Seibertron.com Energon Pub Forums

BubbleGum:Unlimited wrote::D Thank you for your great advice! Really, I am a story writer, I LOVE comments to help further my work. I had read over some older applications before mine before I did Ashes. As for my lack of patience, I sincerely apologize. I did not have a home computer and had no time to wait >w< and now I do!! YAY!! SO I will be as patient as needed. As for my "poor grammar" I read over my work, and I believe you are referring to my Transformer slang... Such as Berth meaning bed, Medbay meaning the medical room, slagg as slang and other words I don't remember, if those are not wanted then I totally understand, just understand that I Role Play with a close companion of mine and may slip; what you said over my to Femmes (robot females) has been taken to notice and I will try to do what I am told.


Railway

Allegiance: Decepticon (able to be converted)
Function: warrior
Alt.Mode: none
Height: 36'/ 10.9728
Weapons: mace, shackle mace, dual blade sword, three daggers, arm canon, two hand guns, mini daggers, shirukins (I can't find how to spell that ) grenades
Special Abilities: Due to her mass of weaponry, Railway can use almost any weapon you hand her, from a simple dagger, to a high-class canon.
Quote: "Who you want to be doesn't matter; its who you ARE at the moment that matters"

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 6
Speed: 5
Endurance: 7
Courage: 7
Fire Power: 5
Accuracy: 6
Melee: 7
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 3

PROFILE: Railway has serious trust problems, she doesn't want to trust anyone (she's scared to get tricked), so gaining her trust and loyalty is EXTREMELY complicated... Yet Railway never wanted to be a Decepticon anyway; at least, that hadn't been her original plan. As for her temper, Railway has a pretty fair, maintained attitude (she's usually reserved). She isn't much of a talker, but if you get her to talk, you'll understand why she has her trust and loyalty issues...But you'd also see that Railway isn't an evil femm, she's just lost and feels unwanted, and uncared for and just needs someone to show her the way; just don't get pushy.

ABILITIES: Another advantage to her high weapon count, Railway can pierce her armor with...say a sword, the armor will react to this specific move by creating a holder from that particular part of her armor, and since her armor is heavy and thick, she hasn't to worry over her armor thinning out into nothing.

WEAKNESSES: Although she is a silent walker, Railway is no ninja, she is large and fairly clumsy; thus if put out for a mission like spy or sneak attack, Railway may not be the best of choices.

SAMPLE POST:

Con base; dark, cold, an autobots' worst nightmare. The glow of dark energon was everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, in Railway's beautiful lavender optics...Why was she here? Why was she in this? Well, her large yet femininely curved, dark, menacing silvery grey frame made a crummy first look impression; and she was harassed so much in training to be an autobot, that she finally dropped the thought, then she met the Decepticons.

"No more harassment... You'll be free of any judgement..." The words rang through her head with a beautiful ring; 'you'll be free of any judgement'... That's all she'd wanted, to be treated equal despite her size, or shape, or gender...just to be Railway...was that so much to ask?

"Of course it is you idiot" she snapped to herself coldly.
"You don't fit in, you're big, you don't look like them..." Her optics slowly gazed out of a window, out onto Cybertron's beautiful, lifeless shell; those femmes, the femmes she looked nothing like...Why couldn't she be like them? Why couldn't she look like that one fem? The pale yellow one with those chakrams? (I spelled chakrams correctly)

Railway didn't see it, but she was actually a gorgeous femme; she was bigger than the others, yes, but she had every slender curve, every beautiful feature every other fem had. Of course no one told her this, if they did, she might leave the cons. So Railway sat believing she was just some freak that didn't fit in anywhere she went, not even with the outcasts... Yet one day...One day she'd prove to those bot, one day...she would prove herself a worthy advisarry (not misspelled)...one day... the autobots would pay...This war would end with her finally being feared for the real reason, she started walking further into the shadows that reached for her mercilessly...

"My STRENGTH...."

I'm afraid I'm going to have to deny Ashes and Railway. I was curious to see if revisions would make them more like what we're looking for in terms of fanmade characters and while it's closer, it's still not what we look for. Fanmade characters should be pretty basic and just blend in to the setting of the game. The more they stick out, via physical attributes, stats, special abilities and so on, the less likely they are to make it in the game. I would recommend if you want to get started in the game that you apply for a canon character first and get a feel for how the game flows and what sorts of characters are both in it and what they're doing on a post-to-post basis.

As to your posts themselves, I wasn't referring to use of slang, be it Earth or Cybertron. I was referring to the frequency of actual misspellings or grammar glitches that make a post hard to read. As an example from your above sample--

Yet one day...One day she'd prove to those bot, one day...she would prove herself a worthy advisarry (not misspelled)...one day...

The OOC comments tossed in to the midst of IC posts are unnecessary and the word that you indicated was not misspelled actually is. It's adversary, given the context of the sentence. Nothing major. Just one example of what I was referring to in my last review that would be caught by a spellcheck.

So, in a nutshell, I would put fanmades on the shelf for a while (you're not the first player to have had to do this) and go for a canon character. Get a feel for everything and you'll probably gain a better understanding of what the RPG is after in terms of characters.

