed from the ship, “Fraggin’ human curiosity!”

“Ah yes, the Autobot honor, attacking a poor, injured, innocent Decepticon for merely stating a contrary opinion.”

Sideswipe, at the edge of his legendarily-short temper, lunged at Starscream, howling. Blackout caught him around the waist, swinging him high into the low gee. Sideswipe cursed, tumbling wildly in the air.

“Hunh,” Blackout grunted. “At least you didn’t get all the LECTURES. That’s why I like Bartleby: at least he’s quiet.”

“Quiet would be nice,” Ratchet grumped, appearing in the doorway. “I am trying to work in here. Also, who sic’d the fraggin’ humans on me?”
Barricade pointed at Prowl. “We brought you more business,” Barricade said, cheerily. “Bet you always wanted to paw the jet-ow!” Starscream swung at Barricade, his back-hand spines catching Barricade’s upper arm tires. “What?” Barricade said, rubbing his tire, aggrieved. “Everyone else does.”

“Barricade, try not to project your hopeless and unrequited attraction to me onto every mech. It is embarrassing.”

Blackout started snickering.

“Shut up, copter.” Barricade frowned.

Ratchet jumped down to the ground, looking up at Starscream. “Can you get down here?” He planted his hands on his hips, huffing impatiently as Starscream settled himself awkwardly on the ground. Ratchet pulled some sort of tool from his storage, peering into Starscream’s optics, shining a bright light at the optical sensor at the back. He grunted.

“These are not comforting sounds,” Starscream muttered.

Blackout chimed in, “I told you so. Repair bots? MUCH better.”

“Not a good idea,” Ratchet said, blithely, “to disrespect the medic who fixed you. And will shortly be up to his wrist servos in your friend’s optical relays.”

Starscream gave a terrified squeak, jerking his head back.

“Frag it!” Ratchet swore. “Gonna have to take you inside and offline you.”

“Off-lii--?” Starscream’s useless optics rolled skyward. He slumped heavily on his engines, kicking up a cloud of dust.

Barricade coughed at the dust. “Thought we went over this, Autobot. Offline?”

“Oh, right,” Ratchet said, sarcastically. “I forgot how sensitive you all are.”

A/N: Very nice long update for you now to make up for me dropping the ball on this one.
****

Sideswipe was promptly dragged inside the Ark by a now highly irritated Prowl who had observed his unprovoked attack from a distance as he arrived at the ship. He was in the process of giving him a severe dressing down as Ratchet stormed past, his grip firmly clamped around the arm of a gloomy looking Starscream. Despite the jet being a few feet taller than the medic, he had no choice but to go where the ‘bot guided him.

Prowl and Sideswipe just watched as Barricade and Blackout trailed behind, bickering amongst themselves, when Barricade noticed their gaze and pursed his mouth and blew Prowl a kiss, mocking the human gesture awkwardly at best. The two humans caught this as they hovered around and Stokes immediately began sniggering.

Sideswipe frowned in confusion. “Did he just?”

“Don’t.” Prowl interrupted shaking his head. “Just don’t.”

Sideswipe smirked and raised his brow in disbelief at the ‘cons continued bickering. “Are they always like that?”

Prowl let out a barely audible sigh. “You have no idea.”

Sideswipe cast a sidelong glance at Prowl. “You had fun down there then, I take it?” He grinned as Prowl gave him a dark look.

“Hardly.”

“Not what it looks like.” Sideswipe grinned. Prowl uncomfortable? Fun. He’d have to tell Sunny about this. As soon as he figure out what this was actually all about.

Prowl’s optics narrowed at the retreating silver mech. “What ever you’re presuming is greatly exaggerated, I assure you.” Prowl fell into step beside Sideswipe. “So much so that I realized I prefer spending time with you, although even that is debatable.”

Sideswipe’s grin faltered, shooting a look at Prowl he frowned at the faint smirk tugging at Prowl’s mouth. “Oh now you decide to grow a sense of humour? I think being around the ‘cons has mellowed you, Prowl.”

****
“So,” Stokes said, “He said we had to stay out of everything. He didn’t mean the ventilation ducts.”

“Ventilation ducts are a something,” Nadya said, crawling after him. She didn’t know quite why she was following him-oh, wait, because he’d get into trouble and would eventually need her help to get out.

“Something isn’t the same as ‘everything’, Nadya,” Stokes said, coolly, “Maybe your English isn’t so khorosho, da?”

She glared at his backside for all the good it did. “So, we have a plan, yes? Or are you planning on simply getting us lost forever in the ship?”

Stokes paused to shoot her a pained look. She bumped into his ankle from the sudden stop. “Of COURSE I have a plan. When have I not had a plan?”

As far as she knew, always. “So, you are going to tell me this plan?”

“Just waiting to build up a little mystery, you know. Anyway, we’re running low on O2. This is the ventilation shaft. We know they CAN generate breathable human atmosphere on their ships, so…”

“We trace it back to the main system and…? But how do we know we’re going the right way?”

“See, that’s what’s wrong with you Russkies. That whole pioneer spirit, exploration, boldly going where no man has gone before….”

“The last is from a television show, Stokes,” Nadya said. Russians were plenty good explorers. “We beat you into space, didn’t we?”

“Oh, that dog? Whatever.”

Nadya rolled her eyes. There was a reason he was a science expert and not a diplomat. “So we just wander, I mean, explore aimlessly?”

“No,” he said, derisively. “We wander and sooner or later this duct will run into a larger one. We follow the larger ducts to the core. Bingo.”

What if we’re going the wrong way? She wanted to ask. But she knew he’d just say something about turning around. Oh, she was beginning to see the police car’s point about Stokes. He was…hurtable.


****
Optimus was getting frustrated with the ship’s computer. Firewalls were being thrown up at every attempt he made to re-initialize the system. Soundwave wasn’t much help. The visored mech stood to one side, expression blank, stance un-threatening. That in itself had Optimus on edge. Soundwave was a difficult mech to predict in the best of circumstances. It didn’t help that his audio buzzed faintly with the tell tale signal of an internal comm.

Glancing over his shoulder he spied Rumble smirking in his direction. His concentration was broken by Sideswipe goading Prowl as they entered the bridge. He was glad for the familiar company.

“Prowl, it’s good to see you well. What’s the status?”

“Likewise, sir. The ‘cons are currently with Ratchet in the med-bay. Starscream requires extensive rep -repairs and Ironhide is…” Prowl frowned and shook his head, distracted. “He is…”

Optimus’s concern grew as Prowl reached up to grab his head. “Prowl, what’s wrong?”

Prowl grimaced, in obvious pain. His head was filling with a debilitating ache. Something had come online in his cortex; he could feel it. It was starting to break down his internal firewalls from the inside.

“Prowl?” Optimus repeated, placing a hand on the mech’s shoulder to steady him as he bent double.

Prowl let out a digitized whine, his optics shot up to glare at Prime. Optimus drew back sharply as they flickered from blue to red and back to blue.

“Run.” Prowl rasped.

“What?”

Sideswipe was beside his leader, his hand resting on Prowl’s other shoulder. “Prime, what’s happening?”

Optimus shook his head his gaze fixed on Prowl.

“Please go before I…I.” Prowl let out a cry that startled both ‘bots.

Sideswipe didn’t know what hit him when the tactician finally moved. He howled as cables in his wrist snapped. The ground flew away from him as he was hurled into the forward viewer. He landed heavily, grunting as his full weight collapsed onto his broken arm. He could hear commotion throughout the bridge. Optimus let out a holler of pain. A loud crash snapped Sideswipe from his daze. On-lining his optics he gasped in horror at the sight of Prowl ruthlessly attacking an already-injured Optimus.

Being the tactician, Prowl had already incapacitated Prime’s legs, driving him into the floor, and had thrown himself onto his back as the larger mech tried to crawl away.

Sideswipe felt a jolt of fear at the menacing snarl that escaped Prowl’s vocaliser. Scrabbling to his feet he launched himself at the SIC, only to hit the solid mass of metal that was Soundwave.

Rumble went in for the kill, clawing fiercely at Sideswipe’s chassis while Soundwave returned his attentions to the two struggling ‘bots on the floor.

Optimus was putting up a valiant fight but was weakening rapidly, Prowl had gone straight for his earlier injury and energon now pooled beneath him, spreading slowly over the metal plating. The back of his helm had been pried open by Prowl’s tapered fingers, exposing neural pathways.

Prowl’s optics were flickering deep red as the nano-virus became aware and took complete control. Soundwave could tell by the tremble in Prowl’s hands that he was resisting the control; he had no time to waste. Tendrils shot out from beneath his frame embedding themselves into Prowl’s cortex just as the black and white linked himself with a torn neural circuit in Prime’s head.

Prowl jolted upright with a yell as Soundwave took over. Optimus made a choking sound as Soundwave hacked into him, using his SIC as a buffer. He lost all feeling in his legs and arms as a dark weight descended over his consciousness. Using the last bit of energy he had, he opened the all comms.

//Ratchet! Help… Soundwa…aaacckkk!!//

He was cut off as Soundwave hacked past his firewalls. His vision went black and his audio whined in protest as the sound of screaming pierced through him. Sideswipe, Prowl he couldn’t tell who, he heard the startled sound of a voice vaguely familiar to him yelling to Soundwave.

The ‘cons had won, they’d beaten him. Optimus despaired as the weight in his cortex pressed down on him, smashing through his already weakened firewalls. He felt codes, passwords, defence tactics, all forcefully snatched from his innermost neurons. ‘I’ve failed,’ he thought as consciousness fled.


******
//Blackout!// the yellow Autobot’s voice sounded desperate over the copter’s comm freq. Blackout looked around: Ratchet was up to his elbows in Starscream’s head, grumbling about the impossible odds of finding anything like a cortex in there. Barricade was pacing between the repair frame on which Ironhide lay and Starscream, defying the black Autobot to make a move. Blackout knew that walk-Barricade had had enough and was about to go off like an explosive charge. And we trusted him with det cord?

