Read this one in a newspaper today.
http://www.people.co.uk/celebs-tv/films ... -23242461/Trash-Formers
Transformers: Dark of the Moon takes the ultimate booby prize as the WORST summer blockbuster of all time.
The best advice I can give you is to watch the trailer for free on the internet as all the best bits are inpit.
That way you wont have to sit through this pile of tosh and will save yourself a few quid to boot.
I have seen some really bad films in my time as a critic but this third instalment in the wildly successful Transformers series is so appalling it scores high on the bad Richter scale in every single department.
Shia LaBeouf returns as Sam Witwicky and to describe his acting talent as wooden is an insult to trees. He is beyond that. The average plank has more convincing skills. British lingerie model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley also plumbs further depths in terms of the worst acting turn in human history.
You could build a nice bedroom wardrobe out of her and LaBeouf's performances in T3. Straight back to the bra modelling for you, Rosie.
The plot is rambling nonsense and starts with a bizarre Apollo moon landing sequence.
The story seems to be that when a mysterious event from our planets past erupts into the present day it threatens to bring a war so devastating that the Transformers alone will not be able to save us.
Director Michael Bay has no sense of storytelling and relies wholly on the crash, bang, wallop school of film-making the big-screen equivalent of shock and awe. The teenage boys who love hyperkinetic action sequences, loads of explosions, tons of CGI effects and cars transforming into robots will be out in their droves to see T3 in 3D. I was bored witless.
Heaven preserve me from ever again having to sit through this tedious, charmless, bloated film. The depressing thing about T3 is that by the time you read this it will have trousered a mind-boggling £250million worldwide, filling Paramount and Michael Bays over-stuffed pockets even more. Utterly impervious to critical assault, Dark of the Moon sets new standards in lowest common denominator film-making.
There is no talent, no class, no storytelling and not an ounce of enjoyment in its lengthy 154-minute running time. Even the 3D experience was pretty average.
Despite the efforts of co-stars Josh Duhamel, John Malkovich, Patrick Dempsey, Ken Jeong, John Turturro, Frances McDormand, Peter Cullen and Tyrese Gibson, I would cross the street to avoid this flea-ridden dog of a film.
Just say no to Dark of the Moon.
