Just then the Dinobots come storming in. Prime commands them to stop the vehicles. Grimlock is awesome, as always. "We help! Hmm, always get Autobots out of messes they get into." I love him so much sometimes. They transform and do their thing. What more can be said?
exactly. this is how i remember the dinobots. WTF season 3? WTF?
AND WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO EXIT SKYFIRE THREW HIS CROTCH?
Tell me about it. We want badass dinos, not the comic relief! As for Skyfire, I believe this is his last appearance in the series.
And now an episode I've been legit dreading to do. Enter the Nightbird
And exit, too? Very quickly?
We open on Ratchet welding. Then the other Autobots welding. Wheeljack explains they're detection panels for security. he hooks it up and waves his hand in front of it, setting off an alarm.
So they're functionally useless, then. They can only detect metal-which all transformers are made of-and they're plates
, used for detecting flying enemies!
Cliffjumper runs up and informs Prime he's got a call from 'Doctor Fujiyama the famous scientist!'. There are so many
things wrong with that sentence. Which doctor, precisely? Prime goes running off. There's an Asian man in a business suit. He bows... "Sorry to intrude, Mister Optimus Prime. I am in need of the services of you and your Autobots." Okay, except for the 'Mister' not too bad there. Prime asks why, and it's to guard his latest invention. He asks if the Decepticons can eavesdrop, and despite reassurances from Ironhide, is hesitant. Turns out it's a special robot. "At the risk of sounding boastful, it is the greatest robot ever created by man." And his head explodes from his ego... He admits it's primitive by Autobot standards, and Prime agrees to come.
The Autobots make fun. Wheeljack is first. "Imagine, Autobots playing nursemaid to an Earth robot! It's probably just a glorified windup toy!" Ouch
! Prime chastises him and orders the to roll.
I love the look on Ironhide's face, there.
At the unveiling the Autobots are on guard and display their snide programming.
Ratchet: "Doctor Fujiyama's doohickey's under that drape."
Wheeljack: "If it walks it probably needs a long extension cord."
Ratchet again: "Heeheehee, I wonder if batteries are included."
Wheeljack once more. "When you turn it on it'll probably blow the lights!"
Prime shuts them up. "We're here to guard the robot, not to make jokes at its expense!" Prime, remember the rockets in 'Autobot Spike'? Although to be fair, there was praise there too. He walks up to the concealed figure as Fujiyama motions and the drape is winched off.
"This, gentlemen, is the first female ninja robot. I have named her Nightbird!" By those words... there have been male ninja robots before?
The scientists are in awe. Prime asks what a ninja is. It's so adorable! Spike explains the basic Hollywood version. Jazz has actually read about them! "Ninjas were deadly assassins!"
I love that Jazz read about them. That's so
We see the crowd of scientists. Somewhat multi-ethnic. One asks the most obvious question since "Fire bad?" Why build a robot ninja? "Isn't that rather dangerous?" Give this man the Nobel. Now. Fujiyama says Nightbird was built to show the capabilities of technology and will expand robotics, to help humanity.
Just then, the irony fairy decides to show up as the door behind Trailbreaker is blown open. He's sent flying
over the crowd as Rumble and Frenzy run in, Rumble deploying his piledrivers. Frenzy fires into the crowd-several of the blasts going offscreen and you all know where I'm going with that.
Jazz wants to engage, but Prime says not while there are humans who can get caught in the crossfire. Rumble's driver heads are square this time, not round.
Decepticons carve through the ceiling as the scientists flee. Laserbeak enters as the last are evacuated. Megatron bursts through the wall. "I bring you greetings, Optimus Prime. Lethal greetings!" He fires at Prime, but Bluestreak takes the hit. Megatron laughs rather creepily. Soundwave fires at Brawn, but Mirage takes him out. Meagtron takes aim. "Mirage, prepare to disappear-permanently!" Prime grapples and deflects the shot. Ironhide's pinned and Megatron shoots Prime in the back. Prime... jumps back and punches him out.