//What’s up, Burbleburp?// He so didn’t need any more drama right now.

//Need your help, please!? Optimus is being attacked!//

//Not my problem, Burp.// He had a sick feeling he knew what was going on. But he wasn’t one of the smart ones who had plans and such. He just wanted to fight and get out intact.

//Come on! You have to help!//

//Why’s that? You guys weren’t very helpful to me. Talking about me all the time in front of my back and stuff. Seriously. Not cool.//

//I’m really sorry. Honest. Can you help? Soundwave’s doing something awful.//

Soundwave. Blackout considered himself a reasonable mech. And easy to get along with, well, if you could put up with his stupidity. He was one of the few mechs Barricade even pretended to like. Well, as much as Barricade liked anyone. But Soundwave…. Not his favorite mech. Sure, a lot of mechs were smarter than Blackout, but Soundwave seemed to take personal pleasure in making Blackout look and feel stupid. Especially in front of others. For no reason. //No promises, Blarf,// he said, as he slipped out of the repair bay.

Skidding to a halt, his optics widened as Soundwave was bearing down over Prowl who was himself restraining Prime. Tendrils had snaked from Soundwave, burying into Prowl’s helm. The ‘bot was shaking violently as the hack violated his systems attacking Prime directly through him, using him as a buffer to prevent Optimus from erecting any defenses. This was…uncool looking. And more than a little creepy. Seriously. It reminded him of the Vampire Cybersquid episode of Seeker Cadets. Burble was slumped in a corner, Ravage snarling over him.

Blackout froze, his optics darted over to Sideswipe who was locked into a wrestling match with the ferocious Rumble. Well, too bad. The silver Autobot was on his own. If he couldn’t handle a runt like Rumble, that was his problem.

Blackout cursed inwardly. ‘Think Blackout think!’ Creepy not-cool jerkwad Soundwave, or obnoxious pontificating (he thanked his word-a-solar calendar for that) Optimus Prime? Both kinda sucked in his book. And not in the vampire cybersquid way. What would Barricade do?

That didn’t seem like such a hot moral compass, but it was a place to start. Maybe he’d figure what Barricade would do, and do the exact opposite. Let’s see. Barricade would yell at him, first, about not target-locking and keeping his processor on his priorities. What were his priorities? The ship! The ship: they needed the ship to get off this stupid moon. Would Soundwave help them with that? Probably not. Soundwave would happily float in space until someone could pick him up. AFTER blowing the rest of them-moon, Autobots, ‘cons, etc-to frozen space-bunny chow.

Would Optimus help? Hrm. If Beezley told him to. Terrible leader, always getting pushed around by his own mechs. Sure. ‘Course that meant Beezlebuff had to be alive to testify. Well, Blackout could manage that. He was dumb, sure, but there was some stuff he knew.

Using his sheer bulk, he barreled into Soundwave sending them both crashing to the floor. They were virtually equal in size but Soundwave was no match for Blackout’s fighting skill. Soundwave was, after all, a satellite. Not exactly combat grade. On the first blow, one of his panels shattered.

His rotor cut through the tendrils eliciting a howl from Soundwave. Behind him, the ground mech Barricade hated so much collapsed onto the floor. Soundwave swung out at him. Blackout parried it easily, swatting the hand away as if it were nothing more than a bug. Heaving Soundwave to his feet by his throat, he bellowed across the bridge.

“Don’t make me do it!”

Rumble ceased his attack instantly, his optics darting between Sideswipe gasping on his back, to the limp forms of Prowl and Prime on the floor and up to Soundwave held in a merciless grip by Blackout. “You wouldn’t dare, traitor!” Beyond him, Ravage whirled, snarling at Blackout.

Blackout’s glare bore down onto the skittish cassettes. “I haven’t planned on blowing any of my guys into pieces, so who’s the traitor?”

Rumble growled and approached Blackout, his sharp claws scissoring in agitation.

“Just try me.” Blackout growled tightening his grip on Soundwave. His comm buzzed.

//Blackout. I suspect you will be able to elucidate the recent medic alert that has prevented Ratchet from finishing my repairs?// Starscream’s voice was a welcome distraction. //The Autobot leader is injured?//

//Yeah, he and Prowl are offline I think. Soundwave’s doing. Not mine, I swear!//

//No cookie for you, Blackout. You are a terrible Decepticon.//

//Uhhh, sorry about interrupting your repairs?//

//No matter. One optic is online and functional, and the other has been stabilized. If he had continued his ‘procedure’ with those disturbing tools of his, he would have had to replace the optic with an Autobot spare. I do not fancy having blue eyes. It would ruin my allure.//

He heard a flurry of cursing from Ratchet. At that moment Prime groaned and stirred weakly.

//Oh wait, Prime’s still online! Still you better get down here, got a situation.//

//Is the situation’s name Soundwave?//

//Yup.//

//Barricade will get there first. Follow his lead.//

****

Prowl felt movement beneath his legs and heard the low baritone of Prime groaning in discomfort. He activated internal systems checks before moving. He was on the floor, what in Primus’s name was he doing on the floor and why was Prime sprawled out beside him? He felt a deep ache throbbing in his head, no more like a pounding on his cortex with a hammer.

Why couldn’t he remember? He scanned over his memory files. The last thing he could recall was meeting Prime on the bridge. He let out a gasp as his memory files replayed an entirely different account of events.

The processor ache was getting worse. Prowl heard Prime shifting beside him, he could hear voices around the room, not Autobots. Something had gone wrong. He couldn’t bring himself to online his optics, he could feel the nano virus still coarsing through his systems and Prowl knew from his recovered memory that it was triggered by target sighting, he couldn’t risk attacking Prime again.

Parts of his processor which he’d managed to firewall began to red line across his HUD. Soundwave had torn through most of his defenses, ripping open his neurons in an attempt to hack into Prime through him; they were exposed and vulnerable to the persistent nano virus.

He could hear Blackout threatening someone, Prowl turned his head in an attempt to listen in on what was unfolding around him as he lay incapacitated on the floor. He was threatening Soundwave, no Rumble, but why? Why would a ‘con help them? If Soundwave had been successful in hacking into Prime the ship was as good as theirs. What possible reason could they have for suddenly showing them mercy?

Prowl let out a groan of frustration and pain, as the thoughts weighed on his processor, ‘thinking, bad idea. Don’t think about it, it will all go away, you’ve already crashed and are in the middle of a glitch right now, it’s the only logical explanation, just don’t think about it… frag.’ he lifted his hands to his helm, his cortex feeling as though it was about to explode.

****

Barricade decided that his hatred of Autobots had become, in the course of this adventure, entirely justified. Beyond that: hating Autobots was really the only rational choice. To know them is to hate them. The idiot Ironhide; the completely useless (save for entertainment purposes only) Prowl; THESE FRAGGING HUMANS; and then the team that had apparently been Stockholm Syndroming Blackout.

Which was sort of like shoving candy in a baby, or whatever the stupid human expression was. Blackout was primed to like everyone. Stupid programming glitch. Megatron always said they were all of them glitches and outcastes. Too bad that Blackout’s permanent 404 was terminal nice.

It wasn’t, alas, the first time that Barricade had had to rescue Blackout from his own worst impulses.

So he wasn’t surprised to round the corner and see Blackout against the wall of the room, one forearm hard in Soundwave’s throat, as the two cassetticons snarled at him impotently. This…would require careful handling.

Or not.

“Hey,Wavy-gravy, what’s up?” Barricade propped himself against the doorframe. Soundwave hated nicknames. Admittedly, his were even stupider than ‘Cade’.

“Your…teammate has gone rogue, Barricade. Recommendation: termination.”

“Let me do it! Touching the boss!” Rumble was nearly foaming at the intake with fury.

“Blackout,” Barricade said, coolly, “Let him down.”

“Barricade!” Blackout protested, “You know what he’s going to do! You can’t let him!”

“I know what he thinks he’s going to do.” Barricade swung into the room as Ratchet pushed by him, nearly throwing himself on the ground in his haste to aid the downed Autobots. He gestured. Reluctantly, Blackout released his grip. Soundwave tossed his shoulders, wincing as the action sprayed some fragments from one of his satellite reflectors.

“I know you shall not get away with this sedition,” Soundwave said, haughtily.

Barricade ignored him, along with the snarling Ravage. “And you know what else I know?” Blackout looked at him, nervously. “I know he’s not going to do it. Want to know how I know that?” He flashed a smile at Soundwave.

“Offline me? Is that your cunning plan?” Soundwave snarled.

“Oh, that would be far too easy. And besides, we might need…something in that vat of rancid goo you call a cortex. Lesson for you, Blackout, why you should always listen to the science officer. Who has, of course, studied science."

“Rather punch him in the face than science him,” the copter grumbled. Barricade knew he hated being presumed to be stupid.

Barricade smirked at Soundwave. He hated being this wordy but grinding Soundwave’s flat, ugly, mandibled face in it was something he just couldn’t resist. And he’d been so well-behaved this entire excursion. Well, well-behaved, for him.

“As would we all, I suspect. But you know this science, Blackout. It’s all about leverage. You see,” he elbowed himself off the wall, “why exert yourself holding down the big strong one with your whole body, when you could use your pinky finger and hold down the weak one?” Barricade’s eyes flashed white.

Rumble collapsed.

*****
“We do not seem to have made any progress,” Nadya said. She was beginning to get impatient. And her knees were hurting her from crawling on the metal plates.

“If we’re moving, it’s progress,” Stokes said, blithely.

“How do we know we’re not traveling in a circle?”

“Because that would be a complete cliché. The Stokes-man has made a career of avoiding clichés.”

Nadya began wondering if perhaps hypoxia had affected his brain. “Still,” she said, reasonably, “we should have made some notable progress by now.”

“Jeez! You sound just like my mother. ‘Are we there yet?’ ‘Where are we?’ You think by now she’d know how far it is to the mall and the grocery store!”

“You drive your mother to the grocery store?”

“Hey, don’t judge me!”