Autoplex

Allegiance: Decepticons
Function: Warrior
Alt. Mode: Car
Weapons: Dual Energon Battle Pistols, Armblade
Special Abilities: None
Height: 25 ft.
Quote: "Spectacular technique. This fight might last long enough to entertain me."

STRENGTH: 3
INTELLIGENCE: 5
DEXTERITY: 9
SPEED: 8
ENDURANCE: 4
COURAGE: 8
FIREPOWER: 6
ACCURACY: 8
MELEE: 5
TECH SKILL: 4
CHARISMA: 7
RANK: ?

Profile: Once an Autobot during the war for Cybertron, now a warrior of the Decepticons, Autoplex still maintains some shred of what might be called honor. He takes pride in his martial skills, and rarely backs down from a challenge unless forced to by his superiors. He detests using underhanded tactics in a fight, believing that the Decepticons should prove their worth against the Autobots in honorable combat. Still, he is always eager to test himself in combat, in the hopes of becoming the greatest warrior to ever grace the forces of the Decepticons.

Despite being a Decepticon, Autoplex is surprisingly charismatic. He treats his opponents fairly and with respect, often trading witty barbs and even complimenting them. The fight is really one of the few things that he lives for, and so he always makes an effort to relish every battle that he is in. Therefore, it was no surprise that he left with Megatron for Earth.

Abilities: If there's one thing that Autoplex is, its fast. He isn't particularly strong, but he's always felt its better to hit than get hit. He prefers to move quickly and make fast strikes before darting back away from his enemy's response. He prefers to fight at a distance, making use of a pair of energon battle pistols to widdle his enemy down before finishing them off with his razor sharp armblade.

Weaknesses: When it comes to Autoplex, his greatest weakness is his pride. He can't turn down a challenge, and this often has a habit of causing trouble for both him and his allies. Also, trading off speed for strength, as well as having a less than durable frame, Autoplex has difficulty holding his own against enemies in close combat where he can't manuever and avoid their retribution.

Sample Post:

"You can't win, Decepticon. You're outnumbered and outgunned."

Autoplex rushed from behind a hulk of slagged metal that now served as cover, drawing his battle pistols and returning fire against the Autobots on the other side of the abandoned power station that they had been holding out in. So many things had changed, Cybertron had become a blasted heap in the wake of their battle, much of its once great beauty lost to the war. And here he was, fighting against his one time friends and allies, formidable warriors in their own right, and he longed to test himself against them now.

Accurate as he was, his shots kept his one time compatriots down behind cover, giving him time to transform, dropping into his more mobile form. Revving up to full speed, he dashed from side to side, his equally fast reaction time allowing him to swerve past debris and the burnt out husks of Autobots and Decepticons alike, closing the distance between him and his foes. As he beared down on them, he was almost giddy with excitement. After all, even he wasn't sure he could actually take them all out.

Launching off of a suitably inclined piece of wreckage, Autoplex transformed again, taking his shots at the first of his misguided brethren, energy blasts pounding into the Autobot's frame, knocking him off balance and leaving him open. Rolling to mitigate the damage from his inevitable fall, he landed infront of his wounded opponent, armblade releasing from Autoplex's forearm with an intimidating *SHINK* before being plunged into the hapless Autobot's chest.

"Apologies for this, friend. But I'm fairly certain you won't feel it."

As the rest of the Autobot soldiers began to react, Autoplex whirled around, servos straining against the weight of putting his recently scrapped foe between him and them, the impaled frame taking the brunt of their fire. The added weight of their weapons blasts was almost too much to bare, but he held on until he heard the telltale signs of overheating, tossing the now slagged heap to the side and rushing the two remaining Autobots.

Autoplex divided his attention, and his fire, opening up on them both, targeting their legs to knock them over. His battle tested accuracy didn't fale him, several pinpoint blasts taking their knees out from under them as he rushed in, armblade ready to take a few more Autobot sparks. Of course, had he not been so focused upon his supposed victory he might have noticed that one of them possessed a similarly integrated weapon.

Hit by a desperate swipe, Autoplex found himself on his back, immediately beset upon by his enemies. Raising his guns, he fired frantically until he reduced one of the Autobots to slag, turning to do the same to the other only to have his guns knocked from his hands by another vicious slash. Unarmed, the Decepticon warrior flung himself after them, reaching out for them as he felt the Autobot blade bury itself into his leg.

He let out an agonized howl, looking down as he saw the wound begin to leak, sparks firing wildly. Having some experience in giving enemies similar wounds, he was thankful that it wasn't as bad as it could've been. With his own fair amount of desperation, he reached out one last time, his fingers catching hold of the handle of his pistol, grabbing at it and turning just in time to press the barrel of it to the lunging Autobot's forehead.

"It was a pleasure doing battle with you."

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

Name: Wildfly
Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Monstructor Six
Function: Aerial Assault
Alternate Mode: Avian Monster
Weapon: Photon Rifle
Height: 26ft / 7.92m
Quote: “Strike fear into your enemy, and you've won half the battle.”


