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Ashes
Allegiance: Autobot
Function: Ex Iacon Main-way guard; autobot soldier
Alt. Mode: Ford Pick-up Truck
Height: 22 feet/ 6.0756
Weapon(s): Energon Rose staff (white staff with pink tint-like glow) Neutron Assault Rifle, Dual Blades, Scatter Blaster
Special Abilities: Her name is Ashes for a reason people! If she wants to, Ashes can create an ash cover-up, which can make her appear off-lined, this is a manipulation technique she enjoys too much.
Quote: "You can't loose what you never had"

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 5 she has been 'out' for a while
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 6
Endurance: 8
Courage: 9
Fire Power: 7
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 6
Tech Skill: 1
Charisma: 5

Profile: Once a famous singer, Roses, ended her career after her final concert, as she joined the Guardial Autobot ranks. She is quite quick and always has a plan, she is usually a greatly positive thinker and always strives to be the best, she is trust worthy, smart and cocky, but has her maturity as well as childish ways.

Abilities: Ashes has learned a way to force-stasis herself in a way that stops her from loosing energon if wounded, although this makes her remain in stasis to keep her from leaking out, it is a great survival skill which DID save her once. She also has a great amount of empathy, which makes her easily liked for her immense kindness, even on her darkest day.

Weaknesses: due to a problem when the war first began (detail will be in sample post), Ashes knows very little of the war and its tragic out comes, she is also easy to decept from her sincere lack of knowledge.

Sample Post:

Black enveloped Ashes's beautifully feminine face. Her gorgeous blue optics illuminated the dark showing, in pale light, her face. There was some free light that caught the rest of her slender frame. A beautiful, deep, menacing red was the paint she wore, it held an illuding rustic tint to it which seemed to sparkle in small swirls it was painted in. Her helm ended near her chin, and ended with a point, her shoulder armor was large and curiously shaped. Two, 'Happy Pink' roses were painted on both sides of her sleek pelvic mesh.

"What have I..." she stopped, each word she spoke was with a hurt which stabbed her spark; she had missed so much, too much...and she couldn't fix it, any of it. Tears threatened in her optics, she cruelly fought them back, she had to be strong... She was standing on a public stadium, on Cybertron; the last stadium she had preformed on, the last stadium her sparkling had played under--

Ashes shook her head, her sparkling, her baby she had made... Gone, again, she fought back the tears, it hurt. It hurt so bad. Images flashed into her head, her sparkling when she finally activated her, the last images of screaming fans as she stepped off the stage for the last time; all this, seemed like yesterday. It wasn't though. This wasn't the same Cybertron she'd left. Not anymore. This was just a cold, savage, lifeless shell of her home world, and Ashes knew it.

"Fifty THOUSAND years..." her voice was just a weak whimper. She remembered the last day...it was nothing to remember. She had been left to stand guard over the Iacon building as her companion went in after an explosion erupted from inside; that's when the cons came. She was strong, but was ganged up on, her failure was imminent, as she lie on the energon slick ground, her optics flickering weakly, she forced herself into that stasis.

"That stasis saved my life...but took so many of theirs...the ones I vowed to protect..." She stood, her posture and expression that of a girl who lost her father and wants revenge, that of a man who will avenge his lost bride, that of a Cybertronian who will fight in her fallen plnet's honor...

BubbleGum:Unlimited wrote:Name: Railway
Allegiance: none
Function: Hired Assassin
Alt. Mode: none
Height: 36'/ 10.9728
Weapons: Shackle mace, mace, six hand guns, one arm canon, one sword, one shield, two daggers, shirukens and mini daggers
Special Abilities: Due to her massive collection of weapons, Railway can create new holders from her own armor by simply sticking the weapon into that specific spot of her armor.
Quote: "I only kill for pay"

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 5
Endurance: 6
Courage: 4
Fire Power: 6
Accuracy: 5
Melee: 6
Tech Skill: 3
Charisma: 4