“I was merely wondering if this was American custom.”

“Yeah right.” They crawled on for a few minutes in silence. “Okay, fine,” he said, as if they’d been arguing. “Next vent we see, we slip over and take a look.”


****
“Prime don’t try to sit up just yet. I’m still working on your helm.”

“What? What happened?”

Ratchet huffed quieter than usual. “Prowl happened, well to be more accurate Soundwave happened, through Prowl.”

Optimus winced as Ratchet helped him into a sitting position, leaning him back against the console as he moved to help Prowl who was gripping onto his head like it was about to fall off.

“What did Prowl have to do with it?” Optimus frowned at his medic.

“I… incapacitated you.” Prowl rasped, wincing as Ratchet attached a small tool to his helm.

“Why?”

“No choice… nano virus, sorry Prime.”

“What are you apologizing for you glitch? It wasn’t your Primus damned fault!” Ratchet growled resisting the urge to throw something heavy at the accursed ‘cons on his ship.

Blinking and rubbing his head gingerly Optimus struggled to shake off the weight that had settled on his cortex from the hack. “It’s alright Prowl, Ratchet’s right, not your fault.” Optimus really couldn’t think of a more leader like response and turned his attentions to the surreal scene on his bridge.

Blackout stood next to Soundwave who looked distinctly more perturbed than usual. Rumble was on the floor twitching and Barricade was… well what he saw could only be described as something plucked from a human’s horror movie. His optics were white, his expression bland, eerie. Optimus frowned his optics glancing between him and Rumble and it clicked. He’d heard about Meta controllers back on Cybertron in the early stages of the war, he had never thought that Barricade could be one. Then again he never thought he’d see the ‘cons turning against each other to defend them either or them working together on this Primus forsaken moon.

Ratchet finally managed to get Prowl stabilized and flushed the majority of the nano virus from his cortex. “You’re still going to get remnants of bad code from the virus. If you feel anything odd, a glitch anything report it to me immediately.”

Prowl nodded absently as Ratchet helped him sit up.

“Don’t just nod at me and pretend you’re listening, Prowl. SIC duties or not, I want to know the second anything feels remotely wrong. Got it?”

Prowl blinked at Ratchet after warily on lining his optics. “I understand completely, Ratchet; I am not a sparkling.”

Ratchet grumbled under his intakes. “For how difficult you make my job, you might as well be.”

The three Autobots fell silent as Starscream stopped at the doorway of the bridge, a vague look of amusement as he took stock of the situation before strolling confidently onto the bridge.


*****
“Well,” Starscream said, “This scenario certainly looks…interesting.” His one optic glowed red, though the lens was cracked. The other was covered in stabilizing foam.

“Oh,” Barricade muttered, distractedly, keeping his eyes focused on Rumble, “celebration. Starscream is here with his keen battle analysis.”

“Hey, Starscream,” Blackout said, still shaking his arms loose from where they had tightened gripping Soundwave, “Nice eye patch.”

Barricade risked a glimpse. Rumble had time to shift his shoulders back to swing, before Barricade caught him up in his control again. “Why do I feel like I should be saying ‘matey’ to you, now?” Barricade asked. Just to teach Rumble some manners, he had him punch himself in the face.

“Ratchet said this was the best he could improvise with the damaged medical supplies. I think I look rather…dashing.”

“More like...piratical.” Blackout considered. “Yarrrrr.”

“MIGHT I remind you,” Ratchet groused, “Sort of a hostile situation on the bridge here?”

“Only one being hostile is you.” Barricade had Rumble flip Ratchet an obscene gesture. Oh, this was almost too fun. Made better, of course, by Soundwave’s white fury. Well, that was the problem when you had Achilles heels that tended to wander off and get themselves in trouble.

Ratchet snarled in frustration. Sideswipe, who had been anxiously swinging his blades, trying to cover Ratchet while he worked on Prowl and Optimus against ALL of the ‘cons, added, “Kinda got a point there, Ratch.”

“So,” Blackout said, “What do we do?”

“We see what is salvageable: If not the ship, then perhaps they have some rescue pods. Something here can get one of us to summon help.”

“Why don’t you?” Sideswipe said, feeling a little ruffled. It felt somehow like the ‘con was blaming him for the condition of the ship. It wasn’t his damn virus! “You can fly!”

“Ah, yes, unfortunately, some of the higher level repairs were” he coughed, delicately, “above Ratchet’s skillset.” Ratchet fumed. Starscream continued, blandly, “My optic functions but only as input a/v. My astrogation and other flight-essential visual overlays are offline.”

“So, you can’t fly.”

“I can. Just…not interplanetary at the moment.” Starscream sounded stung. “If it comes to that, I shall try. Which is certainly more than any of you have to offer.”

Optimus looked at his mechs and nodded. “It’s a sensible plan.” He rubbed the plates of his nose bridge and sighed. "However, the question remains who do we send to get help?"

"I think we can all agree that it wouldn't be in any of our best interests to send Soundwave." Ratchet added with a glare at the satellite 'con.

"I vote we send Blackout." Barricade piped up, still focused on Rumble.

"What? Why me?"

"You're the one always eager to help. So, now you get your chance you complain?" Barricade huffed. "No pleasing some people."

"I do concur with this assessment." Starscream spoke up ignoring the 'copter's gaping stare. "You are the least abrasive choice of the mechs we have at hand to represent our interests."

Ratchet snorted in disagreement. “What about Prowl? He's the least aggressive mech here."

"Where that maybe true, he is not a Decepticon and as our remote platfore is closer it is only logical to gather help from there before your precious pet humans run out of oxygen."

Ratchet had no argument there and pursed his lips in reluctant agreement. Optimus glanced at his second. "What do you think Prowl?"

"Blackout is the most logical choice." Prowl stated simply, his optics dim in thought. "And I am in no condition to currently be sent anywhere."

"Oh now the mech acknowledges he has limitations." Ratchet huffed with a roll of his optics.

"Blackout it is then." Optimus agreed upon the reassurance of his SIC.

"No way I'm not being squashed into one of those pods. Do you even know what confined spaces do to my rotors?" Blackout grumbled.

Sideswipe protested, “We gonna let ‘cons come in our own ship and tell us what to do?”

“We gonna let cons come in our own ship and tell us what to do?” Rumble’s voice echoed. Barricade snickered.

“Coooooooool,” Blackout said, “Now make him do Megatron!”

Soundwave snarled in fury, “Barricade, you will suffer for this.”

“Ooooooh,” Barricade said, “Think Soundwave beat me to it. However, I don’t think Soundwave, OR Megatron; can pull off…the Macarena!” Soundwave howled in protest as Rumble found himself forced through the absolutely humiliating steps of the dance. “Huh,” Barricade said after a moment. “Need to work on those pelvic circles there, buddy.”

“Maybe the music would help,” Blackout said, helpfully.

Starscream sighed, “I see that once again you live up to your reputation of prisoner-abuse, Barricade.”

“Abuse!? He was getting vital cardiovascular activity! And we know you can see now so stop using the verb in every fraggin’ sentence.”

“Is this what it was like for you?” Ratchet whispered to Prowl, who was still, blearily, clutching his processor. Prowl nodded. “Surprised you only glitched the once, then.”

“We know,” Blackout said, “Soundwave intended to blow up the ship or something, right? And then he attacked Octopus here. What for?”

“Probably access codes,” Barricade said. He was getting bored with Rumble. And even he admitted that a bored Barricade was a bad idea. “Why he’d want those, and why he’s even here when our mission was a simply S&D, beyond me.”

“I was acting on orders,” Soundwave said, stiffly.

“Yeah? Have the feeling you went a little…beyond the orders with the tentacle act.”

Soundwave glowered, subsiding into stubborn silence.

"Wait just a Primus damned minute here!" Sideswipe swung round to his leader, his blades still drawn. "Are we really going to let the fraggin' cons dictate things around here Prime?"

"Watch your tone, Sideswipe." Prowl warned eyeing the fidgeting silver mech shifting agitatedly on his wheels.

"I'm sorry but if we let them get help we'll be outnumbered and they will take the ship from under us and more than likely strand us on this moon." He glared at each of the 'cons in turn, he didn't care what had happened on the surface as far as he was concerned they were still the enemy and none of them had done him any favours.

Blackout scoffed. "What, and you won't?"

"No!" Sideswipe retorted.

"What? You think you think any differently from us, freakyfeet?" Barricade chirped up, his concentration still on Rumble.

"I wouldn't try to blow you out of the sky when you're trying to help us or plant viruses in the very ship we all need to get off this rock!"

"In case you hadn't noticed Autobot, we are still helping you." A low growl rumbled from Starscream's chassis his working optic returning Sideswipe's glare.

"Cool it, Sides; Starscream has a point." Ratchet interrupted quietly as he got to his feet.

"You're defending them now?"

//Defending them against what? They haven't done anything except help save Prime.// Bumblebee's head inclined with a frown at Sideswipe. He quite liked the 'copter who had helped when he could have helped Soundwave finish the job.

"Sideswipe, you weren't down on the surface. And despite their misgivings with us," Optimus glanced at Starscream who watched him with a calculating optic. "they did work with us willingly."

"But Prime?!"

"Let him finish." Prowl commanded softly. "We have no other logical choice but to trust each other." Prowl remained seated on the floor, attempting to gather his thoughts through the increasing processor ache.

Optimus took a step forward after being helped to his feet by Bumblebee. "I agree with Prowl, we need to work together." He narrowed his piercing optics at Starscream. "But let me make one thing perfectly clear: this is our ship and I do not want to have to fight for supremacy here."

“Well,” Starscream said, “Fine. It is your ship, I suppose. Presuming we can trust you not to abandon us or slag us, simply on reputation of your…sterling nature, what would you have us do, Optimus Prime?”

A/N: Ok I suck more than I sucky thing that sucks... I started a new job and so have let things slide. Getting back on top of things now though. Very nice long update for you.