The entire ceiling is peeled away. Starscream and Thundercracker use tow cables and possibly harpoons to grab Nightbird and haul it away. Megatron returns the punch and decks
Prime, and the Decepticons get away.
The Decepticons arrive... here.
I refuse to give this the dignity of a comment. Soundwave's insignia flashes and the base's hatch opens. They enter and Bombshell is seen working on Nightbird. "This is child's play compared to Decepticon transform circuits!" He rewires her, adds some microchips and triples her power. "I love warping minds for you, Megatron!"
He closes its chest and it jumps up, doing some katas. Starscream mocks Nightbird. "She looks like some earthling play puppet!" And it knocks him down with one punch. Megatron, naturally, approves. Soundwave confirms it's been programmed with its orders-to steal the World Energy Chip from the Autobots and exterminate them.
Back at the remnants of the auditorium, Prime apologizes to Fujiyama for utterly failing. Fujiyama is... rather understanding. Prime vows they'll get the robot ninja back, and Fujiyama asks it to be returned unharmed. "The technical components are irreplaceable and are needed for research.
." Prime orders the wounded back to base. Ratchet gives Brawn a lift back, even. At the Ark, we actually see a security camera at the entrance... for I believe the only time. Nightbird hides in the bushes, and decides to rappel up the side of Mount Saint Hillary. Up there, we see the Autobots have built some sort of structure up there... for again, the only time. It leaps onto an elevator that Spike and Prowl are riding. Again, why?
Spike's wondering why they stole Nightbird. Prowl's answer sums up the Autobot's attitude to the Decepticons. "I don't understand anything the Decepticons do." "Yeah, it's over my head too." Bad unintentional pun, Spike.
Nightbird is inside and sneaks around. It sees the detection panels lining one hallway, glowing brightly and being about as obvious as an MP Optimus Prime in a group of movie toys. Nightbird... uses magnets in its feet and hands to climb the walls. Paging Peter Parker. It dodges past Brawn being repaired and ducks into Teletraan's main control room. It pulls out the World Energy Chip, but the lights go out! Prime knows it's an intruder! Nightbird retreats, but runs into Mirage. It kicks his ass nineteen ways from Sunday, but he manages to hit the alarm. They shine lights on it, but its hands retract and buzzsaws emerge from wrist sockets. And not the Cassetticon condor, either.
It tosses multiple blades, then spins around and emits a bright strobing light, disappearing. Prime gets the Autobots together to head after Nightbird. Ratchet stays behind to repair the rest of the Autobots. We cut to the Autobots out in the desert. They spot it on a bluff and Prime shoots it with a stun ray. They approach, but to quote Prime, "She was playing roboto-possum!" Not everything they say needs to be mechanized... It pulls out shuriken and tosses them, doing little damage put cheesing off Cliffjumper. He goes to shoot, but Prime says no. And then a lightsaber... complete with sound effect. Seriously.
Prime tires to reason with the unliving machine, but it hits him. Turns out it doesn't slice, more like a stun baton. It knocks Prime's laser rifle out of his hands and knocks him in the head. Bluestreak goes to shoot and hits its lightsaber. It takes Prime's laser rifle. The Autobots chase Nightbird to the edge of a cliff. It jumps, and disappears. Like the wind...
Jazz helps Prime to his feet and wonders why it stole its his laser rifle. "It's said the ninja always takes a part of an enemy with her. Thank goodness it was only my weapon." Been reading up on ninja, Prime? Cliffjumper gives him its lightsaber. Prime suspects Megatron.
Back at the huge Decepticon insignia
hidden base, Megatron gloats about Nightbird's success. Bombshell loves Nightbird and... is only half Megatron's height.
Starscream points out it will burn out fast due to Bombshell's tinkering. Megatron retorts it will get to the base first. "It's all been programmed." Starscream continues to rant. "She's not so hot!" And now the line everyone latches onto...
"She's hot enough to replace you
whenever I choose!"
Back to this later...