Profile: Railway was often harassed for her height and size. She had wanted to be a simple Autobot soldier, but due to her size, she wasn't treated the same as the other Autobot trainees. Railway worked twice as hard, and strived to do her very best...sadly her very best wasn't enough. Once the war began, Railway had a friend who always stood by her, but during a battle that femme fell, and Railway left the autobot cause. Despite the Decepticons' intreging offers, Railway instead joined the UAC (Universal Assassins Core). She travels the galaxies searching for new targets. (Of course she only does this for pay)
Abilities: Do to her high level of weapons, Railway can use nearly every weapon you hand her. From a duel blade, to a Neutron Assault Rifle. She also can confuse or distract her victims by using different calls, such as a bird, or a fox. She is also very good at trickery, she is quite large, so bots expect her to make a lot of noise when running or walking; but, Railway actually make NO sound what-so-ever when walking and/or running.
Weaknesses: Railway is easily deceived. She is also easily set off. If she were to become enraged, her temper would take over, this could easily get her into a "sticky situation" so to speak. Despite her silence, Railway is obviously NOT built for stealth missions of any sorts; while she can handle them, she is too large, and could easily be spotted.
Sample Post:
Darkness, that's all there was to space in her optics. Darkness...She sat down at the command station chair that was twice her size, this ship was small. Medbay crammed into a corner of the room, her berth right next to the entrance, even her weapon stock filled most of the ship. (granted, she DID have over fifty weapons.)Railway looked through her list of targets: An alien of unknown species on an unknown planet, wonderous, that would only take sixty slagging cycles to find!
"I thought these idiots would be more...oh, I dunno... SPECIFIC!!" She sighed, who was she kidding? All these life forms were idiots. She didn't like how she thought, it was cruel and mean...but, she couldn't help it. It wasn't like she'd WANTED this job! She only joined because she wasn't accepted by the autobots. She was too big...that wasn't fair, she may not have been the same SIZE, but her spark had always been in the right place...
Her lavender optics teared up, the lights of the ship reflecting the dark Grey paint that embraced her frame. Her thigh guards lowered, the same way they always did when she was upset. Railway wasn't a cruel assassin, she honestly wasn't that good at killing others; in fact, she REFUSED any types of torcher assassinations, she just couldn't do them. She was 36 feet, she was con size, of course, she wasn't a Decepticon...She was a deep, menacing grey with a scar that cut from her helm to her mouth. Her helm was spike-ish on the sides near her face, the helm sides coressed her face in a neat manner; her build was still quite feminine, she had the striking curves, the look of a femme, so why wasn't she treated like a normal fem?? She took a deep breath and looked at her hands.
"You don't fit in..." she repeated these words everyday. "You will NEVER belong..." a tear gently slipped down her cheek, it hurt; whenever she said this, it hurt, but... She knew it was true, they'd never accept her, no one would.
"Lock on 'Earth'...I want to go there... Somewhere no one will find me..." She sat back and let the ship take control, slowly, her optics dimmed and finally closed into stasis, she wished it could have been perminant.

Alright, the name Railway works. Sounds nice and Cybertronian.

However; she's going to need to pick a side. Unaligned characters don't tend to make it. We only allow them in rare circumstances and this isn't one of them. If she goes with Autobots, her function will need to change as well. There is no Universal Asssassins Core (Corps?) on this game, so that will need to be removed from the bio entirely. There's a lot of spelling, grammar errors in the sample post that make it difficult to read. Also, the spacing between paragraphs that I mentioned to a previous applicant will be useful as well.

At this stage, the character is denied. If you pretty much overhaul her bio and add more substance to it to compensate for what you're going to lose with the assassins stuff and make your sample post more comparable to what an in-game post should look like, I'll give it another look.

BubbleGum:Unlimited wrote:Ashes
Allegiance: Autobot
Function: Ex Iacon Main-way guard; autobot soldier
Alt. Mode: Ford Pick-up Truck
Height: 22 feet/ 6.0756
Weapon(s): Energon Rose staff (white staff with pink tint-like glow) Neutron Assault Rifle, Dual Blades, Scatter Blaster
Special Abilities: Her name is Ashes for a reason people! If she wants to, Ashes can create an ash cover-up, which can make her appear off-lined, this is a manipulation technique she enjoys too much.
Quote: "You can't loose what you never had"

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 5 she has been 'out' for a while
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 6
Endurance: 8
Courage: 9
Fire Power: 7
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 6
Tech Skill: 1
Charisma: 5

Profile: Once a famous singer, Roses, ended her career after her final concert, as she joined the Guardial Autobot ranks. She is quite quick and always has a plan, she is usually a greatly positive thinker and always strives to be the best, she is trust worthy, smart and cocky, but has her maturity as well as childish ways.

Abilities: Ashes has learned a way to force-stasis herself in a way that stops her from loosing energon if wounded, although this makes her remain in stasis to keep her from leaking out, it is a great survival skill which DID save her once. She also has a great amount of empathy, which makes her easily liked for her immense kindness, even on her darkest day.

Weaknesses: due to a problem when the war first began (detail will be in sample post), Ashes knows very little of the war and its tragic out comes, she is also easy to decept from her sincere lack of knowledge.

Sample Post:

Black enveloped Ashes's beautifully feminine face. Her gorgeous blue optics illuminated the dark showing, in pale light, her face. There was some free light that caught the rest of her slender frame. A beautiful, deep, menacing red was the paint she wore, it held an illuding rustic tint to it which seemed to sparkle in small swirls it was painted in. Her helm ended near her chin, and ended with a point, her shoulder armor was large and curiously shaped. Two, 'Happy Pink' roses were painted on both sides of her sleek pelvic mesh.

"What have I..." she stopped, each word she spoke was with a hurt which stabbed her spark; she had missed so much, too much...and she couldn't fix it, any of it. Tears threatened in her optics, she cruelly fought them back, she had to be strong... She was standing on a public stadium, on Cybertron; the last stadium she had preformed on, the last stadium her sparkling had played under--

Ashes shook her head, her sparkling, her baby she had made... Gone, again, she fought back the tears, it hurt. It hurt so bad. Images flashed into her head, her sparkling when she finally activated her, the last images of screaming fans as she stepped off the stage for the last time; all this, seemed like yesterday. It wasn't though. This wasn't the same Cybertron she'd left. Not anymore. This was just a cold, savage, lifeless shell of her home world, and Ashes knew it.