****

Nadya was now entirely sick of being in the ventilation shafts. Her back hurt, her knees were aching and their space suits as cumbersome as they were, were just not made for crawling around in. It was hot, sticky hot, and her oxygen meter read low. She tried to ignore the red flashing light on her wrist where the LCD readouts were attached: she'd already calculated they had a couple of hours at best, but at the rate they were using it up perhaps not even that much.

She glanced up to see Stokes's backside disappear around a corner. "Stokes, hey wait up will you?" She shuffled along faster. "Stokes?!" She hissed when she turned the corner and found the vent shaft empty. Cursing under her breath she continued on. Stokes had been quiet, too quiet for a short while now. He was never quiet unless he was concentrating on his research or he was wrong and didn't want to admit it. Despite his frat boy attitude he had a knack for coming through in a crunch. Nadya sincerely hoped this was one of those times, a quiet Stokes was just unnerving.

"Phillippe Stokes, what the hell are you playing at?" She glared at his silver suit shimmering in the light cast through a vent. He frowned at the use of his full name she only ever used it when she was either teasing him or was pissed. From the dark look on her face he was going to go with pissed, something to deal with later no doubt. He grabbed her suit sleeve and pulled her close putting his finger to his visor to stop her talking.

Nadya was about to protest loudly when he pointed through the vent onto the scene below them. Stifling a gasp Nadya stretched out, lying flat against the cold metal leaning as close as she could to the narrow gaps. Stokes lay beside her and opened their internal suit comm.

"Looks a little tense in there- you think we should do something?"

Nadya shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see the gesture. "What exactly do you suggest?" She couldn't keep the sarcasm from her voice. "Giant alien robots vs the humans? Sounds like a bad American B movie."

"Hey I'll have you know we make some good bad films. There was this one film based in space right and the monster was a--"

"Not the time, Stokes." Nadya interrupted.

Both humans froze as a deep voice vibrated through the shaft.

"That's Optimus." Stokes stated.

Nadya rolled her eyes. "Great. Do you want a cookie?"

"I was just..."

"Shush: trying to listen." She glared intently at the vent just in time to catch Ratchet's typically gruff tirade describing the ship's current dilapidated condition.

"In short, Prime," Ratchet was saying, "while I can fix most of the outer plating, especially with extra hands, without the Catalyser the engine won't turn. Engine doesn't turn we don't fly."

Optimus moved into view of the humans watching above. Stokes whistled silently at the damage he appeared to have suffered since they last saw him.

"Could you get one, Blackout?"

"What? A catafratalizer-thingie? Yeah I'll just stroll into the base and demand Hook remove one from our ship." The copter shifted uncomfortably.

"So, your side can't really help," Ratchet said, arms folded over his chest.

"Just that, well, they're not just going to hand it over. Someone's gonna ask some questions."

"Bring Hook back with you." Starscream spoke as if this were the most reasonable thing in the world. Blackout wondered if the hit to his optics had shaken something in his cortex: Hook wasn't exactly a terrific traveling companion.

Blackout, along with the rest of the bridge turned to stare at Starscream. "Have you finally snapped, Starscream?" Sideswipe growled. "You think we're dumb enough to let a constructicon on board and frag up the systems for you so you can slag us all in the back and take everything you want?"

"It will not damage the ship any more than you and Soundwave have already managed." Starscream replied with a bland smile as Sideswipe once again glowered at the accusation.

"I like to see any of you glitches land a fragged ship any better." Sideswipe lifted his blades defensively, daring any of them to argue with him.

"Now who's being hostile?" Sideswipe jumped as Prowl rested a firm hand on his arm coming to stand between him and the 'cons. Sideswipe glared at his SIC whom he hadn't even heard move.

"We can't just let them take over, Prowl." Sideswipe hissed.

Optimus interrupted. "Sideswipe, you need to put your grievances aside for the moment. You are not helping the situation."

Bumblebee bleeped in agreement with his Prime earning a cold glare from a highly agitated Sideswipe. Optimus turned back to Ratchet. "What do you need us to do?"

"Well, first thing that needs repairing is the outer hull. We have breaches all over and without that we can't create atmosphere. Which means the humans will suffocate."

"Oh wouldn't that be a shame," Barricade muttered.

"We need to get back up computer running: the planetary thrusters are computer controlled."

Ratchet frowned at Prowl. "What the frag are you talking about?"

Prowl's tone had returned to his unflappable calm. "We need to utilise the thrusters to get ourselves out of the side of this mountain. If you repair the hull before then the movement will shred the new plating."

Ratchet raised his brow in surprise. "Ok, brownie points for you." He grumbled, ignoring the quizzical quirk of Prowl's supraorbital ridge.

"How long will that take you, Prowl?" Optimus glanced at his second.

"The back ups weren't damaged by the nano virus but I will have to access them directly via the mainframe in the engine room. I estimate around one Earth cycle."

*****

Nadya felt her last shred of hope smash against the rocky despair of Prowl's words, she understood enough of the lingo to know a cycle was roughly one hour. That only gave them around one hour of breathable oxygen. She closed her eyes for a moment quashing the rising panic. She was trained to deal with this: keep calm, think clearly and most importantly don't panic, it only used up more oxygen. She felt a sharp tug on her arm.

"Look." Stokes whispered. She followed his gaze back through the vent the large red visored mech was shifting, subtly. They hadn't seen him before, but they were pretty sure he wasn't playing for the Freedom Team. His movements had gone unnoticed by the rest of the bridge. Ratchet was currently recruiting Sideswipe and Blackout's help to fit the plating where he was unable to reach, Bumblebee was covering Ravage avoiding the swishing barbs of the angry cat's tail, while Prowl, Starscream and Optimus were engaged in quiet discussion.

Not one of them had noticed Soundwave approaching a distracted Barricade who was still toying with Rumble, muttering to himself about pointless drones and liabilities. Barricade didn't stand a chance when Soundwave made his move. His panels flared out his reflective surfaces sending the glare of the artificial lighting shielding him from view. Rumble dropped to the floor with a choke and scrabbled back to hide behind one of Ravage's legs. Barricade let out a howl as Soundwave tried to hack into his cortex by prying off his helm plating. Blackout and Bumblebee rushed to help but were immediately attacked by the cassetticons. The bridge erupted into chaos.

The two humans watched open mouthed as Starscream and Prowl dragged a snarling, furious Soundwave off a twitching Barricade. Sideswipe went to slice through the tendrils snaking out from the larger mech's frame only to be stopped by Starscream grabbing his wrist.

"He will create a feedback loop more quickly than you can cut through them all, and simply fry Barricade's cortex."

Sideswipe looked horrified. "Slagger."

"Now you will suffer the fate you inflicted on so many others." Soundwave had gained control of Barricade's motor functions. Barricade's spokes came flying out, lashing into a nearby Starscream who hissed in pain before Ratchet dragged him out of danger, energon spurting from a wound in his thigh.

Barricade's optics were desperate, pleading.

"We've got to do something!" Nadya whispered urgently.

"I'm all ears."

Nadya shifted in the cramped space and started kicking at the vent. "You remember when Barricade opened up Dead End's head in the cave?"

"Yeah..."

"Think you can do it?"

Stokes frowned. "I think so..." A grin spread across face. "The bomb in the head. Such a cool idea. Man, I want one."

Nadya flashed him a desperate look. "Little help here, genius."

They kicked hard and the vent creaked loudly, metal shrieked and whined. The humans lurched as the vent jolted. Staring at each other they grabbed hold of each other's arms. The vent gave way with a crack. "Oh shit!" Stokes hollered not expecting the drop they were faced with. They plunged into the bridge, sending the other mechs staggering back in surprise. The heavy vent landed with a crunch onto Soundwave's helm. He dropped to his knees, his concentration broken.

"Now, Stokes!" Nadya yelled.

The astronaut scrabbled over the jagged helm and pried open the back of Soundwave's helm with the crow bar he'd kept strapped to his back pack. Soundwave howled as the determined human jammed the sharp edge of the crowbar into the node directly above where he'd seen Barricade attach the link into Prowl's head and where he'd deactivated Dead End's internal bomb.

"Now I suggest you put a stop to this squid look you got going on. It ain't fun and it ain't a pretty look for you."

Soundwave growled and withdrew the tendrils from Barricade's head, reaching up instead to swipe at the human.

"Nuh - unh." Stokes dug in the crow bar and wrenched it hard. Soundwave screamed and fell on all fours. The cassetticons howled as they felt the pain through their connection. "I think we've had just about enough of you." He lifted the crow bar and smashed the node in a crackle of sparks and Soundwave fell unconscious.

Stokes got to his feet looking rather smug. Every optic in the room was focused on the unlikely rescuers.

"So 'Cade." Stokes grinned and patted the thin slip of metal into his gloved palm. "What you say about me getting a closer look at your comm system now?"

Barricade glowered with embarrassed ire. Saved by a fraggin' human. Worse saved by what was probably the most annoying human who ever lived. "Try it and see what inventive things I can do with that crow bar."

"Now Barricade, that is hardly the way to respond to your saviours." Prowl quirked an optic ridge at him, clearly enjoying the reversed discomfort. "I believe the appropriate response is thank you." He added dryly the faintest of smirks pulling at his face plates, even Starscream let out a grunt of amusement.

Barricade just gave them his most loathsome glare. "Hate you all." //Sorry,// he subvoc'd to Starscream, who was wincing as Ratchet worked to seal the damaged hose. //Didn't mean to.//

//I know,//Starscream said. //Do not worry about apologies, Barricade. Though in the future, you might ruminate on the reason he chose to attack you and not one of these Autobots.//

Barricade frowned. //Gonna have to offline me again. Long as I was using the CC I was good. Now…// he hunched over, his frame shaking.

//I shall take care of it.//

"Seriously? Uncool." Blackout was squinting into the dark confines of the Autobot rescue pod. "Seen CR pods bigger than this."

"We have been through this, Blackout. We need someone to go. We do not know whom you shall run across and in an Autobot ship, the Autobots will hesitate to fire upon you."

