Things you'd never hear Transformers characters Say.
Things you'd never hear Transformers characters Say.
OK, you know the drill. In this here topic, we post things certain characters would probably never EEEEEEEEVER say.
I'll start:
*Optimus Rings up Magnus about his use of the word 'Dammit' in the movie.*
Optimus: "Yooooooooou cannot say the Filth, flarn, flarn, flarn, filth in front of PEOPLE."
Magnus: "I never said no 'Filth, Flarn, filth, And I"m offended that you called. **** you!"
I'll start:
*Optimus Rings up Magnus about his use of the word 'Dammit' in the movie.*
Optimus: "Yooooooooou cannot say the Filth, flarn, flarn, flarn, filth in front of PEOPLE."
Magnus: "I never said no 'Filth, Flarn, filth, And I"m offended that you called. **** you!"
- Damolisher
- Brainmaster
- Posts: 1323
- News Credits: 3
- Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 1:29 am
Okay, that's a good one.
Megatron: You disappoint me yet again Starscream...
Starscream: My appologies sir... um... sir?
Magatron: What?
Starscream: I love you...
Megatron: ...
Sick and wrong... I know!! I'm sorry!!!
I couldn't resist!!!
Megatron: You disappoint me yet again Starscream...
Starscream: My appologies sir... um... sir?
Magatron: What?
Starscream: I love you...
Megatron: ...

Sick and wrong... I know!! I'm sorry!!!
I couldn't resist!!!

-
Siren Prime - Godmaster
- Posts: 1579
- Joined: Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:56 pm
- Location: Cybertron
Ultra Magnus: You know what, Rodimus? You AREN'T the leader Optimus was, and you never will be. Give me back the Matrix, you whining little bitch.
***
Optimus: Humans are in danger? Meh, not my problem. Maybe they'll learn to keep their most dangerous inventions secret in future.
***
Smokescreen: Vote "no" on Indian gaming laws.
***
Skywarp: I'm pregnant, Thundercracker... and it's not yours!
***
Swindle: Everything must go! Prices slashed!
***
Prowl: Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
***
Optimus: Sideswipe! Give me your whoopie cushion!
Sideswipe: My whoopie cushion?
Optimus: NOW!
***
Soundwave: Laserbeak: Eject. Operation: Poop on Starscream.
***
Shockwave (after missing the table with his mug): I HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION! Why will Mighty Megatron not give me another eye?
***
Kup: ...anyway, to cut a long story short, we blew stuff up. The end.
***
Megatron: Who put this whoopie cushion on my chair?!!?
***
Sunstreaker: Ah, who am I kidding? Tracks DOES have a better looking alt mode.
***
Starscream: Megatron has fallen! I'll get the ballot box so we can all vote on who should be the next leader.
***
***
Optimus: Humans are in danger? Meh, not my problem. Maybe they'll learn to keep their most dangerous inventions secret in future.
***
Smokescreen: Vote "no" on Indian gaming laws.
***
Skywarp: I'm pregnant, Thundercracker... and it's not yours!
***
Swindle: Everything must go! Prices slashed!
***
Prowl: Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
***
Optimus: Sideswipe! Give me your whoopie cushion!
Sideswipe: My whoopie cushion?
Optimus: NOW!
***
Soundwave: Laserbeak: Eject. Operation: Poop on Starscream.
***
Shockwave (after missing the table with his mug): I HAVE NO DEPTH PERCEPTION! Why will Mighty Megatron not give me another eye?
***
Kup: ...anyway, to cut a long story short, we blew stuff up. The end.
***
Megatron: Who put this whoopie cushion on my chair?!!?
***
Sunstreaker: Ah, who am I kidding? Tracks DOES have a better looking alt mode.
***
Starscream: Megatron has fallen! I'll get the ballot box so we can all vote on who should be the next leader.
***

