If you want to talk about anything you can always post it here. It does good getting the thoughts out of your head. Most of us here have suffered losses like this. A couple of years ago my wife lost her dad and nan in the space of a year. Those wounds are still raw and we lost contact with one of her sisters in the aftermath (don't feel sorry for her, she stole money from her father on his deathbed on xmas eve...).
No one expects you to fully accept everything, so you shouldn't either. As the poster above me says, try support groups or just post your feelings here