"Your side, though," Sideswipe said, "Pretty likely to blow you on sight."

"That's not it," Blackout said. "Why can't Barricade go? He's smaller."

"Barricade," Starscream explained, as if straining against patience, "is abrasive. He would manage to irk even the Autobots into uncivilized behavior. Plus," he glanced down the corridor where the smaller 'con was kneeling in front of an open panel, the Autobot leader leaning over him, directing his smaller hands. As he watched, a small tremor ran through Barricade's frame. "he is indisposed and needs monitoring at the present time."

"Think he always needs monitoring," Ironhide grumbled. He moved stiffly on his bad leg, but his weapon's muzzle never drifted off Soundwave. He'd been dragged from the medbay to help. Fine with him: he hated lying there feeling useless. Now if only this slaggin' con would try something and give him an excuse to blow his processor out, this day would have at least one bright spot.

Blackout shifted uncomfortably. "Just gonna be…awfully tight in there. Don't know why you want to send the biggest mech, that's all."

"Your inability to grasp this simple concept is merely a reflection of your claustrophobia, Blackout," Starscream said. "Now, you know your mission. Be thankful that you are escaping the company of these odious Autobots and go."

Blackout grumbled, but began, gingerly, folding himself into the small pod. Bumblebee sidled over, his own cannon still pointed at the captives he was guarding along with Ironhide.

//Thanks for doing this,// Bee subvoc'd to the larger 'con. //I think you're very brave.//

"Really?" Blackout settled himself behind the small control panel. "Thanks a lot, Barbarella."

Barricade froze, then turned his head slowly toward the pod. "How did you know what the little yellow freak was thinking?" he asked, his voice tight.

Oh frag, Blackout thought. Busted. "Uhhhhnnn, I'm psychic. It's in my personnel file. Right, see you guys later, gotta go!" He hit the door release and the pod self-sealed for launch.

*****

"Don't touch that!"

Stokes peered over his shoulder at Prowl his hand reaching out once more to poke at the console switches in front of him. "What... this?" He asked innocently.

"Yes that." Prowl responded placing his hand in front of Stokes's curious fingers.

Prowl turned back to his panel, his other arm buried deep into the wiring of the console, his concentration focused on trying to reboot the back up computer.

"What does it do?" Stokes idly, brushed over another panel, his crow bar too close to the circuitry for Prowl's comfort.

"It is the central coolant panel; it regulates flow through the engine." His optics narrowed as he watched the human explore sensitive circuitry beneath the console. "Please don't touch that." He repeated.

Stokes fell silent for a few moments, while Prowl returned to his work. "Why what happens if it doesn't work?"

Prowl frowned at the break in his concentration once more. "The engine will explode." He stated blandly quirking an orbital ridge at Stokes who snapped his hand back sharply.

"Well thanks for the heads up." He muttered shooting Prowl a sullen glare.

"You were told not to touch anything." Prowl replied, wishing there was something he could distract the ever curious human with, something as far away from him as possible.

"Is there something we can be doing you know... to help?" Stokes continued trying very hard to peer into the paneling from beneath Prowl's arm.

"You could get out of the way."

Stokes glanced up at Prowl who looked down at him, unable to retract his arm while Stokes stood on his leg. "Alright, alright, no need to get your panties in a twist." Stokes leapt from Prowl's leg allowing the mech to retrieve his arm. "I mean it's not like we saved your asses from the big bad Decepticon or anything."

"While your actions were commendable if foolhardy, it isn't a prerequisite for tampering with our engines."

"Spoil all my fun why don't ya?" Stokes grumbled rolling his eyes at Nadya.

"We're not here to have fun." Prowl ignored Stokes's muttered retort. "Nadya may I have your assistance please?"

"Me? What do you need me for?"

"The wiring inside the panel is too far for me to reach, you have shown a great deal of competence in repairing our systems and you are sufficiently small enough to fit inside without being injured."

"Now that's just sexist, I am just as competent!" Stokes managed to pout as Nadya gently pushed him aside and climbed onto Prowl's hand.

"It is not sexist Lieutenant Stokes, she is the smallest and so is the most logical choice."

"Oh yeah? Well if you're not sexist, why do you call her by her first name?" Stokes folded his arms and quirked a smirk up at the Autobot SIC.

Prowl tipped his head back and vented a heavy sigh. "How is that relevant?"

"Just sayin' you know. You use her first name but not mine, respond to me with my rank and surname... kinda sexist and more than a little impersonal." Stokes couldn't help but grin at the confused expression on Prowl's face, before Nadya interrupted his enjoyment by peering over Prowl's hand and glaring at him.

"That might have something to do with the fact you introduce yourself to everyone as 'Stokes' and told them if they used your first name you'd demonstrate number 56 of 101 things to do with a crowbar."

"Hey, whose side are you on?!"

"The side that's actually trying to fix the damn ship BEFORE we run out of air!" Nadya turned back to Prowl who managed at least not to look too smug at Stokes's sullen glare. "Can we get this done please? Before you find anymore tight spaces for me to crawl into?"

Prowl helped her into the small opening of the panel, using his headlights to give her visibility. He waited patiently, his brow furrowed with concern when a scraping sound reached his audios followed by soft Russian cursing. "Are you alright Nadya, are you injured?"

"Give me a damn minute will you?" came her muffled reply.

"Better watch out Prowl." Stokes fidgeted beside the seated mech. "She bites, too."

"All right, I'm in! What do I do now?"

"There should be a bundle or wires directly in front of you."

"Yes, I can see it."

"It is connected to a circuit panel above you. It requires disconnecting from that and joining to the wires to the left of you."

"All right. Give me a few minutes: need to climb about a bit in here."

Prowl sat back, keeping his light directed at the small opening. Stokes sighed and plonked himself onto Prowl's leg to get his attention.

"So what do you do for fun ,Prowl?"

"I don't see how that is important."

Stokes snorted, the answer was so typically Prowl. "Humour me... if you're capable of it."

"I enjoy problem solving, logic puzzles, tactical games."

"Huh. That is actually cooler than I expected." Stokes raised his brow in excitement. "Hey, do you play chess?"

"Chess?"

"Yeah-human game, tactics, lot of patience."

Prowl paused his optics dimmed as he searched the reference through his data banks. "Ah, no. I have never played. It does appear intriguing."

"Bet you're just a giant super computer aren't you? No flaws, rigid, predictable moves?" Stokes goaded cheerfully.

"I am not devoid of emotion Lieutenant, nor am I flawless with my tactics."

Stokes grinned, Prowl almost, ALMOST seemed insulted. "All right. I'll play you a game when we get back."

"I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"Why because I'm human, you think I can't beat you?" He folded his arms in indignation.

"I didn't say that."

"But you think it?"

"No!"

"Then play me!"

Nadya poked her head out of the panel before Prowl could respond. "Have you boys quite finished?" She climbed back onto Prowl's offered hand and smiled. "It's done. Give it a kick."

Prowl placed her on the floor and stood. He pressed a few commands into the console and was rewarded with a low rumbling throughout the engine room.

//Prowl to Prime. The thrusters are operational. I will re-route power to the bridge console.//

//Acknowledged, Prowl. Good work.//

//It was thanks to the humans, Sir. Prowl out.//

Stokes was practically bouncing in his suit. "That's good then, we're going home?"

Prowl hesitated, not wanting to pass along false hope. "With any luck Blackout will return with the necessary component and we will be able to return to Earth." He cast them a tiny smile as Stokes engulfed Nadya in a surprising hug.

"Great! I'll be beating you at chess before you know it." Stokes grinned while Nadya simply shook her head in bemusement; there was just no end to the man's positivism.

"So what now... we get to... to... fly the... oh crap..."

Prowl frowned crouching before Stokes as he slumped to his knees. The human peered through his helmet visor, eyes wide and fearful. "I can't breathe."

As if on cue Nadya mumbled incoherently before falling to the floor. Prowl turned back to the console and swiftly input a command. In one swift motion he gathered up the two astronauts and sprinted from the engine room. Reaching the med bay he skidded to a halt, placing the humans into a chamber, he began to work on the adjacent console.

Ironhide spun startled, straining his leg, his cannon whirring at the intrusion. "Primus, Prowl! I almost blew you back to Cybertron!"

Prowl ignored his grumbling and headed to a nearby berth. Bumblebee and Ironhide glanced at each other, worry etched on the yellow mech's face. They had to guard Soundwave and his Cassetticons . They were in the dark as to Prowl's urgency.

"What... you doing?" Stokes tried to reach out, his voice faint, strained.

"Putting you both into stasis; it's the only way to keep you alive." Prowl glanced worriedly over the humans' vitals, frowning when Stokes grabbed his hand.

"Have a game with... me... when we get back...please?"

Prowl frowned at the completely illogical request. "I can compute 800 different courses of action on a battle field in less than a second, I don't think it would be a…."

Stokes managed a short laugh. "Something...to look forward to...."

Prowl ceased his protest and gave Stokes a quick nod in affirmation. "When we return." He closed the chamber as Stokes threw him a grateful grin. Activating the stasis pod the two humans fell into a comatose but alive state, their vitals clearly displayed on the screen.

//Prowl to Ratchet.//

//Kinda busy here, Prowl. With repairs, demented Decepticons, and Sideswipe.//

//The humans have almost run out of oxygen. I have placed them into a stasis chamber in the med bay. How long can we keep it running on minimal power?//

//Slag... couple of cycles maybe more if we divert power from non essential systems.//

//Thank you, I'll inform Prime.//

Prowl took one last look over the humans in stasis and turned back to Ironhide. "Have they been any trouble?"

Ironhide shrugged. "Sleeping Beauty over there just woke up, others are too scared of getting slagged if they so much as twitch. I got it covered, Prowl. What was that all about?"

