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Disregard this app.
I realized that Gamma really didn't work for me as a character.

Whoops.

CombaticonsCombine? wrote:Gamma

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: None
Function: Enforcer
Alternate Modes: Cybertronian Howitzer
Weapons: Arm Cannon, Missile pods (Hidden in back)
Special Abilities: Immense strength, can generate minor earthquakes
Height: 36 ft./10.97
Quote: “Peace shall be upheld."


Strength: 9
Intelligence: 4
Dexterity: 3
Speed: 3
Endurance: 8
Courage: 9
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 6
Melee: 9
Tech Skill: 3
Charisma: 3
Rank: (Assigned by RPG mods.)

Profile:

Gamma was once considered one of the most loyal Autobots, willing to sacrifice anything for the cause. Unfortunately, this led to him being willing to sacrifice others. Gamma was discharged from the Autobots, and due to how much destruction he was capable of causing, sent to an uninhabited part of Cybertron to wander. However, he was found by the Decepticons soon after. Seeing that he lacked a purpose, they tricked him into believing that the Decepticons were the true heroes, and the Autobots were the oppressors. Once he "saw the truth", Gamma gladly joined the Decepticon cause as an enforcer for their rule and as a seemingly unstoppable warrior. He is barely sentient, closer resembling a drone in behavior. Due to this, and his single-minded obedience to the cause, he has very low intelligence. As such, he only responds to simple commands.

Gamma is very large, with a torso similar to Warpath's. However, his is black and his cannon is twin barreled. His upper arms are dark grey, his forearms a dark crimson. His upper legs are dark grey, with the same crimson color on his feet and lower legs. His hands are black. His forearms are very bulky, lending to incredibly strong punches. His head is similar in construction to Vortex's, being dark crimson with a blank white visor. He has two vents on his shoulders, one on his torso, and one on the back of his neck. In battle platform mode, he is large enough for four Cybertronians to use. His legs split into four as supports, with his arms on the sides, cannons extended.


Abilities:

Gamma's large size in both Howitzer and robot mode lend him great physical strength and resilience. He has a large arm cannon hidden in either arm, and missiles hidden in racks in his back. His Howitzer mode is also capable of underwater and airborne attacks.

Weaknesses:

Due to his low intelligence, he is easily tricked into making simple but costly mistakes. As such, he is kept in reserve as a guard and enforcer unless absolutely necessary. Also, he requires large amounts of vents throughout his body to cool his internal and weapons systems. If these vents (two on his shoulders, one on his chest, and on the back of his head) are covered for long enough, he will overheat. Also, his missiles, if set off while inside of him, will greatly damage him from within.

Sample Post:

The Autobot patrol squad was speeding along on the red surface of Pender IX, avoiding the strange wildlife and plantlife, such as immense spiders made of liquid metal and crystal. They had been sent to investigate rumors of Autobot outposts being wiped out seemingly overnight. The lead 'Bot, Overheat, skidded to a halt and transformed.

"By PRIMUS."

Overheat looked down into the crater. There were corpses and huge chunks of scarred metal everywhere, with huge blast marks covering the ground. The group was about to jump down to investigate, when they heard screaming. "HELP! HEEELP!" A single bot came sprinting out of a nearby forest. "RUN! YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!", the bot shouted as he ran past. "What was that all about?" asked Overheat's second-in-command, Thunderbank. "I don't know." Then they heard the footsteps. Huge and thundering. Minutes passed...There was one more thud and then silence. They looked into the forest. One of them looked at the ground, and then they realized the noise was coming from--"IT'S ABOVE--*!" yelled Thunderbank as a giant robot landed on him from above. The smoke from Thunderbank's spark exploding masked whatever had landed on him. Overheat turned to his soldiers. "Circle the cloud! We'll move in from all angles!"

It soon became apparent that wouldn't be needed, as the robot slowly lumbered out of the smoke. It towered over all of them, blank visor staring down at them. "Gamma, activated. Hostiles detected. Recommended course of action is complete termination." Overheat didn't even see the missile fly from the giant's back until it careened into another scout. "Scatter!" he shouted. It was too late, as the robot picked up another Autobot, and smashed him into another. Gamma stepped onto the remaining scout, and turned to Overheat. Two large cannons unfolded from his dark crimson gauntlets. He aimed at Overheat.


"The peace must be upheld."

Okay, where to start? This is my first time judging an app so bare with me.

There are several things that need to be addressed before it can be approved. I’ll start with the technical issues first. The height cap on fanmades is 32 feet, so you’ll need to drop his height to at least that or lower. You’ve got three stats of 9 and the rules say you can only have one stat at that level. So two of them will have to be dropped to at least 8. I will leave it up to you which ones you want to drop. You did seem to apply a 5 point penalty for your earthquake powers so that’s okay.

Now, on to my non-technical concerns. You mention that he has the power to create minor earthquakes, but you don’t go into detail in the abilities section on exactly how he does this. Does he simply stomp his foot hard and make the ground shake or does he have some kind of internal seismic device that causes quakes? There needs to be some kind of detail on how this works.

You describe him as being barely sentient with low intelligence that only responds to simple commands, very much like a drone. Yet, your intelligence stat is 4. Now, while that is below average, it’s doesn’t really come close to being drone-like. Even if you lower that stat to a 3 (which is the lowest a fanmade can go) that’s still not a drone or barely sentient. For instance, Cutthroat has an intelligence level of 4 and he’s smarter than a drone. Another example is Blot, who is a 2, but I wouldn’t categorize him as a drone either. Although, he’s pretty close. In order for your character to be at the level you describe he’d need to be at a 1 and that’s not allowed under the current rules. 3 is the limit.

Your sample post is not bad, but it seems to focus more on the bots than it does Gamma, himself. I get why that is because Gamma as written is very much a mindless creation just carrying out instructions. He even talks like a computer and displays very little personality. I think that may be my main problem with him. Being that he’s so much like a drone, his personality is severely lacking. I can’t really see him interacting with anyone else as he would likely not have anything to add to any kind of conversation. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t see that being very fun to play in all honesty.

If you want Gamma to be dumb that’s fine, but you need to eliminate the drone and non-sentient qualities from your profile. At an intelligence stat of 3 or 4 he’s not a drone. He would be more like Sludge (who’s also a 3). Thus, if he’s not a drone, he needs some more personality given to him. I like the fact that he was once an Autobot who was too violent and sacrificed others and thus thrown out, which led him to become a con. Maybe build on that a little. Who did he sacrifice? Was it other Autobots or perhaps civilian mechs? Also, how do other cons view him? Do they make fun of his low intelligence thus making feel alone? Does he have any friends? Does he ever have regrets about becoming a con? Stuff like that.

Furthermore, when you redo his sample post, tell it from Gamma’s point of view instead of the bots. What’s he thinking when he’s carrying out orders? What’s it like for him to be shooting at Autobots when they used to be his comrades? Does he have any feelings in that regard at all or has he suppressed those feelings under that tough exterior? These are the types of things that would make the character more interesting even with low intelligence.

Also, as a rule of thumb, when you write dialogue and you are changing from one character talking to another, it's a good idea to start a new paragraph, leaving an empty line in between, as it makes reading each mech's words easier and not so run together. You have several bots talking to one another in one long paragraph and it was a bit hard to keep straight. Just a suggestion.

So, think about what I’ve laid out and make the necessary changes I’ve suggested. Then repost the app, and we’ll have another look at it.

Name: Iguanus
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Terrorist
Alternate Mode: Cybertronian Motorcycle
Weapons: Air Blaster, Spinning Blades, Hypnobeams
Height: 28 ft / 8.53 m
Quote: “Sow the seeds of fear and victory is yours.”


Strength: 8
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 5
Endurance: 9
Courage: 9
Firepower: 7
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 7
Rank: 6

Profile: [From the Datatracks of Iguanus, Decepticon Terrorist]
Let me begin by stating that I do not need somebody else telling you my details. What an insult that is, to have another mechanoid, another bumbling fool ruining my profile. I am fully capable of doing this myself, for there is no one better—certainly nobody greater—than me suited to the task of speaking about my being. I'll not accept an idiotic misinterpretation of my traits, and I will not tolerate a mundane advertisement of my abilities. Absolutely not.

Shall we, then? Excellent decision. I thought as much.

Fear is my weapon, my speciality, my love. It's as obvious as the Decepticon insignia I wear upon my chest-plate. I breed fear whenever I can, spreading its taint to all those around me whether they are friend or foe, delighting in the results it achieves. The aghast expressions locked on my victims' face-plates, the subsequent trembling that takes them, the paralysis that renders flight an impossibility—they are just sweet samples of what fear can do.

It's funny, you know. The Autobots consider themselves as brave and noble and heroic, such magnificent pillars of golden light bringing peace and goodness to a dark and dirty galaxy. Or something stupidly poetic like that. But here is the funny part: once they've had the pleasure of meeting me, all that bravery and nobility and heroic nonsense gives way to fear. It all vanishes, dies off, leaving in its place nobodys and nothings, pathetic husks of scrap that make me smile and laugh. And I'm still smiling and laughing as I kill them, the shock and fright I witness a reward for a job well done.

Of course, appearance plays an important role when it comes to fear, and I owe credit to the many species of reptiles I've been so fortunate to encounter on the many worlds I have visited. Encounters that had led to a bond, an affinity with these lovely creatures. An affinity that has led to body modifications, to honour and cherish my rapport with my reptiles. Not even my closest comrades like Bomb-Burst (though I am stretching the definition of closest comrades) understand the relationship between me and my reptiles, but then I never expected him to. However, what they do understand—what every soul who knows me understands—is that I am exceptionally skilled at generating fear and wielding it as a master swordsmech would with his blade.

Ask any corpse I've left behind. If you couldn't already notice the terror etched on his features.

Abilities: Iguanus's optics boast hypnobeams that can override some targets' willpower and temporarily program them with new directives of his choosing. He is armed with an air blaster that shoots pressurised air with as much force as a hurricane; this weapon is accessible in all modes. In vehicle mode, motorcycle wheels have retractable spinning blades that can slice through armour. With significant finesse, Iguanus uses them as a hand-to-hand weapon when the opportunity arises. His internal mechanisms can generate an equilibrium distorting effect that strikes targets with intense vertigo. He is extremely strong, resistant to damage, and skilled as a warrior.

Weaknesses: Iguanus suffers from no known physical weaknesses, but his arrogance can affect him and make him vulnerable in combat.

Drop Bear wrote:Name: Iguanus
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Terrorist
Alternate Mode: Cybertronian Motorcycle
Weapons: Air Blaster, Spinning Blades, Hypnobeams
Height: 28 ft / 8.53 m
Quote: “Sow the seeds of fear and victory is yours."


Strength: 8
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 5
Endurance: 9
Courage: 9
Firepower: 7
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 7
Rank: 6

Profile: [From the Datatracks of Iguanus, Decepticon Terrorist]
Let me begin by stating that I do not need somebody else telling you my details. What an insult that is, to have another mechanoid, another bumbling fool ruining my profile. I am fully capable of doing this myself, for there is no one better—certainly nobody greater—than me suited to the task of speaking about my being. I'll not accept an idiotic misinterpretation of my traits, and I will not tolerate a mundane advertisement of my abilities. Absolutely not.

Shall we, then? Excellent decision. I thought as much.

Fear is my weapon, my speciality, my love. It's as obvious as the Decepticon insignia I wear upon my chest-plate. I breed fear whenever I can, spreading its taint to all those around me whether they are friend or foe, delighting in the results it achieves. The aghast expressions locked on my victims' face-plates, the subsequent trembling that takes them, the paralysis that renders flight an impossibility—they are just sweet samples of what fear can do.

It's funny, you know. The Autobots consider themselves as brave and noble and heroic, such magnificent pillars of golden light bringing peace and goodness to a dark and dirty galaxy. Or something stupidly poetic like that. But here is the funny part: once they've had the pleasure of meeting me, all that bravery and nobility and heroic nonsense gives way to fear. It all vanishes, dies off, leaving in its place nobodys and nothings, pathetic husks of scrap that make me smile and laugh. And I'm still smiling and laughing as I kill them, the shock and fright I witness a reward for a job well done.

Of course, appearance plays an important role when it comes to fear, and I owe credit to the many species of reptiles I've been so fortunate to encounter on the many worlds I have visited. Encounters that had led to a bond, an affinity with these lovely creatures. An affinity that has led to body modifications, to honour and cherish my rapport with my reptiles. Not even my closest comrades like Bomb-Burst (though I am stretching the definition of closest comrades) understand the relationship between me and my reptiles, but then I never expected him to. However, what they do understand—what every soul who knows me understands—is that I am exceptionally skilled at generating fear and wielding it as a master swordsmech would with his blade.

Ask any corpse I've left behind. If you couldn't already notice the terror etched on his features.

Abilities: Iguanus's optics boast hypnobeams that can override some targets' willpower and temporarily program them with new directives of his choosing. He is armed with an air blaster that shoots pressurised air with as much force as a hurricane; this weapon is accessible in all modes. In vehicle mode, motorcycle wheels have retractable spinning blades that can slice through armour. With significant finesse, Iguanus uses them as a hand-to-hand weapon when the opportunity arises. His internal mechanisms can generate an equilibrium distorting effect that strikes targets with intense vertigo. He is extremely strong, resistant to damage, and skilled as a warrior.

Weaknesses: Iguanus suffers from no known physical weaknesses, but his arrogance can affect him and make him vulnerable in combat.

Even though there was already an approved profile for this guy (yours I believe), I really like this version better. The way you told it from Iguanus' perspective was very cool and different. Nice job!

Approved! Post the new profile in the Decepticon profile section and update your roll call accordingly. Enjoy!

I've seen that Sinnertwin can be applied for; however, if this is not the case, I can easily apply for another character.

Sinnertwin

Allegiance: Decepticons
Sub-group: Terrorcons
Function: Sentry
Alternate Modes: Two Headed Hellhound
Weapons: Flamethrowers, Rocketgrenade Launcher
Special Abilities: Unknown or none
Height: 33ft/ 10,07m
Quote: “The sound of ripping metal is music to my audio modules."


Strength: 09
Intelligence: 06
Dexterity: 07
Speed: 03
Endurance: 09
Courage: 06
Firepower: 07
Accuracy: 07
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 06
Charisma: 05
Rank: 05

Profile: [Intelligence Report C121735: Punch, Autobot Undercover Agent] Subject T105, aka Sinnertwin - is a troublemaker with cruel taste of humour. Just guarding an installation is not enough for Sinnertwin; the subject wants to seek out potential problems and destroy them before they even approach whatever he is guarding. Destruction brings him a singular pleasure, and he actually enjoys ensuring his job is done right. The subject loves to out do the other Terrorcons, and is always the first to volunteer for a mission. Not too surprisingly, other Terrorcons are not too happy about this behavior, although Hun-Grrr seems to find it amusing. When it comes to tough situations however, the subject is also the first Terrorcon to run away. Sinnertwin possess one of the most advanced tracking modules I have witnessed being used and it is no consequence that the subject's keen senses are often used for tracking Autobots, renegade Decepticons or any other possible preys. More than often his reward is to eliminate his prey, something this monster enjoys all too much. To rip large metal objects to shreds seems to please the subject more than anything else, and often the subject is known for tearing into the remains fallen enemies long before the battle has been won by the Decepticons. Hun-Grrr and the others seem to be impressed with his dedication but could clearly do without his tendency to pace and complain when he's not doing something he finds exciting.

Abilities: In creature mode the subject has a powerful flamethrower in both of his mouths that can melt an average Cybertronian into slag in seconds. In robot mode he uses armor-piercing rocketgrenade launcher but he is also able to use this weapon in creature mode as well. The pronghorns, teeth and claws of his strange creature mode can pierce through practically any substance. The subject is particularly dangerous in melee combat in his both modes and Autobots encountering this Terrorcon are recommended to deal with him from range. Although, like with the other Terrorcons, this is easier said than done.

Weaknesses: Rather curiously, Sinnertwin seems to be almost comically afraid of small creatures, organic and otherwise. The subject hates anything small and moving, refusing to go near them. Instead, he prefers trying to shoot them from the distance. This is particularly useful information as the subject is a deathly warrior difficult to deal with in normal situations.

Sample Post:

“Sinnertwin,” Hun-Grrr had snarled in a dangerously low tone, almost like a threat. “Stay here and guaaarrrd the ship. This won't take long...”

That was Hun-Grrr's order, contained in a single sentence. Simple and succinct, Sinnertwin had dipped his bestial heads to acknowledge he understood – and would execute to perfection – his master's instruction. Obedience was a quality that held as much value as strength and ferocity did, perhaps even more so. Perhaps it even superseded the two.

