Reporting from Hell's Front Line. Thank you for joining us for our special Christmas Issue. Merry Christmas! This week we had the opportunity to sit down with Cybertron's Prodigal Son, Jesus Prime, of the Archaicons.
Kamjiin: Thank you for joining us today, Jesus Prime.
Jeep!: Us? You're welcome, all of you. Whoever you are.
Kamjiin: Tell us a little about the Archaicons.
Jeep!: Well, there's a good bit to tell. I guess I should point out for those that don't know, the Archaicons are my HMW team, a religious sect who worship Unicron as a god of destruction. Their faith leads them towards their end goal, completely annhilating the universe until all is ultimately nonexistant and void.
They're a jolly bunch.
They've evolved a good bit since I started, though. they were always religious, as I thought that was something in the G1 universe that was hinted at and never explored (why else would such elaborate graves and ceremonies be involved without some sort of faith?) so I initially created a sort of shinto-style ancestor worship.
Then it hit me in the face that there was a force in canon which would be perfectly suited to the role of god - and one which would most likely already inspire worship across the universe anyways.
Unicron.
Kamjiin: What...wait...hold on...Mister Jinx! What are you chewing on? Is that a button? Yeech...**hurls aside**
What is it like serving Unicron? Galvatron always seemed to indicate the price was too high. Is that true in your case?
Jeep!: I take the view that Galvatron's problem was his lack of actual service. Jesus Prime, who I see as Unicron's "prophet", gives his body and soul (spark, I guess) to Unicron, following his wishes to the letter and even holding religious ceremonies in his honour. In return, he's been granted incredible luck, and I've been hinting at him having a modicum of the powers Unicron showed in the film such as telepathy and telekinesis.
So unlike Galvatron, who was always very much out for Galvatron, Jesus Prime is constantly a servant. It's a big price to pay, especially when you're devoting a life that's millions of years long.
Kamjiin: Tell us about the early days of the RDD. What kind of struggles did you face building from scratch what would one day become the most prolific clan on Cybertron?
Jeep!: Well, to be honest with you, the level we're at now still amazes me. When it first started, it was just three Europeans who joined at the same time and figured we could help each other in missions to get a leg-up in the game. then we got more people involved, and figured we should maybe name ourselves and turn it into a clan.
The first real RDD venture was the original thread in HMW GD, which grew by about 5-10 pages a day, at least. I think we went through about three of them before the clamp-down came and we were told there was only to be two factions in the game.
I remember being ticked off about that, not cause it meant anything to us (we got there first, not just among the cons but in the whole game), but because I'd seen the MIC doing something really groundbreaking at that point, promoting cross-faction friendships.
But from then on, things definately got tougher. We've been almost wiped out a few times, but I think this time round the staff, especially OS, have been a lot more co-operative than we've experienced in the past. I want to say it's entirely because they've seen the worth we have as a training means for new players and as a fertile breeding ground for game ideas with so many vets in close contact, but I think the truth is that everyone made a few concessions all round. In the end, though, it's been worth it for the most part, though I know there's a few changes I'd personally make. But it's not my place to make them, and I'll live with it.
Kamjiin: GoEgo! Where did you get that string? Give it here. Don't play in here! MamaKitty, come get these monsters!
Sorry. So...Nobody loves the RDD except the RDD. To what do you attribute this phenomenon?
Jeep!: It's simple. anyone who loves the RDD is either a con, or a defecting player on another side. Otherwise, loving the clan idea means they'd love their own faction's clan. So if they love the RDD, they're already, or they're on their way to becoming, a member. It's kind of like saying no one but communists love communism.
Kamjiin: Do you ever feel cheated that a fat old fleshling in a red suit eclipses the true meaning of the holiday?
Jeep!: Not really. I'm going to piss a lot of people off here, but I don't really believe all that much in Jesus. I mean, I'd call myself a Christian of sorts, but only because ethically, I believe in the same values as the guy in the book. But when I read it, I see a guy who believes in socialism, pacifism and human rights. So I'm getting really off topic... but what I mean to say is, I don't care that it's not a religious deal any more. 'Cause to me, it never was.
I plan on spending it with my family, doing all the traditional bits and pieces. We're an irish and italian family, so first thing we're doing on the big day is heading to Mass. Then it's food. and lots of it.
Kamjiin: Preadcat...DON'T GET IN MY LAP WHEN I'M DOING AN INTERVIEW! What the hell...where did Boatsie get a cuff-link?
Forgive me. You have alternately been praised as an excellent player and vilified as a notorious, unrepentant spammer by all factions. To what do you attribute this?