"Fifty THOUSAND years..." her voice was just a weak whimper. She remembered the last day...it was nothing to remember. She had been left to stand guard over the Iacon building as her companion went in after an explosion erupted from inside; that's when the cons came. She was strong, but was ganged up on, her failure was imminent, as she lie on the energon slick ground, her optics flickering weakly, she forced herself into that stasis.

"That stasis saved my life...but took so many of theirs...the ones I vowed to protect..." She stood, her posture and expression that of a girl who lost her father and wants revenge, that of a man who will avenge his lost bride, that of a Cybertronian who will fight in her fallen plnet's honor...

For this one, the name is passable. The function should just be soldier. Leave the bio to explain anything the character used to do.

As to the bio, you said she's an ex "Main way guard". So, a guard of some kind I'm assuming. Your profile history does nothing to indicate that, so it will need to be fleshed out significantly more.

You're going to need to go in to significantly more detail on what this "ash cover up" special ability is before we can decide if it's even passable. If it is, we'll also assign a stat penalty for it. As it stands right now, it would just be something to either be removed completely or explained significantly more.

The force-stasis thing will also need to be put into the special abilities section and fleshed out more, as it is also likely to not be allowed without us being given more of idea of what you have in mind for it. Then a stat penalty will be assigned for that as well. In the abilities section, just cover things like her speed and range without external fuel tanks. Explain the effects of your character's weapons.

This sample post was easier to read and better formatted than the other one. Not sure why. But there were still grammar errors that would have been fixed by a simple Word check. This isn't English class, but we aim for a certain level of reading ease amongst all our players.

As it stands, the character would not be approved. Rework the things I've mentioned and we'll have another look. And I would recommend a healthy dose of patience and not simply assuming that your applications are being "blown off" after one day.

Devastron didn't approve of the backstory, so I'm re-writing it.

Ramshot

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Sniper/Assassin
Alternate Modes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2S19_Msta
Weapons: Heavy 152mm Railgun/Artillery cannon
Null ray laser pistol (Disguised as an NSVT heavy machine gun)
A pair of Energon daggers (His signature weapons back when he was a Hitman)
Special Abilities: His body is covered with a special radiation-absorbing paint not too dissimilar to the kind used in modern day stealth fighters, making him hard to detect using radar or other non-visual means. Through a nasty head injury from a botched Hit and an equally screwed up surgical procedure to save his life by a back-alley doctor, Ramshot's nervous system has been deadened; giving him significant resistance to pain. But sadly, also suppressing his emotions and sense of touch. Not that it matters to him.
Height: 30ft/ 10m (If you count his railgun as part of him, then he's 40 ft tall)
Quote: “One moment is all I need.”


Strength: 6
Intelligence: 4
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 2
Endurance: 6
Courage: 9
Firepower: 5
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 3
Charisma: 2
Rank:

Profile: You would not be mistaken when you think of Ramshot as a creepy loner at first glance, This morose and introverted soldier spends most of his time staring into nothing while emanating an aura of unease and gloom that makes Dead End of all bots to almost look friendly and inviting in comparison; though Dead End is genuinely depressed, Ramshot is not. For what he sees in his thousand-yard stares are not horrors or nightmares, but rather his greatest achievements and fondest memories... All of which involve brutal violence and death. Despite not wanting or caring to share the true nature of his hobby, those that fought with Ramshot always speak fondly of his psychotically calm and frosty attitude under even the most intense of firefights as well as his incredible proficiency at dismembering Autobots from both miles away and at melee combat. But many Decepticons still find him to be disturbing and would only socially interact with him if they lost a bet, not at all helped by the fact that he had his faceplate modified to make it look like the Decepticon insignia as a show of loyalty to both Megatron and the cause he champions.

A dirt-eating miner from the city-state of Vos, Ramshot had little to be happy about his lot in life, from the back-breaking labor to the abusive overseers; but during a particularly violent and large riot, he managed to somehow escape the mine that had been his prison ever since his activation and into the crime-ridden slums of Vos. But being a miner with little to no experience in anything other than breaking things, as well as being a runaway slave with a price for his smouldering chassis; life actually became much harder for Ramshot, forcing him to become a ruthless and violent mugger/murderer just to make ends meet. One fateful day however, Ramshot murdered the wrong cybertronian; specifically a hitman of an organized crime ring; who had intoxicated himself on some tainted energon to the point that the inexperienced but vicious mugger was able to snuff his spark; otherwise, Ramshot would have been killed in a matter of seconds. The syndicate's retribution was swift and after being beaten to near death, they gave him a choice: Work for them or be thrown into a pit full of Scraplets. Ramshot chose the marginally less deadly option of becoming a hitman, but against his bosses' and his own expectations; the ex-slave was actually much better than the bot he replaced, eventually culminating in his Magnum Opus: The successful assassination of Vos' police chief with the very first use of his infamous Railgun. Said chief had been cracking down on the syndicate's activities because they weren't willing to give him a cut of their profits... Afterwards, The new police chief took it upon himself to bring the ones responsible for his predecessor's demise to justice. Unfortunately for the syndicate, the new guy kept his word; resulting in it's dissolution and the imprisonment of the members who were lucky enough to survive the sting operation, Ramshot included. His stay in prison wasn't for very long as the Decepticon uprising soon came to Vos and he was subsequently broken out of jail by armed slaves. After being put to speed regarding the current situation, he was then led outside to find the city under Decepticon control. And right on time to bear witness to Vos' ruling class, the ones responsible for the reason why bots like Ramshot ended up being dealt with such a miserable existence; get torn apart by an angry mob of slaves and criminals amidst a booming and passionate speech by the so-called Decepticon leader. Won over by "Megatron's" speech and promises of a Cybertron where there will be no more bots like him, Ramshot has since then been one of the Decepticon's most fanatical, rabid and fiercest supporters.