With the hierarchy firmly fixed in place, meaning Hun-Grrr was the boss, the alpha leader, and the rest of the Terrorcons assuming positions below him as his minions, loyalty alone carried with it its own rewards. One of those rewards presented immunity to a verbal or physical assault to its receiver. Most often, punishment was meted out when orders were disobeyed – or when they were failed so catastrophically that a beating was required to make certain failure wouldn't be met again.

Cutthroat had violated their master's authority yet again. He was also violating the inhabitants of the jungle world, Gorlan Thrax, thrashing stomping, slicing and tearing his maniacal way through the barbarian tribes, despite what Hun-Grrr had told the Terrorcons prior to arriving at their preordained destination: which had been to not engage until the signal was given. He would be dragged back to the ship by his neck, broken, leaking energon, and in a state closer to death than life, if generosity decided to touch their master. But it might not on this occasion.

So he was in trouble, as usual. As always. The psychotic fool.

But Sinnertwin... He was performing his duty to a level few could reach. Trampling the thick vegetation underfoot as he pursued a trio of barbarians he had spotted venturing near the shuttle, he had roared his challenge to the pieces of organic filth and given chase. Possessed of long limbs, muscular frames and agility, the barbarians fled immediately, offering the sentry a tantalising treat to the boredom that had been bothering him.

They would not escape Sinnertwin. They would not survive for daring to indulge their curiosity by spying on the Terrorcons' ship. Hun-Grrr's order was clear, and Sinnertwin would show him how well he would do his duty. And, as an added bonus, he would show his fellow Terrorcons how to properly follow orders, thus proving his obedience and efficiency – unlike Cutthroat.

Because a job done right was a job worth doing. And he liked his job. It was fun. It afforded him grisly opportunities at times. And surprises. He liked surprises. They generally involved the slaughtering of enemies.

“Run! Run! Run as fast as you can!” Sinnertwin laughed, his dual heads creating an ominous sound that meshed eerily together. “Keep going! Keep going! I don't want the fun to end just yet!”

Hun-Grrr would return to the shuttle soon, but not before Sinnertwin had terminated the intruders first. That was a guarantee, a promise, a fact. He took his duty seriously, more earnestly than any of his monstrous brethren claimed to do. Of course, like any enthusiastic killer, he cackled like a lunatic when he ripped apart his prey, relishing in the screams and gore he produced, but nothing would stop him from completing his job. Nothing ever did, as Sinnertwin mixed business with pleasure to a standard that allowed him to operate both joyfully and ruthlessly.

As these poor creatures were about to find out.

Sleek wrote:I've seen that Sinnertwin can be applied for; however, if this is not the case, I can easily apply for another character.

Sinnertwin

Allegiance: Decepticons
Sub-group: Terrorcons
Function: Sentry
Alternate Modes: Two Headed Hellhound
Weapons: Flamethrowers, Rocketgrenade Launcher
Special Abilities: Unknown or none
Height: 33ft/ 10,07m
Quote: “The sound of ripping metal is music to my audio modules."


Strength: 09
Intelligence: 06
Dexterity: 07
Speed: 03
Endurance: 09
Courage: 06
Firepower: 07
Accuracy: 07
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 06
Charisma: 05
Rank: 05

Profile: [Intelligence Report C121735: Punch, Autobot Undercover Agent] Subject T105, aka Sinnertwin - is a troublemaker with cruel taste of humour. Just guarding an installation is not enough for Sinnertwin; the subject wants to seek out potential problems and destroy them before they even approach whatever he is guarding. Destruction brings him a singular pleasure, and he actually enjoys ensuring his job is done right. The subject loves to out do the other Terrorcons, and is always the first to volunteer for a mission. Not too surprisingly, other Terrorcons are not too happy about this behavior, although Hun-Grrr seems to find it amusing. When it comes to tough situations however, the subject is also the first Terrorcon to run away. Sinnertwin possess one of the most advanced tracking modules I have witnessed being used and it is no consequence that the subject's keen senses are often used for tracking Autobots, renegade Decepticons or any other possible preys. More than often his reward is to eliminate his prey, something this monster enjoys all too much. To rip large metal objects to shreds seems to please the subject more than anything else, and often the subject is known for tearing into the remains fallen enemies long before the battle has been won by the Decepticons. Hun-Grrr and the others seem to be impressed with his dedication but could clearly do without his tendency to pace and complain when he's not doing something he finds exciting.

Abilities: In creature mode the subject has a powerful flamethrower in both of his mouths that can melt an average Cybertronian into slag in seconds. In robot mode he uses armor-piercing rocketgrenade launcher but he is also able to use this weapon in creature mode as well. The pronghorns, teeth and claws of his strange creature mode can pierce through practically any substance. The subject is particularly dangerous in melee combat in his both modes and Autobots encountering this Terrorcon are recommended to deal with him from range. Although, like with the other Terrorcons, this is easier said than done.

Weaknesses: Rather curiously, Sinnertwin seems to be almost comically afraid of small creatures, organic and otherwise. The subject hates anything small and moving, refusing to go near them. Instead, he prefers trying to shoot them from the distance. This is particularly useful information as the subject is a deathly warrior difficult to deal with in normal situations.

Sample Post:

“Sinnertwin," Hun-Grrr had snarled in a dangerously low tone, almost like a threat. “Stay here and guaaarrrd the ship. This won't take long..."

That was Hun-Grrr's order, contained in a single sentence. Simple and succinct, Sinnertwin had dipped his bestial heads to acknowledge he understood – and would execute to perfection – his master's instruction. Obedience was a quality that held as much value as strength and ferocity did, perhaps even more so. Perhaps it even superseded the two.

With the hierarchy firmly fixed in place, meaning Hun-Grrr was the boss, the alpha leader, and the rest of the Terrorcons assuming positions below him as his minions, loyalty alone carried with it its own rewards. One of those rewards presented immunity to a verbal or physical assault to its receiver. Most often, punishment was meted out when orders were disobeyed – or when they were failed so catastrophically that a beating was required to make certain failure wouldn't be met again.

Cutthroat had violated their master's authority yet again. He was also violating the inhabitants of the jungle world, Gorlan Thrax, thrashing stomping, slicing and tearing his maniacal way through the barbarian tribes, despite what Hun-Grrr had told the Terrorcons prior to arriving at their preordained destination: which had been to not engage until the signal was given. He would be dragged back to the ship by his neck, broken, leaking energon, and in a state closer to death than life, if generosity decided to touch their master. But it might not on this occasion.

So he was in trouble, as usual. As always. The psychotic fool.

But Sinnertwin... He was performing his duty to a level few could reach. Trampling the thick vegetation underfoot as he pursued a trio of barbarians he had spotted venturing near the shuttle, he had roared his challenge to the pieces of organic filth and given chase. Possessed of long limbs, muscular frames and agility, the barbarians fled immediately, offering the sentry a tantalising treat to the boredom that had been bothering him.

They would not escape Sinnertwin. They would not survive for daring to indulge their curiosity by spying on the Terrorcons' ship. Hun-Grrr's order was clear, and Sinnertwin would show him how well he would do his duty. And, as an added bonus, he would show his fellow Terrorcons how to properly follow orders, thus proving his obedience and efficiency – unlike Cutthroat.

Because a job done right was a job worth doing. And he liked his job. It was fun. It afforded him grisly opportunities at times. And surprises. He liked surprises. They generally involved the slaughtering of enemies.

“Run! Run! Run as fast as you can!" Sinnertwin laughed, his dual heads creating an ominous sound that meshed eerily together. “Keep going! Keep going! I don't want the fun to end just yet!"

Hun-Grrr would return to the shuttle soon, but not before Sinnertwin had terminated the intruders first. That was a guarantee, a promise, a fact. He took his duty seriously, more earnestly than any of his monstrous brethren claimed to do. Of course, like any enthusiastic killer, he cackled like a lunatic when he ripped apart his prey, relishing in the screams and gore he produced, but nothing would stop him from completing his job. Nothing ever did, as Sinnertwin mixed business with pleasure to a standard that allowed him to operate both joyfully and ruthlessly.

As these poor creatures were about to find out.

Okay, sorry for the wait on this one. Profile and sample are both solid so you are approved! No need to add this to the Decepticons profile section since it's already there. Just make an entry in the roll call section and pick him up in Garrus-9. Welcome back!

Edit: I suspected that posting the app would bring out the creative flow for the sample post

This is going to sound weird (as if everything that I post doesn't sound weird ) but I'm applying without a sample for this one for the simple reason there's a lot of 'place in the world' details I'm still working out. Before I feel up to 'giving him life', I want to see if he can pass mod approval or if he needs some work (more work will probably change his whole personality).

I'm aware that the lowest number for a stat we can give a character is 3, but in this case, I'd argue that something that has no possible means of being in motion in alt form really should have a 0 for speed since speed is purely a alt mode stat. That being said, I dropped it to a 2 as it's not for the numbers that I'm concerned over, it's principle.

Feint

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Weapon
Alt. Mode: Sniper Rifle
Weapons: A whole bunch of slashy things
Height: 15 ft/6.4 M
Quote: "I bet you didn't see that one coming"

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 2
Endurance: 4
Courage: 7
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Feint requires little more than a partner willing to lug him around in battle and point him at the enemy to be happy. That's not to say he's dim witted or lacks drive, he just really loves sniping.
Nothing makes him happier than a first shot, head shot, kill. What makes him the perfect Decepticon is that he has no morals whatsoever.

He doesn't pretend to care about such noble causes as helping his fellow Cybertronians. He doesn't care about order and peace. What he loves is watching panic through his scope and knowing he caused it. Watching his enemy desperately scramble to find his position and hope they don't fall victim to his aim.

He's a master at distraction, covering his position by throwing off his shots to appear to come from another direction, thus sending any targets not yet hit into a completely different direction.

Abilities: Though he really can't aim himself, he can fine tune adjustments and track targets for his partner . He also prefers to have someone else pull the trigger, though he can fire himself, he feels intuition is far more important and he feels he's not as intuitive as others.
He feels most comfortable with tracking the next target and letting his shooter aim and fire, with him making minor adjustments for wind, trajectory, etc, or feinting a shot if requested.
He really prefers a symbiotic relationship and tends to cultivate a working relationship rather than allowing any old Decepticon handle him as he is very vulnerable in his alt form and lacks trust in people he doesn’t know.
The benefits of a close working relationship is that he and his partner work with fluidity and trust in each other's abilities. He realizes he is a weapon first, and his shooter is the one who has the talent, though anyone can fire him, he just takes more control in that case, though he seriously hates it.

With his technical mindset, calculating how to feint a shot is second nature. Missing a target but bouncing a bullet off something to change its trajectory to give the illusion the bullet came from another direction. He also can be quite distracting in hand to hand combat using his abilities to feint in hand to hand as well.

He is capable of modifying his size (mass displacement) to fit almost any Cybertronian, his max size in alt form is just under 15 feet, but he can adjust his size to comfortably fit a mech down to the size of a cassetticon.

In robot mode he carries 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Surprisingly, he has no ballistic weapons in robot mode.

However, he moves quietly as needed to by as sniper. His colors are dark gray, blending him with most old Cybertronian cityscapes. He's lithe and sleek, giving the impression (and backing it up) of quickness.

Weaknesses: Lack of mobility. On his own he can not move in his alt form, or pick up speed by switching to an alt form. He must be very exacting and incapacitate, at least, his targets. His trust issues make him reluctant to work with others he is unfamiliar with, but if ordered, he grudgingly will.



Feint looked intensely at his data pad. Shadowed in the darkness, he was trying hard not let too much of the datapad's light escape. "Right, Sabe. I see it. I see where we should be." Feint said softly.

"You." Sabre said quietly, as Feint stowed away the data pad and standing. "You're going this without me."

Feint looked at his brother, smaller in stature than he, but Sabre and he both shared the same trait of a quiet confidence, err, stubbornness.
He shook his head. "Transform, Brother, you're coming with me." He held out his hand and Sabre, with a reluctant sigh, transformed into his sword alt mode, shrinking to fit better with Feint's smaller than average Cybertronian size. He slid Sabre into a scabbard on his back. "Now, stay quiet, don't overthink, remain in alt mode unless I tell you to." He warned as he started down the alley with a laugh.

Feint moved off down the alley. Cybertron was dieing, and quite frankly, that depressed him. The very real possibility of having to leave the planet was looming over them. But until then, he had a job to do. Right now, that was recon without a sniper with him, sure he could handle that on his own, but he would prefer a sniper doing it for him.

Through the Cybertronian dark alleys to his destination, and up on to the roof a building, he found his target area below and across the street.
Suspected of being a meeting place for Autobot sympathizers, his mission was to confirm and identify any notable Autobots. Already he saw a congregation of mechs, but it was difficult to pick out identifiers in the dark.

Feint transformed into his alt mode, a sniper rifle. A very misunderstood alt mode, but he relished it.
Sabre was still attached to him, which hindsight was a very bad idea. But Feint thought it would be easier to get out quickly if they were only one.
The barrel of his rifle was resting on the roof, hanging over a bit, so his scope was pointed down, there was no way for him to aim, but he wanted the scope, and had positioned himself to get it right where he could pick out the mechs below.

"Hum..." He muttered then opened his comm. "Right, in position. They're gathering it looks like. I'm not picking out anyone high ranking at the moment." He listened to the confirmation of his report back to his superiors. "Right, I will remain here."

Keeping watch was really boring. Fortunately he had done it for so long that he learned to remain focused despite what other's would consider maddeningly dull. Time passed, the mechs on the street moved in and out, however, the core group he first spotted never left, rather greeted certain others as they went by.

Feint reported back his findings as it went along. Remaining in the same place to keep watch on the group, though having to pull out his sites to a slightly less zoom at times to keep them all in his site.

And then, it will all wrong.

Somehow one of the Autobots got the notion to check for someone watching them. By the time Feint saw the light being shined up to him, it was too late. He had been spotted. He couldn't even fire off a feint shot now and make them look elsewhere, he had to move.
Quickly he transformed and started off into a run. However, his alt mode was working against him at the moment. He couldn't make a hasty retreat.

---

"I heard the sounds of rotors behind me. I tried to pull Sabre out and throw him aside to escape, he'd come back for me or get help, but I didn't have time. Those slagging Bots were on my aft in seconds. And that's the last time I saw Sabre." He looked over at the Con technician who had asked him to tell him the details of that night. "Why is all this necessary? I've told this story before, it's on record."

"For someone who gets himself sentenced to cryo-stasis so much, we just have to check your memory, make sure the deep freeze doesn't scramble your circuits." The Tech said. "Don't want you to forget how to do your job."

"Right..." Feint said. "So when do I get my reprieve? As it looks like you tech types don't think it's a safe idea to keep freezing and thawing me, when do I get let off the hook for trying to kill 'His Royal Majesty'? Not that I don't enjoying the constant freezing and thawing just because I'm fragging fantastic at my job that they want me to do their dirty work for them..." He looked around, unable to figure out where he was, on a planet, a ship, where? "And where the slag are we? On a battle cruiser?"

The tech didn't say anything, just motioned for Feint to follow, he slid off the slab and followed. Feint regretted a lot of things, and this was certainly one of them, attempting to assassinate his commanding officer after escaping the Autobots, a few hours after he was captured, was possibly the stupidest move he had ever made. But one thing always echoed through his processor. The sub frequency transmission he had intercepted just as the Autobots had spotted him... with his location and his commander's voice giving it to the Autobots. He had been sold out.

The doors to the antechamber of the lab slid open at their approach. As Feint stepped inside, a smile slid across his faceplate at the sight of who was in the room. The only other person he'd have wanted to see in the room would have been Sabre.

"Consider yourself reprieved..."

ctrlFrequency wrote:Edit: I suspected that posting the app would bring out the creative flow for the sample post

This is going to sound weird (as if everything that I post doesn't sound weird ) but I'm applying without a sample for this one for the simple reason there's a lot of 'place in the world' details I'm still working out. Before I feel up to 'giving him life', I want to see if he can pass mod approval or if he needs some work (more work will probably change his whole personality).

I'm aware that the lowest number for a stat we can give a character is 3, but in this case, I'd argue that something that has no possible means of being in motion in alt form really should have a 0 for speed since speed is purely a alt mode stat. That being said, I dropped it to a 2 as it's not for the numbers that I'm concerned over, it's principle.