For anyone who hasn't seen Spotlight: Sledge (and why not?!), my gritty and dark fanfiction piece "Holiday" is posted here.
- Sledge
- Gestalt
- Posts: 2755
- News Credits: 5
- Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:27 pm
- Location: In front of a computer, facing the monitor. Why would you want to know that?
STARSCREAM: Who The Hell Disrupts my Coronation!
GALVATRON: Coronation Starscream? This is Bad Comedy.
STARSCREAM: Megatron....is that you?
GALVATRON: Here's a F*cking Hint!!
I could so the two of them saying...
GALVATRON: Coronation Starscream? This is Bad Comedy.
STARSCREAM: Megatron....is that you?
GALVATRON: Here's a F*cking Hint!!
I could so the two of them saying...
Last edited by Starscream "The Mighty" on Fri Nov 23, 2007 5:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Starscream "The Mighty"
- Mini-Con
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2007 10:19 pm
Cliff Jumper: Zoiks!
Warpath: One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! To the moon!
Cosmos: I most certainly DO have my documents in order, sir!
Brawn: You know, that really hurts my feelings, guys...
Spike: You know, no matter how often I wear them, I just never seem to get tired of my yellow workman's boots and hat!
Spark Plug: Neither do I, son! In fact, I threw away all my other clothes, because GOD DAMN these fit GREAT!
Spike: I know! They're so versatile! You can wear them for work, and then turn around and attend a formal dinner!
Spark Plug: I wonder if L.L. Bean knows about this?
Soundwave: Lazerbeak, eject. Operation-assimilation. Buzzsaw, eject. Operation-desegregation.
Starscream: So Megatron, the Autobots foiled yet another one of our attempts to flood a hydroelectic dam and steal energon. I can keep a secret just as well as the next guy, but between you and me, I think that Prime is STARTING TO SEE A F*CKING PATTERN HERE!!
Megatron: I don't look at it as a defeat. Rather, I look at it as an opportunity to come up with yet another sh*tty idea!
Warpath: One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom! To the moon!
Cosmos: I most certainly DO have my documents in order, sir!
Brawn: You know, that really hurts my feelings, guys...
Spike: You know, no matter how often I wear them, I just never seem to get tired of my yellow workman's boots and hat!
Spark Plug: Neither do I, son! In fact, I threw away all my other clothes, because GOD DAMN these fit GREAT!
Spike: I know! They're so versatile! You can wear them for work, and then turn around and attend a formal dinner!
Spark Plug: I wonder if L.L. Bean knows about this?
Soundwave: Lazerbeak, eject. Operation-assimilation. Buzzsaw, eject. Operation-desegregation.
Starscream: So Megatron, the Autobots foiled yet another one of our attempts to flood a hydroelectic dam and steal energon. I can keep a secret just as well as the next guy, but between you and me, I think that Prime is STARTING TO SEE A F*CKING PATTERN HERE!!
Megatron: I don't look at it as a defeat. Rather, I look at it as an opportunity to come up with yet another sh*tty idea!