Strength: 6
Intelligence: 5
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 6
Endurance: 7
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 7
Tech Skill: 5
Charisma: 4
Rank: 6

Profile: Predictability is for other, more boring robots, as far as Wildfly is concerned. He prefers to live life from one moment to the next, acting out on whatever crazed impulses he may have at that instant and basically whirl around destroying everything in sight. Wildfly likes to think this makes him the “life of the party” who always does the unexpected; in fact, his behaviour is tiresome and obvious to all of his comrades. They know that Wildfly will pick the most base, violent thing to do in any circumstance, like suddenly flying off to clip the wings off a passing jet airliner he notices or demolishing a nearby office building in the middle of the unsuspecting humans' workday. Wildfly tops off his furious attacks with a cackling laughter, convinced that he just did something exceptionally clever. Only the most sparkless Decepticons can agree.

Abilities: Wildfly possesses slightly above-average strength. In avian monster mode, he can fly at a speed of 200 mph. In robot mode, he is armed with a specially designed photon rifle with laser-targeting for locking onto ground targets while soaring through the air. Wildfly joins with his team-mates to form Monstructor.

Weaknesses: Because of his impish nature, Wildfly often finds himself making poor decisions on the battlefield, as he'd much rather be “spontaneous” than follow orders already issued to him. Naturally, this attitude doesn't always fare too well during combat, leaving him susceptible to injuries he could otherwise avoid by using a little common sense.

Sample Post:

Seated at the edge of his cot with his digits interwoven and his thumb joints fluidly overlapping one another in a seemingly endless motion as if in pursuit of each other, Wildfly turned his cranial unit from left to right for what might had been the millionth time that solar cycle. And for that one millionth time, nothing exciting happened. It was the same old story, he mused, in the same old prison cell that constituted his same old life.

He had heard the expression to be “bored stiff”, but this was one of those occasions where Wildfly had convinced himself that he was balancing on the fine edge of being bored to death.

That particular thought summoned a bright smile on his face-plate and Wildfly filed that gem away into the vault of his memory banks, already prepared to whip it out at a moment's notice the next time he found himself in his team-mates' company.

Should he actually see any of them during the following activity cycle; that was neither a given nor a certainty. Maximus and his little bunch of drones appeared to be quite fond of separating the Monstercons, severing what limited contact the team enjoyed. Consequently, if Wildfly were to meet with any of his fellow Monstercons, he'd be greeted by one of them, two if fortune fell upon him.

Fortune. What was that? Wildfly was a prisoner stuck in one of the worst penitentiaries in the galaxy, with escape unanimously considered to be impossible, as laughable as defeating the entire Terrorcon unit in unarmed combat. Fortune, at Garrus-9, did not exist.

Still, Wildfly liked to hope that it would arrive eventually. Whether it assumed its form in either his sensational getaway, in the sudden decision to allow the inmates more freedom from their compact cells, or even by lending its assistance so Wildfly could slip a little something extra into Maximus's energon, he was all for it.

Wildfly ceased twiddling his thumb joints.

Until then, however...

To compensate for the lack of fidgeting, he began tapping his pedes on the steel floor, maintaining a gentle and constant rhythm.

All he could do was be patient.

“I'm so bored.”

And wait.

“So, so bored.”

And wait.

“Why is this joint so fragging boring? Frag!”

And wait.

AutopIex wrote:Autoplex

Allegiance: Decepticons
Function: Warrior
Alt. Mode: Car
Weapons: Dual Energon Battle Pistols, Armblade
Special Abilities: None
Height: 25 ft.
Quote: "Spectacular technique. This fight might last long enough to entertain me."

STRENGTH: 3
INTELLIGENCE: 5
DEXTERITY: 9
SPEED: 8
ENDURANCE: 4
COURAGE: 8
FIREPOWER: 6
ACCURACY: 8
MELEE: 5
TECH SKILL: 4
CHARISMA: 7
RANK: ?

Profile: Once an Autobot during the war for Cybertron, now a warrior of the Decepticons, Autoplex still maintains some shred of what might be called honor. He takes pride in his martial skills, and rarely backs down from a challenge unless forced to by his superiors. He detests using underhanded tactics in a fight, believing that the Decepticons should prove their worth against the Autobots in honorable combat. Still, he is always eager to test himself in combat, in the hopes of becoming the greatest warrior to ever grace the forces of the Decepticons.

Despite being a Decepticon, Autoplex is surprisingly charismatic. He treats his opponents fairly and with respect, often trading witty barbs and even complimenting them. The fight is really one of the few things that he lives for, and so he always makes an effort to relish every battle that he is in. Therefore, it was no surprise that he left with Megatron for Earth.

Abilities: If there's one thing that Autoplex is, its fast. He isn't particularly strong, but he's always felt its better to hit than get hit. He prefers to move quickly and make fast strikes before darting back away from his enemy's response. He prefers to fight at a distance, making use of a pair of energon battle pistols to widdle his enemy down before finishing them off with his razor sharp armblade.

