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Warning: Retail application process rant!

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Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Pontimax 01 » Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:36 am

Anyone that has applied to any retail store (walmart, target, lowes, meijer, kroger, blockbuster as examples) lately knows exactly what I'll be talking about.

What the holy (*&^ do they need to put all those assessment questions on the application for? It drives me absolutely friggin insane! First off, the people who generally apply for these retail jobs are high school kids, younger people, or people that don't have the job skills to be hired for more reasonable positions elsewhere. So why the hell do they take it upon themselves to abuse you DURING the application process? And they've all done the same thing to a moderate degree.

It goes a little like this: You go to that company's website, you start the application. You fill in all your details, past job experiences, education information, whatever. And just when you think your done and hit the button, it tells you that to be considered, you must now take what they either call an Assessment or Survey. Please answer all the questions honestly, we only want to get to know you! You cannot fail. Blah BLah BLA BLAH!

So you get to sit there for an estimated time of *25 minutes* to fill out something that is completely asinine and worthless in the first place. Not that anyone or everyone isn't going to sit there and LIE their ass off. "How much do you steal from work?" Less then 10 dollars, more then 100 dollars, more then 500.... WHO THE *&^% puts more then 500????? HONESTLY! Or "Do you use illegal drugs at work?" What crackhead goes to the site, fills out all that information and then blows himself up by saying YES!?

And by the time you've done one application for that one company, you no longer feel like going to other sites and repeating the process over. It's a motivational killer I swear. And if you do fill out more, you quickly realize you've burned up 2 hours on these that you could have spent better by doing virtually anything else.

And now the tests are getting longer. I'm on page 3 of a 12 page assessment for a $8/hr job, and I've already answered 60 questions by page 3! WTF, by page 12, this test could be well over 200 questions! WTF WTF WTF.

And just for fun, here's the questions from page 3 alone. You answer in that absolutely ignorant "Agree/Neutral/Disagree" mode.

41. I feel disappointed when my achievements at work go unnoticed.
42. I take great pride in the honors I receive.
43. I always know when I am in a good mood or bad mood.
44. I strive to keep my emotions from affecting my judgement.
45. Sometimes critisism of my work will hurt my feelings.
46. My outlook on life would be described as upbeat.
47. When I look at the world around me, I have litte hope for mankind.
48. People are generally good.
49. Coworkers describe me as supportive.
50. To motivate people to improve their performance, it is important to tell them what they did wrong instead of what they did right.
51. I tend to be highly critical of others' work.
52. In solving business problems, it is important to consider what works in the real world.
53. Facts are what help you solve problems.
54. Solutions to business problems need to be practical.
55. Coworkers describe me as a deep thinker.
56. I try to spend my time thinking about how my decisions will affect others in the future.
57. Mistakes are learning experiences.
58. I am willing to take risk.
59. Coworkers describe me as being very cautious.
60. It is important to take chances in life.


Yeah, that's one friggin page, out of 12! Whoever made this, I hate you with a burning passion. :evil:
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Counterpunch » Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:59 am

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Like a personality test before entering into Scientology... lol
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby cybercat » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:29 pm

Wow! It's like getting a Cosmo Quiz with every application! Oh, the temptation to jink the test would overcome me, unfortunately.

You'd be surprised who says what on those tests, btw. The distractors are there to minimize many of the other choices. So, for example, the one you gave about stealing money--sure, (hopefully) no one's going to say 'more than $500', but the fact that almost all of the choices say yes, someone looking at the test would say, geez, I only stole less than $100, that's not really so bad looking at these choices'.

You should see the personality tests the Army gives. Apparently it's okay to hate your mother, as long as you are consistent about it. And that you're very precise about what the voices in your head tell you to do.

HK, I've said too much! :P
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Pontimax 01 » Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:55 pm

hellkitty wrote:Wow! It's like getting a Cosmo Quiz with every application! Oh, the temptation to jink the test would overcome me, unfortunately.

You'd be surprised who says what on those tests, btw. The distractors are there to minimize many of the other choices. So, for example, the one you gave about stealing money--sure, (hopefully) no one's going to say 'more than $500', but the fact that almost all of the choices say yes, someone looking at the test would say, geez, I only stole less than $100, that's not really so bad looking at these choices'.

You should see the personality tests the Army gives. Apparently it's okay to hate your mother, as long as you are consistent about it. And that you're very precise about what the voices in your head tell you to do.

HK, I've said too much! :P



Sounds like I missed my calling then. I do consistently hate my mother (no joke) and voices usually make a lot of sense (maybe joking, dunno).
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Name_Violation » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:05 pm

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applying online ruined job applications.

i tried to apply for blockbuster, after 45 minutes i got "you're half way there" i was ready to shatter my monitor.

really i'm not comfortable answering so many personal questions. or such stupid questions. I'm convinced its all marketing.
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Gutter Bunny » Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:12 am

Name_Violation wrote:applying online ruined job applications.

i tried to apply for blockbuster, after 45 minutes i got "you're half way there" i was ready to shatter my monitor.

really i'm not comfortable answering so many personal questions. or such stupid questions. I'm convinced its all marketing.


you don't want to work at blockbuster anyway. Sure you think it would be fun to be able to watch movies all day while you work...but most the time you have to watch pg movies. After a certain time you MAY be able to watch pg-13 but thats up to management. Fridays and Saturdays you have to watch the preview tapes. Starting pay is minimum wage. Don't get me started on the customers(no, there is not a super secret stash of movies in the back that i personally don't want YOU to have).

Yeah BB was my first job...miss the people I worked with, we made it fun. The job itself sucked.


Ironically, I found it interesting that I was subjected to a personality/psych test before working at O'reilys but not before controlling life support. I guess they figure education weeds out the crazies...
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Evil_the_Nub » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:41 am

Motto: "Feel free to die when you've had enough."
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I totally agree with you, those things are absurd. It's bad enough that 90% of the applications you fill out are a waste of time anyway. Now they're making you waste over an hour of your time. I saw one that said it would take about 2 hours to finish.
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Re: Warning: Retail application process rant!

Postby Cheetron » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:33 am

Sad thing is Blockbuster uses a test similar to those ones but it takes about an hour to finish. At least it did. I've applied at Walmart, Target and Blockbuster and only two of them had told me I'm not to apply there ever again. lol I guess I clicked the wrong answer somewhere. lol
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