- kicker_of_elves
- Micromaster
- Posts: 67
- Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 10:19 am
Wheeljack: I can't come up with some inane invention that will conveniently get us out of this mess!
- - -
Shrapnel: Could use more electronselectrons.
- - -
Grimlock: I, Grimlock use proper pronoun for once.
- - -
Shrapnel: Could use more electronselectrons.
- - -
Grimlock: I, Grimlock use proper pronoun for once.
- Maestro Meister
- Mini-Con
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:00 pm
Optimus: Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab.
***
Arcee: I'll join the Decepticons if you live up to your name, Thrust.
***
Alpha Trion: You know what? I don't know. I'm dead. Why don't you try sorting out your own problems and giving me a little peace, huh?
***
Blurr: I'm Batman.
***
Starscream: A brilliant scheme, Megatron! I shall pay you for it... in RAPE DOLLARS!!!
***
Bumblebee: I could kill you in seventy-six different ways just with this pencil. YOu might want to remember that next time you're planning to say something like "It's like Sherlock Holmes with floppy discs!"
***
Motormaster: Remember to obey the posted speed limit. We don't want to crash into anything.
***
Hound: I wonder what Prime would say if he knew I go off-roading solely to find places to hide the bodies of humans I've mutilated?
***
Ravage: Colonel, did you know about Metal Gear?!!?
***
Megatron: It's Betty, you son of a pig. The name is Betty.
***
Bruticus: Bruticus hate everyone. Bruticus sulk in bedroom and post poetry on LiveJournal.
***
Optimus: Sound the alarm! Someone's stolen my Happy Cake Oven! Was it... YOU?
Cliffjumper: Aw, now I know you aren't looking at me!
***
Perceptor: So you see, Spike, merely by focusing the sun's rays through my lens, I can set fire to this orphanage.
***
Shockwave: Yarr, harr, fiddly dee! Being a pirate is alright with me!
***
Bludgeon: Even I, a master of Metallikato, could not defeat Chuck Norris.
***
Arcee: I'll join the Decepticons if you live up to your name, Thrust.
***
Alpha Trion: You know what? I don't know. I'm dead. Why don't you try sorting out your own problems and giving me a little peace, huh?
***
Blurr: I'm Batman.
***
Starscream: A brilliant scheme, Megatron! I shall pay you for it... in RAPE DOLLARS!!!
***
Bumblebee: I could kill you in seventy-six different ways just with this pencil. YOu might want to remember that next time you're planning to say something like "It's like Sherlock Holmes with floppy discs!"
***
Motormaster: Remember to obey the posted speed limit. We don't want to crash into anything.
***
Hound: I wonder what Prime would say if he knew I go off-roading solely to find places to hide the bodies of humans I've mutilated?
***
Ravage: Colonel, did you know about Metal Gear?!!?
***
Megatron: It's Betty, you son of a pig. The name is Betty.
***
Bruticus: Bruticus hate everyone. Bruticus sulk in bedroom and post poetry on LiveJournal.
***
Optimus: Sound the alarm! Someone's stolen my Happy Cake Oven! Was it... YOU?
Cliffjumper: Aw, now I know you aren't looking at me!
***
Perceptor: So you see, Spike, merely by focusing the sun's rays through my lens, I can set fire to this orphanage.
***
Shockwave: Yarr, harr, fiddly dee! Being a pirate is alright with me!
***
Bludgeon: Even I, a master of Metallikato, could not defeat Chuck Norris.