Weaknesses: When it comes to Autoplex, his greatest weakness is his pride. He can't turn down a challenge, and this often has a habit of causing trouble for both him and his allies. Also, trading off speed for strength, as well as having a less than durable frame, Autoplex has difficulty holding his own against enemies in close combat where he can't manuever and avoid their retribution.

Sample Post:

"You can't win, Decepticon. You're outnumbered and outgunned."

Autoplex rushed from behind a hulk of slagged metal that now served as cover, drawing his battle pistols and returning fire against the Autobots on the other side of the abandoned power station that they had been holding out in. So many things had changed, Cybertron had become a blasted heap in the wake of their battle, much of its once great beauty lost to the war. And here he was, fighting against his one time friends and allies, formidable warriors in their own right, and he longed to test himself against them now.

Accurate as he was, his shots kept his one time compatriots down behind cover, giving him time to transform, dropping into his more mobile form. Revving up to full speed, he dashed from side to side, his equally fast reaction time allowing him to swerve past debris and the burnt out husks of Autobots and Decepticons alike, closing the distance between him and his foes. As he beared down on them, he was almost giddy with excitement. After all, even he wasn't sure he could actually take them all out.

Launching off of a suitably inclined piece of wreckage, Autoplex transformed again, taking his shots at the first of his misguided brethren, energy blasts pounding into the Autobot's frame, knocking him off balance and leaving him open. Rolling to mitigate the damage from his inevitable fall, he landed infront of his wounded opponent, armblade releasing from Autoplex's forearm with an intimidating *SHINK* before being plunged into the hapless Autobot's chest.

"Apologies for this, friend. But I'm fairly certain you won't feel it."

As the rest of the Autobot soldiers began to react, Autoplex whirled around, servos straining against the weight of putting his recently scrapped foe between him and them, the impaled frame taking the brunt of their fire. The added weight of their weapons blasts was almost too much to bare, but he held on until he heard the telltale signs of overheating, tossing the now slagged heap to the side and rushing the two remaining Autobots.

Autoplex divided his attention, and his fire, opening up on them both, targeting their legs to knock them over. His battle tested accuracy didn't fale him, several pinpoint blasts taking their knees out from under them as he rushed in, armblade ready to take a few more Autobot sparks. Of course, had he not been so focused upon his supposed victory he might have noticed that one of them possessed a similarly integrated weapon.

Hit by a desperate swipe, Autoplex found himself on his back, immediately beset upon by his enemies. Raising his guns, he fired frantically until he reduced one of the Autobots to slag, turning to do the same to the other only to have his guns knocked from his hands by another vicious slash. Unarmed, the Decepticon warrior flung himself after them, reaching out for them as he felt the Autobot blade bury itself into his leg.

He let out an agonized howl, looking down as he saw the wound begin to leak, sparks firing wildly. Having some experience in giving enemies similar wounds, he was thankful that it wasn't as bad as it could've been. With his own fair amount of desperation, he reached out one last time, his fingers catching hold of the handle of his pistol, grabbing at it and turning just in time to press the barrel of it to the lunging Autobot's forehead.

"It was a pleasure doing battle with you."

Let's start from the top...Just what kind of "car" does he transform into? Include his height in meters. You've only used 67 stat points so you have 3 points to distribute...I suggest upping his strength as 3 is considerably below average.

There a lot of characters that "were former Autobots who are now Decepticons" and if you still wish to go that route than I would like to know more about why he left...what were the circumstances?

I'm also a bit worried that with him throwing compliments and giving his opponents the benefit of the doubt with an honorable and fair fight might not sit very well with some other Decepticons. They might find it too Autobot like...which might turn them against him.

In his abilities section you'll need to add his top speed and his maximum range...which should coincide with his speed stat. A lot of what you've written in this section could be added to his profile. I also want to know more about his weapons...what can they do.? His armblade, how strong is it, how much damage can it inflict?

I'm also a bit confused...you mentioned in his weaknesses that he has a hard time holding his own in close combat which is why he prefers to move quickly, strike, and move again...but wouldn't that be a bit underhanded by not giving his opponent an opportunity to strike back before he'd move away? I understand his need to keep moving as he's not very strong, but him being an honorable warrior and not giving his enemy a fair fight is pretty contradictory.

Go through what I've mentioned, re-work it, re-post the whole application (please don't edit your original post) and I'll have another look.

Blades wrote:He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

Name: Wildfly
Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Monstructor Six
Function: Aerial Assault
Alternate Mode: Avian Monster
Weapon: Photon Rifle
Height: 26ft / 7.92m
Quote: “Strike fear into your enemy, and you've won half the battle.”


Strength: 6
Intelligence: 5
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 6
Endurance: 7
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 7
Tech Skill: 5
Charisma: 4
Rank: 6

Profile: Predictability is for other, more boring robots, as far as Wildfly is concerned. He prefers to live life from one moment to the next, acting out on whatever crazed impulses he may have at that instant and basically whirl around destroying everything in sight. Wildfly likes to think this makes him the “life of the party” who always does the unexpected; in fact, his behaviour is tiresome and obvious to all of his comrades. They know that Wildfly will pick the most base, violent thing to do in any circumstance, like suddenly flying off to clip the wings off a passing jet airliner he notices or demolishing a nearby office building in the middle of the unsuspecting humans' workday. Wildfly tops off his furious attacks with a cackling laughter, convinced that he just did something exceptionally clever. Only the most sparkless Decepticons can agree.