Abilities: In vehicle form, Ramshot can travel 500 kilometers at a speed of 60km/h. Because of his alt form's autoloader, the rate of fire of his railgun doubles in vehicle mode, though he is unable to use it at full power in this form due to the incredible recoil. Speaking of the railgun, it fires "darts" of superdense metal at massively hypersonic speeds every 15 seconds or the standard-issue high-explosive shells that came with his altmode, though he has to turn down the power to his weapon whenever he has to fire the shells as they can't withstand the friction of being sent out of a barrel at velocities many, many times the speed of sound without prematurely detonating or deforming and being rendered unable to explode. He has very, very powerful sight that brings out the full potential of his railgun, giving him the ability to snipe anything wearing the Autobot insignia from 15 miles away.

Weaknesses: Ramshot has no major physical weaknesses in either form. The incredibly low rate-of-fire of his two ranged weapons gives him trouble when facing multiple foes at once and their danger level drops considerably when any lucky Autobot closes the distance and fights at mid-to-close range. His deadened sense of pain, while very intimidating; is actually detrimental to his survival as it causes him to ignore serious injuries in favor of standing his ground until he is literally physically incapable of fighting, forcing him to stay in the infirmary for much longer periods of time than his fellow Decepticons... Should they be nice enough to drag him to safety that is.

Sample post
Amidst the scorching sun and scrublands of the Mojave desert, a lone Self-propelled artillery of Russian make and design rolls through the smouldering soil at top speed as if it's crew's life depended on it. The part about lives being in risk was true... From a certain point of view, and the crew... Well... It had no crew, something made evident when it came to a stop on the peak of a rocky foothill overlooking a highway and then suddenly began to transform into a humanoid robot; such a radical shift in the vehicle's structure would have crushed and ground up anyone inside the thing and the lack of red, juicy paste dripping from the machine's joints is proof to the fact that it was indeed unmanned. The machine then puts a finger onto where it's ear, just like how a one would operate an earpiece and speaks in a low, rugged tone.

"I am in position."

"Copy Ramshot, the target's ETA is two kliks, over."

"Understood."

"Ramshot" removes his finger from his ear and then gets into prone position in order to properly stabilize himself for both the best possible aim and the massive recoil of the Railgun behind his right shoulder, which then telescoped out; exposing the massive weapon's handgrip, trigger and holographic targeting reticle. After he had prepared it's weapon, Ramshot waited, his body was so stiff and still; one could mistake the robot for a very complex statue. Two minutes passed until a sports car of European make raced into the empty highway, and emblazoned on it's bonnet is a highly stylized insignia of a robot's face; The sight caused the robotic sniper to finally move, but even then; the motions were incredibly difficult to notice, as they were only the narrowing of the machine's deep crimson optical sensors and a twitch of it's trigger finger.

"Hmmm..."

Waiting for a few more moments for the car to reach the stretch of road his reticle was locked on, Ramshot squeezes the trigger causing his body to dig into the dry earth and slide several inches backwards from the Railgun's monstrous recoil, if it wasn't for the fact that Ramshot was very used to the weapon's operation; Ramshot's shoulder would have hurt to the point that he would be unable to follow up with a second shot, fortunately for him; he didn't need to do so as he struck true and managed to blast the car clean in half, which he proceeded to report to the entity through the earpiece.

"Target is down."

"We confirmed the kill. Proceed to retrieve the package, over."

"Affirmative."

Without a word, the Robot stood up from prone position in order to transform back into a self-propelled gun and rolled towards the highway... Which was at least 5 miles from the foothill.


I certainly hope that was good enough for you guys...

Ramshot wrote:Devastron didn't approve of the backstory, so I'm re-writing it.

Ramshot

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Sniper/Assassin
Alternate Modes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2S19_Msta
Weapons: Heavy 152mm Railgun/Artillery cannon
Null ray laser pistol (Disguised as an NSVT heavy machine gun)
A pair of Energon daggers (His signature weapons back when he was a Hitman)
Special Abilities: His body is covered with a special radiation-absorbing paint not too dissimilar to the kind used in modern day stealth fighters, making him hard to detect using radar or other non-visual means. Through a nasty head injury from a botched Hit and an equally screwed up surgical procedure to save his life by a back-alley doctor, Ramshot's nervous system has been deadened; giving him significant resistance to pain. But sadly, also suppressing his emotions and sense of touch. Not that it matters to him.
Height: 30ft/ 10m (If you count his railgun as part of him, then he's 40 ft tall)
Quote: “One moment is all I need.”