Prowl remained impassive, activating his internal comm. //Humans have almost run out of Oxygen. Please ensure that Soundwave or the others don't learn of their vulnerability. Keep them away from the stasis pods, I have no doubt that he will not hesitate to kill them.//

Ironhide gave him a terse nod, both his cannons armed and pointed at the 'cons. Bumblebee glanced fretfully between them, his optics wide. He liked the humans and always felt more concern than most when they were at risk. Prowl noticed his restlessness and placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance before turning on his heel and heading for the bridge. He could only hope that Blackout came through for them.

***

Starscream tried to make a reasonable excuse why he should stay near Barricade without making it too obvious. He suspected Prowl had figured it out from last time, but had, after one last sidelong glance, gone with the humans to the engine room to repair the thrusters. But in the end, he was needed outside to hold up newly fabricated external plating for the ship. Which, if you asked him, was a complete underutilization of his skills, but then again, what else did one expect from these hateful Autobots? And perhaps, he had decided, it was good not to have them know his true potential.

"Right," Sideswipe said. "Now, just hold it steady…. Just like that."

"You do not need to give me instructions on how to hold a piece of metal immobile," Starscream snapped. "Unlike you Autobots, we Decepticons have basic skills."

"Oh yeah," Sideswipe retorted, "Basic skills like what? How to kill each other in your sleep?"

"We have much more entertaining things that we do when we catch others in recharge," Starscream smirked.

"Oh, gross."

"I suppose you tedious Autobots simply sit around and tell each other how impossibly virtuous you all are, especially your Prime."

"You leave Prime alone, you filthy 'con!" Sideswipe threw down his riveter. It bounced off the hull of the ship and off into the low gravity.

"Oh, too close to home, Autobot?" Starscream said. Sideswipe shot him an angry look and scrambled off the hull to retrieve the tool. "And it appears you Autobots do need basic instructions. That is not how one uses that tool."

"Things would go a lot more smoothly," Ratchet snapped back, "If you'd both shut up and do your jobs."

"He started it," Starscream muttered. Ratchet made him uncomfortable. He hit his subvoc. //Barricade?//

//What?// Barricade sounded…annoyed.

Starscream hesitated. //Are you well?//

//Oh just fantastic. Stuck on the bridge with the Autobot Idol. I am truly unworthy of his perfection.//

//You are unworthy of me as well, but that has never stopped you,// the jet teased.

//Ha ha.//

Starscream frowned, but he didn't want to push Barricade. Not yet. Barricade would tell him if his symptoms were getting worse. //How go repairs?//

//WhatEVER.//

That…did not sound good. Was this Barricade melting down again? Starscream looked down, trying to conjure an excuse to go back into the ship. //Barricade?//

//Hey, jet, you gonna tell me about the copter?//

//What about Blackout?//

//Know that coy act doesn't work with me, right?//

Starscream sighed. //I am merely inquiring what precisely you wish to know.// He shifted to one side as Sideswipe climbed up alongside him. Sideswipe glared at him, as if daring him to start something. Starscream shrugged. And noted that even his refusal to engage with the Autobot irked him.

//Want to know how he knew what Soundwave was up to?//

//I do not think that he does. He simply saw an opportune moment and inferred that Soundwave did not have our interests--or survival--at heart.//

//You make him almost sound like a Decepticon.//

//Do not underestimate Blackout simply because he chooses to be more personable than you.// Starscream winced as Sideswipe lost his grip on the riveter, driving it, accidentally, into the jet's hand. If Starscream hadn't been so preoccupied, he would have slapped the Autobot. Sideswipe looked up, muttered an apology, and bent back over the panel.

//You know what I mean--he was helping the enemy.//

//He was helping us get off this blasted moon. Aiding them until that goal is achieved is the only logical choice.//

//Slag. We could have worked around Soundwave ourselves after he did…whatever he did.//

Starscream heard his own shoulder gyros release some tension. Barricade sounded…sane. For the moment. He only had the mech's abrasive nature to deal with. And Sideswipe. //You sound confident that Soundwave's plan did not liquidate us.//

//Just asking--the copter's too innocent to think like that.//

Barricade had a point. //You suspect he was called there by an Autobot.//

//It's a possibility.//

//Barricade,// Starscream went for a clumsy deflection. //Say that were true--why did you help him?//

A long pause. //Not Soundwave's biggest fan.//

//He was attacking Prowl. You saved Prowl.//

A groan. //Shut it.//

//If that was not your motive,// the jet said, //then you were motivated either by friendliness to Blackout// another groan, as if in physical pain, //or you too decided to help the Autobots.//

//I-uhhhhh, decided that he would be less likely to face charges of treason if I did it with him.//

//Why, Barricade, how very noble of you.//

//Seriously? Why you doing this to me? Not bad enough I'm stuck here holding motherboards for Primetime here?//

//It behooves me to have the mechs under my command to be amiable with each other. The better you get along with Blackout, the more smoothly my life runs.//

Another long pause. //How you think he's doing?//

Starscream's turn to hesitate.

Barricade grunted. //That bad, huh?//

Optimus worked quietly at the main bridge console, he had sat down in an attempt to prevent further injury and not to frag up Ratchet's temporary patchwork. He cast a sidelong glance at his unlikely companion. Barricade appeared outwardly calm, controlled, which was odd in itself. Gone was his notable snark and distinctive sneer, he merely responded when Optimus instructed him to adjust the computer controls and occasionally he would twitch, glance around the room suspiciously before forcing him to stare blankly at the console.

Prowl had given him a quiet heads-up on Barricade's (what he could only call a) condition. He had confirmed Prime's own suspicions that Barricade had indeed been a combat controller. He dreaded to think how many mechs had been under his direct control. He was uncomfortably aware that Ironhide had been one of those of mechs. Something he put aside for a later discussion with his weapons specialist. Right now, Optimus felt himself pretty much clueless in how to handle this unexpected situation.

"Taking a picture will last longer." Barricade muttered, his optics never leaving the console.

Optimus shifted uncomfortably, he hadn't even realized he'd been staring. "I was wondering, as you seem rather... uncomfortable after what happened with Soundwave and Rumble. Ummm..."

'Be nice, tactful, best not to rile him while he seems to be on your side.'

"What does it do to you, when you have to take control of another mech? I mean is it painful for you... for them?"

"Why? You looking for a change of career?"

Well at least his abrasive sense of humour was intact, Optimus thought dryly. "No. Just you know, if you're in any discomfort... I can get Ratchet to..."

"Save it Autobot." Barricade growled. "Don't want or need your charity." His optics narrowed. None of your business, Autoboob.

Optimus turned back to his console, deflated. 'Outstanding, alienated with one sentence. And not even a coherent one at that. Excellent.' Optimus rolled his optics at his own inability to approach such a personal topic. He was rarely caught in such instances where it was necessary. It wasn't that he was an unapproachable leader just that the title alone gave him a certain distance. His mechs would never trouble him with personal issues, they would consider it the height of disrespect due to stellar cycles of ingrained programming spanning from before the war, back to a time when Cybertron was a class dominated civilization.

"It doesn't hurt."

Optimus was surprised at the interruption. He glanced at Barricade who was scowling, probably regretting even sharing that tiny bit of information.

"Can be painful for the mech being controlled, especially if they resist or are hacked. Like what Solar panels kindly did to me, Prowl oh and you." Barricade met Optimus's gaze and sneered. "Doesn't make you a resident expert, so don't plan on writing your autobiography. Ironhide's got you way beat on that."

Optimus's optics widened, he REALLY wasn't used to that brand of cutting sarcasm. Deciding the best tactic was to ignore it, he changed the subject. "Well I am sure you're glad the humans dropped in when they did then." He said innocently, oblivious to the dark look crossing Barricade's features.

"Ecstatic." Barricade muttered his scowl deepening. His optics snapped up to Prime as his comm. buzzed.

Out of courtesy Optimus activated the speaker on his comm. Prowl's voice came through clear and direct. Barricade cursed inwardly upon hearing that the humans had proven useful yet again. There was just no end to his humiliation; did they have to keep rubbing his face in it?

"'Bout time the fleshlings made themselves more useful than fashion accessories."

Optimus raised an orbital ridge at him in vague amusement. "They did save you from Soundwave, Barricade."

"What? Do they want a fraggin' medal? Had it covered." He turned back to his console, inputting the commands to bypass the incessant firewalls as Optimus had instructed. "Right where I wanted him," he muttered ignoring Prime's bemused gaze.

The console flashed and the bridge suddenly lit up in an array of bleeps and lights. The cracked forward viewer blinked and the mountain wall came into focus, blurry but visible all the same. Optimus turned to him his optics narrowed with a hidden smile.

"How's your piloting?" Optimus asked, his smirk widening at Barricade's surprise.

Blackout hated to admit he hated small spaces. He wasn't really very fond of hating anything. That was more of a Bonecrusher thing, really. Between Bonecrusher and Brawl, the hating thing was pretty well covered. But he wasn't very cool in the small confines of the Autobot pod. It didn't help that the Autobots put everything in different places. He ran through the list of items he might have to find real fast several times: hailing freqs, defense shields, booster jets, attitudinal adjusters. And hoped that was good enough.

He was picking his way through an asteroid field, trying to concentrate on dodging the larger pieces, more worried than he wanted to admit that one of the chunks of stone would damage his comm array, leaving him more or less commless. Which would suck no matter who he ran into first.

He wasn't fond of the idea of running into Autobots much more than he was of making it back to the orbital platform. But he had to do this right or else Barricade would…slaughter him.

Blackout didn't like that he was chosen, even though he got along with just about everyone. He kept checking the farscans for any contact, hoping he'd get just enough notice to prepare himself.

"Wow," a voice cut over the ship's hailing comm. "Aren't you a lost little 'bot?"

"Thundercracker?" The proximity alarms fired, the large jet appearing from behind an asteroid.

"Blackout?" A pause. "I probably don't want to know why you're in an Autobot pod, do I?"

"Don't really want to talk about it."

"My idiot trinemate in trouble?"

Uhhhhh. "Kind of."

"Hunh. Kind of. And you're here in a pod. Heading back to the station. You bailing on him?" Thundercracker's voice got sharp, and the pod registered a target lock.