Feint

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Weapon
Alt. Mode: Sniper Rifle
Weapons: A whole bunch of slashy things
Height: 15 ft/6.4 M
Quote: "I bet you didn't see that one coming"

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 2
Endurance: 4
Courage: 7
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Feint requires little more than a partner willing to lug him around in battle and point him at the enemy to be happy. That's not to say he's dim witted or lacks drive, he just really loves sniping.
Nothing makes him happier than a first shot, head shot, kill. What makes him the perfect Decepticon is that he has no morals whatsoever.

He doesn't pretend to care about such noble causes as helping his fellow Cybertronians. He doesn't care about order and peace. What he loves is watching panic through his scope and knowing he caused it. Watching his enemy desperately scramble to find his position and hope they don't fall victim to his aim.

He's a master at distraction, covering his position by throwing off his shots to appear to come from another direction, thus sending any targets not yet hit into a completely different direction.

Abilities: Though he really can't aim himself, he can fine tune adjustments and track targets for his partner . He also prefers to have someone else pull the trigger, though he can fire himself, he feels intuition is far more important and he feels he's not as intuitive as others.
He feels most comfortable with tracking the next target and letting his shooter aim and fire, with him making minor adjustments for wind, trajectory, etc, or feinting a shot if requested.

He really prefers a symbiotic relationship and tends to cultivate a working relationship rather than allowing any old Decepticon handle him as he is very vulnerable in his alt form and lacks trust in people he doesn’t know. The benefits of a close working relationship is that he and his partner work with fluidity and trust in each other's abilities. He realizes he is a weapon first, and his shooter is the one who has the talent, though anyone can fire him, he just takes more control in that case, though he seriously hates it.

With his technical mindset, calculating how to feint a shot is second nature. Missing a target but bouncing a bullet off something to change its trajectory to give the illusion the bullet came from another direction. He also can be quite distracting in hand to hand combat using his abilities to feint in hand to hand as well.

He is capable of modifying his size (mass displacement) to fit almost any Cybertronian, his max size in alt form is just under 15 feet, but he can adjust his size to comfortably fit a mech down to the size of a cassetticon.

In robot mode he carries 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Surprisingly, he has no ballistic weapons in robot mode.

However, he moves quietly as needed to by as sniper. His colors are dark gray, blending him with most old Cybertronian cityscapes. He's lithe and sleek, giving the impression (and backing it up) of quickness.

Weaknesses: Lack of mobility. On his own he can not move in his alt form, or pick up speed by switching to an alt form. He must be very exacting and incapacitate, at least, his targets. His trust issues make him reluctant to work with others he is unfamiliar with, but if ordered, he grudgingly will.

Sample Post

Feint looked intensely at his data pad. Shadowed in the darkness, he was trying hard not let too much of the datapad's light escape. "Right, Sabe. I see it. I see where we should be." Feint said softly.

"You." Sabre said quietly, as Feint stowed away the data pad and standing. "You're going this without me."

Feint looked at his brother, smaller in stature than he, but Sabre and he both shared the same trait of a quiet confidence, err, stubbornness.
He shook his head. "Transform, Brother, you're coming with me." He held out his hand and Sabre, with a reluctant sigh, transformed into his sword alt mode, shrinking to fit better with Feint's smaller than average Cybertronian size. He slid Sabre into a scabbard on his back. "Now, stay quiet, don't overthink, remain in alt mode unless I tell you to." He warned as he started down the alley with a laugh.

Feint moved off down the alley. Cybertron was dieing, and quite frankly, that depressed him. The very real possibility of having to leave the planet was looming over them. But until then, he had a job to do. Right now, that was recon without a sniper with him, sure he could handle that on his own, but he would prefer a sniper doing it for him.

Through the Cybertronian dark alleys to his destination, and up on to the roof a building, he found his target area below and across the street.
Suspected of being a meeting place for Autobot sympathizers, his mission was to confirm and identify any notable Autobots. Already he saw a congregation of mechs, but it was difficult to pick out identifiers in the dark.

Feint transformed into his alt mode, a sniper rifle. A very misunderstood alt mode, but he relished it.
Sabre was still attached to him, which hindsight was a very bad idea. But Feint thought it would be easier to get out quickly if they were only one.
The barrel of his rifle was resting on the roof, hanging over a bit, so his scope was pointed down, there was no way for him to aim, but he wanted the scope, and had positioned himself to get it right where he could pick out the mechs below.

"Hum..." He muttered then opened his comm. "Right, in position. They're gathering it looks like. I'm not picking out anyone high ranking at the moment." He listened to the confirmation of his report back to his superiors. "Right, I will remain here."

Keeping watch was really boring. Fortunately he had done it for so long that he learned to remain focused despite what other's would consider maddeningly dull. Time passed, the mechs on the street moved in and out, however, the core group he first spotted never left, rather greeted certain others as they went by.

Feint reported back his findings as it went along. Remaining in the same place to keep watch on the group, though having to pull out his sites to a slightly less zoom at times to keep them all in his site.

And then, it will all wrong.

Somehow one of the Autobots got the notion to check for someone watching them. By the time Feint saw the light being shined up to him, it was too late. He had been spotted. He couldn't even fire off a feint shot now and make them look elsewhere, he had to move.
Quickly he transformed and started off into a run. However, his alt mode was working against him at the moment. He couldn't make a hasty retreat.

---

"I heard the sounds of rotors behind me. I tried to pull Sabre out and throw him aside to escape, he'd come back for me or get help, but I didn't have time. Those slagging Bots were on my aft in seconds. And that's the last time I saw Sabre." He looked over at the Con technician who had asked him to tell him the details of that night. "Why is all this necessary? I've told this story before, it's on record."

"For someone who gets himself sentenced to cryo-stasis so much, we just have to check your memory, make sure the deep freeze doesn't scramble your circuits." The Tech said. "Don't want you to forget how to do your job."

"Right..." Feint said. "So when do I get my reprieve? As it looks like you tech types don't think it's a safe idea to keep freezing and thawing me, when do I get let off the hook for trying to kill 'His Royal Majesty'? Not that I don't enjoying the constant freezing and thawing just because I'm fragging fantastic at my job that they want me to do their dirty work for them..." He looked around, unable to figure out where he was, on a planet, a ship, where? "And where the slag are we? On a battle cruiser?"

The tech didn't say anything, just motioned for Feint to follow, he slid off the slab and followed. Feint regretted a lot of things, and this was certainly one of them, attempting to assassinate his commanding officer after escaping the Autobots, a few hours after he was captured, was possibly the stupidest move he had ever made. But one thing always echoed through his processor. The sub frequency transmission he had intercepted just as the Autobots had spotted him... with his location and his commander's voice giving it to the Autobots. He had been sold out.

The doors to the antechamber of the lab slid open at their approach. As Feint stepped inside, a smile slid across his faceplate at the sight of who was in the room. The only other person he'd have wanted to see in the room would have been Sabre.

"Consider yourself reprieved..."

Okay, this app is pretty good, not a bad start at all. However, there are a couple of changes and concerns that need to be addressed before we can call it approved.

Your sample post is solid. Although, there were a couple of misspellings that may have been caused by autocorrect? Not sure. Just double check in the future. Not a big deal. The only other thing is I’m not sure why you wouldn’t just have Sabre handle Feint once he was in rifle mode. Seemed like a missed opportunity. Again, not a big deal. Your sample is otherwise good.

Your speed of 2 is fine. Like all cons, your guy would have flight abilities in bot mode which would require some speed, not to mention running speed. So, no problems there.

Now, on to the changes and concerns. First, you need to list the specific weapons up top and not just have “a whole bunch of slashy things.” It’s cute and all but the actual weapons need to be there, instead.

Second, as a concern of mine, does Feint fire actual metal bullets or a laser beam of some kind? You mention bullets in the abilities section, but you don't go into detail about them. You should add in somewhere what kind of ammo Feint exactly fires or if there's more than one type. If it is a bullet it would have to be at least armor-piercing to do any real damage to an enemy, especially with a firepower stat of 8, which is pretty strong for a bullet. Furthermore, if it's lasers or armor-piercing bullets then that would make bouncing your shots off of objects difficult as both types of ammo would go through most things. Thus, feinting would be hard to do. So, we definitely need some clarification on what exactly Feint fires and how his feinting works as a result.

Lastly, the other thing I see is that there’s a whole paragraph in the middle of your abilities section that really belongs in the profile section. I have the area in question underscored and bolded so that you can see what I’m referring to. All of that doesn’t really pertain to abilities but more to his personality. Therefore, it should be moved up to the profile section. This will help to fill out your character’s profile a bit more, which currently reads okay. It’s just a little sparse on details.

As a suggestion, maybe you could also add a bit to the profile about what Feint was doing before the war, what his role back then was and what ultimately led him to joining the cons. If you don't have something worked out yet, you could always maybe say his background is shrouded in mystery. Of course, it’s not a deal breaker if you don’t want to add either of these things. Just a few ideas to consider.

Anyway, there you have it. Make those changes and re-post your app, and we’ll take another look at it.

And this is why I submitted it for you to look at I am sailing into unfamiliar territory with this one so I wanted some constructive criticism, thank you!

1) Clarified the type of bullets (really honestly, I hate admitting to it, but it didn't even occur to me to list types of bullets. I didn't even think of it)
2) fixed the weapons... sorry about that, I had meant to move the list of weapons up from the profile to the proper place and forgot.
3) Rearranged paragraphs
4) Put in his history (particularly pre war, sorry, I fear I get too wordy so I edit myself... it seems a little too much this time!)

Marcus had the idea (and we really needed you on AIM this afternoon!) for a sniper bullet that is a titanium casing with a cobalt incendiary that I'd like to use for the damage dealing sniper bullets (it would be like a heavy duty armor penetrating real world bullet). If not something you'd like introduced, I can omit it.

I hear what you're saying on the part with Sabre, but I didn't want to put too much emphasis on him, as he's not the one I'm writing the sample for. There's actually a lot more to the story, I edited out to keep focus on Feint over Sabre (and yeah, I do have a profile for Sabre, chances are it's just going to sit hidden never to be revealed :p ). Sabre was told to stay in alt mode and complied as Feint's big mistake that night was to not allow Sabre out to aim him with the thinking that escape would be easier if spotted if he just threw Sabre in alt form off the building. I should have been clearer on that part, but I removed that part from the sample to make it more linear in that respect.


Feint

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Weapon
Alt. Mode: Sniper Rifle
Weapons: 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Bullets listed after abilities section.
Height: 15 ft/6.4 M
Quote: "I bet you didn't see that one coming"

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 2
Endurance: 4
Courage: 7
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Feint requires little more than a partner willing to lug him around in battle and point him at the enemy to be happy. That's not to say he's dim witted or lacks drive, he just really loves sniping.
Nothing makes him happier than a first shot, head shot, kill. What makes him the perfect Decepticon is that he has no morals whatsoever.

He doesn't pretend to care about such noble causes as helping his fellow Cybertronians. He doesn't care about order and peace. What he loves is watching panic through his scope and knowing he caused it. Watching his enemy desperately scramble to find his position and hope they don't fall victim to his aim.

He's a master at distraction, covering his position by throwing off his shots to appear to come from another direction, thus sending any targets not yet hit into a completely different direction.

He really prefers a symbiotic relationship and tends to cultivate a working relationship rather than allowing any old Decepticon handle him as he is very vulnerable in his alt form and lacks trust in people he doesn't know. The benefits of a close working relationship is that he and his partner work with fluidity and trust in each other's abilities. He realizes he is a weapon first, and his shooter is the one who has the talent, though anyone can fire him, he just takes more control in that case, though he seriously hates it.

Before the war, he served as police sniper rifle, having been a rifle from the very beginning. This wasn't by choice, as his personalty never lent to law and order, he prefers chaos. However, his alt form didn't leave much room for other employment opportunities so he was forced into police work as he was viewed as little more than a tool to be used by others, rather than a separate sentient entity. The usual Functionalist reasoning, you know.

As the war broke out, he was more than happy to abandon his life and join the Decepticons where he could really use his strengths and abilities and not be hampered by regulations and moral codes.

His record with the Decepticons, however, gets a bit tumultuous at times. He tends to exact revenge when he feels slighted or wrong, with no qualms about killing the person he feels wronged him. However, it's never enough to get him executed for his actions, and his skill as a sniper has kept him in the Decepticon ranks, though usually sent to cryo-stasis until his skills are requested as he tends to be a bit too lose of a cannon otherwise.

Abilities: Though he really can't aim himself, he can fine tune adjustments and track targets for his partner . He also prefers to have someone else pull the trigger, though he can fire himself, he feels intuition is far more important and he feels he's not as intuitive as others.
He feels most comfortable with tracking the next target and letting his shooter aim and fire, with him making minor adjustments for wind, trajectory, etc, or feinting a shot if requested.

With his technical mindset, calculating how to feint a shot is second nature. Missing a target but bouncing a bullet off something to change its trajectory to give the illusion the bullet came from another direction. He also can be quite distracting in hand to hand combat using his abilities to feint in hand to hand as well.

He is capable of modifying his size (mass displacement) to fit almost any Cybertronian, his max size in alt form is just under 15 feet, but he can adjust his size to comfortably fit a mech down to the size of a cassetticon.

In robot mode he carries 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Surprisingly, he has no ballistic weapons in robot mode.

However, he moves quietly as needed to by as sniper. His colors are dark gray, blending him with most old Cybertronian city-scapes. He's lithe and sleek, giving the impression (and backing it up) of quickness.

He uses two types of bullets, standard sniper rounds and specialist rounds. His standard sniper rounds are, armor piercing titanium cased cobalt. The specialist shells for using for ricocheting and feinting shots are acid tipped, liquid nitrogen, mercury, and incendiary.

Weaknesses: Lack of mobility. On his own he can not move in his alt form, or pick up speed by switching to an alt form. He must be very exacting and incapacitate, at least, his targets. His trust issues make him reluctant to work with others he is unfamiliar with, but if ordered, he grudgingly will.



Feint looked intensely at his data pad. Shadowed in the darkness, he was trying hard not let too much of the datapad's light escape. "Right, Sabe. I see it. I see where we should be." Feint said softly.

"You." Sabre said quietly, as Feint stowed away the data pad and standing. "You're going this without me."

Feint looked at his brother, smaller in stature than he, but Sabre and he both shared the same trait of a quiet confidence, err, stubbornness.

"Fine..." Feint said. "I'll meet you right back here when your done."

Feint moved off down the alley. Cybertron was dying, and quite frankly, that depressed him. The very real possibility of having to leave the planet was looming over them. But until then, he had a job to do. Right now, that was recon without a sniper with him, sure he could handle that on his own, but he would prefer a sniper doing it for him.

Through the Cybertronian dark alleys to his destination, and up on to the roof a building, he found his target area below and across the street.
Suspected of being a meeting place for Autobot sympathizers, his mission was to confirm and identify any notable Autobots. Already he saw a congregation of mechs, but it was difficult to pick out identifiers in the dark.

Feint transformed into his alt mode, a sniper rifle. A very misunderstood alt mode, but he relished it.

The barrel of his rifle was resting on the roof, hanging over a bit, so his scope was pointed down, there was no way for him to aim, but he wanted the scope, and had positioned himself to get it right where he could pick out the mechs below.

"Hum..." He muttered then opened his comm. "Right, in position. They're gathering it looks like. I'm not picking out anyone high ranking at the moment." He listened to the confirmation of his report back to his superiors. "Right, I will remain here."

Keeping watch was really boring. Fortunately he had done it for so long that he learned to remain focused despite what other's would consider maddeningly dull. Time passed, the mechs on the street moved in and out, however, the core group he first spotted never left, rather greeted certain others as they went by.

Feint reported back his findings as it went along. Remaining in the same place to keep watch on the group, though having to pull out his sites to a slightly less zoom at times to keep them all in his site.

And then, it will all wrong.

Somehow one of the Autobots got the notion to check for someone watching them. By the time Feint saw the light being shined up to him, it was too late. He had been spotted. He couldn't even fire off a feint shot now and make them look elsewhere, he had to move.
Quickly he transformed and started off into a run. However, his alt mode was working against him at the moment. He couldn't make a hasty retreat.

---

"I heard the sounds of rotors behind me. I tried to pull Sabre out and throw him aside to escape, he'd come back for me or get help, but I didn't have time. Those slagging Bots were on my aft in seconds. And that's the last time I saw Sabre." He looked over at the Con technician who had asked him to tell him the details of that night. "Why is all this necessary? I've told this story before, it's on record."

"For someone who gets himself sentenced to cryo-stasis so much, we just have to check your memory, make sure the deep freeze doesn't scramble your circuits." The Tech said. "Don't want you to forget how to do your job."