Strength: 6
Intelligence: 4
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 2
Endurance: 6
Courage: 9
Firepower: 5
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 3
Charisma: 2
Rank:

Profile: You would not be mistaken when you think of Ramshot as a creepy loner at first glance, This morose and introverted soldier spends most of his time staring into nothing while emanating an aura of unease and gloom that makes Dead End of all bots to almost look friendly and inviting in comparison; though Dead End is genuinely depressed, Ramshot is not. For what he sees in his thousand-yard stares are not horrors or nightmares, but rather his greatest achievements and fondest memories... All of which involve brutal violence and death. Despite not wanting or caring to share the true nature of his hobby, those that fought with Ramshot always speak fondly of his psychotically calm and frosty attitude under even the most intense of firefights as well as his incredible proficiency at dismembering Autobots from both miles away and at melee combat. But many Decepticons still find him to be disturbing and would only socially interact with him if they lost a bet, not at all helped by the fact that he had his faceplate modified to make it look like the Decepticon insignia as a show of loyalty to both Megatron and the cause he champions.

A dirt-eating miner from the city-state of Vos, Ramshot had little to be happy about his lot in life, from the back-breaking labor to the abusive overseers; but during a particularly violent and large riot, he managed to somehow escape the mine that had been his prison ever since his activation and into the crime-ridden slums of Vos. But being a miner with little to no experience in anything other than breaking things, as well as being a runaway slave with a price for his smouldering chassis; life actually became much harder for Ramshot, forcing him to become a ruthless and violent mugger/murderer just to make ends meet. One fateful day however, Ramshot murdered the wrong cybertronian; specifically a hitman of an organized crime ring; who had intoxicated himself on some tainted energon to the point that the inexperienced but vicious mugger was able to snuff his spark; otherwise, Ramshot would have been killed in a matter of seconds. The syndicate's retribution was swift and after being beaten to near death, they gave him a choice: Work for them or be thrown into a pit full of Scraplets. Ramshot chose the marginally less deadly option of becoming a hitman, but against his bosses' and his own expectations; the ex-slave was actually much better than the bot he replaced, eventually culminating in his Magnum Opus: The successful assassination of Vos' police chief with the very first use of his infamous Railgun. Said chief had been cracking down on the syndicate's activities because they weren't willing to give him a cut of their profits... Afterwards, The new police chief took it upon himself to bring the ones responsible for his predecessor's demise to justice. Unfortunately for the syndicate, the new guy kept his word; resulting in it's dissolution and the imprisonment of the members who were lucky enough to survive the sting operation, Ramshot included. His stay in prison wasn't for very long as the Decepticon uprising soon came to Vos and he was subsequently broken out of jail by armed slaves. After being put to speed regarding the current situation, he was then led outside to find the city under Decepticon control. And right on time to bear witness to Vos' ruling class, the ones responsible for the reason why bots like Ramshot ended up being dealt with such a miserable existence; get torn apart by an angry mob of slaves and criminals amidst a booming and passionate speech by the so-called Decepticon leader. Won over by "Megatron's" speech and promises of a Cybertron where there will be no more bots like him, Ramshot has since then been one of the Decepticon's most fanatical, rabid and fiercest supporters.

Abilities: In vehicle form, Ramshot can travel 500 kilometers at a speed of 60km/h. Because of his alt form's autoloader, the rate of fire of his railgun doubles in vehicle mode, though he is unable to use it at full power in this form due to the incredible recoil. Speaking of the railgun, it fires "darts" of superdense metal at massively hypersonic speeds every 15 seconds or the standard-issue high-explosive shells that came with his altmode, though he has to turn down the power to his weapon whenever he has to fire the shells as they can't withstand the friction of being sent out of a barrel at velocities many, many times the speed of sound without prematurely detonating or deforming and being rendered unable to explode. He has very, very powerful sight that brings out the full potential of his railgun, giving him the ability to snipe anything wearing the Autobot insignia from 15 miles away.

Weaknesses: Ramshot has no major physical weaknesses in either form. The incredibly low rate-of-fire of his two ranged weapons gives him trouble when facing multiple foes at once and their danger level drops considerably when any lucky Autobot closes the distance and fights at mid-to-close range. His deadened sense of pain, while very intimidating; is actually detrimental to his survival as it causes him to ignore serious injuries in favor of standing his ground until he is literally physically incapable of fighting, forcing him to stay in the infirmary for much longer periods of time than his fellow Decepticons... Should they be nice enough to drag him to safety that is.