Jeep!: What muppet called me an excellent player?
I think the answer to both is the same, though. I like to enjoy myself. If at any time I find a game to not be fun, I stop. Same with a forum. It's something I do for leisure. Why would I do anything else but enjoy it?
So that tends to make me seem quite spammerly, but it's a documented fact (I swear to **censored**, Steve Irwin taped it once) that I can pull the finger out and be serious when the time comes.
As for the game, I blame my recent good run on the oops. I left a team of lvl 2s a year ago, and came back to find that a lot of people had been brough back down to about where they were when I left, or not too far from it so I knew I could catch up again, which is something I'd thought would never happen. I think that gave me some level of determination to do better.
Kamjiin: Tell us alittle about your side business with Halo, Psycho Warrior, Tweezy and Shadowman.
Jeep!: I'm surprised my name's still on that, actually. I saw them ask for another answer-er once back when I started to venture into the GD board properly, and thought it'd be a sweet icebreaker. It was, but I've since learned that my humour and theirs doesn't gel as much as I'd like, so I gave it up. They're nice guys (and gal) though. I think what got the place originally was some sort of hand/ass/toilet paper joke.
Kamjiin: Do you intend to bring about peace on Earth and goodwill towards men this holiday season?
Jeep!: Oh yes. The only way an irish man knows how - alcohol induced pacifism!
Kamjiin: Anything you'd like to share with our readers?
Jeep!: VOTE SINN FEIN! And, on a more serious note, I hope you all have a happy Christmas and a drunken fumble for New Year's.
Kamjiin: Vote Sinn Feinn?!? How'd I know you'd find a way to sneak some spam into the interview! Thank you, once again for joining us, Jesus Prime.
Jeep!: I'm a crafty one. and thanks for having me. I didn't know where to put my coat so I just threw it at your wife.
Kamjiin: ...
Jeep!: THAT'S MY GOOD PINSTRIPED ONE!
Kamjiin: Was...
MamaKitty: Eepp!!! Predacats Scamper!
**predacats race away in all directions leaving nothing but a maze of threads winding around the room.**
Let's get some perspective on what things look like in the field right now:Anonymous Maximal 32: "I'm trying to get some better gear so I can go on a 30 man raid later this week. See..."
**turns laptop around. holds up. round impacts laptop**
"WTF!?!"
Anonymous Predacon 14: "Nice shot, Ligtningstrike. Looks like a direct hit to the chest."
Anonymous Predacon 15: "OWWW! IN THE NAME OF PRIMUS! MEDIC!!"
Anonymous Predacon 16: "Cool. Ricochet!"
In other news today, the archives are still down. No news is good news. Maybe?!?
Want to do something during the long wait?
Visit your nearest Predacon Army Recruiting Center TODAY!ClassifiedsNotice: Attention all Predacons! The polls are now open. Remember to vote. It is not just your right, but your
Patriotic Duty to go down to the Tri-Predacus Council and make your voice heard.
"Have you ever thought about your future? Have you ever thought about Cybertron's future?
The Predacon Attack Coalition is more than just a finely tuned, precision instrument of military prowess, it's a family.
Join the Predacon Attack Coalition! Be a part of something greater than yourself. You have the power to save Cybertron!
Go Predacon! It's not the right choice, it's the only choice!"
Notice: Attention Maximals and Predacons!!! There is a fanfic in the works that will include YOUR troops. There are only eight slots open for each side. Please contact your respective leaders or post in our respective threads if you are interested. The author, sumowrestler, is considering a Predacon co-author. If this interests you, please PM him.
Bun-Bun wrote:Attention Predacons with gratutious amounts of energon. Donations are needed to finance the next hunt... Contact Bun-Bun
Today, we'd like to close with a Christmas message brought to you by our proud sponsors:12 Days of Christmas - A Predacat's Rendition
On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter Pounce treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of Kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!
Kamjiin:What do you mean we can't say that? Ok! FINE!
On the 12th day of the Eastern-Hemispherically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration, (NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)
FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
THREE deconstructionist poets TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses
AND a Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
Thank you for choosing HMW: Frontline. We hope you enjoyed our Christmas Special. Please join us next week. I'm Kamjiin, your Frontline War Correspondant, dedicated to reporting Honest and Accurate stories from the front lines of the Great War.
Staff: Kamjiin- Correspondant/ Editor, MamaKitty- Proofreader, Grimsqueaker- Photographer, Tammuz- Columnist
Contributors: Jeep!, Bun-Bun, sumowrestler, MamaKitty
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#9In the next exciting issue of HMW: Frontline, we reflect on 2007...