"Right..." Feint said. "So when do I get my reprieve? As it looks like you tech types don't think it's a safe idea to keep freezing and thawing me, when do I get let off the hook for trying to kill 'His Royal Majesty'? Not that I don't enjoying the constant freezing and thawing just because I'm fragging fantastic at my job that they want me to do their dirty work for them..." He looked around, unable to figure out where he was, on a planet, a ship, where? "And where the slag are we? On a battle cruiser?"

The tech didn't say anything, just motioned for Feint to follow, he slid off the slab and followed. Feint regretted a lot of things, and this was certainly one of them, attempting to assassinate his commanding officer after escaping the Autobots, a few hours after he was captured, was possibly the stupidest move he had ever made. But one thing always echoed through his processor. The sub frequency transmission he had intercepted just as the Autobots had spotted him... with his location and his commander's voice giving it to the Autobots. He had been sold out.

The doors to the antechamber of the lab slid open at their approach. As Feint stepped inside, a smile slid across his face plate at the sight of who was in the room. The only other person he'd have wanted to see in the room would have been Sabre.

"Consider yourself reprieved..."

---'

Also, you know, I really got to say it, this RP has some of the most creative people around. Marcus and Psych really helped me take the very vague that I was giving them and solidify it into a real workable, but not mundane (that was my problem, I was thinking too mundane and limited) and of course Fox was quite the help too

ctrlFrequency wrote:And this is why I submitted it for you to look at I am sailing into unfamiliar territory with this one so I wanted some constructive criticism, thank you!

1) Clarified the type of bullets (really honestly, I hate admitting to it, but it didn't even occur to me to list types of bullets. I didn't even think of it)
2) fixed the weapons... sorry about that, I had meant to move the list of weapons up from the profile to the proper place and forgot.
3) Rearranged paragraphs
4) Put in his history (particularly pre war, sorry, I fear I get too wordy so I edit myself... it seems a little too much this time!)

Marcus had the idea (and we really needed you on AIM this afternoon!) for a sniper bullet that is a titanium casing with a cobalt incendiary that I'd like to use for the damage dealing sniper bullets (it would be like a heavy duty armor penetrating real world bullet). If not something you'd like introduced, I can omit it.

I hear what you're saying on the part with Sabre, but I didn't want to put too much emphasis on him, as he's not the one I'm writing the sample for. There's actually a lot more to the story, I edited out to keep focus on Feint over Sabre (and yeah, I do have a profile for Sabre, chances are it's just going to sit hidden never to be revealed :p ). Sabre was told to stay in alt mode and complied as Feint's big mistake that night was to not allow Sabre out to aim him with the thinking that escape would be easier if spotted if he just threw Sabre in alt form off the building. I should have been clearer on that part, but I removed that part from the sample to make it more linear in that respect.


Feint

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Weapon
Alt. Mode: Sniper Rifle
Weapons: 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Bullets listed after abilities section.
Height: 15 ft/6.4 M
Quote: "I bet you didn't see that one coming"

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 2
Endurance: 4
Courage: 7
Firepower: 8
Accuracy: 9
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Feint requires little more than a partner willing to lug him around in battle and point him at the enemy to be happy. That's not to say he's dim witted or lacks drive, he just really loves sniping.
Nothing makes him happier than a first shot, head shot, kill. What makes him the perfect Decepticon is that he has no morals whatsoever.

He doesn't pretend to care about such noble causes as helping his fellow Cybertronians. He doesn't care about order and peace. What he loves is watching panic through his scope and knowing he caused it. Watching his enemy desperately scramble to find his position and hope they don't fall victim to his aim.

He's a master at distraction, covering his position by throwing off his shots to appear to come from another direction, thus sending any targets not yet hit into a completely different direction.

He really prefers a symbiotic relationship and tends to cultivate a working relationship rather than allowing any old Decepticon handle him as he is very vulnerable in his alt form and lacks trust in people he doesn't know. The benefits of a close working relationship is that he and his partner work with fluidity and trust in each other's abilities. He realizes he is a weapon first, and his shooter is the one who has the talent, though anyone can fire him, he just takes more control in that case, though he seriously hates it.

Before the war, he served as police sniper rifle, having been a rifle from the very beginning. This wasn't by choice, as his personalty never lent to law and order, he prefers chaos. However, his alt form didn't leave much room for other employment opportunities so he was forced into police work as he was viewed as little more than a tool to be used by others, rather than a separate sentient entity. The usual Functionalist reasoning, you know.

As the war broke out, he was more than happy to abandon his life and join the Decepticons where he could really use his strengths and abilities and not be hampered by regulations and moral codes.

His record with the Decepticons, however, gets a bit tumultuous at times. He tends to exact revenge when he feels slighted or wrong, with no qualms about killing the person he feels wronged him. However, it's never enough to get him executed for his actions, and his skill as a sniper has kept him in the Decepticon ranks, though usually sent to cryo-stasis until his skills are requested as he tends to be a bit too lose of a cannon otherwise.

Abilities: Though he really can't aim himself, he can fine tune adjustments and track targets for his partner . He also prefers to have someone else pull the trigger, though he can fire himself, he feels intuition is far more important and he feels he's not as intuitive as others.
He feels most comfortable with tracking the next target and letting his shooter aim and fire, with him making minor adjustments for wind, trajectory, etc, or feinting a shot if requested.

With his technical mindset, calculating how to feint a shot is second nature. Missing a target but bouncing a bullet off something to change its trajectory to give the illusion the bullet came from another direction. He also can be quite distracting in hand to hand combat using his abilities to feint in hand to hand as well.

He is capable of modifying his size (mass displacement) to fit almost any Cybertronian, his max size in alt form is just under 15 feet, but he can adjust his size to comfortably fit a mech down to the size of a cassetticon.

In robot mode he carries 2 daggers, two katanas, 2 other daggers, and a hand and a half broadsword. Surprisingly, he has no ballistic weapons in robot mode.

However, he moves quietly as needed to by as sniper. His colors are dark gray, blending him with most old Cybertronian city-scapes. He's lithe and sleek, giving the impression (and backing it up) of quickness.

He uses two types of bullets, standard sniper rounds and specialist rounds. His standard sniper rounds are, armor piercing titanium cased cobalt. The specialist shells for using for ricocheting and feinting shots are acid tipped, liquid nitrogen, mercury, and incendiary.

Weaknesses: Lack of mobility. On his own he can not move in his alt form, or pick up speed by switching to an alt form. He must be very exacting and incapacitate, at least, his targets. His trust issues make him reluctant to work with others he is unfamiliar with, but if ordered, he grudgingly will.

Sample Post

Feint looked intensely at his data pad. Shadowed in the darkness, he was trying hard not let too much of the datapad's light escape. "Right, Sabe. I see it. I see where we should be." Feint said softly.

"You." Sabre said quietly, as Feint stowed away the data pad and standing. "You're going this without me."

Feint looked at his brother, smaller in stature than he, but Sabre and he both shared the same trait of a quiet confidence, err, stubbornness.

"Fine..." Feint said. "I'll meet you right back here when your done."

Feint moved off down the alley. Cybertron was dying, and quite frankly, that depressed him. The very real possibility of having to leave the planet was looming over them. But until then, he had a job to do. Right now, that was recon without a sniper with him, sure he could handle that on his own, but he would prefer a sniper doing it for him.

Through the Cybertronian dark alleys to his destination, and up on to the roof a building, he found his target area below and across the street.
Suspected of being a meeting place for Autobot sympathizers, his mission was to confirm and identify any notable Autobots. Already he saw a congregation of mechs, but it was difficult to pick out identifiers in the dark.

Feint transformed into his alt mode, a sniper rifle. A very misunderstood alt mode, but he relished it.

The barrel of his rifle was resting on the roof, hanging over a bit, so his scope was pointed down, there was no way for him to aim, but he wanted the scope, and had positioned himself to get it right where he could pick out the mechs below.

"Hum..." He muttered then opened his comm. "Right, in position. They're gathering it looks like. I'm not picking out anyone high ranking at the moment." He listened to the confirmation of his report back to his superiors. "Right, I will remain here."

Keeping watch was really boring. Fortunately he had done it for so long that he learned to remain focused despite what other's would consider maddeningly dull. Time passed, the mechs on the street moved in and out, however, the core group he first spotted never left, rather greeted certain others as they went by.

Feint reported back his findings as it went along. Remaining in the same place to keep watch on the group, though having to pull out his sites to a slightly less zoom at times to keep them all in his site.

And then, it will all wrong.

Somehow one of the Autobots got the notion to check for someone watching them. By the time Feint saw the light being shined up to him, it was too late. He had been spotted. He couldn't even fire off a feint shot now and make them look elsewhere, he had to move.
Quickly he transformed and started off into a run. However, his alt mode was working against him at the moment. He couldn't make a hasty retreat.

---

"I heard the sounds of rotors behind me. I tried to pull Sabre out and throw him aside to escape, he'd come back for me or get help, but I didn't have time. Those slagging Bots were on my aft in seconds. And that's the last time I saw Sabre." He looked over at the Con technician who had asked him to tell him the details of that night. "Why is all this necessary? I've told this story before, it's on record."

"For someone who gets himself sentenced to cryo-stasis so much, we just have to check your memory, make sure the deep freeze doesn't scramble your circuits." The Tech said. "Don't want you to forget how to do your job."

"Right..." Feint said. "So when do I get my reprieve? As it looks like you tech types don't think it's a safe idea to keep freezing and thawing me, when do I get let off the hook for trying to kill 'His Royal Majesty'? Not that I don't enjoying the constant freezing and thawing just because I'm fragging fantastic at my job that they want me to do their dirty work for them..." He looked around, unable to figure out where he was, on a planet, a ship, where? "And where the slag are we? On a battle cruiser?"

The tech didn't say anything, just motioned for Feint to follow, he slid off the slab and followed. Feint regretted a lot of things, and this was certainly one of them, attempting to assassinate his commanding officer after escaping the Autobots, a few hours after he was captured, was possibly the stupidest move he had ever made. But one thing always echoed through his processor. The sub frequency transmission he had intercepted just as the Autobots had spotted him... with his location and his commander's voice giving it to the Autobots. He had been sold out.

The doors to the antechamber of the lab slid open at their approach. As Feint stepped inside, a smile slid across his face plate at the sight of who was in the room. The only other person he'd have wanted to see in the room would have been Sabre.

"Consider yourself reprieved..."

---'

Also, you know, I really got to say it, this RP has some of the most creative people around. Marcus and Psych really helped me take the very vague that I was giving them and solidify it into a real workable, but not mundane (that was my problem, I was thinking too mundane and limited) and of course Fox was quite the help too

Okay, with the changes made I think we can call this app approved. Rank 5. Make an entry in the Custom Decepticons profile section (without the sample, of course) and update your roster list accordingly. Nice job!

I'd like to bump dis guy up to full PC

Blot

Allegiance: Decepticons
Sub-group: Terrorcons
Function: Foot Soldier
Alternate Modes: Monster
Weapons: Slime gun, Flamethrower
Special Abilities: Unknown or none
Height: 33ft/ 10,07m
Quote: “I'm not as bad as I look - I'm worse."


Strength: 09
Intelligence: 02
Dexterity: 06
Speed: 02
Endurance: 10
Courage: 10
Firepower: 07
Accuracy: 06
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 03
Charisma: 03
Rank: 04

Profile: [Intelligence Report C121732: Punch, Autobot Undercover Agent] Subject T102 aka. Blot, is such a mess that any professional soldier would be embarrassed to serve alongside him. If you have ever served with poor Landfill, you can imagine what level slob I am writing about. Only if that was enough. Most of the subject's joints can be found dripping some kind of lubricant, leaving a slimy trail wherever he goes. He simply can't keep up with his maintenance problems. I have made an observation that this exacerbates the subject's already low self-esteem, which is why Blot tries to pretend that he doesn't care about his hygiene. The subject is aware that makes him an object of ridicule behind his back, but his considerable level of power keeps other Decepticons from directly abusing him. I have heard rumors of Blot beating those foolish enough to insult him openly to death and I have no reason to doubt those rumors. Dumb, brutish and loyal, Blot could have become an Autobot if the first 'bot who ever treated him with respect had not been Hun-Grrr. The story goes that Blot, an aspiring gladiator was put into a tag-team battle with Hun-Grrr as his partner. Blot's brutal and fearless approach to the combat impressed the infamous 'Terrorcon' enough for him to take Blot under his wing. This has made the subject extremely loyal and obedient towards Hun-Grrr, who greatly appreciates this trait, ,making the fearless Blot is his go-to 'bot when he needs someone to follow orders to the letter.

Abilities: Subject possesses incredible strength and endurance. In his monster mode, his piercing claws allow him climb virtually any surface or dismember another Cybertronian in seconds. The subject is also armed with a flamethrower in his monster mode. In both robot and creature mode, Blot wields a slime gun that fires a stream of corrosive, odious liquid. The liquid reacts with common Transformer armor, making it softer and pliable. In other words, the victims of this horrendous weapon have their structural integrity broken so that their bodies collapse under their own weight.

Weaknesses: Subject is very unintelligent, and his slovenly nature makes others reluctant to work with him. He has frequent minor maintenance problems that lead to constant leakage of internal fluids. Although this is minor in itself, he can suffer more severe breakdowns from the lack of fluid.

Foxfire13795 wrote:I'd like to bump dis guy up to full PC

Blot

Allegiance: Decepticons
Sub-group: Terrorcons
Function: Foot Soldier
Alternate Modes: Monster
Weapons: Slime gun, Flamethrower
Special Abilities: Unknown or none
Height: 33ft/ 10,07m
Quote: “I'm not as bad as I look - I'm worse."


Strength: 09
Intelligence: 02
Dexterity: 06
Speed: 02
Endurance: 10
Courage: 10
Firepower: 07
Accuracy: 06
Melee: 08
Tech Skill: 03
Charisma: 03
Rank: 04

Profile: [Intelligence Report C121732: Punch, Autobot Undercover Agent] Subject T102 aka. Blot, is such a mess that any professional soldier would be embarrassed to serve alongside him. If you have ever served with poor Landfill, you can imagine what level slob I am writing about. Only if that was enough. Most of the subject's joints can be found dripping some kind of lubricant, leaving a slimy trail wherever he goes. He simply can't keep up with his maintenance problems. I have made an observation that this exacerbates the subject's already low self-esteem, which is why Blot tries to pretend that he doesn't care about his hygiene. The subject is aware that makes him an object of ridicule behind his back, but his considerable level of power keeps other Decepticons from directly abusing him. I have heard rumors of Blot beating those foolish enough to insult him openly to death and I have no reason to doubt those rumors. Dumb, brutish and loyal, Blot could have become an Autobot if the first 'bot who ever treated him with respect had not been Hun-Grrr. The story goes that Blot, an aspiring gladiator was put into a tag-team battle with Hun-Grrr as his partner. Blot's brutal and fearless approach to the combat impressed the infamous 'Terrorcon' enough for him to take Blot under his wing. This has made the subject extremely loyal and obedient towards Hun-Grrr, who greatly appreciates this trait, ,making the fearless Blot is his go-to 'bot when he needs someone to follow orders to the letter.

Abilities: Subject possesses incredible strength and endurance. In his monster mode, his piercing claws allow him climb virtually any surface or dismember another Cybertronian in seconds. The subject is also armed with a flamethrower in his monster mode. In both robot and creature mode, Blot wields a slime gun that fires a stream of corrosive, odious liquid. The liquid reacts with common Transformer armor, making it softer and pliable. In other words, the victims of this horrendous weapon have their structural integrity broken so that their bodies collapse under their own weight.

Weaknesses: Subject is very unintelligent, and his slovenly nature makes others reluctant to work with him. He has frequent minor maintenance problems that lead to constant leakage of internal fluids. Although this is minor in itself, he can suffer more severe breakdowns from the lack of fluid.

He's all yours!

Morning, Afternoon, Evening all *waves*

All new, shiny and generally sleep deprived (babies are hard, no-one warned me, no-one!!), and hoping that I can apply for Arcee I've noticed that she is listed as being used as an NPC, and I'm hoping that means I can pick her up providing I pass the application *nod*

I have wilfully swiped her your existing profile page for her, and added my sample text at the end. I'm not entirely sure if it's what you're looking for, and I may have gotten a little carried away with writing it. Hopefully you will still enjoy it *nod*

Anyways, here it is...

Arcee

Allegiance: Autobot.
Function: Warrior.
Alt. mode: A Pink and White, Open Top, C4 Corvette Convertible.
Weapons: Electrical Disperser Rifle, Electro Saber.
Height: 28ft / 8.54m
Quote: “Looks are always deceiving“

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 8
Endurance: 5
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 9
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 7
Rank: 6

Profile: Arcee is a Fembot of contradictions. Whilst kind, loyal and entirely dedicated to the well being of her friends she is also utterly merciless and entirely ruthless towards her enemies, the Decepticons. The shift in personality is seamless and, during the course of battle, can and will switch between one and the other without warning.