Sample post
Amidst the scorching sun and scrublands of the Mojave desert, a lone Self-propelled artillery of Russian make and design rolls through the smouldering soil at top speed as if it's crew's life depended on it. The part about lives being in risk was true... From a certain point of view, and the crew... Well... It had no crew, something made evident when it came to a stop on the peak of a rocky foothill overlooking a highway and then suddenly began to transform into a humanoid robot; such a radical shift in the vehicle's structure would have crushed and ground up anyone inside the thing and the lack of red, juicy paste dripping from the machine's joints is proof to the fact that it was indeed unmanned. The machine then puts a finger onto where it's ear, just like how a one would operate an earpiece and speaks in a low, rugged tone.

"I am in position."

"Copy Ramshot, the target's ETA is two kliks, over."

"Understood."

"Ramshot" removes his finger from his ear and then gets into prone position in order to properly stabilize himself for both the best possible aim and the massive recoil of the Railgun behind his right shoulder, which then telescoped out; exposing the massive weapon's handgrip, trigger and holographic targeting reticle. After he had prepared it's weapon, Ramshot waited, his body was so stiff and still; one could mistake the robot for a very complex statue. Two minutes passed until a sports car of European make raced into the empty highway, and emblazoned on it's bonnet is a highly stylized insignia of a robot's face; The sight caused the robotic sniper to finally move, but even then; the motions were incredibly difficult to notice, as they were only the narrowing of the machine's deep crimson optical sensors and a twitch of it's trigger finger.

"Hmmm..."

Waiting for a few more moments for the car to reach the stretch of road his reticle was locked on, Ramshot squeezes the trigger causing his body to dig into the dry earth and slide several inches backwards from the Railgun's monstrous recoil, if it wasn't for the fact that Ramshot was very used to the weapon's operation; Ramshot's shoulder would have hurt to the point that he would be unable to follow up with a second shot, fortunately for him; he didn't need to do so as he struck true and managed to blast the car clean in half, which he proceeded to report to the entity through the earpiece.

"Target is down."

"We confirmed the kill. Proceed to retrieve the package, over."

"Affirmative."

Without a word, the Robot stood up from prone position in order to transform back into a self-propelled gun and rolled towards the highway... Which was at least 5 miles from the foothill.


I certainly hope that was good enough for you guys...

Sounds good. With those changes made, I think we can call him approved. Rank 4, due to the low charisma combined with what I saw in his bio. You can go ahead and post his profile in the fanmade 'Cons section, make an entry in roll call and go and get him started aboard the Thanatos, either waking up in a CR chamber or already serving in some capacity. Capsize just got started there not long ago. Could be helpful in the getting started process if you guys' characters cross paths. Something to think about anyway. Have fun!

Name: Maxima
Allegiance: Autobot
Sub-group: Wight star squadron.
Function: Warrior
Alt. mode: Shelby GT 500. armored
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6n9Mrz8mJ6s/T ... CTuner.jpg
Weapons: Energo guan dao. twin energo bucklers
Special Abilities: none
Height: 25ft
Quote: " Kiss my axle."


Strength:6

Intelligence:5

Dexterity:6

Speed: 4

Endurance: 6

Courage: 5

Firepower: 3

Accuracy: 4

Melee: 7

Tech Skill:4

Charisma: 5

Rank: Determined by the staff.

Profile:
A former Gladiator Maxima often fought along side Megatron and even joined the Decepticons during the start of the greatwar as she had an enormous respect for Megatron as a fellow gladiator. this respect was short lived as she soon found his cruelty and lack of compassion an anathema to her own morality.
She still remained a loyal Decepticon as her code of honor would never allow her to turn against her comrades.
This was until Megatron began to question her loyalty and ordered her to execute civilians ( unaligned Cybertronians.)
She refused and was rewarded with a blast to the chest and to watch as the civilians were systematically executed in front of her.
She lay in a state of near death watching as those she attempted to save died.

Eventually she was saved from death buy an Autobot squad.
Her hatred for the Decepticons drove her to join the Autobots even though she dos not believe in they're cause or values.


Abilities:
Energo Guan dao.
She has no real abilities other than combat skills.

Weaknesses: Maxima prefers melee over ranged often leaving herself open to enemy fire her hatred for the decepticons often drives her to enter conflict.
Her altform is a muscle car despite its armor is slower than most other sports vehicles its noise makes it hard to sneak up on others.

Sample Post:

Maxima looked over the battlefield a smile formed slowly over her face.
" Combat its about time." she said to herself transforming.
" Some 'Con is about to die." She roared her airless tires screamed across the tarmac of the human city.
the light from the fires of the burning city casting dancing shadows on her blue paint.
The Decepticon turned upon hearing the huge noise of the engine.
It was to late the car transformed into a warrior silhouetted in the fires glow.
" Tell me your name so that i can carve it into your corps." She asked the Decepticon warrior.
" Your the traitor aren't you? " the Decepticon replied.
" That wasn't an answer." Maxima said redyeing her weapon its glowing blade reflecting over her silver face.
" Just attack i'm no conversationalist I'M TERMINUS MASTER OF DESTRUCTION. " The Decepticon warrior dove forward.
Maxims simply spun and stood still the huge frame of the other warrior falling to the ground.
" Pathetic."