For anyone who hasn't seen Spotlight: Sledge (and why not?!), my gritty and dark fanfiction piece "Holiday" is posted here.
- Sledge
- Gestalt
- Posts: 2755
- News Credits: 5
- Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:27 pm
- Location: In front of a computer, facing the monitor. Why would you want to know that?
- Motto: "Peace, Love, and Rock n' Roll"
- Weapon: Dirge Gun
Perceptor: Brawn, could you accompany me for a moment? I have something I wish to show you.
Brawn: Is this another one of your "fancy" experiments? Because I *still* think you're a coward, and...
[Perceptor transforms into light cannon mode, blasts Brawn into next Tuesday, then transforms back into robot mode.]
Perceptor: Hmm. Apparently utilizing full spectrum amplification *does* result in complete structural disassociation. Fascinating. *scribble, scribble*
***
Fireflight: Hey, look! I can see my house from here!
Slingshot: You don't *have* a house, you idiot.
Fireflight: Oh, yeah...
***
Dead End: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my, what a wonderful day...
***
Wheeljack: Hmm. You know, I just don't think this design is safe enough for general use. I think I'd better shelve it until I can perform proper safety testing.
***
Carly: I didn't want to tell you this, Spike, but... I've been secretly dating Bumblebee behind your back. I'm so sorry...
***
Chip: Actually, I can walk just fine. I've just been keeping the wheelchair ever since I broke my leg once in middle school, so I can collect Social Security.
***
Brawn: Is this another one of your "fancy" experiments? Because I *still* think you're a coward, and...
[Perceptor transforms into light cannon mode, blasts Brawn into next Tuesday, then transforms back into robot mode.]
Perceptor: Hmm. Apparently utilizing full spectrum amplification *does* result in complete structural disassociation. Fascinating. *scribble, scribble*
***
Fireflight: Hey, look! I can see my house from here!
Slingshot: You don't *have* a house, you idiot.
Fireflight: Oh, yeah...
***
Dead End: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my, what a wonderful day...
***
Wheeljack: Hmm. You know, I just don't think this design is safe enough for general use. I think I'd better shelve it until I can perform proper safety testing.
***
Carly: I didn't want to tell you this, Spike, but... I've been secretly dating Bumblebee behind your back. I'm so sorry...
***
Chip: Actually, I can walk just fine. I've just been keeping the wheelchair ever since I broke my leg once in middle school, so I can collect Social Security.
***
-
Jeysie - Transmetal Warrior
- Posts: 895
- News Credits: 1
- Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:47 pm
- Location: Western Massachusetts
- Strength: 3
- Intelligence: 8
- Speed: 4
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 2
- Courage: 7
- Firepower: 1
- Skill: 8

Hound and Swindle decides to have a little Jeep to Jeep talk:
Hound: Sometimes i feel ... abandoned ... you get alot of attention by the fans, but ... i feel kinda lonely, like Hasbro and everyone else just seems to ignoring the fact, that i am a simply Masterpiece ...
Swindle: I know a Masterpiece when i see it, last week i sold a naked picture of Arcee too Skids for 2000 energon goodies.
Hound: Huh?
Swindle: Arcee ... She got legs ...
Hound: *Im getting ignored once again*
- Danish-Liokaiser
- Transmetal Warrior
- Posts: 884
- News Credits: 1
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:45 pm
- Motto: "Autobots just BORE me!"
- Weapon: Flamethrower Cannons
Siren Prime wrote:Okay, that's a good one.
Megatron: You disappoint me yet again Starscream...
Starscream: My appologies sir... um... sir?
Magatron: What?
Starscream: I love you...
Megatron: ...![]()
Sick and wrong... I know!! I'm sorry!!!
I couldn't resist!!!
oh my gods! That was criminally wrong! Funny as hell, but wrong!



Cannabis Prime wrote:I didn't know a super-sonic jet could park on the grass like that!
Caboose wrote:Time is not made out of lines! Time is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!
The First Lady of Rage on the Twincast Podcast! http://www.seibertron.com/podcast/
Desperately seeking: Individual weapons (flash included) and missiles for G1 Reflector! PM me if ya got em!
-
Pyrostrata - Podcast Staff
- Posts: 3001
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:59 pm
- Location: Missouri...Land where dreams wither and die!
- Strength: 8
- Intelligence: 10
- Speed: 9
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 7
- Courage: 10
- Firepower: 6
- Skill: 9
Perceptor: Me Perceptor love fishing!
Optimus: Yo, Perceptor, whazzup? What's wrong with ya ?
---------------------------------------------------------
Megatron: Decepticons, attack!
Optimus: Autobots, retreat!
Megatron: We've won!
Starscream: Yes, Megatron, you so totally ROCK!
Rumble: Yes, I agree that our leader is a great one. He's so charismatic and intelligent.
Optimus: Yo, Perceptor, whazzup? What's wrong with ya ?
---------------------------------------------------------
Megatron: Decepticons, attack!
Optimus: Autobots, retreat!
Megatron: We've won!
Starscream: Yes, Megatron, you so totally ROCK!
Rumble: Yes, I agree that our leader is a great one. He's so charismatic and intelligent.
-
Deadpool. - Guardian Of Seibertron
- Posts: 5939
- Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:49 pm
- Motto: "Autobots just BORE me!"
- Weapon: Flamethrower Cannons
I have never laughed so hard at a thread in my life! *falls outta chair laughing til it hurts*