As an Autobot, you could not ask for a better and more trustworthy friend, as a Decepticon, at least you can be thankful for a swift death. She is not inherently malicious, nor violent, in nature, and would in fact be thankful if war ended tomorrow, but so long as the Decepticons remain hell bent of distributing their brand of genocide, Arcee is all to willing to return the favor.

During times of peace Arcee is often a morale officer within the Autobot ranks, helping those around her cope with the trials of a war torn world. Whilst understanding and often willing to listen Arcee is also extremely opinionated and isn’t afraid to state what she believes in, always offering reasons to back it up.

In the past Arcee, due to her more delicate frame in comparison to her male based counterparts, has often been underestimated and her value to the war effort easily dismissed. It is these perceptions she has, in recent years, cast off through example, and now, she never intends for her efforts to be so easily dismissed again.

Not by her colleagues and most certainly not by the Decepticons.


Abilities: Through first hand experience on the battlefield, and driven by a desire too prove herself too her larger fellow Autobots, Arcee has rounded out into an versatile Warrior. As both an accomplished Marksmen, and skilled in close combat, Arcee has forged herself into a valuable asset in any conflict.

Arcee’s armor is relatively light, even in comparison to the average Autobot. In trade she is exceptionally agile, enabling her avoid enemy firepower rather than absorb it. She considers this a satisfactory state of affairs; after all, it is far better than to not get shot in the first place.

As a Light Speeder Arcee can reach speeds of up too 290 MPH.

In terms of weaponry Arcee is armed with a Rifle that discharges and focused electrical bolt of energy with pin point accuracy. Also in her inventory she carries a finely crafted saber. Whilst obviously acting as a bladed weapon the Saber also carries an electrical charge of its own, allowing an additional extra punch against opponents with thicker armor.

Human Avatar: A young woman in her early twenties, with her blonde hair tied back in a pony tail. Her usual attire consists of a pink t-shirt, along with a denim jacket and jeans.

Weaknesses: Arcee‘s frame is relatively fragile and, if caught in a crossfire can not, and will not, sustain much damage.

Writing Sample:

Speed had become pivotal, velocity her ally as she tore down the rugged terrain with a wild protesting of her suspension, wheels churning the dirt beneath her tires as her engine grunted and roared with energon guzzling fury. Sleek chassis gleaming, bolts of incandescent light and blinding arcs of white hot plasma taking it in turns to tear apart the terrain to either side of her, granite and mounds of dirt all but evaporating amidst a hornets nests of explosions as the Decepticons defensive position unleashed seven shades of hell down into the pass, churning the valley into a slaughter field for the mechanized and the brave.

All across the rapidly advancing line, the light of dawn caught every shade of color, three dozen Autobots of every stripe and every creed squeezing every ounce of valor from out of their collective frames as pistons thundered and servos cried. Hot Rod, Springer, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Bluestreak and more and more, Arcee’s spark soaring to be amongst such company and shattering as one valiant soul fell and then a second, a third ruptured clean in two, struck down by ill fortune and his future erased with a single flash of unleashed malice.

Fool hardy such a charge could have been called, suicidal; Prime was not far behind them, an entire cohort of heavy support making pace to support their lightning advance and yet... speed had become pivotal. Time was no longer on their side; the sands had slipped away from them, the Decepticons ready to unleash their payloads upon humanity and the loss of lives unforgivable.

They advanced, as dawn broke and their support was not ready, they advanced into the very teeth of their enemies through a ravine the Decepticons had chosen. They advanced and did not falter, four became five, five became six, seven, eight, a dozen, Autobots all, reduced to burning ruin and lost potential, the killing fields earning their name and breaking the brave upon the alter and yet... speed had become pivotal.

Speed had become their ally...

The last five hundred yards had become four, four hundred yards had become three, and three hundred yards had become two. The barricades were closing, the Decepticons were panicking, light flooded the valley from the heavens and robbed the condescend bursts of their artillery of their horror, the Autobots in all their livery shining from bumper to rear end, engines screaming and sparks bursting as every single one of them eked out that last ounce of power to increase their velocity still further, Arcee joining her comrades in lending her voice in an open channel war cry, one that could be heard clearly across the faltering barricades of the Decepticons.

Two hundred yards became one hundred and the heavens spoke, Arcee feeling the force of the artillery before she saw it, friendly fire swarming across the skies towards the enemies’ position as she knew, without seeing, the Prime had arrived and brought the full fury of Warpaths Brigade with him. Those last one hundred yards flashed by without blinking, the last ten heralding a massed transformation, Arcee’s own sleek frame almost launching upwards into the sky as she commanded her beguiling frame to switch forms. Momentum carried her up, lunatic speeds propelling her forwards through the air as she flipped and twisted, arms and legs unfolding as the corvette became a warrior, clearing the barricades along side of comrades, her friends... her family... and with sword in hand, joined them in taking the fight to the Decepticons.

So this funny thing happened... a couple months ago I had contemplated trying to translate Nightbird from the cartoon version to a functioning robot, abandoned the idea... then Hasbro goes and makes a Nightbird toy. So, I'm like: Really? Now they have challenged me!

All this while, since Bomb Burst has been being irritated by his assassin unit (that I never intended to actually put to any use but did anyway, Stranglehold forced me! I couldn't resist! I really couldn't!) I started thinking, though they should not be actually characters, that I've been involving them on a more personal level at least Bats' second in command should have a name and personality... soooo... the opportunity has presented itself... and I think Nightbird would be an excellent second in command for Bomb Burst...

I'm submitting her as a fan made since she wasn't actually a Transformer in the G1 cartoon, I figured that was the proper way to do it. Her weapon list is what she was actually had in the show (minus one or two things I didn't feel fit within fanmade constraints) but if any of them are a problem, I'm not attached to any of them (except maybe the sai's and the katanas, I do admit )

Smokey, her sample post I wanted to focus more on her personality than her combat skills since she didn't have a personality in the cartoon, but we saw plenty of aft kicking. Well, her personality and how she handles Bomb Burst. If you'd rather have more combat skills, I'd be happy to do another one for the app.





Name: Nightbird
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Mercenary/reconnaissance
Alt. mode: Cybertronian Sports Car
Weapons: Nunchaku, Pair of Sai Daggers, Wrist Mounted Grappling Hook, Energized Shuriken (Numerous), Pair of Katanas
Height: 24 ft /7.31m
Quote: “There are no secrets that can not be found."

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 5
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Nightbird came about as a result of an attempt of a former senator's desire to have his own spy. Before the war, he employed a young scout just beginning training, shaping her skills to become a silent spy to collect information on his fellow senators. She was able to do this to his satisfaction, espionage coming easily to her.

She stayed in his employment until the fall of the Senate, however, she never joined a side, never became an Autobot or Decepticon. She wasn't concerned about faction in the least, her loyalty lay in who ever was currently paying her. When her benefactor "disappeared" she went on the hunt for employment with whomever needed her skills, bouncing between sides for a very short time, changing her name so not to draw connections between employers. However, this did not last long, without credentials, it became difficult to find work, even as a mercenary, employers suspicious of someone who would not declare faction.

She ended up joining the Decepticons, despite her long history of employment with the Senator, her own personal beliefs could could not align with the early Autobot ideals. As the war has raged on, she has found more and more Autobots would have never suited her, she finds them dishonorable and hypocritical. However, she still remains a mercenary to an extent, and still not entirely trusted.

Nightbird fell under the command of a unit scouting Earth in the early development of Eastern martial arts. The unit commander was particularly taken by Japanese martial arts and collected all the information he could on the fighting styles.

With an extensive compilation of fighting styles, upon returning to their ship, he locked himself away to write it into programming to download into his team's processors to 'instantly teach' them these arts feeling the style would be unorthodox amongst Cybertronians, thus giving him an edge. His intention was to give himself knowledge of all styles, his team certain sets based on their natural skills. They were guinea pigs (unwilling), so to speak, he tested on them first before doing it to himself.

His plan was foiled by a fleet of Autobot ships coming across them. Nightbird was in the CR Chamber recovering from the information dump, and the ship was attack, all the crew being killed or taken prisoner. Nightbird's repair cycle completed mid battle, she managed escape attention and hide until the Autobots left the ship. She remained onboard, when it was safe she began an encoded distress signal and was found by a nearby Decepticon shuttle.

Despite the high hopes of her now dead commanding officer, she was not able to actually use the knowledge he download as an instant learning of skills. She possess the knowledge of the skills but has spent ages learning to use them. She practices all aspects intensily. She may take to it easily because of the programming, but she isn't totally effective until she spends a great deal of time training it. Thusly, she will not consider herself a master until she feels she has mastered patience, focus, and clarity, though to the untrained she seems to have achieved these, she feels far from truly having mastered them. She continues to work towards these goals with single minded focus.

She has a very strong, calm, intuitive personality. Not particularly chatty, but very commanding. It has helped her navigate through the Decepticon army while remaining somewhat of a mercenary. She 'reads' others well, very observant she easily picks up on emotions of others. She is often given more leeway to choose her assignments presented to her.

Most recently she fell under the command of Bomb Burst’s unit of elite assassins and scouts due to her extensive skills in both area. Appointed his second in command (not by Bomb Burst’s choice), she has, begrudgingly, won something that slightly resembles respect from the Vampire for her skills and vice versa.

Abilities: Programmed with an extensive knowledge of Earth martial arts, Nightbird is a vast repository of deadly skills, but is still unlocking those skills. Her skill set includes kenjutsu, shurikenjutsu, bojutsu, and karate. Her primary focus is on recon and intell skills, where her natural abilities of obfuscation are most valuable.

Primarily her color scheme is black and dark gray, her smaller size allows her to hide in tighter spaces allowing her to eavesdrop and watch from cover. Through ages of training she has been able to overcome the desire to shift position, move, or fidget even if she spends long time spans in one uncomfortable position.

Her focus and patience coupled with near silent movement and excellent obfuscation skills has made her excellent at reconnaissance missions, espionage, and scouting. This has put her in dangerous situations that her martial arts skill has been put to the test. She specifically tries to avoid being hit and disabling an attacker quickly. She has spent a lot of time developing observation skills, her intuitive personality helping quickly and keenly gaining nuanced details from her targets.

Lightly armored she moves near silently in robot mode and her Cybertronian Car alt mode is also light, fairly fast, and maneuverable. Her hand to hand combat abilities are impressive, she prefers to strike first and strike offensively, her defense is avoidance, she easily dodges and maneuvers, as well as quite capable of escaping combat situations as she is in sneaking into places.


Weaknesses: Lightly armored has great disadvantages, of course, she is particularly vulnerable if hit. Thus it makes her a bit more reluctant to engage in melee, despite being very competent in hand to hand combat due to her training.



Nightbird was not happy, to say the least. That slagging vampire was buzzing in her ear demanding intell she did not yet have, and the whole situation on Garrus 9 had gone from bad to worse in a fraction of a second.
'Calm...' She whispered to herself. From her vantage point she was hiding in she could see the battle unfolding, but was safely from it.

Her unit was cut off, and communications were being cut off as well by an outside force. It was utter chaos in the north wing of the penitentiary, and the rest of her unit was in the southern wing.

>>"Sir...<< She finally said softly in her comm. >>"I have nothing to report right now, but I'm going to try to move to your position. I will keep a look out for anything that might help you. I'm going silent now, I don't know how long the comms are going to remain up or secure."<<

She muted her comm, not sure of what would happen with the communications as every message she had gotten from her commander was riddled with static and breaking up. But she didn't need to stay in touch, she worked just as well on her own.

Switching to her alt mode was a bit out of the question, fast was not important right now, avoiding detection was. She would need to keep watch for anything that might be important as she moved through a rioting prison. In all the chaos, she kept her calm, deftly moving in the shadows and across the more rugged of passages, her smaller stature allowing her to make it through passages that normally aren't well traversed in the condition they were in.

Virtually unnoticed she made it across the prison, witnessed Omega Supreme smash through the complex, taking to the skies, which at least was something she could report to Bomb Burst, ending her journey back at the southern wing of the prison where the rest of her team was holed up.

Once she had arrived at the southern wing, the combat was over. Even amongst trained assassins, she slipped in without being seen and made her way to her commander. Though he certainly noticed her, a gentle flick of his optics before she had reveled herself told her he was aware she was there. Her stealth was by skill alone, not aided by a cloaking device, something they both felt made for a truly great recon mech. Neither depended on one.

"What?" Bomb Burst said gruffly.

'Ugh...' Went through her mind as she looked up to the taller mech. "Nothing much, sir. Just the usual fighting as the prisoners were broke free."

"And the ground shattering boom?" The Vampire asked a little irritated sounding.

Nightbird smirked just a little bit. "I knew you'd ask about that. Omega Supreme shot out of the ground and took to the skies. I'm assuming we didn't know he was here."

Never looking at her, Bomb Burst shook his head. "Not that I was aware of." He said softly. "But it's not like they keep me in the loop. That's what I have you for, to find me information."

She bowed her head a bit partly out of respect, partly to hide a smirk. She didn't exactly understand the Vampire, they had vastly different mindsets, he enjoyed chaos while she preferred order; but she knew very well he valued her skills at reconnaissance and espionage. What they had in common was a desire for information, and he found her methods of getting it complemented his own.

Though the bowed head became a slight nod of acknowledgement of that what passed as a compliment in both their minds was received. "Otherwise, it seems the major part of the battle has concluded, there's still a big scuffle from below... where Omega Supreme emerged, but the battle has wound down to our favor. Communications are being restored. And I have some information of a personal nature you will find interesting. Bludgeon is here."

If Bomb Burst was surprised by her news, he didn't show it. She was good at reading others, but he was tough at times.

"I suspected this was where they were holding Bludgeon." He responded flatly.

"It seems like a logical place to imprison him." She agreed. "Also... I would be remiss if I didn't point out you look... hungry, sir."

'Oh Primus... the frown..' She thought to herself noting the scowl that had etched on to Bomb Burst's faceplate. She hated that look from him. So many vorns of service under him and she knew that frown meant she had just irritated him.

"A good second in command not only delivers orders and looks after the well being of the unit, but also it's commander." She said softly. "And both your unit and I would prefer you not use us for refueling."

"How did you find out about Bludgeon? You would have told me if you had visual."

"I saw a prisoner manifest. Passed by his cell but he was no longer in it." Nightbird answered with a sigh as Bomb Burst was avoiding her suggestion. She deftly steered back to her concerns. "I didn't see any Autobots not engaged in battle, but perhaps one of the Insecticon clones might do for a snack? I have to assume there's a stray prison guard out there somewhere as well."

Finally, Bomb Burst looked down at her for the first time since she had entered the room. In a quick motion, faster than the optic could register, both of them moved, he showing the silver fangs, brushing them against her shoulder, her drawing a sai just as fast as he went for her shoulder and holding it firmly, but not piercing, his throat. No fear was in her optics, no anger, simply calmness as she assessed his intentions, though this was a behavior the two had often engaged in. He testing her resolve and she his.
"Thank you for seeing it my way, sir." She said calmly as she was drawing back her sai.

"Who am I to argue when you're right?" He whispered in her audio receptor as he raised back up his head.

"You always argue."

"So I do."

She shook her head. "All I care is that you don't drain the energon out of me." She said waving the tip of her sai in the direction of the door. >>"The commander is going hunting... I'm in charge."<< She announced over the comm, her eyes fixed on Bomb Burst. She thought she detected a slight smirk from him as he backed up a few steps before turning for the door, transforming as he did.

>>"Recon."<< Bomb Burst privately communicated.

She nodded briefly, despite him being out of visual range. >>Everyone out, recon time. We need to know what's going on out there. Particularly what's going on in the mines."<<

As everyone scattered to follow her orders, she mentally set herself to 'calm' mode. In the chaos of battle, keeping collected was extremely important, in the chaos of the aftermath, even more important to keep collected. She never liked to show a crack in her calm exterior so she never let herself lose her cool.

MommyBear wrote:Morning, Afternoon, Evening all *waves*

All new, shiny and generally sleep deprived (babies are hard, no-one warned me, no-one!!), and hoping that I can apply for Arcee I've noticed that she is listed as being used as an NPC, and I'm hoping that means I can pick her up providing I pass the application *nod*

I have wilfully swiped her your existing profile page for her, and added my sample text at the end. I'm not entirely sure if it's what you're looking for, and I may have gotten a little carried away with writing it. Hopefully you will still enjoy it *nod*

Anyways, here it is...