Thank you for your great advice! Really, I am a story writer, I LOVE comments to help further my work. I had read over some older applications before mine before I did Ashes. As for my lack of patience, I sincerely apologize. I did not have a home computer and had no time to wait >w< and now I do!! YAY!! SO I will be as patient as needed. As for my "poor grammar" I read over my work, and I believe you are referring to my Transformer slang... Such as Berth meaning bed, Medbay meaning the medical room, slagg as slang and other words I don't remember, if those are not wanted then I totally understand, just understand that I Role Play with a close companion of mine and may slip; what you said over my to Femmes (robot females) has been taken to notice and I will try to do what I am told.


Railway

Allegiance: Decepticon (able to be converted)
Function: warrior
Alt.Mode: none
Height: 36'/ 10.9728
Weapons: mace, shackle mace, dual blade sword, three daggers, arm canon, two hand guns, mini daggers, shirukins (I can't find how to spell that ) grenades
Special Abilities: Due to her mass of weaponry, Railway can use almost any weapon you hand her, from a simple dagger, to a high-class canon.
Quote: "Who you want to be doesn't matter; its who you ARE at the moment that matters"

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 5
Endurance: 7
Courage: 7
Fire Power: 5
Accuracy: 6
Melee: 7
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 3

PROFILE: Railway has serious trust problems, she doesn't want to trust anyone (she's scared to get tricked), so gaining her trust and loyalty is EXTREMELY complicated... Yet Railway never wanted to be a Decepticon anyway; at least, that hadn't been her original plan. As for her temper, Railway has a pretty fair, maintained attitude (she's usually reserved). She isn't much of a talker, but if you get her to talk, you'll understand why she has her trust and loyalty issues...But you'd also see that Railway isn't an evil femm, she's just lost and feels unwanted, and uncared for and just needs someone to show her the way; just don't get pushy.

ABILITIES: Another advantage to her high weapon count, Railway can pierce her armor with...say a sword, the armor will react to this specific move by creating a holder from that particular part of her armor, and since her armor is heavy and thick, she hasn't to worry over her armor thinning out into nothing.

WEAKNESSES: Although she is a silent walker, Railway is no ninja, she is large and fairly clumsy; thus if put out for a mission like spy or sneak attack, Railway may not be the best of choices.

SAMPLE POST:

Con base; dark, cold, an autobots' worst nightmare. The glow of dark energon was everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, in Railway's beautiful lavender optics...Why was she here? Why was she in this? Well, her large yet femininely curved, dark, menacing silvery grey frame made a crummy first look impression; and she was harassed so much in training to be an autobot, that she finally dropped the thought, then she met the Decepticons.

"No more harassment... You'll be free of any judgement..." The words rang through her head with a beautiful ring; 'you'll be free of any judgement'... That's all she'd wanted, to be treated equal despite her size, or shape, or gender...just to be Railway...was that so much to ask?

"Of course it is you idiot" she snapped to herself coldly.
"You don't fit in, you're big, you don't look like them..." Her optics slowly gazed out of a window, out onto Cybertron's beautiful, lifeless shell; those femmes, the femmes she looked nothing like...Why couldn't she be like them? Why couldn't she look like that one fem? The pale yellow one with those chakrams? (I spelled chakrams correctly)

Railway didn't see it, but she was actually a gorgeous femme; she was bigger than the others, yes, but she had every slender curve, every beautiful feature every other fem had. Of course no one told her this, if they did, she might leave the cons. So Railway sat believing she was just some freak that didn't fit in anywhere she went, not even with the outcasts... Yet one day...One day she'd prove to those bot, one day...she would prove herself a worthy advisarry (not misspelled)...one day... the autobots would pay...This war would end with her finally being feared for the real reason, she started walking further into the shadows that reached for her mercilessly...

"My STRENGTH...."

I'll do my best with this gal, gotta have my back-up ready! hm... so many lol. (some of this is spelled correctly...so idk why it says it isn't -.o...also I found the vehicle mode online so... it should be right) Kaon: Decepticon Capitol

Starblaizer

Allegiance: Autobot
Function: Guard
Alt.Mode: Toyota FT-HS Hybrid Sports car
Height: 22'/6.7056
Weapon(s): Gold and silver chakrams, kunai knives, dual blades, three hand guns and fire
Special Abilities: Her chakrams are like boomerangs, they come back to her hands
Quote: "It's not over until you say it's over"

STRENGTH: 6
INTELLIGENCE: 7
DEXTERITY: 7
SPEED: 6
ENDURANCE: 7
COURAGE: 7
FIRE POWER: 5
ACCURACY: 4
MELEE: 7
TECH SKILL: 5
CHARISMA: 6

PROFILE: Starblaizer is a high level guard. Despite her young age and adorable attitude, Starblaizer is not a force to be reckoned with. Her high tolerance for others is amazingly high and it is quite easy to gain her trust and loyalty, yet if you loose that, it's like a fatality move you did to yourself. Starblaizer is easily befriended due to her high-class and great standards, she is funny, kind, and happy; yet, Star also knows her limits and embraces them. She has a long term rivalry with Railway (my other o.c) and most of her scars came from fights with that particular fem. Starblaizer prefers to work alone, but has to admit how lonely she gets as a one-man guard ALL THE TIME.