Abilities: Wildfly possesses slightly above-average strength. In avian monster mode, he can fly at a speed of 200 mph. In robot mode, he is armed with a specially designed photon rifle with laser-targeting for locking onto ground targets while soaring through the air. Wildfly joins with his team-mates to form Monstructor.

Weaknesses: Because of his impish nature, Wildfly often finds himself making poor decisions on the battlefield, as he'd much rather be “spontaneous” than follow orders already issued to him. Naturally, this attitude doesn't always fare too well during combat, leaving him susceptible to injuries he could otherwise avoid by using a little common sense.

Sample Post:

Seated at the edge of his cot with his digits interwoven and his thumb joints fluidly overlapping one another in a seemingly endless motion as if in pursuit of each other, Wildfly turned his cranial unit from left to right for what might had been the millionth time that solar cycle. And for that one millionth time, nothing exciting happened. It was the same old story, he mused, in the same old prison cell that constituted his same old life.

He had heard the expression to be “bored stiff”, but this was one of those occasions where Wildfly had convinced himself that he was balancing on the fine edge of being bored to death.

That particular thought summoned a bright smile on his face-plate and Wildfly filed that gem away into the vault of his memory banks, already prepared to whip it out at a moment's notice the next time he found himself in his team-mates' company.

Should he actually see any of them during the following activity cycle; that was neither a given nor a certainty. Maximus and his little bunch of drones appeared to be quite fond of separating the Monstercons, severing what limited contact the team enjoyed. Consequently, if Wildfly were to meet with any of his fellow Monstercons, he'd be greeted by one of them, two if fortune fell upon him.

Fortune. What was that? Wildfly was a prisoner stuck in one of the worst penitentiaries in the galaxy, with escape unanimously considered to be impossible, as laughable as defeating the entire Terrorcon unit in unarmed combat. Fortune, at Garrus-9, did not exist.

Still, Wildfly liked to hope that it would arrive eventually. Whether it assumed its form in either his sensational getaway, in the sudden decision to allow the inmates more freedom from their compact cells, or even by lending its assistance so Wildfly could slip a little something extra into Maximus's energon, he was all for it.

Wildfly ceased twiddling his thumb joints.

Until then, however...

To compensate for the lack of fidgeting, he began tapping his pedes on the steel floor, maintaining a gentle and constant rhythm.

All he could do was be patient.

“I'm so bored.”

And wait.

“So, so bored.”

And wait.

“Why is this joint so fragging boring? Frag!”

And wait.

What happened to The Time Warp?!

Very nice. Approved. Start him on G9...as if you didn't know. Hehe

Wow, I didn't even know this was here!

Afterburner

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Skyscorchers
Function: Technicians Master
Alternate Modes: Lockheed F-104G Starfighter
Weapons: Radar rifle, jet-mounted machine guns
Height: 27ft/ 8.2296m
Quote: “"Brute force is not my way. My technology can devise infinitely more successful, subtle, and unpleasant methods...".”


Strength: 8
Intelligence: 9
Dexterity: 7
Speed: 9
Endurance: 7
Courage: 9
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 3
Tech Skill: 8
Charisma: 4
Rank: 7

Profile: Afterburner is deadly, both on the battlefield and in his lab. Originally a weak scientist who learned at the Institute for Higher Programming, he upgraded himself several times before joining up with the Skyscorchers. Among them, he discovered he was a strong fighter, though he still worked in the lab. He is quiet, and may have plans to lead the team. Despite his battlefield progress, he has devoted his life to weapons design.

Abilities: The many upgrades he has subjected to himself to have substantially increased his firepower and strength. He is also highly intelligent, designing many weapons for the Decepticon Empire. His alt-mode grants him intense speed, and his high accuracy makes him a deadly force. He is assisted by his radar rifle, which disrupts circuitry, along with his jet-mounted machine guns. His scientific prowess enables him to occasionally assist the Decepticon medics.

Weaknesses: Afterburner is perennially lazy, refusing to follow orders often. This often leaves him out to the open, especially if his latest weapon fails. He often feels unappreciated, due to often being called to fix simple machines. Despite his high dexterity, he is inept at close quarters combat. He also despises his stupider teammates. He prefers his laboratory to the battlefield, which sometimes causes him to stop up when thrust into a firefight. His name is occasionally confused with the Technobot Afterburner, leading some fellow Decepticons to shoot at him when his name is called in the midst of battle.

Sample:

Afterburner twisted his hands in glee. This new weapon was coming along perfectly. A "saw gun", he called it, as it fired buzzsaw-like blades that could also be locked into the rifle, enabling a saw weapon. He lifted up the weapon, admiring it's potent ability.

