I knew you'd have a fun story to tell.
Yeah, I think the Magna is a pile of crap no matter what shape it is or what version it is. It's never been a remotely attractive vehicle.
Ah, a Holden Commodore eh? I'm already very familiar with it. Well, it was ugly until the VX started to change things. The VL was looong before GM decided to make it cool. Still, it's probably one of the better cars out of the first three you listed.
And the Laser...which lived in America as the very similar Escort. Nowhere near being legendary, but not really the worst car either.
I'm very biased about Toyotas. I think the Camry is one of the ugliest cars on the road, and always has been. But hey, it's a huge improvement from the others on your list.
I'm still waiting for GM to export the VE Commodore again to the US, but they can't decide if they're going to do it or not. It lasted 2 years as the Pontiac G8, which is arguably one of the best cars they've sold here in years. Ideally, that would be my first car, but $22,000.00 minimum is a little steep for a used car.