ABILITIES: Starblaizer is that fem that once you call, she's there; no need for worry, she'll be there no matter what situation she's caught in. Star is as reliable as they get for her Autobot companions and will always be by your side in a dire battle.

WEAKNESSES: Although it is good to forgive and trust, Star's fault is being too quick to forgive and/or trust, so if you bear that autobot insignia, you'll instantly gain this sweetheart's trust and loyalty (a.k.a GREAT DECEPTION HINT!!)

SAMPLE POST:

Her mechanical feet clanked against the cold, lifeless, Cybertron shell. Her breath, short and jagged. Her entire frame shaking with what humans refer to as adrenaline. Her mind whirred with fear, anger, irritation, RAGE! ...and... Sadness...She flung her arm ruthlessly at the fem in her sight range; just knock her down! That's all Star wanted, just to knock this fem down and to run away...Starblaizer hated fights; of course, this was war (go figure). Star watched as the fem dodged her flaming chakram with ease; anger and the slightest tinge of embarrassment flushed into Starblaizer's gym shirt-grey, metal face.

"WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!!?" Star's beautifully pale, yellow frame reflected every bit of light it caught; the tears, burns, and scratches about her frame and face weren't as noticeable as you'd think. She had two, tan-brown mixed sets of chains that dangled from her helm, which coressed the slender, and beautiful sides of her face. Her bright, Tidal Wave Blue optics flickered from her weakening strength; why wouldn't this fem leave her be?? What had Star done??

"Oh, if only it were THAT easy..." The shadowed fem began to approach Starblaizer, the canon on her large arm slowly rising to meet Star's face; Star felt her chest tighten in fright.

"W...Why isn't...it?" She tried to keep strong, but could hear the cold fear creeping into her gorgeously smooth tone voice. Her optics peered into the inside of that large canon.

"Because I HATE you." Star's optics widened and before the canon had its chance to blow, Star was back-flipping over her opponent, her audio receptors screeched with pain as the other fem roared with rage so loud, that Star's frame seemed to vibrate with the intensity. Star nimbly landed on her nimble feet and was off before the other fem could twitch.

" I ain't dying yet!!" With that, Star was far from the enemy's sight, and far from her home...Starblaizer was in... Kaon.

shortwave wrote:Name: Maxima
Allegiance: Autobot
Sub-group: Wight star squadron.
Function: Warrior
Alt. mode: Shelby GT 500. armored
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6n9Mrz8mJ6s/T ... CTuner.jpg
Weapons: Energo guan dao. twin energo bucklers
Special Abilities: none
Height: 25ft
Quote: " Kiss my axle."


Strength:6

Intelligence:5

Dexterity:6

Speed: 4

Endurance: 6

Courage: 5

Firepower: 3

Accuracy: 4

Melee: 7

Tech Skill:4

Charisma: 5

Rank: Determined by the staff.

Profile:
A former Gladiator Maxima often fought along side Megatron and even joined the Decepticons during the start of the greatwar as she had an enormous respect for Megatron as a fellow gladiator. this respect was short lived as she soon found his cruelty and lack of compassion an anathema to her own morality.
She still remained a loyal Decepticon as her code of honor would never allow her to turn against her comrades.
This was until Megatron began to question her loyalty and ordered her to execute civilians ( unaligned Cybertronians.)
She refused and was rewarded with a blast to the chest and to watch as the civilians were systematically executed in front of her.
She lay in a state of near death watching as those she attempted to save died.

Eventually she was saved from death buy an Autobot squad.
Her hatred for the Decepticons drove her to join the Autobots even though she dos not believe in they're cause or values.


Abilities:
Energo Guan dao.
She has no real abilities other than combat skills.

Weaknesses: Maxima prefers melee over ranged often leaving herself open to enemy fire her hatred for the decepticons often drives her to enter conflict.
Her altform is a muscle car despite its armor is slower than most other sports vehicles its noise makes it hard to sneak up on others.

Sample Post:

Maxima looked over the battlefield a smile formed slowly over her face.
" Combat its about time." she said to herself transforming.
" Some 'Con is about to die." She roared her airless tires screamed across the tarmac of the human city.
the light from the fires of the burning city casting dancing shadows on her blue paint.
The Decepticon turned upon hearing the huge noise of the engine.
It was to late the car transformed into a warrior silhouetted in the fires glow.
" Tell me your name so that i can carve it into your corps." She asked the Decepticon warrior.
" Your the traitor aren't you? " the Decepticon replied.
" That wasn't an answer." Maxima said redyeing her weapon its glowing blade reflecting over her silver face.
" Just attack i'm no conversationalist I'M TERMINUS MASTER OF DESTRUCTION. " The Decepticon warrior dove forward.
Maxims simply spun and stood still the huge frame of the other warrior falling to the ground.
" Pathetic."






WIP

First off...get rid of the image. It took several minutes just for the application page to load for me. I can't get on the page...I can't look at apps.

The application is denied as it stands. If you're still interested in playing this character then I suggest you re-read the rules, refer to some already approved applications to get an idea of just what we're looking for and re-apply.