Back at the Ark, Ratchet discovers Nightbird stole the World Energy Chip. It apparently 'itemizes' the world's energy supplies. It... kinda makes sense the Autobots would have something like this. What do the Decepticons usually target? Energy sources. A list like that is a list of potential targets for them to hit and for the Autobots to know about.
Ironhide realizes it's Megatron. No, really? He notifies Prime. Prime's little microphone emerges from his helmet. Hound activates his infrared... which sounds like sonar. They drive into a canyon, and he gets a signal from the north. They see her at the end of the canyon and still wants to capture it unharmed.
It activates a tractor beam and gets the lightsaber back. "Not one of my better ideas." Prime charges it and dodges some slashes. We do a commercial break and Nightbird is standing there, twirling its blade before jumping away. The Autobots follow, all leaping up a cliffside... except Cliffjumper. Yes, lets get the joke over with. The one named Cliffjumper needs help up the cliff. Nightbird... scales a mountainside with its magnetic feet. Or maybe some sort of adhesive? Whatever the hell Spiderman uses? Anyway, it grabs onto a loose rock and comes tumbling down.
Prime rushes it again and Cliffjumper and Bluestreak pull their weapons. Nightbird uses more shuriken to knock their weapons away and Mirage decides to cloak and circle around. He throws Prime his rifle and he decides no more mister nice Autobot. He shoots and scores! Nightbird uses more shuriken. Seriously, they're doing nothing
the Autobots. Prime wants suggestions. "And you don't need to raise your hand before you speak!" I wonder how many unruly kids spoke put in school the next day.
Bluestreak fires a missile at it but it's caught out of midair. It tosses it back at Cliffjumper, jamming up his glass gas nozzle. Jazz tries his light and sound show... but it even has blockers for that. Seriously? It's like a Mary Suetron here!
Back at the base, Megatron's ecstatic and taunts Starscream. "She's everything I've always wanted!" Starscream decks
Megatron in a fit of rage. Megatron calls Thundercracker and Skywarp to grab him while Bombshell and Soundwave activate an energy cage around him. He screams, but Megatron notes it's something he rigged up for the Autobots. "Think of it as a farewell gift!" Ooh, burn!
He goes back to the Nightbird show and sees it tied up by energy beams. He realizes he's gotta go get her and the Energy Chip. He leads the Decepticons out. We see Nightbird tied up and the Chip is knocked loose. Cliffjumper goes to get it, but Megatron shoots him. The Autobots and Decepticons rush each other in a massive
firefight. Seriously, no quips or snide comments. Just running and gunning.
Cliffjumper tries for the Chip again, but Bombshell flies over and grabs it. Brawn shoots it out of his mouth... tentacle... thing. Prime grabs it but Megatron pulls a gun. "Watch how my anti-matter blaster eats up energy!" That... makes no sense even for this
cartoon. He shoots the net capturing Nightbird and it's free.
Back at the Decepticon base, Starscream watches the battle on the monitor, shoots a missile at the console and hits the release button. He flies out as the battle rages. Nightbird pulls some fancy moves, taking down several Autobots and even Prime. To be fair he wasn't fighting back much. Starscream fires his null-ray and shoots Nightbird in the back, disabling it. Megatron's aghast and we get a funky line. "Say goodnight to your Megatron!" I think it was supposed to be "Say goodnight to your Nightbird!" Megatron sends the rest of the Decepticons after Starscream.
The Autobots gather around Prime. He's got Nightbird and the Chip!
Back with Fujiyama. He's glad Nightbird's back. Prime's glad it's back in his possession. "Deprogrammed and neutralized." It's sealed up inside some sort of storage unit. And our final shot is...Thoughts
So, what is
Nightbird? If you've paid any attention, you'll notice I referred to nightbird as 'it' instead of 'she'. There's my opinion right there. An impressive piece of Earth technology, upgraded by the Decepticons, but little more. One angry glare for an 'or is it?' ending does not equal sapience.
As for Megatron threatening to replace Starscream... I think it was just their usual bitching to one another. Nightbird was a useful tool to him.