"No! He sent me to get help. We're stuck on a fragging moon."

"We?"

"Starscream and Barricade. Soundwave too." Well, he'd find out sooner or later.

"I take it that S&D went horribly awry."

Blackout grimaced, even though he knew the jet couldn't see him. "You have no idea."

"Been there." The blue jet appeared on his view screen, shifting to his robot mode to hover. "What help do you need?"

"Some catalyzer thingie for the Autobot ship." Blackout relaxed a bit.

"Starscream…can't fly?"

"Damaged. He, uhhh, lost an eye too." He hesitated. "And we gotta cooperate with Autobots, too."

"Frag, that really redefines 'horribly awry'." Thundercracker grinned. "Right. You want a catalyzer. We can do that."

"And…uh, someone who might be able to jerryrig Autobot tech to install it."

"Hook'd be best, but…slag. He's a pain to work with." The blue jet turned. "Follow my vector in: we'll get you in undiscovered."

Blackout boosted the weak thrusters on the pod to follow Thundercracker. Maybe this wouldn't be that hard.

"Why is Hook a pain?" He'd heard so much bad about all of his fellow 'cons that he consciously ignored all of it. Still, if this was going to be a problem, he should know. Barricade would probably not only know, but have a great strategy to get around Hook's issues. He missed Barricade. And hoped he was okay. "Uh, he gonna rat us out to Megatron?"

Thundercracker snorted over comm. "Not likely. Problem with Hook is 'jerryrig' isn't in his vocabulary as anything other than an ultimate cuss word. He'll fix the damn thing forever."

"Oh." Frag, Blackout really didn't want to be stuck on that moon much longer. Barricade was looking…squirrelly when he left and Starscream…well, he must be about crazy from the strain of being surrounded by so many Autobots and not able to slap any of them. Not that Blackout thought himself a stellar example of cooperation. The Autobots creeped him out, hard. That medic, no way. The one that Barricade said had freaked because they were flirting with him? Weird. Ironhide was one big mess of unstable. The only 'bot he almost tolerated was Bingbangboom. "Think we should get him?"

"He's the best. The rest of that stuff, we can sort out later." A hum over the comm line as Thundercracker kicked on his reverse thrusters to shed speed, coming in for a light landing to the open hangar. Blackout did a less elegant job of it with the alien controls of the pod, which ended up skidding against the deck flooring, tearing up some plating, and coming to rest, finally, against the far bulkhead. Blackout crawled out of the pod, turning to give it one last kick, his capacitor racing. Fragging thing! From now on, copter did his own flying.

Starscream and Sideswipe were ushered from the hull plating by Ratchet, who looked angrier than usual. He muttered under his breath, leading them some distance away before turning and staring back at the ship. Starscream stole a glance at Sideswipe who caught his optic and shrugged looking as confused as he was.

"We're ready now, in position. You're clear for maneuvers." Ratchet suddenly spoke out loud, startling them both. "Primus help us having a 'con at the helm."

Starscream's one functioning optic stared at Ratchet. "Barricade is piloting the ship?"

"It looks that way yeah."

Considering Barricade's current potentially unstable condition this did not fill him with a sense of comfort. //Barricade, how is the situation?//

//Can't really talk, playing chauffeur and got Prowl whispering sweet nothings in my audio.//

//While I am sure that is only appealing for you, why are you piloting the ship?//

//Prime time is too focused on getting the main computer up and running. Prowl had only just decided to grace us with his insanely cheerful presence. He's navigating.//

//I see... are you...?//

//Can manage, jet. Don't need you joining the ranks of the skeptical right now. Already had to listen to cannons for brains tearing 'let's be friends' a new audio for asking me to take point.//

//Just keep it intact, I am certain you can do a better job than the inept Autobot that crashed it in the first place.//

//Brimming with fluffy warmth and love over here. Right got to fly, loverbot here is giving me the optic.//

Starscream smirked discreetly his comm falling silent. The three mechs watched as the small thrusters fired up. A low rumbling filled their audios and the ground began to shake as the ship slowly pulled away from the mountain side. Ratchet hissed and cursed as the screeching sounds of ripping metal scarred the air. The ship shuddered and trembled in the low g, debris, dust and hull plating spinning off into the almost non-existent atmosphere. With a loud scream of strained thrusters the Ark finally broke free and began to steer away from the mountain. Optics remained fixed on the ship, navigating its way slowly back along the path it had carved upon landing. It whined and hissed before slowly lowering to the uneven rocky ground. With a sudden crack the engines stalled and the ship dropped the meter or so to the surface of the moon. The small audience grabbed onto each other for balance against the quaking ground.

"Oh for spark's sake!" Ratchet bellowed racing off towards the ship followed closely by Sideswipe. Starscream was about to follow when a familiar voice stopped him cold.

"Haven't seen such fragged flying since our academy days."

Starscream turned slowly. He glared at his trine mate. "Thundercracker, what are you doing here?"

Thundercracker's lip components curved in a knowing smirk. "A little bird told me you were in trouble. Thought I'd come for the after show. Glad to see I haven't missed anything."

A/N ahh things have settled somewhat now so I'm sorry for the absence. Please have some fic and enjoy!

Blackout was about to give up. Hook was…harder to deal with than Thundercracker had let on. Not that he'd expected it to be easy. Just…not hard this way, is all.

Hook had no problem with doing something sub rosa. Don't tell Megatron? No problem. (Which boggled Blackout's mind, speculating how many things the engineer had done before without Megatron's knowledge.) Had no problem coming back to repair.

But the Fratalyzer was a problem. Hook wanted to know all sorts of stuff Blackout had like no idea about. Charge capacity. Cubic volume. Desired output measures. Blackout got really tired of saying "I don't know" and "Maybe." He felt dumb. And stupid. And useless. And big. Hook was barely the size of Barricade, but even, if that was possible, scarier.

"Surely," Hook said, blandly, "Someone knows."

Blackout frowned. "Can't comm them-mine is fried," (saving Autobots o frag don't ask how) "and anything ship-originated would be traceable."

Hook had eventually thrown up his hands in frustration and ordered a list of items to wait for them in the hangar. Which had made Blackout think…oh frag. How are we getting back to the moon? Apparently Hook had decided a small jumpshuttle. Blackout considered-not that he was given any say in this or anything-but the shuttle was just big enough to get he, Starscream, Barricade and possibly Soundwave off the moon. If need be. Maybe they could just dump the Fratalyzer and go. You know, with Barricade NOT sitting right next to him to tear off his audio. Barricade didn't forget why he was mad.

Blackout had tried to contact Thundercracker on the ship's comm, but…he was out of range. Huh. Guess he didn't care so much.

Hook plopped himself in the back of the shuttle with a bag of equipment. "You fly," he said.

"Uhhh, don't really think you want that," Blackout said. After his less-than-ace piloting skills with the Autobot pod, he wasn't eager to get behind the stick again.

"I don't know where we're going," Hook said. "I'd have to activate the astrogation and…"

"Trackable. Right." Blackout sure was tired of feeling dumb. It didn't help that Hook had…even less interpersonal skills than Barricade. At least Barricade was funny. Hook was just…creepy. But, whatever. A mech never got anywhere by complaining, right? Well, unless you were Starscream. But everyone else, complaining was uncool. Or Barricade. He complained a lot, too. But it was hard to take him seriously because his complaints were funny. Okay, come to think of it, Blackout was the only mech he knew who didn't complain. And he didn't want to start. He sighed, frustrated at himself, and settled himself behind the jumpshuttle's controls. Hook was…was he talking to the fratalyzers? Sounded like it. Weird. Hook was just straight up weird.

Blackout didn't mean it in a bad way, though. Everyone was a little weird, right?

He powered up the throttle and lifted the ship off the hangar floor. He hated to admit he was kind of looking forward to seeing the others again. Even if it meant Barricade ripping his arm off.

Barricade muttered to himself, shaking off Prowl's hands. "Can get up just fine."

The main console blinked angrily. Right. Like it was his fault. Fraggin' Autobot ship. Fraggin' bad landing into the side of the fraggin' mountain. He glared at Optimus, pretty sure the all-sterling Autobot leader had only let him fly because he knew this would happen. Set up to look bad. Barricade snarled.

"Hey!" a voice came through over the ship system comm. "Anyone going to tell us what happened?"

"Sorry, Ironhide," Optimus said. "We pulled the ship out of the mountain so that we can begin repairs to the navigation system."

"Yeah well you did an excellent job navigating us right onto the ground. Which idiot did the flying? Was Prowl's cortex fritzing again?"

"Barricade did."

A long silence. "Well, that explains everything, really," Ironhide said. "Only surprise is he didn't manage to blow us up in the process."

"If I still had some neptunium," Barricade snapped, "Be sure I'd've tried."

"Ironhide, Barricade!" Optimus barked. "We must work together."

"Yeah, I am working together," Ironhide muttered. "Just offering my new teammy a little constructive criticism about his flying."

"That's IT!" Barricade glared at the audio speaker. His optics flashed white.

A crashing sound over the speaker, followed by muffled cursing.

"I'm gonna fraggin' offline you, you filthy 'con!" Ironhide swore.

"What?" Barricade asked, innocently.

"Ironhide?" Optimus asked. "What happened down there?"

"Fraggin' defibrillator attacked me. ATTACKED ME."

Barricade shrugged. "Sounds like someone's a little delusional."

Prowl frowned. "Barricade, you forget that I saw you in the mines."

Barricade sighed. "Fine. You didn't mind when I did it to Short Stack back there to save your aft."

"I was incapacitated."

"Sure. That's your excuse."

"Barricade!" Optimus barked. "We are cooperating. We were wrong in not warning Ironhide that the ship would move. He has a right to be upset." He raised his voice to the comm pickup. "Ironhide, I regret that we forgot to warn you."

"Oh slag, seriously? You Autobots are pathetic. No idea how you carry on a war with all this sensitivity nonsense. We sure don't worry about it on my side."