Cannabis Prime wrote:I didn't know a super-sonic jet could park on the grass like that!
Caboose wrote:Time is not made out of lines! Time is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!
The First Lady of Rage on the Twincast Podcast! http://www.seibertron.com/podcast/
Desperately seeking: Individual weapons (flash included) and missiles for G1 Reflector! PM me if ya got em!
-
Pyrostrata - Podcast Staff
- Posts: 3001
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:59 pm
- Location: Missouri...Land where dreams wither and die!
- Strength: 8
- Intelligence: 10
- Speed: 9
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 7
- Courage: 10
- Firepower: 6
- Skill: 9
- Motto: "Autobots just BORE me!"
- Weapon: Flamethrower Cannons
Megatron, after blowing up a dam and killing hundreds in the valley below:
*yells* whoops! silly me! My bad!
*yells* whoops! silly me! My bad!

Cannabis Prime wrote:I didn't know a super-sonic jet could park on the grass like that!
Caboose wrote:Time is not made out of lines! Time is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!
The First Lady of Rage on the Twincast Podcast! http://www.seibertron.com/podcast/
Desperately seeking: Individual weapons (flash included) and missiles for G1 Reflector! PM me if ya got em!
-
Pyrostrata - Podcast Staff
- Posts: 3001
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:59 pm
- Location: Missouri...Land where dreams wither and die!
- Strength: 8
- Intelligence: 10
- Speed: 9
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 7
- Courage: 10
- Firepower: 6
- Skill: 9
HotRod: Magnus, land the ship! I need to use the toilet!
Perceptor: I believe I can search the intergalactic directorial guidebook, which should provide us with detailed instructions on where the toilet is located.
Magnus: Shut up, Perceptor! Damnit, I can't deal with that now!
Optimus' ghost: What did I tell you about saying "Damnit"!
Kup: HotRod, hold your shafts and stop lubricating!
Perceptor: I believe I can search the intergalactic directorial guidebook, which should provide us with detailed instructions on where the toilet is located.
Magnus: Shut up, Perceptor! Damnit, I can't deal with that now!
Optimus' ghost: What did I tell you about saying "Damnit"!
Kup: HotRod, hold your shafts and stop lubricating!
-
Deadpool. - Guardian Of Seibertron
- Posts: 5939
- Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 7:49 pm
- Motto: "Autobots just BORE me!"
- Weapon: Flamethrower Cannons
something one will never hear:
Optimus Prime uttering a string of VERY blue obscenities...although it would be hilarious, but not gonna happen...the goodie-poo-pants!
Optimus Prime uttering a string of VERY blue obscenities...although it would be hilarious, but not gonna happen...the goodie-poo-pants!


Cannabis Prime wrote:I didn't know a super-sonic jet could park on the grass like that!
Caboose wrote:Time is not made out of lines! Time is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!
The First Lady of Rage on the Twincast Podcast! http://www.seibertron.com/podcast/
Desperately seeking: Individual weapons (flash included) and missiles for G1 Reflector! PM me if ya got em!
-
Pyrostrata - Podcast Staff
- Posts: 3001
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:59 pm
- Location: Missouri...Land where dreams wither and die!
- Strength: 8
- Intelligence: 10
- Speed: 9
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 7
- Courage: 10
- Firepower: 6
- Skill: 9
- Motto: "Autobots just BORE me!"
- Weapon: Flamethrower Cannons
EnergonCube wrote:Megatron: Pull my finger
*falls outta chair again laughing* This thread is good for the soul! And you HAVE to add an Alabama accent on that