Then the door exploded in gunfire as other Decepticons took cover in the lab. He heard someone call about an Autobot invasion. Screaming, he shot off the first weapon he could find...the saw gun. The blade spun a little, then backfired, the blade going through the back of the gun, lodging itself in the Skyscorcher's arm. Staring at his arm in shock, he was grabbed and forced behind cover by another Decepticon. Carefully extracting the blade from his arm, he winced with pain as he covered the wound until it stopped bleeding. Finally, he took out his gun, using his sole working arm to shoot over the cover, an upturned table.

"How could you let this happen, you idiots?!" the blue-and-yellow Lockheed snarled. The fortress was supposed to be impregnable, yet here an entire squad of Autobots was invading the science wing. They were in a mess, and he knew it.

phase wrote:Wow, I didn't even know this was here!

Afterburner

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Skyscorchers
Function: Technicians Master
Alternate Modes: Lockheed F-104G Starfighter
Weapons: Radar rifle, jet-mounted machine guns
Height: 27ft/ 8.2296m
Quote: “"Brute force is not my way. My technology can devise infinitely more successful, subtle, and unpleasant methods...".”


Strength: 8
Intelligence: 9
Dexterity: 7
Speed: 9
Endurance: 7
Courage: 9
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 3
Tech Skill: 8
Charisma: 4
Rank: 7

Profile: Afterburner is deadly, both on the battlefield and in his lab. Originally a weak scientist who learned at the Institute for Higher Programming, he upgraded himself several times before joining up with the Skyscorchers. Among them, he discovered he was a strong fighter, though he still worked in the lab. He is quiet, and may have plans to lead the team. Despite his battlefield progress, he has devoted his life to weapons design.

Abilities: The many upgrades he has subjected to himself to have substantially increased his firepower and strength. He is also highly intelligent, designing many weapons for the Decepticon Empire. His alt-mode grants him intense speed, and his high accuracy makes him a deadly force. He is assisted by his radar rifle, which disrupts circuitry, along with his jet-mounted machine guns. His scientific prowess enables him to occasionally assist the Decepticon medics.

Weaknesses: Afterburner is perennially lazy, refusing to follow orders often. This often leaves him out to the open, especially if his latest weapon fails. He often feels unappreciated, due to often being called to fix simple machines. Despite his high dexterity, he is inept at close quarters combat. He also despises his stupider teammates. He prefers his laboratory to the battlefield, which sometimes causes him to stop up when thrust into a firefight. His name is occasionally confused with the Technobot Afterburner, leading some fellow Decepticons to shoot at him when his name is called in the midst of battle.

Sample:

Afterburner twisted his hands in glee. This new weapon was coming along perfectly. A "saw gun", he called it, as it fired buzzsaw-like blades that could also be locked into the rifle, enabling a saw weapon. He lifted up the weapon, admiring it's potent ability.

Then the door exploded in gunfire as other Decepticons took cover in the lab. He heard someone call about an Autobot invasion. Screaming, he shot off the first weapon he could find...the saw gun. The blade spun a little, then backfired, the blade going through the back of the gun, lodging itself in the Skyscorcher's arm. Staring at his arm in shock, he was grabbed and forced behind cover by another Decepticon. Carefully extracting the blade from his arm, he winced with pain as he covered the wound until it stopped bleeding. Finally, he took out his gun, using his sole working arm to shoot over the cover, an upturned table.

"How could you let this happen, you idiots?!" the blue-and-yellow Lockheed snarled. The fortress was supposed to be impregnable, yet here an entire squad of Autobots was invading the science wing. They were in a mess, and he knew it.

Drop his Accuracy down to 7 and we can call him Approved. But be sure you turn off your sig when you post anywhere in the RPG.

Ember wrote:

phase wrote:Wow, I didn't even know this was here!

Afterburner

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Skyscorchers
Function: Technicians Master
Alternate Modes: Lockheed F-104G Starfighter
Weapons: Radar rifle, jet-mounted machine guns
Height: 27ft/ 8.2296m
Quote: “"Brute force is not my way. My technology can devise infinitely more successful, subtle, and unpleasant methods...".”


Strength: 8
Intelligence: 9
Dexterity: 7
Speed: 9
Endurance: 7
Courage: 9
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 3
Tech Skill: 8
Charisma: 4
Rank: 7

Profile: Afterburner is deadly, both on the battlefield and in his lab. Originally a weak scientist who learned at the Institute for Higher Programming, he upgraded himself several times before joining up with the Skyscorchers. Among them, he discovered he was a strong fighter, though he still worked in the lab. He is quiet, and may have plans to lead the team. Despite his battlefield progress, he has devoted his life to weapons design.

Abilities: The many upgrades he has subjected to himself to have substantially increased his firepower and strength. He is also highly intelligent, designing many weapons for the Decepticon Empire. His alt-mode grants him intense speed, and his high accuracy makes him a deadly force. He is assisted by his radar rifle, which disrupts circuitry, along with his jet-mounted machine guns. His scientific prowess enables him to occasionally assist the Decepticon medics.

Weaknesses: Afterburner is perennially lazy, refusing to follow orders often. This often leaves him out to the open, especially if his latest weapon fails. He often feels unappreciated, due to often being called to fix simple machines. Despite his high dexterity, he is inept at close quarters combat. He also despises his stupider teammates. He prefers his laboratory to the battlefield, which sometimes causes him to stop up when thrust into a firefight. His name is occasionally confused with the Technobot Afterburner, leading some fellow Decepticons to shoot at him when his name is called in the midst of battle.

Sample:

Afterburner twisted his hands in glee. This new weapon was coming along perfectly. A "saw gun", he called it, as it fired buzzsaw-like blades that could also be locked into the rifle, enabling a saw weapon. He lifted up the weapon, admiring it's potent ability.

Then the door exploded in gunfire as other Decepticons took cover in the lab. He heard someone call about an Autobot invasion. Screaming, he shot off the first weapon he could find...the saw gun. The blade spun a little, then backfired, the blade going through the back of the gun, lodging itself in the Skyscorcher's arm. Staring at his arm in shock, he was grabbed and forced behind cover by another Decepticon. Carefully extracting the blade from his arm, he winced with pain as he covered the wound until it stopped bleeding. Finally, he took out his gun, using his sole working arm to shoot over the cover, an upturned table.

"How could you let this happen, you idiots?!" the blue-and-yellow Lockheed snarled. The fortress was supposed to be impregnable, yet here an entire squad of Autobots was invading the science wing. They were in a mess, and he knew it.

Drop his Accuracy down to 7 and we can call him Approved. But be sure you turn off your sig when you post anywhere in the RPG.

Edited it, just for you!

Blitzwing
Blitzwing

Allegiance:Decepticons
Sub-group:None
Function: Commando
Alternate Modes:M1A2 Abrams as a tank and F-15E Strike Eagle as a jet fighter
Weapons:Gyro-blaster rifle, electron scimitar, heat seeking missiles, explosive shells

Special Abilities:
Height:33ft / 10.07m
Quote: “Destroy first, think later.”


Strength: 08
Intelligence: 06
Dexterity: 08
Speed: 09
Endurance: 08
Courage: 07
Firepower: 08
Accuracy: 08
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 05
Charisma: 05
Rank: 06

Profile: Even before he was retooled into a triplechanger, Blitzwing enjoyed a reputation as one of the most notorious killers in Megatron's burgeoning army. A veteran soldier of many campaigns, he was quickly assigned for commando duty, something he cherished in. Responsible of many atrocities towards Autobots and neutrals, like being part of the commando unit that destroyed Bluestreak's home city - Blitzwing quickly became one of the most hated and feared Decepticons. As a Triple Changer, Blitzwing's ability to rapidly transform from tank mode to jet fighter mode makes him one of the most lethally effective Decepticon warriors. Not only are foes confused by his talent, but rarely are they prepared to fight him in a second form after fighting him in the first one. And Blitzwing certainly relishes changing form. His favorite tactic is to dive at a target - living or otherwise - as a jet, change at the last moment to a tank, and then smash into the target just as he lands. This hardly ever fails to defeat a foe or amuse Blitzwing. He likes to think of himself as having a sense of humor, although the things that make him laugh are typically cruel and harmful to others. Loud-mouthed, belligerant and brash, Blitzwing has a cruel sense of humor especially toward his enemies, but generally gets along well with his fellow Decepticons, and even has his contemplative moments.

Abilities:As a jet fighter, Blitzwing can easily exceed the speed, maneuverability and range of an original human built F-15E Strike Eagle. He carries heat-seeking concussion missiles and machinegun. As a tank, he can traverse most terrain, however rugged, and can achieve a speed of 80 mph. His track-mounted cannon fires an explosive shell 10.5 miles that can level a 5-story brick building with ease. In addition he is also equipped with independently targetable machinegun. In robot mode he uses an electron scimitar which can short-circuit almost any electrical device with a touch of its blade, and a gyro-blaster rifle, which can be either used to disrupt the sense of balance of anyone it hits for 30 minutes or as regular heavy laser rifle. Blitzwing is incredibly strong and resistant to damage. He is also well trained in melee combat and is a capable shooter, especially in tank mode where he finds aiming more stable. Blitzwing is better shielded against electrical warfare than most transformers with addition of being equipped with camoflauge circuitry that allows him to blend into his surroundings as long as he moves extremely slowly.

Weaknesses:Blitzwing is one of the first triplechangers created by Shockwave. Unfortunately this means he suffers from some design glitches. The worst being that on a rare occasion Blitzwing can get his circuits scrambled, which results in him getting stuck in mid-transformation between forms. While undoubtedly powerful and durable, Blitzwing has made many enemies during his long career as a commando which is certain to give him trouble eventually. This has made Blitzwing somewhat paranoid, thus keeping his sensors on the edge all the time, particularly making his optical sensors vulnerable against light based attacks.

Same post:Deep in space a large ice meterstatue flys it way towards earth.A robotic creature only knows as Blitzwing.Blitzwing was frozen for several years,as frozen statue about to enter into the earth orbit.It begin to melt slowly due to the sun heat that was giving off.Upon reenterng the ice statue as large as it was breaking apart due to rentrance. After several minutes it crash landed on a millitary base destorying it completely.Only two thing that was left was one F-15 Silent eagle untouch,and a M1A2 Abrams tank.Form in the crater the remaning ice melt due to heat,and the explosive.

One large tranformer jump out the crater scaning the F-15 With ease then it tranform leaving the area as it was destroyed.Blitzwing begin to fly looking for a place to lay his head.He had landed in a unknown part of the world he goals are unknown.But he shall be fear or die trying.

Azazel wrote::CON: Blitzwing
Blitzwing

Allegiance:Decepticons
Sub-group:None
Function: Commando
Alternate Modes:M1A2 Abrams as a tank and F-15E Strike Eagle as a jet fighter
Weapons:Gyro-blaster rifle, electron scimitar, heat seeking missiles, explosive shells

Special Abilities:
Height:33ft / 10.07m
Quote: “Destroy first, think later.”


Strength: 08
Intelligence: 06
Dexterity: 08
Speed: 09
Endurance: 08
Courage: 07
Firepower: 08
Accuracy: 08
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 05
Charisma: 05
Rank: 06

Profile: Even before he was retooled into a triplechanger, Blitzwing enjoyed a reputation as one of the most notorious killers in Megatron's burgeoning army. A veteran soldier of many campaigns, he was quickly assigned for commando duty, something he cherished in. Responsible of many atrocities towards Autobots and neutrals, like being part of the commando unit that destroyed Bluestreak's home city - Blitzwing quickly became one of the most hated and feared Decepticons. As a Triple Changer, Blitzwing's ability to rapidly transform from tank mode to jet fighter mode makes him one of the most lethally effective Decepticon warriors. Not only are foes confused by his talent, but rarely are they prepared to fight him in a second form after fighting him in the first one. And Blitzwing certainly relishes changing form. His favorite tactic is to dive at a target - living or otherwise - as a jet, change at the last moment to a tank, and then smash into the target just as he lands. This hardly ever fails to defeat a foe or amuse Blitzwing. He likes to think of himself as having a sense of humor, although the things that make him laugh are typically cruel and harmful to others. Loud-mouthed, belligerant and brash, Blitzwing has a cruel sense of humor especially toward his enemies, but generally gets along well with his fellow Decepticons, and even has his contemplative moments.

Abilities:As a jet fighter, Blitzwing can easily exceed the speed, maneuverability and range of an original human built F-15E Strike Eagle. He carries heat-seeking concussion missiles and machinegun. As a tank, he can traverse most terrain, however rugged, and can achieve a speed of 80 mph. His track-mounted cannon fires an explosive shell 10.5 miles that can level a 5-story brick building with ease. In addition he is also equipped with independently targetable machinegun. In robot mode he uses an electron scimitar which can short-circuit almost any electrical device with a touch of its blade, and a gyro-blaster rifle, which can be either used to disrupt the sense of balance of anyone it hits for 30 minutes or as regular heavy laser rifle. Blitzwing is incredibly strong and resistant to damage. He is also well trained in melee combat and is a capable shooter, especially in tank mode where he finds aiming more stable. Blitzwing is better shielded against electrical warfare than most transformers with addition of being equipped with camoflauge circuitry that allows him to blend into his surroundings as long as he moves extremely slowly.

Weaknesses:Blitzwing is one of the first triplechangers created by Shockwave. Unfortunately this means he suffers from some design glitches. The worst being that on a rare occasion Blitzwing can get his circuits scrambled, which results in him getting stuck in mid-transformation between forms. While undoubtedly powerful and durable, Blitzwing has made many enemies during his long career as a commando which is certain to give him trouble eventually. This has made Blitzwing somewhat paranoid, thus keeping his sensors on the edge all the time, particularly making his optical sensors vulnerable against light based attacks.

Same post:Deep in space a large ice meterstatue flys it way towards earth.A robotic creature only knows as Blitzwing.Blitzwing was frozen for several years,as frozen statue about to enter into the earth orbit.It begin to melt slowly due to the sun heat that was giving off.Upon reenterng the ice statue as large as it was breaking apart due to rentrance. After several minutes it crash landed on a millitary base destorying it completely.Only two thing that was left was one F-15 Silent eagle untouch,and a M1A2 Abrams tank.Form in the crater the remaning ice melt due to heat,and the explosive.

One large tranformer jump out the crater scaning the F-15 With ease then it tranform leaving the area as it was destroyed.Blitzwing begin to fly looking for a place to lay his head.He had landed in a unknown part of the world he goals are unknown.But he shall be fear or die trying.

Blitzwing is currently active in the game. Feel free to poke through the character roster and find one of the ones that is either explicitly available or is listed as NPC-available. Either batch are free to be applied for.

And when you do post a new application, please utilize a spellcheck as it will catch a lot of what I saw in your sample post above and make it easier to read and give us a better sense of what you bring to the character you're applying for.