"Nonsense," Prowl said. "I saw you and Starscream in the mines. Both of you were extremely considerate of the other's plight."

"You," Barricade said, "shut up. Before I'm forced to remind you how sexy you are."

Optimus cleared his vocalizer. He did not want to revisit this. Maybe later-he suspected it would be a good laugh later. But right now, they had bigger priorities.

Starscream frowned, feeling Thundercracker's eyes take in his damaged face, and more, register the concomitant lack in his capabilities. No depth perception meant he was more or less ground bound. "It has been," Starscream said, "an exceedingly trying mission."

"Yeah, I gathered as much from the copter."

"Has he made it to the base yet?"

"Flew him in myself, so his beacon wouldn't register. That pod, though…we're going to have to explain it sooner or later."

"Scavenger," Starscream said. "He is my explanation for many things that look like junk. Just as I blame everything that looks too crazy on Wildrider."

"That must be some mental rolodex you have there, jet," Sideswipe muttered. "I take responsibility for my actions. Keeps it simple."

"Simple is as simple does," the jet retorted.

"Will you PLEASE stop arguing?" Ratchet looked more than usually aggrieved. Probably because he couldn't decide which of the mechs in front of him deserved to be hit with a wrench first. "We have a ship to fix." He turned to Thundercracker. "Any word on a catalyzer?"

"I told Blackout to get Hook. He'll know what to bring."

"Eugh. He'll bring it in three different sizes."

"Well, the good news is it'll be fixed forever."

"That is NOT good news, Thundercracker: we are talking about an enemy ship."

"Frag." Thundercracker turned to survey the damaged vessel. "Not sure even Hook can get this thing going again." He turned back. "I can help you with astrogation if it needs to happen," he offered.

"That would not help Blackout and Barricade," Starscream said. "Nor Soundwave, though I am still unsure of his status. Would you be able to pull his mission specs?"

"Not without the right codes. In a bit maybe." Thundercracker shot a dark look at Ratchet and Sideswipe.

"I suppose I shall once again act as the natural leader that I am," Starscream said, abruptly. "We do no good to the ship from here." He trudged across the grey-brown rubble of the moon's surface.

Thundercracker frowned, shrugged, and turned to follow Starscream-their longer legs outpacing the Autobots. "Want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"The time is entirely insufficient to catalog the series of indignities and disasters I have suffered through on this mission."

"Brief update as to what we still face."

"Soundwave is..unreliable. Barricade requires handling-please allow me to do the handling. And we are forced to collaborate with these Autobots."

"Why forced? I told you, you and I can jet out of here whenever. If you want, we can grab Barricade: though I seem to recall he kind of hates being flown. Chances are we can intercept Blackout and the catalyzer and head off on our way, leaving these losers to their loserdom."

Starscream sighed. "We, alas, cannot. They know too much."

"So…we're waiting for a double cross?"

"I am hoping instead that we find out enough about them that they find it worth their while to forget what they found out about us."

Thundercracker blinked, slowly. "Oooookay. But sabotaging the ship would be easier."

"There is easy, and then there is," they both spoke the last part, like a secret joke, "the Decepticon way."

Barricade shivered, the first of the hallucinations floating just out of range of his optics. Ha ha, he told himself. Hope it was worth it, that little prank on Ironhide, because you're going to pay for it now. He looked anxiously between Prowl and Optimus-both of them were elbow deep in the main computer. Barricade took a few steps back, hoping it wouldn't look too obvious if he let himself slip, slowly, to the floor. He hated this. He could call the jet to knock him out again. He hated asking for help. No. He could pull himself through this. It wasn't that bad. This wasn't stronger than him. Bigger than him.

He fought, pushing the hallucination further away, like trying to blow away a mist or fog. It skirled around his edges of control, tendrils reaching in. No. He pushed back harder. Frag, Blackout, where are you? He felt a chilly premonition: they were all going to die here. Soundwave would try something again. Soundwave didn't like losing. Liked it even less than Barricade did. The fact that he hadn't tried anything, even during the defibrillator thing, confirmed to Barricade that the satellite was Up To Something.

A whine tried to claw its way out of his vocalizer. He stifled it.

Optimus looked back over his shoulder. "Barricade? Are you all right?"

"M fine," he muttered. The words didn't come out as angry as he'd wanted. Didn't have that 'back the frag off' punch he was hoping for.

Prowl looked back at Barricade. His optics were a little too discerning. Barricade summoned a sneer just for him. Special gift, just for you, Prowlypants, he thought. "Optimus," Prowl said, slowly, "Being underground, none of us were able to use solar recharge. Perhaps we all could use some energon."

"Yes," Optimus said. "Probably all of us could use a break. We need to make sure that those in the med bay get some energon as well." He nodded Prowl off to the task. He turned to Barricade, dropping to one knee in front of him.

"Barricade?"

Barricade glared at the visage of the concerned Autobot leader crouched awkwardly in front of him, this was the last thing he needed, false niceties. "Didn't think our relationship had progressed that far Prime." He growled his optics flicking over to where Optimus was knelt down on one knee.

Optimus shifted and knelt down completely in front of the acerbic 'con. This was going to be difficult. His joints ached and from what he could tell there wasn't a part of his armour that didn't hurt in some way, not to mention he hadn't recharged since the mission began. That and the combined energon loss and attempted hack of his cortex had worn him down. He now felt he was on the last teetering edge of his patience as well as his sanity.

"Look I know this is difficult for you."

"Got no fraggin' idea."

Optimus sighed, Barricade was going to have an answer for everything no matter how hard he tried to play nice. Right now he didn't see that he had any other choice. "I just want to help. Is there… anything I can do?"

"Can stuff yourself in a smelter." Barricade decided that would be both entertaining and a good riddance. Was the Autobot going to take him up on his suggestion, not fraggin' likely.

Optimus dropped his gaze and pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "Look Barricade." His voice took on a more commanding note, despite the lack of authority he was feeling at that very moment. "I didn't do this to you. I am genuinely concerned for your well being while you're on my ship and errr not trying to hijack it." He added hastily.

"Charmed." Barricade shot back with a glower.

"Just can you tell me what it is, that's wrong. What I can do?"

"Already given you a suggestion: you didn't fancy turning yourself into a tin can for me."

"That would be rather counterproductive to our current situation, don't you think?" He sincerely wished Prowl would hurry back with the energon. His SIC at least seemed to have some inkling of what was wrong with Barricade and he, as usual, was getting nowhere.

He moved a short distance away from Barricade and sat himself down gingerly. Barricade watched him suspiciously, not entirely comfortable with the whole 'let's be friends' vibe Prime was giving off. A small part of him wished that Prowl would return sooner rather than later, he at least didn't ask impertinent questions about things that weren't any of his slagging business.

"I honestly sometimes wonder how we've managed to fight for so long."

Barricade was taken aback by the random statement. "Mutual dislike and boredom." He stated blandly, not really wanting to get into a debate about the finer points of a war that no one really remembered the cause of in the first place.

Optimus laughed quietly. "You're probably quite right." This was better at least he could engage in pointless conversation when he had to.

"How you've managed to command that bunch of miscreants you call an army for so long is probably the more fascinating question." Barricade shot back, suddenly wanting a distraction from the hallucinations that were beginning to plague him once more.

"Patience, practice and not without making an example out of one or two along the way." Frag, GO AWAY. Stop staring at me. The energy of trying to appear all…normal was really starting to wear on him.

Barricade huffed at that statement. "Sounds like a Megatron tactic."

"Ah no, luckily I have Prowl to set the examples for me." He smirked. "He is far more… creative than me when it comes to appropriate reprimands."

Well, that sounded just lovely. Barricade forced himself still as a shudder wracked his frame. "Way to delegate." Barricade spoke even quieter now, his optics focused on the floor with fierce intensity.

Optimus noticed the tension in Barricade's frame and continued the menial chatter in a hope that it would distract him from whatever it was that was bothering him. He carried on talking until Barricade relaxed again a few moments later.

"You ok?"

Barricade just glared at him and was thankful when a cube of energon was held in front of his face. He glanced up to see Prowl standing over him holding out the energon cube. "Fine."

"You need your strength."

"M' fine," he repeated, irritably.

"The slag you are." Prowl snapped thrusting the cube into Barricade's hands before turning on his heel and handing the other cube to Optimus.

"Gettin' under your plating sexy bot?" He summoned up a burst of strength to inflect his voice. Wasn't going to show weakness in front of these slaggin' Autobots. What they don't know…they can't use against me.

Prowl shot him a dark look and vented a cycle of air. Optimus frowned at him, noticing for the first time the newly formed dents in his armour plating, and the faint splattering of energon contrasting his monochrome paintwork.

"Prowl what happened?"

The black and white mech met his leader's frown with a weary; - I'm-on-my-last-fraggin'- nerve - glare. "There was an incident in the med bay."

"What?" Optimus winced as he pushed himself to his feet. "Why wasn't I informed?"

"There was no time." Prowl held out his hands to placate his increasingly agitated leader, at least he wasn't the only one losing his last shred of patience on this Primus forsaken mission. Prowl swore silently to himself that he wasn't ever going to volunteer for any more missions and was going to lock himself in his office for the remainder of their time on Earth. "Ratchet has been informed; he's on his way to the med bay to tend the injuries now."

Optimus's optics spiraled outwards in sheer disbelief. "Injuries? What in Primus's name is going on Prowl?" And why was he suddenly being left out of the loop?

"Please Sir I can explain."

Barricade chuckled darkly as he sipped at his energon. It made a change to see the unflappable Autobot, well flapping. Certainly more entertaining than feeling the wet haze grasping at his cortex again. Suddenly, drinking the energon seemed like a bad idea. Fueling his systems. He needed a reboot. But he would NOT stoop to asking them. He put the cube aside.

Optimus towered over his SIC, his hands firmly planted on his hips. He had, had enough. Either they were going to learn to cooperate for their mutual benefit or he was going to off line the lot of them in a fit of temporary insanity when he finally snapped.

"Well you better start."