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Transformers: Peaceful Chaos Chapter one

PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:00 pm
by BeastProwl
This is the first Chapter of my continuation from the movie DOTM. Say what you will, But please, Tell me what you think. It's just the first chapter, so not much is going on, but I assure you, the plot is well thought out. Please read, and Any suggestions to tweak the storyline are welcome!

CHAPTER ONE

We open on a dark room, very round, full of medical equipment and severed parts from Autobots and Decepticons alike. Ratchet only ever amputated if need be, and kept what parts were salvageable mounted on the wall and in drawers. There is a giant metal table in the center of the room, where Optimus Prime Sits impatiently while his friend tinkers away at his broken shoulder and the inside areas around the open wound where his arm had once been. A replacement was being built by his old comrade Commetor and upgraded under Leadfoot's Supervision. It was painful, but he'd dealt with worse. He had actually died once. He would not make that mistake again.

"Stay Still Optimus! You’re uneasy enough as it is! Do you want this to hurt anymore than it already does?" Ratchet said as he looked onto his wounded leader and oldest friend, who, over the years, he had repaired countless times. But this time, it was a bit more severe, for in his last battle, he had lost an entire limb.

"There is no need to worry, old friend, I feel no pain, Not physically anyway." Optimus' words of what once would have been considered wise and comforting, now sounded shallow, and regretful.

"Well, I can repair our losses, but I can't repair YOU if you don't lie down!" Ratchet pushed Optimus down onto the CR Table slowly, and brought down the spark harness, a device that eases the spark, and keeps the body still for careful operations, or in this case, careful AND painful.

A couple hundred miles away, a certain Yellow Scout was relieved from duty to accompany a newly wed couple on their way up the alter. There were hundreds of people there, both Sam and Carly's Family, who made things awkward enough, soldiers from several different branches of government and country, Epps and Lennox to name a few. Since the Transformers are no longer a secret, Bumblebee sat on the lawn, almost childishly, and viewed the crowd with a new curiosity. He had come here so long ago, And to see humans almost always intrigued him, their strengths, their weakness, their intelligence, and their emotion, all so similar to that of him and the rest of the Cybertronians. He could see it in them now, greater than ever before. Now that they knew he was watching them and they watched back, He felt a new connection.
He had to taxi Sam and Carly to the Ceremony now. They were to be Congratulated, the three of them, by the president himself. Bumblebee was most anxious to get going, and almost blew a gasket when Sam and Carly walked up. "You ready to go 'Bee?"
Bumblebee found the best quote he could:

"SON! I WAS BORN READY!"

"Then what are we waiting for? Lets go!" Carly was very cheerful, Quick to recover, considering all that's happened.

Further still across the globe, sat two humans. They were under protection of N.E.S.T. Coupled with Five Autobots, Arcee, Elita-1, Jolt, Skids, And Mudflap, and a guardian soldier. They were safe.

"You know mama, you should have stayed with Sam. He's a Hero!" Leo Announced from the other side of the room. He was on his computer, answering mail of all kinds. After The incident in Egypt, his website constantly blew up with streams and streams of messages from people from around the world. The latest pictures he uploaded were of himself, Sam, and Mikaela, all standing together at a ceremony were they were honored as national heroes, stirred up the site even more.

"I had my reasons for leaving him, you know that" Mikaela said, seemingly after no thought on the subject. She, Leo, and The twins all watched the T.V Screen, as, once again, Sam Witwicky was being honored as a national hero.

"Hey, who's that Blonde mamacita!?" Leo said, Obviously more interested in the T.V now.

"That, would be Carly, my nephew's new hitch!"

The big, brown-haired soldier walked into the room, rather more cheerful than his usual self.

"Well Spark, he's a lucky man!" Leo said, less enthusiastic on the topic now.

"WOO! Come on! Why can’t we go see too!? Bumblebee is there, Why not us?" Skids almost yelled.

"As much as I like the idea big guy, we gotta stay here … at least until further orders come our way," said Sparkplug.

What harm would it do if just WE went ‘den!? Mudflap interjected.

"Look, if it will shut you two up for more than three minutes of my day, be my guest, just keep it covert! No weaving in and out of traffic.“ He paused and gave them a look

"Uh-huh" Skids said. "No Transforming in public."

"Yup" Mudflap agreed.

"And absolutely NO FIGHTING!"

"Absolutely boss-man! We wont let ya down!" Mudflap said.

"Aight! Les’ roll! You da best Sparky!" Skids said
"Are you sure THAT was the best choice on your part?" Arcee said, after witnessing the whole thing unfold.

"Well, you could always go with…" Sparkplug said.

"My Hologram Projector is still under repairs from the battle in the dessert, I'll need a rider" she argued.

"I'll do it! Want to see my main man Sam!" Leo said

"Nope, you two are here under protection of the government. I'll go I guess, see my nephew again, you two will be plenty safe with Jolt and Elita-1 Guarding the place."

"Alright, those two are probably already in trouble, Lets head out" Arcee said.

"Behave you two, It's a glorious time for mankind, don't spoil the day, or however that sounds best phrased in your heads." Sparkplug said. "Adios', I'll keep in touch! Keep the com-links on!"

"Yeah, whatever", Michaela muttered.

"Can do!" Leo said.


End of chapter one

If you liked it, I'll continue it. More in chapter two on optimus and bee, but also, a slight look-see into the Decepticon's side, and Carly gets a new autobot Guardian, And a new threat may yet loom on the horizon, a threat that not even optimus could see coming.... I await your words of critisizm.......

Re: Transformers: Peaceful Chaos, Chapter 1: Intro

PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:48 am
by GetRightRobot
Reads like official storyline. Lots of setup. You should try to hook up with some of the artist in these forums. A few well illustrated moments would certainly draw in a crowd. Remember, movieverse fans possibly more than any other Transformers fan subgroup, are a very visual lot. Spoiled. CG awesomeness... Good chapter, keep it up. It will catch on. :APPLAUSE:

Re: Transformers: Peaceful Chaos Chapter one

PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:14 am
by ArmadaPrime
awesomeness!
is the threat unicron, by any chance?
also, your spelling and grammar could use a hand.
just run it through a spellcheck on Word...
other than that, great!
don't suppose you could link to the next chapter?

Re: Transformers: Peaceful Chaos Chapter one

PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:11 am
by BeastProwl
ArmadaPrime wrote:awesomeness!
is the threat unicron, by any chance?
also, your spelling and grammar could use a hand.
just run it through a spellcheck on Word...
other than that, great!
don't suppose you could link to the next chapter?


I did run it through spell check, it's just....outdated..... Next chapter is here : http://www.seibertron.com/energonpub/transformers-peaceful-chaos-chapter-two-t80135.php
So far, only 2 exist, the chapters I mean, and as to who the real threat is? Well, you WON'T See it coming.