Arcee

Allegiance: Autobot.
Function: Warrior.
Alt. mode: A Pink and White, Open Top, C4 Corvette Convertible.
Weapons: Electrical Disperser Rifle, Electro Saber.
Height: 28ft / 8.54m
Quote: “Looks are always deceiving“

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 8
Endurance: 5
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 9
Tech Skill: 6
Charisma: 7
Rank: 6

Profile: Arcee is a Fembot of contradictions. Whilst kind, loyal and entirely dedicated to the well being of her friends she is also utterly merciless and entirely ruthless towards her enemies, the Decepticons. The shift in personality is seamless and, during the course of battle, can and will switch between one and the other without warning.

As an Autobot, you could not ask for a better and more trustworthy friend, as a Decepticon, at least you can be thankful for a swift death. She is not inherently malicious, nor violent, in nature, and would in fact be thankful if war ended tomorrow, but so long as the Decepticons remain hell bent of distributing their brand of genocide, Arcee is all to willing to return the favor.

During times of peace Arcee is often a morale officer within the Autobot ranks, helping those around her cope with the trials of a war torn world. Whilst understanding and often willing to listen Arcee is also extremely opinionated and isn’t afraid to state what she believes in, always offering reasons to back it up.

In the past Arcee, due to her more delicate frame in comparison to her male based counterparts, has often been underestimated and her value to the war effort easily dismissed. It is these perceptions she has, in recent years, cast off through example, and now, she never intends for her efforts to be so easily dismissed again.

Not by her colleagues and most certainly not by the Decepticons.


Abilities: Through first hand experience on the battlefield, and driven by a desire too prove herself too her larger fellow Autobots, Arcee has rounded out into an versatile Warrior. As both an accomplished Marksmen, and skilled in close combat, Arcee has forged herself into a valuable asset in any conflict.

Arcee’s armor is relatively light, even in comparison to the average Autobot. In trade she is exceptionally agile, enabling her avoid enemy firepower rather than absorb it. She considers this a satisfactory state of affairs; after all, it is far better than to not get shot in the first place.

As a Light Speeder Arcee can reach speeds of up too 290 MPH.

In terms of weaponry Arcee is armed with a Rifle that discharges and focused electrical bolt of energy with pin point accuracy. Also in her inventory she carries a finely crafted saber. Whilst obviously acting as a bladed weapon the Saber also carries an electrical charge of its own, allowing an additional extra punch against opponents with thicker armor.

Human Avatar: A young woman in her early twenties, with her blonde hair tied back in a pony tail. Her usual attire consists of a pink t-shirt, along with a denim jacket and jeans.

Weaknesses: Arcee‘s frame is relatively fragile and, if caught in a crossfire can not, and will not, sustain much damage.

Writing Sample:

Speed had become pivotal, velocity her ally as she tore down the rugged terrain with a wild protesting of her suspension, wheels churning the dirt beneath her tires as her engine grunted and roared with energon guzzling fury. Sleek chassis gleaming, bolts of incandescent light and blinding arcs of white hot plasma taking it in turns to tear apart the terrain to either side of her, granite and mounds of dirt all but evaporating amidst a hornets nests of explosions as the Decepticons defensive position unleashed seven shades of hell down into the pass, churning the valley into a slaughter field for the mechanized and the brave.

All across the rapidly advancing line, the light of dawn caught every shade of color, three dozen Autobots of every stripe and every creed squeezing every ounce of valor from out of their collective frames as pistons thundered and servos cried. Hot Rod, Springer, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Bluestreak and more and more, Arcee’s spark soaring to be amongst such company and shattering as one valiant soul fell and then a second, a third ruptured clean in two, struck down by ill fortune and his future erased with a single flash of unleashed malice.

Fool hardy such a charge could have been called, suicidal; Prime was not far behind them, an entire cohort of heavy support making pace to support their lightning advance and yet... speed had become pivotal. Time was no longer on their side; the sands had slipped away from them, the Decepticons ready to unleash their payloads upon humanity and the loss of lives unforgivable.

They advanced, as dawn broke and their support was not ready, they advanced into the very teeth of their enemies through a ravine the Decepticons had chosen. They advanced and did not falter, four became five, five became six, seven, eight, a dozen, Autobots all, reduced to burning ruin and lost potential, the killing fields earning their name and breaking the brave upon the alter and yet... speed had become pivotal.

Speed had become their ally...

The last five hundred yards had become four, four hundred yards had become three, and three hundred yards had become two. The barricades were closing, the Decepticons were panicking, light flooded the valley from the heavens and robbed the condescend bursts of their artillery of their horror, the Autobots in all their livery shining from bumper to rear end, engines screaming and sparks bursting as every single one of them eked out that last ounce of power to increase their velocity still further, Arcee joining her comrades in lending her voice in an open channel war cry, one that could be heard clearly across the faltering barricades of the Decepticons.

Two hundred yards became one hundred and the heavens spoke, Arcee feeling the force of the artillery before she saw it, friendly fire swarming across the skies towards the enemies’ position as she knew, without seeing, the Prime had arrived and brought the full fury of Warpaths Brigade with him. Those last one hundred yards flashed by without blinking, the last ten heralding a massed transformation, Arcee’s own sleek frame almost launching upwards into the sky as she commanded her beguiling frame to switch forms. Momentum carried her up, lunatic speeds propelling her forwards through the air as she flipped and twisted, arms and legs unfolding as the corvette became a warrior, clearing the barricades along side of comrades, her friends... her family... and with sword in hand, joined them in taking the fight to the Decepticons.

Hello, MommyBear and welcome to the boards! So, I've had a look see at your application. The Arcee profile is already pre-approved so you are good to go there. Your sample post is solid and very well written. Nice job! I think you're going to fit right in around here. Therefore, you are approved. Welcome to the RPG!

No need to post the profile in the Autobots section as it's already there. Just make an entry in the roll call here: http://www.seibertron.com/energonpub/roll-call-t44702.php. After that you can get started posting.

Arcee was last seen in the bounce chamber in the Ark-22 thread. She was bringing a stasis-locked Hot Rod (my character) back from Australia to get medical attention after he was possessed by the Fallen during the battle in Australia. I would go and read through the Australia thread a bit and the last few Ark-22 posts to get a sense for what Arcee has been doing recently. If you have any questions or need help just let me or anyone around here know. We are more than willing to help you out.

You should also, if you haven't already, read through the Game History and Notes & the RPG Rules and Guidelines sections to get a better sense of how the game is played. They can be found at that following links:

http://www.seibertron.com/energonpub/game-history-and-notes-t45197.php
http://www.seibertron.com/energonpub/rpg-rules-and-guidelines-t33651.php

Again, welcome aboard, and most importantly have fun!

Ruckus

Allegiance:Decepticon
Sub-group:triggercon
Function:combat assault
Alternate Modes:indigo and tan baja buggy
Weapons:heavy duty rocket launchers, axe
Special Abilities:flip-out cannons
Height: 6ft/ 1.8288m
Quote: “I take a licking and keep on kicking."


Strength:8
Intelligence:8
Dexterity:4
Speed:5
Endurance:3
Courage:8
Firepower:8
Accuracy:5
Melee:4
Tech Skill:7
Charisma:8
Rank:

Profile:Ruckus is one BIG loudmouth his voice is SO loud it annoys the other decepticons he's a rolling bucket of bolts, and he always looks like he just lost a big demolition derby, even though he is small he packs a big punch he is always ready to take big risks on the battlefield but ONLY because he's in a state of disrepair a deadly devastating warrior he is only devoted to winning and that's it. he sometimes has subtle thoughts of overthrowing Megatron like Starscream. he misses his home cybertron and has dreams of drinking 5 tons of dark energon to become super-powerful, his baja buggy alt-mode helps him cross the deserts of earth, his sometimes cranky nature prompts him to make new decepticons call him uncle ruckus he loves to plunge into the thick of things especially when it causes a great big crash his missile launchers fire mercury tipped explosives, he hates triggerbot backstreet deep inside he is insecure about his position in the decepticon cause and is wondering if he should start his own faction

Abilities: none sadly other than is annoying loud voice

Weaknesses: since he's got low melee then challenge him to a fistfight then he will surely lose, also his feelings are easily hurt

ctrlFrequency wrote:So this funny thing happened... a couple months ago I had contemplated trying to translate Nightbird from the cartoon version to a functioning robot, abandoned the idea... then Hasbro goes and makes a Nightbird toy. So, I'm like: Really? Now they have challenged me!

All this while, since Bomb Burst has been being irritated by his assassin unit (that I never intended to actually put to any use but did anyway, Stranglehold forced me! I couldn't resist! I really couldn't!) I started thinking, though they should not be actually characters, that I've been involving them on a more personal level at least Bats' second in command should have a name and personality... soooo... the opportunity has presented itself... and I think Nightbird would be an excellent second in command for Bomb Burst...

I'm submitting her as a fan made since she wasn't actually a Transformer in the G1 cartoon, I figured that was the proper way to do it. Her weapon list is what she was actually had in the show (minus one or two things I didn't feel fit within fanmade constraints) but if any of them are a problem, I'm not attached to any of them (except maybe the sai's and the katanas, I do admit )

Smokey, her sample post I wanted to focus more on her personality than her combat skills since she didn't have a personality in the cartoon, but we saw plenty of aft kicking. Well, her personality and how she handles Bomb Burst. If you'd rather have more combat skills, I'd be happy to do another one for the app.





Name: Nightbird
Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Mercenary/reconnaissance
Alt. mode: Cybertronian Sports Car
Weapons: Nunchaku, Pair of Sai Daggers, Wrist Mounted Grappling Hook, Energized Shuriken (Numerous), Pair of Katanas
Height: 24 ft /7.31m
Quote: “There are no secrets that can not be found."

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 8
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 5
Charisma: 5
Rank:

Profile: Nightbird came about as a result of an attempt of a former senator's desire to have his own spy. Before the war, he employed a young scout just beginning training, shaping her skills to become a silent spy to collect information on his fellow senators. She was able to do this to his satisfaction, espionage coming easily to her.

She stayed in his employment until the fall of the Senate, however, she never joined a side, never became an Autobot or Decepticon. She wasn't concerned about faction in the least, her loyalty lay in who ever was currently paying her. When her benefactor "disappeared" she went on the hunt for employment with whomever needed her skills, bouncing between sides for a very short time, changing her name so not to draw connections between employers. However, this did not last long, without credentials, it became difficult to find work, even as a mercenary, employers suspicious of someone who would not declare faction.

She ended up joining the Decepticons, despite her long history of employment with the Senator, her own personal beliefs could could not align with the early Autobot ideals. As the war has raged on, she has found more and more Autobots would have never suited her, she finds them dishonorable and hypocritical. However, she still remains a mercenary to an extent, and still not entirely trusted.

Nightbird fell under the command of a unit scouting Earth in the early development of Eastern martial arts. The unit commander was particularly taken by Japanese martial arts and collected all the information he could on the fighting styles.

With an extensive compilation of fighting styles, upon returning to their ship, he locked himself away to write it into programming to download into his team's processors to 'instantly teach' them these arts feeling the style would be unorthodox amongst Cybertronians, thus giving him an edge. His intention was to give himself knowledge of all styles, his team certain sets based on their natural skills. They were guinea pigs (unwilling), so to speak, he tested on them first before doing it to himself.

His plan was foiled by a fleet of Autobot ships coming across them. Nightbird was in the CR Chamber recovering from the information dump, and the ship was attack, all the crew being killed or taken prisoner. Nightbird's repair cycle completed mid battle, she managed escape attention and hide until the Autobots left the ship. She remained onboard, when it was safe she began an encoded distress signal and was found by a nearby Decepticon shuttle.

Despite the high hopes of her now dead commanding officer, she was not able to actually use the knowledge he download as an instant learning of skills. She possess the knowledge of the skills but has spent ages learning to use them. She practices all aspects intensily. She may take to it easily because of the programming, but she isn't totally effective until she spends a great deal of time training it. Thusly, she will not consider herself a master until she feels she has mastered patience, focus, and clarity, though to the untrained she seems to have achieved these, she feels far from truly having mastered them. She continues to work towards these goals with single minded focus.

She has a very strong, calm, intuitive personality. Not particularly chatty, but very commanding. It has helped her navigate through the Decepticon army while remaining somewhat of a mercenary. She 'reads' others well, very observant she easily picks up on emotions of others. She is often given more leeway to choose her assignments presented to her.

Most recently she fell under the command of Bomb Burst’s unit of elite assassins and scouts due to her extensive skills in both area. Appointed his second in command (not by Bomb Burst’s choice), she has, begrudgingly, won something that slightly resembles respect from the Vampire for her skills and vice versa.

Abilities: Programmed with an extensive knowledge of Earth martial arts, Nightbird is a vast repository of deadly skills, but is still unlocking those skills. Her skill set includes kenjutsu, shurikenjutsu, bojutsu, and karate. Her primary focus is on recon and intell skills, where her natural abilities of obfuscation are most valuable.

Primarily her color scheme is black and dark gray, her smaller size allows her to hide in tighter spaces allowing her to eavesdrop and watch from cover. Through ages of training she has been able to overcome the desire to shift position, move, or fidget even if she spends long time spans in one uncomfortable position.

Her focus and patience coupled with near silent movement and excellent obfuscation skills has made her excellent at reconnaissance missions, espionage, and scouting. This has put her in dangerous situations that her martial arts skill has been put to the test. She specifically tries to avoid being hit and disabling an attacker quickly. She has spent a lot of time developing observation skills, her intuitive personality helping quickly and keenly gaining nuanced details from her targets.

Lightly armored she moves near silently in robot mode and her Cybertronian Car alt mode is also light, fairly fast, and maneuverable. Her hand to hand combat abilities are impressive, she prefers to strike first and strike offensively, her defense is avoidance, she easily dodges and maneuvers, as well as quite capable of escaping combat situations as she is in sneaking into places.


Weaknesses: Lightly armored has great disadvantages, of course, she is particularly vulnerable if hit. Thus it makes her a bit more reluctant to engage in melee, despite being very competent in hand to hand combat due to her training.

---Sample Post---

Nightbird was not happy, to say the least. That slagging vampire was buzzing in her ear demanding intell she did not yet have, and the whole situation on Garrus 9 had gone from bad to worse in a fraction of a second.
'Calm...' She whispered to herself. From her vantage point she was hiding in she could see the battle unfolding, but was safely from it.

Her unit was cut off, and communications were being cut off as well by an outside force. It was utter chaos in the north wing of the penitentiary, and the rest of her unit was in the southern wing.

>>"Sir...<< She finally said softly in her comm. >>"I have nothing to report right now, but I'm going to try to move to your position. I will keep a look out for anything that might help you. I'm going silent now, I don't know how long the comms are going to remain up or secure."<<

She muted her comm, not sure of what would happen with the communications as every message she had gotten from her commander was riddled with static and breaking up. But she didn't need to stay in touch, she worked just as well on her own.

Switching to her alt mode was a bit out of the question, fast was not important right now, avoiding detection was. She would need to keep watch for anything that might be important as she moved through a rioting prison. In all the chaos, she kept her calm, deftly moving in the shadows and across the more rugged of passages, her smaller stature allowing her to make it through passages that normally aren't well traversed in the condition they were in.

Virtually unnoticed she made it across the prison, witnessed Omega Supreme smash through the complex, taking to the skies, which at least was something she could report to Bomb Burst, ending her journey back at the southern wing of the prison where the rest of her team was holed up.

Once she had arrived at the southern wing, the combat was over. Even amongst trained assassins, she slipped in without being seen and made her way to her commander. Though he certainly noticed her, a gentle flick of his optics before she had reveled herself told her he was aware she was there. Her stealth was by skill alone, not aided by a cloaking device, something they both felt made for a truly great recon mech. Neither depended on one.

"What?" Bomb Burst said gruffly.

'Ugh...' Went through her mind as she looked up to the taller mech. "Nothing much, sir. Just the usual fighting as the prisoners were broke free."

"And the ground shattering boom?" The Vampire asked a little irritated sounding.

Nightbird smirked just a little bit. "I knew you'd ask about that. Omega Supreme shot out of the ground and took to the skies. I'm assuming we didn't know he was here."

Never looking at her, Bomb Burst shook his head. "Not that I was aware of." He said softly. "But it's not like they keep me in the loop. That's what I have you for, to find me information."

She bowed her head a bit partly out of respect, partly to hide a smirk. She didn't exactly understand the Vampire, they had vastly different mindsets, he enjoyed chaos while she preferred order; but she knew very well he valued her skills at reconnaissance and espionage. What they had in common was a desire for information, and he found her methods of getting it complemented his own.

Though the bowed head became a slight nod of acknowledgement of that what passed as a compliment in both their minds was received. "Otherwise, it seems the major part of the battle has concluded, there's still a big scuffle from below... where Omega Supreme emerged, but the battle has wound down to our favor. Communications are being restored. And I have some information of a personal nature you will find interesting. Bludgeon is here."

If Bomb Burst was surprised by her news, he didn't show it. She was good at reading others, but he was tough at times.

"I suspected this was where they were holding Bludgeon." He responded flatly.

"It seems like a logical place to imprison him." She agreed. "Also... I would be remiss if I didn't point out you look... hungry, sir."

'Oh Primus... the frown..' She thought to herself noting the scowl that had etched on to Bomb Burst's faceplate. She hated that look from him. So many vorns of service under him and she knew that frown meant she had just irritated him.

"A good second in command not only delivers orders and looks after the well being of the unit, but also it's commander." She said softly. "And both your unit and I would prefer you not use us for refueling."

"How did you find out about Bludgeon? You would have told me if you had visual."

"I saw a prisoner manifest. Passed by his cell but he was no longer in it." Nightbird answered with a sigh as Bomb Burst was avoiding her suggestion. She deftly steered back to her concerns. "I didn't see any Autobots not engaged in battle, but perhaps one of the Insecticon clones might do for a snack? I have to assume there's a stray prison guard out there somewhere as well."

Finally, Bomb Burst looked down at her for the first time since she had entered the room. In a quick motion, faster than the optic could register, both of them moved, he showing the silver fangs, brushing them against her shoulder, her drawing a sai just as fast as he went for her shoulder and holding it firmly, but not piercing, his throat. No fear was in her optics, no anger, simply calmness as she assessed his intentions, though this was a behavior the two had often engaged in. He testing her resolve and she his.
"Thank you for seeing it my way, sir." She said calmly as she was drawing back her sai.

"Who am I to argue when you're right?" He whispered in her audio receptor as he raised back up his head.

"You always argue."

"So I do."

She shook her head. "All I care is that you don't drain the energon out of me." She said waving the tip of her sai in the direction of the door. >>"The commander is going hunting... I'm in charge."<< She announced over the comm, her eyes fixed on Bomb Burst. She thought she detected a slight smirk from him as he backed up a few steps before turning for the door, transforming as he did.

>>"Recon."<< Bomb Burst privately communicated.

She nodded briefly, despite him being out of visual range. >>Everyone out, recon time. We need to know what's going on out there. Particularly what's going on in the mines."<<

As everyone scattered to follow her orders, she mentally set herself to 'calm' mode. In the chaos of battle, keeping collected was extremely important, in the chaos of the aftermath, even more important to keep collected. She never liked to show a crack in her calm exterior so she never let herself lose her cool.

Okay, sorry for the delay. This app was a bit of a challenge for me to review so it took some time and consideration. That and the recent power failure.

Anyway, this is not a bad first attempt at making Nightbird into a real Cybertronian character, but there are some things that need to be worked on before I can approve it. Let’s start with the small stuff and then work up to the larger issue I have.

First, your sample post is good. You write well so no problems there. Second, you’ll need to lower your strength stat to 6. Since she’s a lithe character with low endurance and high dexterity, she would not have a strength of 7. It would be average at best. Third, you’ll need to include a gun of some sort since you have a firepower of 6. No gun or rifle means a firepower of 0. Plus, since you’re treating Nightbird as a Cybertronian (and not a drone like in the cartoon) she would have had some form of training in terms of shooting a gun. It can be a simple laser pistol that she uses only when she really needs to. Maybe, you could have her not like it but begrudgingly carries it just in case or at her commanding officer’s insistence.

Now, the last thing that needs to be changed is within the profile, itself. Her background is interesting if not a little complex. However, the main problem I have is with her Earth martial arts abilities and how she got them. For starters, while it’s possible that the cons scouted Earth at some point in the past, it opens up a lot of questions such as: why? when exactly? to what extent? Furthermore, the information dump that would “instantly teach” a mech martial arts sounds a little too Matrix-y to me. Neo learned Kung fu like that but that’s not really how Cybertronians learn things. They can learn very much as humans do only faster since they are machines and can remember what they see and hear better. Also, there’s really nothing that Earth-style fighting can do that’s better than what Cybertronians have already developed, themselves, such as Circuit-Su and Metallikato. So, I don’t see why any mech would want to download or teach an inferior style of fighting to their crew.

For those reasons, I feel it would be best to remove the Earth martial arts abilities and replace them with Cybertronian ones. My suggestions would be Metallikato (where bladed combat is used a lot) and perhaps even Circuit-Su, parts of which is also utilized within Metallikato. I think these Cybertronian-based fighting skills would suit the character better and simplify her background some. Of course, you will need to rework her profile to explain where she learned Metallikato and Circuit-Su, but I’m confident that you’ll come up with something interesting that will work well in the game.

As a suggestion, perhaps you could have it where Nightbird tried to teach herself those Cybertronian arts early on but did not do well on her own. Eventually, a master found her and taught her the proper way, making her one of the best. Just an idea.

Anyway, make those changes to Nightbird’s profile that I’ve mentioned above and then we’ll take a another look at it. Of course, if you have any questions or need help don’t hesitate to ask.

Nicorange wrote:Ruckus

Allegiance:Decepticon
Sub-group:triggercon
Function:combat assault
Alternate Modes:indigo and tan baja buggy
Weapons:heavy duty rocket launchers, axe
Special Abilities:flip-out cannons
Height: 6ft/ 1.8288m
Quote: “I take a licking and keep on kicking."


Strength:8
Intelligence:8
Dexterity:4
Speed:5
Endurance:3
Courage:8
Firepower:8
Accuracy:5
Melee:4
Tech Skill:7
Charisma:8
Rank:

Profile:Ruckus is one BIG loudmouth his voice is SO loud it annoys the other decepticons he's a rolling bucket of bolts, and he always looks like he just lost a big demolition derby, even though he is small he packs a big punch he is always ready to take big risks on the battlefield but ONLY because he's in a state of disrepair a deadly devastating warrior he is only devoted to winning and that's it. he sometimes has subtle thoughts of overthrowing Megatron like Starscream. he misses his home cybertron and has dreams of drinking 5 tons of dark energon to become super-powerful, his baja buggy alt-mode helps him cross the deserts of earth, his sometimes cranky nature prompts him to make new decepticons call him uncle ruckus he loves to plunge into the thick of things especially when it causes a great big crash his missile launchers fire mercury tipped explosives, he hates triggerbot backstreet deep inside he is insecure about his position in the decepticon cause and is wondering if he should start his own faction

Abilities: none sadly other than is annoying loud voice

Weaknesses: since he's got low melee then challenge him to a fistfight then he will surely lose, also his feelings are easily hurt

I'm afraid I must deny this application in its current state. For starters, you don't have a sample post, which disqualifies it from the onset. However, there are additional problems that must be addressed, as well. The profile, itself, is basically two run-on sentences (and one short one) with very little structure or proper punctuation or capitalization. It's very hard to read and contains aspects that are not really part of his established personality. The abilities section is wrong as Ruckus does in fact have abilities which do not include being loud. His weaknesses are also incorrect for the character as melee and hurt feelings are not among them. Plus, his height is wrong. There's no way he's only 6 feet tall. He's may be a little short for a Cybertronian, but he's not the size of a human.

I would suggest using the MTMTE profile that was written for this character as a basis here. It can be found online with a little research. You can also look at his original G1 profile spec and incorporate that if you like. Then write a sample post and I'll have another look at it.

I would also suggest reading through the RPG History and Notes section along with the Rules and Guidelines to get a feel for how the game is played and what we expect from our players.

Ok. i will try again



Sunstorm

Allegiance: decepticcon
Sub-group: seekers
Function: aerospace warrior
Alternate Modes:f-15(earth) tetrajet (cybertron)
Weapons: null rays
Special Abilities: can generate electromagnetic pulses
Height: 31ft/ 9.4488m
Quote: “i must fly higher to reach the heavens"


Strength:6
Intelligence:6
Dexterity:6
Speed:9
Endurance:7
Courage:8
Firepower:9
Accuracy:7
Melee:4
Tech Skill:7
Charisma:9
Rank:

Profile: Sunstorm's original manufacturing took place during a fierce period of insurgency in one of Cybertron's chief industrial sectors. As the result of a riot at a nearby power substation, quality control was disrupted along the assembly line for Sunstorm's model type, and a host of electromagnetic anomalies crept into his individual design. These anomalies produce a continual cascading effect in Sunstorm's primary fusion reactor, allowing it to operate at power levels that are far greater - and far more hazardous - than those of his fellow Decepticons. Consequently, Sunstorm is engaged in a near-constant struggle to control the energy emissions that radiate from his superstructure, lest they cause severe damage to the systems of those around him.

Sunstorm's unique condition has bred in him a zealous belief that his strength and abilities derive from some mystical source, and that the potential immensity of his power is indicative of some supernatural endowment. He will often make rambling statements that appear to his fellow Decepticons as nothing more than senseless babble, but the truth to these outbursts is far more disconcerting: Sunstorm is nearly convinced that he is in fact a living god!

Abilities:In vehicle mode, Sunstorm's top atmospheric speed is just under Mach 2.0, though he is capable of reaching interstellar velocities well in excess of 15,000 kilometers per hour. In truth, he is capable of space travel at speeds that are virtually immeasurable, based on the untested capacity of his power core. He wields two mass driver cannons in robot mode which fire high-speed projectiles capable of punching though most types of advanced Cybertronian armor. In jet mode, he is armed with two heat-seeking missile launchers. When Sunstorm is able to maintain full control of his reactor core, he is capable of using it to generate incredibly powerful bursts of electromagnetic radiation.

Weaknesses : Sunstorm's peculiar habits, in addition to the deleterious effects that he is capable of causing teammates by his sheer presence, frequently causes him to be excluded from official missions. In jet mode, he rarely employs his own heat-seeking missiles - on the occasion his target evades their reach, the missiles are liable to turn back and target his own substantial heat signature!


sample post



Sunstorm was boasting like usual. everyone hated that USUAL. hotlink was missing UNusual sunstorm was leading a search party to find Hotlink. he searched everywhere on cybertron but he was nowhere to be found! the search party left except sunstorm and sunstorm wandered and wondered but he still couldn't find him and then he heard a noise SHEEAUGGGH!!!.... it sounded like it came from kaon which was nearby sunstorm dashed to kaon to find a beaten up busted up hotlink. sunstorm flew down and said to hotlink "Don't worry! I will cure you! 'cause I.. AM... A... LIVING.... GOOOOOOOD!" hotlink responded " heh i really don't think that is possible" then a cannon blast came out of nowhere aimed at hotlink but sunstorm jumped to block the blast and got damaged alot , the damaged sunstorm then said "i may be a idiotic bragger... but i will always save a friend." sunstorm then carried hotlink to the base and put him in a CR chamber and put himself in another. while sunstorm was healing he was blabbing on and on and on about his supernaturalness but sunstorm trailed of he realalized that i is not the time to brag that time will be when he is finished healing starscream visited sunstorm and hotlink and said "well... what happened?" then sunstorm and hotlink explaned the story to starscream , then sunstorm and hotlink were fully healed and sunstorm started bragging again , then skywarp put his hand on him ,teleported and pushed him down a set of stairs then sunstorm said "ughhh... back to normal...BECAUSE OF ME! uh-hu ya ya im the best yee-haw!" skywarp then blasted him like nothing ever happened. sunstorm was boasting. usual, hotlink was inventing. usual bitstream was missing UNusual. sunstorm didn't notice and he found himself in the same room as megatron sunstorm was radiating and melting the base megatron sent him to the VVH to get tortured for radiating it was painful sunstorm melted the device and then sunstorm transformed and flew to a autobot hidaway then he used his heat seeking missiles for the first time! and for the first time he killed autobots sunstorm then flew away and said "my pals have to hear this story cause 'im the best"



Did I do better? pleeese!

Seawing

Allegiance: Decepticons
Function: Undersea Reconnaissance
Alt. Mode: Amphibious Winged Beast
Weapons: 2 venom lasers.
Height: 26 ft / 7.93 m
Quote: “The darkest depths reveal the darkest secrets."

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8 in water, 6 as robot, 1 in manta mode on land
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 7
Tech. Skill: 9
Charisma: 8
Rank: 6

Profile: Seawing is the eeriest, most ominous Seacon-and he knows it. He glides through the ocean depths like a sinister steel specter, spreading fear among all who see him. This pleases him greatly. "Who better to rule than he to whom all bow," he reasons immodestly. Some Decepticons speculate that Seawing's ambitions go beyond the Seacons and reach to Decepticon Command itself. Not denying this, Seawing does much more to achieve his goals than merely frighten some tin-scaled robo-fish. He is an expert at his job, and he enjoys every moment of it. Once he zeroes in on a target, he uses his wits to surprise and then his armaments to destroy. And underwater, nothing escapes his notice or his grasp.

Abilities: In creature mode, Seawing employs a battery of sensors --electrical, chemical, infrared-- and long-range sonar in his reconnaissance missions. His sensitivity is such that he can locate a screw head on the ocean bottom up to 20,000 feet below him. He can detect and home in on anything living or moving in the water within a 20-mile radius. His maximum speed is 110 mph. In beast and robot modes, he is equipped with two venom lasers which shoot beams that paralyze on contact. In weapons station mode, he combines with the lasers to become a powerful dual proton blaster.

Weaknesses: In creature mode, Seawing's optical modules are adjusted to pick up the very dim light that reaches the ocean depths. As a result, he is very sensitive to bright light, and is easily blinded by sudden flashes underwater.

Sample Post: If Needed

Nicorange wrote:Ok. i will try again



Sunstorm

Allegiance: decepticcon
Sub-group: seekers
Function: aerospace warrior
Alternate Modes:f-15(earth) tetrajet (cybertron)
Weapons: null rays
Special Abilities: can generate electromagnetic pulses
Height: 31ft/ 9.4488m
Quote: “i must fly higher to reach the heavens"


Strength:6
Intelligence:6
Dexterity:6
Speed:9
Endurance:7
Courage:8
Firepower:9
Accuracy:7
Melee:4
Tech Skill:7
Charisma:9
Rank:

Profile: Sunstorm's original manufacturing took place during a fierce period of insurgency in one of Cybertron's chief industrial sectors. As the result of a riot at a nearby power substation, quality control was disrupted along the assembly line for Sunstorm's model type, and a host of electromagnetic anomalies crept into his individual design. These anomalies produce a continual cascading effect in Sunstorm's primary fusion reactor, allowing it to operate at power levels that are far greater - and far more hazardous - than those of his fellow Decepticons. Consequently, Sunstorm is engaged in a near-constant struggle to control the energy emissions that radiate from his superstructure, lest they cause severe damage to the systems of those around him.

Sunstorm's unique condition has bred in him a zealous belief that his strength and abilities derive from some mystical source, and that the potential immensity of his power is indicative of some supernatural endowment. He will often make rambling statements that appear to his fellow Decepticons as nothing more than senseless babble, but the truth to these outbursts is far more disconcerting: Sunstorm is nearly convinced that he is in fact a living god!

Abilities:In vehicle mode, Sunstorm's top atmospheric speed is just under Mach 2.0, though he is capable of reaching interstellar velocities well in excess of 15,000 kilometers per hour. In truth, he is capable of space travel at speeds that are virtually immeasurable, based on the untested capacity of his power core. He wields two mass driver cannons in robot mode which fire high-speed projectiles capable of punching though most types of advanced Cybertronian armor. In jet mode, he is armed with two heat-seeking missile launchers. When Sunstorm is able to maintain full control of his reactor core, he is capable of using it to generate incredibly powerful bursts of electromagnetic radiation.

Weaknesses : Sunstorm's peculiar habits, in addition to the deleterious effects that he is capable of causing teammates by his sheer presence, frequently causes him to be excluded from official missions. In jet mode, he rarely employs his own heat-seeking missiles - on the occasion his target evades their reach, the missiles are liable to turn back and target his own substantial heat signature!


sample post



Sunstorm was boasting like usual. everyone hated that USUAL. hotlink was missing UNusual sunstorm was leading a search party to find Hotlink. he searched everywhere on cybertron but he was nowhere to be found! the search party left except sunstorm and sunstorm wandered and wondered but he still couldn't find him and then he heard a noise SHEEAUGGGH!!!.... it sounded like it came from kaon which was nearby sunstorm dashed to kaon to find a beaten up busted up hotlink. sunstorm flew down and said to hotlink "Don't worry! I will cure you! 'cause I.. AM... A... LIVING.... GOOOOOOOD!" hotlink responded " heh i really don't think that is possible" then a cannon blast came out of nowhere aimed at hotlink but sunstorm jumped to block the blast and got damaged alot , the damaged sunstorm then said "i may be a idiotic bragger... but i will always save a friend." sunstorm then carried hotlink to the base and put him in a CR chamber and put himself in another. while sunstorm was healing he was blabbing on and on and on about his supernaturalness but sunstorm trailed of he realalized that i is not the time to brag that time will be when he is finished healing starscream visited sunstorm and hotlink and said "well... what happened?" then sunstorm and hotlink explaned the story to starscream , then sunstorm and hotlink were fully healed and sunstorm started bragging again , then skywarp put his hand on him ,teleported and pushed him down a set of stairs then sunstorm said "ughhh... back to normal...BECAUSE OF ME! uh-hu ya ya im the best yee-haw!" skywarp then blasted him like nothing ever happened. sunstorm was boasting. usual, hotlink was inventing. usual bitstream was missing UNusual. sunstorm didn't notice and he found himself in the same room as megatron sunstorm was radiating and melting the base megatron sent him to the VVH to get tortured for radiating it was painful sunstorm melted the device and then sunstorm transformed and flew to a autobot hidaway then he used his heat seeking missiles for the first time! and for the first time he killed autobots sunstorm then flew away and said "my pals have to hear this story cause 'im the best"



Did I do better? pleeese!

Sunstorm is not a character we would allow in the RPG at this time, nor would we approve him for a new player.

sumowrestler wrote:Seawing

Allegiance: Decepticons
Function: Undersea Reconnaissance
Alt. Mode: Amphibious Winged Beast
Weapons: 2 venom lasers.
Height: 26 ft / 7.93 m
Quote: “The darkest depths reveal the darkest secrets."

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 8
Dexterity: 8 in water, 6 as robot, 1 in manta mode on land
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 8
Melee: 7
Tech. Skill: 9
Charisma: 8
Rank: 6

Profile: Seawing is the eeriest, most ominous Seacon-and he knows it. He glides through the ocean depths like a sinister steel specter, spreading fear among all who see him. This pleases him greatly. "Who better to rule than he to whom all bow," he reasons immodestly. Some Decepticons speculate that Seawing's ambitions go beyond the Seacons and reach to Decepticon Command itself. Not denying this, Seawing does much more to achieve his goals than merely frighten some tin-scaled robo-fish. He is an expert at his job, and he enjoys every moment of it. Once he zeroes in on a target, he uses his wits to surprise and then his armaments to destroy. And underwater, nothing escapes his notice or his grasp.

Abilities: In creature mode, Seawing employs a battery of sensors --electrical, chemical, infrared-- and long-range sonar in his reconnaissance missions. His sensitivity is such that he can locate a screw head on the ocean bottom up to 20,000 feet below him. He can detect and home in on anything living or moving in the water within a 20-mile radius. His maximum speed is 110 mph. In beast and robot modes, he is equipped with two venom lasers which shoot beams that paralyze on contact. In weapons station mode, he combines with the lasers to become a powerful dual proton blaster.

Weaknesses: In creature mode, Seawing's optical modules are adjusted to pick up the very dim light that reaches the ocean depths. As a result, he is very sensitive to bright light, and is easily blinded by sudden flashes underwater.

Sample Post: If Needed

Seawing approved. He's down in the Garrus mines with the rest of the team.

All right Smokey, attempt number 2

I am leaving her training vague as I'm not keen on introducing real substance of a character into her background, as far non characters are concerned, I hope that's okay. Stats have fixed and martial arts have been reassisgned, and she's itching to stick blades in others :p


Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Mercenary/Reconnaissance
Alt. mode: Cybertronian Sports Car
Weapons: Nunchaku, Pair of Sai Daggers, Wrist Mounted Grappling Hook, Energized Shuriken (Numerous), Pair of Katanas, Machine Gun (pair in alt mode only), Null Ray Rifle w/Scope
Height: 24 ft /7.31m
Quote: “There are no secrets that can not be found."

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 6
Dexterity: 9
Speed: 6
Endurance: 4
Courage: 8
Firepower: 6
Accuracy: 7
Melee: 8
Tech Skill: 5
Charisma: 6
Rank:

Profile: Nightbird came about as a result of an attempt of a former senator's desire to have his own spy. Before the war, he employed a young scout just beginning training, shaping her skills to become a silent spy to collect information on his fellow senators. She was able to do this to his satisfaction, espionage coming easily to her.

Realizing early on that she would get no where in her field without mental discipline, she used her free time to learn to calm and focus her thoughts and energies to further develop her patience and control. This improved her espionage skills immensely, being able to keep more focus on her target.

Her espionage skills were even more valuable once the Decepticons began to rise up. Nightbird was sent out by the senator to spy on virtually any of the cons he was wary of. During one mission, she was detected by her target, who was well versed in martial arts. After narrowly escaping him, she realized that her skill in hand to hand combat would need vast improvement.

She stayed in the senator's employment until the fall of the Senate. However, she had not joined a side, not yet choosing became an Autobot or Decepticon. She wasn't concerned about faction in the least, her loyalty lay in who ever was currently paying her.

Improving her melee skills would have to wait when she went on the hunt for employment with whomever needed her skills, bouncing between sides for a very short time, changing her name so not to draw connections between employers. However, this did not last long. Without credentials it became difficult to find work, even as a mercenary. Employers were suspicious of someone who would not declare a faction.

She ended up joining the Decepticons, despite her long history of employment with the Senator, her own personal beliefs could could not align with the early Autobot ideals. As the war has raged on, she has found more and more Autobots would have never suited her, she finds them dishonorable and hypocritical. However, she still remains a mercenary to an extent, and still not entirely trusted.

In the time between jobs, she used to her advantage to study techniques of various Cybertronian martial art styles, but it was all ‘book knowledge’ as finding a Metallikato master is near impossible. She did find, through chance, a student of Metallikato who was willing to teach her what he knew. Nightbird possessed a purely natural talent for the control and focus required to effectively learn the martial art, and possesses the ability to learn very quickly making her an excellent student, however, she was not able to finish her training.

She has a very strong, calm, intuitive personality. Not particularly chatty, but very commanding. It has helped her navigate through the Decepticon army while remaining somewhat of a mercenary. She 'reads' others well, very observant she easily picks up on emotions of others. She is often given more leeway to choose her assignments presented to her.

Most recently she fell under the command of Bomb Burst’s unit of elite assassins and scouts due to her extensive skills in both area. Appointed his second in command (not by Bomb Burst’s choice), she has, begrudgingly, won something that slightly resembles respect from the Vampire for her skills and vice versa. As result, he has helped her improve her skill in striking with the element of surprise.

Abilities: Through her studies of martial arts, Nightbird is a vast repository of deadly skills, but is still unlocking those skills. Her skills includes Metallikato and Circuit-Su. Her primary focus is on recon and intell skills, where her natural abilities of obfuscation are most valuable.

Her color scheme is black and dark gray with some purple highlights particularly in her battle mask that she wears covering her face near constantly, her smaller size allows her to hide in tighter spaces allowing her to eavesdrop and watch from cover. Through ages of training she has been able to overcome the desire to shift position, move, or fidget even if she spends long time spans in one uncomfortable position.

Her focus, patience, near silent movement, and excellent obfuscation skills has made her excellent at reconnaissance missions, espionage, and scouting. This has put her in situations that her martial arts skill has been put to the test. She specifically tries to avoid being hit and disabling an attacker quickly. She has developed keen observation skills, her intuitive personality helping quickly picking up nuanced details from her targets.

Lightly armored she moves near silently in robot mode and her Cybertronian Car alt mode is also light, fairly fast, and maneuverable. Her hand to hand combat abilities are impressive, she prefers to strike first and strike offensively, her defense is avoidance, she easily dodges and maneuvers, as well as quite capable of escaping combat situations as she is in sneaking into places.

Weaknesses: Lightly armored has great disadvantages, of course, she is particularly vulnerable if hit. Thus it makes her a bit more reluctant to engage in melee, despite being very competent in hand to hand combat due to her training.[/quote]

Ricochet

Allegiance:Autobot
Sub-group:
Function:Gunner
Alternate Modes:Porsche 997 Turbo
Weapons: Shoulder mounted automatic shell cannon, precision plasma dart rifle
Special Abilities:
Height: 28ft/ 8.9m
Quote: “Either help me destroy my enemies or get out of my way."


Strength:7
Intelligence:7
Dexterity:7
Speed:8
Endurance:8
Courage:8
Firepower:7
Accuracy: 10
Melee:4
Tech Skill:8
Charisma:4
Rank:

Profile: Ricochet has a temper unparalleled within the Autobot ranks and wastes no time picking a fight with a fellow ‘Bot should they say or do something that provokes him. He has an unnaturally strong sense of justice and believes that no Cybertronian should go unpunished for their crimes, feeling as though he is the perfect mech to serve as both judge and executioner. Unfortunately for the poor spark in question, the retribution he dishes out is usually so harsh that most Autobots are left feeling sorry for his victims.

Regardless of his anger management issues, Ricochet is an expert marksman who is brutally efficient on the field of battle. It’s the one place where he can unleash his rage and not be chastised for it by his commanding officer. Of course, that only applies as long as said fury is directed towards the Decepticons and not other Autobots. While Ricochet’s personality traits are sorely lacking, his exceptional combat capabilities have earned him the respect of his comrades. As a result, Ricochet has also managed to develop some friendships during his military service, even if they are precarious ones at best.

Abilities:Ricochet is unmatched as a marksman and excels at laying down suppressive fire. As a master of ranged weaponry, he can accurately fire any blaster or rifle that finds itself in his possession. With his precision plasma rifle, he can hit a tin can from a maximum effective distance of six miles. With his shoulder mounted automatic shell cannon, he can provide unrelenting support fire at a rate of 30 shells per second.

Because most Autobots won't risk conversation with the aggressive gunner, few realize that beyond his gruesome acts of war, Ricochet is a technical master of his field and is capable of using and performing extensive repairs on numerous projectile weapon types, even during the heat of combat. While in vehicle mode, Ricochet can reach an impressive 155 mph if given enough straight road to do so, but his true ability shines through when driving on dirt or gravel.

Weaknesses: Ricochet is rather unapproachable for an Autobot. His extreme sense of justice and lone wolf-style attitude may serve him well as a marksman, but when it comes to camaraderie amongst his fellow Autobots, he is seldom considered. It is only by his incredible skill in range combat that he gains any respect from his peers as the majority of ‘Bots feel that they can only truly depend on Ricochet while fighting alongside him on the battlefield.

In addition, due to his intense specialization in ranged warfare, Ricochet is all but inept in melee combat. He is physically strong, but without his projectile weaponry he often has no other choice but to withdraw when faced with a physical confrontation.

SAMPLE POST



"This is so simple!" Ricochet said "All I need to do is to blast some decepticreeps to non-existence!" "I don't think it will be that easy." said Artfire "We have to battle other marksmen! Then Ricochet said " So what! its still easy, they are weak!" "Riiiiiight... Well not for long!"said quake and spinster. then the jumpstarters and the autobot cars came to help "HEY! YOU ARE STOPPING ME FROM KILLING DECEPTICRAPS! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" "I think we should go now." said Twintwist "I agree" responded hoist. Then the evil Megatron came to fight, Ricochet rushed head on and shot Megatron. Megatron then shot back and damaged Ricochet badly. Now ratchet, a 1994 autobot car, was at the scene and brought him to the medibay for repair. "Ricochet. Your anger and rage is hampering your common sense (you might want to be a wrecker)." said Ratchet "IS THAT AN INSULT!!! OHH YOU RATCHET!! YOU ARE THEN ONE WITH NO COMMON SENSE EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAGH!" responded Ricochet "Oh Ricochet. You are such a hassle" said ratchet

Nicorange wrote:Ricochet

Allegiance:Autobot
Sub-group:
Function:Gunner
Alternate Modes:Porsche 997 Turbo
Weapons: Shoulder mounted automatic shell cannon, precision plasma dart rifle
Special Abilities:
Height: 28ft/ 8.9m
Quote: “Either help me destroy my enemies or get out of my way."


Strength:7
Intelligence:7
Dexterity:7
Speed:8
Endurance:8
Courage:8
Firepower:7
Accuracy: 10
Melee:4
Tech Skill:8
Charisma:4
Rank:

Profile: Ricochet has a temper unparalleled within the Autobot ranks and wastes no time picking a fight with a fellow ‘Bot should they say or do something that provokes him. He has an unnaturally strong sense of justice and believes that no Cybertronian should go unpunished for their crimes, feeling as though he is the perfect mech to serve as both judge and executioner. Unfortunately for the poor spark in question, the retribution he dishes out is usually so harsh that most Autobots are left feeling sorry for his victims.

Regardless of his anger management issues, Ricochet is an expert marksman who is brutally efficient on the field of battle. It’s the one place where he can unleash his rage and not be chastised for it by his commanding officer. Of course, that only applies as long as said fury is directed towards the Decepticons and not other Autobots. While Ricochet’s personality traits are sorely lacking, his exceptional combat capabilities have earned him the respect of his comrades. As a result, Ricochet has also managed to develop some friendships during his military service, even if they are precarious ones at best.

Abilities:Ricochet is unmatched as a marksman and excels at laying down suppressive fire. As a master of ranged weaponry, he can accurately fire any blaster or rifle that finds itself in his possession. With his precision plasma rifle, he can hit a tin can from a maximum effective distance of six miles. With his shoulder mounted automatic shell cannon, he can provide unrelenting support fire at a rate of 30 shells per second.

Because most Autobots won't risk conversation with the aggressive gunner, few realize that beyond his gruesome acts of war, Ricochet is a technical master of his field and is capable of using and performing extensive repairs on numerous projectile weapon types, even during the heat of combat. While in vehicle mode, Ricochet can reach an impressive 155 mph if given enough straight road to do so, but his true ability shines through when driving on dirt or gravel.

Weaknesses: Ricochet is rather unapproachable for an Autobot. His extreme sense of justice and lone wolf-style attitude may serve him well as a marksman, but when it comes to camaraderie amongst his fellow Autobots, he is seldom considered. It is only by his incredible skill in range combat that he gains any respect from his peers as the majority of ‘Bots feel that they can only truly depend on Ricochet while fighting alongside him on the battlefield.

In addition, due to his intense specialization in ranged warfare, Ricochet is all but inept in melee combat. He is physically strong, but without his projectile weaponry he often has no other choice but to withdraw when faced with a physical confrontation.

SAMPLE POST



"This is so simple!" Ricochet said "All I need to do is to blast some decepticreeps to non-existence!" "I don't think it will be that easy." said Artfire "We have to battle other marksmen! Then Ricochet said " So what! its still easy, they are weak!" "Riiiiiight... Well not for long!"said quake and spinster. then the jumpstarters and the autobot cars came to help "HEY! YOU ARE STOPPING ME FROM KILLING DECEPTICRAPS! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" "I think we should go now." said Twintwist "I agree" responded hoist. Then the evil Megatron came to fight, Ricochet rushed head on and shot Megatron. Megatron then shot back and damaged Ricochet badly. Now ratchet, a 1994 autobot car, was at the scene and brought him to the medibay for repair. "Ricochet. Your anger and rage is hampering your common sense (you might want to be a wrecker)." said Ratchet "IS THAT AN INSULT!!! OHH YOU RATCHET!! YOU ARE THEN ONE WITH NO COMMON SENSE EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAGH!" responded Ricochet "Oh Ricochet. You are such a hassle" said ratchet

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to deny this application. The profile is fine since it's one of the already approved ones on this site, but your sample post is just not up to our standards of writing. Improper grammar, punctuation and capitalization is still an issue here. Furthermore, your paragraph structure is rambling and all over the place, jumping erratically from one thing or character to another. It's very hard to read or ascertain what's going on. My advice would be to read through some of the posts here in the RPG and see how others write and how their sentences and paragraphs are structured. Also, I would run any future sample posts through a grammar check program to help you out.

In addition, you really need to read the rules and guidelines and the history/notes sections of the game (like I listed before) to fully understand what's going on. You mention Ratchet as a 1994 Autobot (even though he was a 1984 bot) but neither of those years matter because this RPG is primarily based on the IDW comics, taking place in the present day.

Once you have done all of the things that I've mentioned above, give it another try and we'll see if you're ready.