Cannabis Prime wrote:I didn't know a super-sonic jet could park on the grass like that!
Caboose wrote:Time is not made out of lines! Time is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!
The First Lady of Rage on the Twincast Podcast! http://www.seibertron.com/podcast/
Desperately seeking: Individual weapons (flash included) and missiles for G1 Reflector! PM me if ya got em!
-
Pyrostrata - Podcast Staff
- Posts: 3001
- Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:59 pm
- Location: Missouri...Land where dreams wither and die!
- Strength: 8
- Intelligence: 10
- Speed: 9
- Endurance: 7
- Rank: 7
- Courage: 10
- Firepower: 6
- Skill: 9
Arcee: HotRod does this dress make my butt look big?
HotRod: Hold on. *sound of a flushing toliet*
--------
Blurr: Uh......*speechless*
HotRod: Hold on. *sound of a flushing toliet*
--------
Blurr: Uh......*speechless*

- Arcane Charger
- Mini-Con
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:37 pm
Blaster: *Cranks out the usual tune he and Jazz always play from the cartoon.* "And that was our song, now here's Teletraan-1 with a Dedication to our fallen friend Prowl."
Teletraan-1: "Gah! I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a **** up-tempo record every time I gotta do a goddamn death dedication! It's the last goddamn time; I want somebody who uses his **** brain to not come out of a goddamn record... that's up-tempo and I've got to talk about a **** Police Car dying!...Boy, is this **** ponderous man...ponderous, **** ponderous."
Blaster: "....
OK... And now to Jazz with the Jazz-U Weather Report!"
Jazz: "ISS GON' RAIN!"
Blaster: "Thank you, Jazz."
Teletraan-1: "Gah! I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a **** up-tempo record every time I gotta do a goddamn death dedication! It's the last goddamn time; I want somebody who uses his **** brain to not come out of a goddamn record... that's up-tempo and I've got to talk about a **** Police Car dying!...Boy, is this **** ponderous man...ponderous, **** ponderous."
Blaster: "....

Jazz: "ISS GON' RAIN!"
Blaster: "Thank you, Jazz."
- Damolisher
- Brainmaster
- Posts: 1323
- News Credits: 3
- Joined: Fri Sep 05, 2003 1:29 am
Siren Prime wrote:Okay, that's a good one.
Megatron: You disappoint me yet again Starscream...
Starscream: My appologies sir... um... sir?
Magatron: What?
Starscream: I love you...
Megatron: ...![]()
Sick and wrong... I know!! I'm sorry!!!
I couldn't resist!!!



I love THIS one.
- Auto Bot
- God Of Transformers
- Posts: 12242
- Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2007 1:23 am
- Motto: "I'm grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I'm going to take over the world any day now!"
- Weapon: Multi-Function Sword
Optimus Prime: I give up, Megatron. You win.
Megatron: Finally, I have defeated Optimus Prime once and for
all!
Starscream: I always knew you could do it Megatron! You're the best leader ever!
Spike: A mysterious tape deck in the middle of the desert... I'd better leave it here in case whoever lost it comes looking for it.
Grimlock: And this is me Grimlock, graduating with master degree in English Language.
Ultra Magnus: I'll deal with this right now.
Quintesson Judge: Innocent! Bailiff, release the prisoner!
Dead End: The sun is shining, the birds are singing, life couldn't be better.
Bonecrusher: I like you.
Megatron: Finally, I have defeated Optimus Prime once and for
all!
Starscream: I always knew you could do it Megatron! You're the best leader ever!
Spike: A mysterious tape deck in the middle of the desert... I'd better leave it here in case whoever lost it comes looking for it.
Grimlock: And this is me Grimlock, graduating with master degree in English Language.
Ultra Magnus: I'll deal with this right now.
Quintesson Judge: Innocent! Bailiff, release the prisoner!
Dead End: The sun is shining, the birds are singing, life couldn't be better.
Bonecrusher: I like you.

-
Tekka - Guardian Of Seibertron
- