by hellkitty » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:41 pm
So many mixed feelings from me. I'm going to copypasta parts of my reaction post.
I admit I was frothing at the mouth reading the preview. And everything I said then is true. Starting with 'For being dead, Optimus sure is doing a lot of walking around!'
He's not dead of course. He's in Teh Fyooture! Like...three weeks after the last time we saw Optimus. Apparently combining the Matrix with the Well of Sparks is like racing that Delorean up to 88 miles an hour, only...weaker. I mean, man if I had that happen to me right now I'd miss out on winter break but that's about it. Not really the level of apocalyptic distress I'd imagine.
Okay I partly jest. In addition to booting Optimus literally just about into next week, it created a pulse that did two maguffiny things. One it kickstarted the whole making life thing (aw damn, looks like mechpreg's not IDW canon. I weep tears.) and these are Non Aligned Indigenous Lifeforms, or, as Sideswipe and his new BFF call them 'nails'. Cute, huh? Sentient mechs who come from the planet you come from, but they're DIFFERENT and therefore you should BEAT THEM. Um. racism, yeah?
Additionally the pulse sent out a signal ~*across the universe*~ (echo voice effect) so all these apparently BAJILLIONS of Cybertronians--former Autobots, former Decepticons, mechs who flipped the war the bird and took off because they had some crazazy objection for dying for a cause they want no part of--are returning home.
Let's....yeah, let's leave out the three weeks and FTL calculations which would tell us that maybe these Cybertronians were hiding astronomically speaking in Cybertron's back yard. They're all coming back. Okay? Because they are more than just refugees, my people. They are PLOT DEVICES.
Metalhawk, who has the honor of being the first newcomer Optimus personally is a dick to, basically tells them all off. Metalhawk, not gonna lie, kind of rocks.
But what about all those Decepticons?
Oh, hello there plothole! Apparently Megatron managed to defeat the 'decepti-god' (still kind of choke on that one) and they all fell apart, Megatron SOMEHOW god knows where. But the others came to their senses.
The Autobots, who are, you will remember, supposed to be the good guys (and I needed to remind myself of this AT FULL VOLUME in my car while reading this) decide that NATCH, the only solution to this is to round up the 'cons and keep them imprisoned in...the big-ass gun from Kimia. Yep. They're IN THE BARREL OF A WEAPON. (I-isn't there some Linkin Park song about that? 'broken people living in a loaded gun'?) Because, yeah, that's perfectly reasonable and civil.
So, all these non Autobots, non Decepticons who frankly don't give a petrorabbit's booty about the war but want their planet back because the Autobots have clearly proved they're incapable of handling the responsibility. This is probably a ginormous metaphor about GWOT.
ANYWAY, so the Matrix is empty. Kaput. Fizzled out. But no worries, because here's Perceptor and he is DELICIOUS. Like someone finally remembered Perceptor. And we discover that the Matrix is also a MAP.
Now.
You might want to strap yourself in for some serious retconning.
You ready?
YOU ARE NOT READY
Right. See. Apparently unbeknownst to...lol ANY OF US, Drift apparently had many many talks with Dai Atlas. (I hope they didn't all end in jawshots). AND Dai Atlas was apparently obsessed (YOU ALL REMEMBER THIS RIGHT?) with finding the map to Cyberutopia. (Oh god kill me now, another STUPID name to look forward to).
But.
Yes!
Dai Atlas's name really isn't Dai Atlas. NOPE. It's really Dei Atlas. "GOD MAP".
Seriously folks. I was sitting in my car and headdesked, minus the desk. The horn scared some poor shopper. Yes this made me honk my car horn WITH MY HEAD. Because yes, apparently Old Cybertronian isn't flaky anglicized Japanese, OH NO, it is Latin. In the genitive case, even!
But of course, Drift speaks up saying this stuff. It's Drift, which means the general reaction is "STFU DRIFT" They all tell him he's a moron for believing in the Knights of Cybertron. Despite you know, ALL THAT PROOF AND STUFF IN CRYSTAL CITY. Despite, you know, what that senator told Optimus in Chaos Theory. Nope. ANYTHING Drift says perforce is wrong.
But that's really a bigotry pratfall compared to the rest of the issue where they continue to hate People Wut R Different Frum Us. Yeah, uh, how are you going to build a perfect new society when you insist on being dicks to anyone not an Autobot (and Drift)?
So, riots ensue (see what I mean? This is a metaphor for OWS, too!) and shit goes down and Bumblebee makes the BRILLIANT command decision that you know what? We're outnumbered as **** out there. You know what the logical thing to do right now would be?
If you said surrender, you're wrong.
If you said entertain their demands, you're also wrong and clearly haven't been paying attention to what a (I should probably not say this word on a nice site like this so...BLEEEEP) Bumblebee is. (Seriously, who put him in charge?!?!)
If you said: release the hounds Decepticons to go wreak 31 flavors of havoc on the newcomers who, remember, came here wanting to rebuild, congratulations. You are correct.
If you still maintain the Autobots have ANY moral superiority over even these Nails, much less the refugees, I suggest you have been living in North Korea for a bit too long.
RIGHT.
Rodimus is the only one not a jerk. He sides with Drift. Prowl and Bumblebee are dicks (it's like they're having some bizarre competition here)
Okay, so, riots, exacerbated by Bumblebee's AWESOME leadership. And Optimus...bails.
Seriously. In what is possibly the WORST command decision of his career (I do not know for sure because there are so many!!) once again, Optimus decides life is too hard and he's going to turn his back on the Autobots again. Didn't he do this on Earth? Didn't that...not work out so hot? Yeah, why do people follow this guy again?
Before he leaves, he gives one half of the Matrix to Bumblebee (who will probably draw eyes on it and start talking to it) and the other to Rodimus. If you feared Rodimus would become Prime, relax. THERE IS NO MATRIX ONLY ZUUL, i mean therefore, no Prime. So he buggers off shortly afterwards, making a big speech about how freedom is for all sentient beings, INCLUDING HIMSELF and he's gonna grab him a doublefist of freedom. And Optimus Prime is dead...but Orion Pax is reborn.
Okay I did flip a small table there. Force of habit.
SO all in all. They're clearly setting up a complete clusterbomb situation for the new upcoming series. Bumblebee should win a prize at speed for how fast he FUBAR'd peace on Cybertron. And Rodimus and Drift and apparently Ultra Magnus are off to have ADVENTURES!!!1!!! together. Not sure where the rest are (I selfishly want Perceptor to go help hunt for the Knights of Cybertron Drift/Percy shipper that I am!) and lol NO idea about Megatron.
I'm going to probably regret saying this (and feel free to mock me when I do!) but I gotta say I didn't hate this as much as I'd expected to. More than that, they've really set some interesting stuff up to happen next. I had wondered how the hell 'the war's over' was going to lead to a good comic series. Wonder no more! Optimus and Megatron are likely to return at some point, and I hope we actually get to see more of the cons. It was great to hear Ratbat, gotta say. So, I may sound like a mental patient, but I'm not giving up on the franchise yet. There really is some potential and as long as they keep people like Costa way the hell away from it, it really has some promise. I hope.
Not all fangirls are evil. Just most of us.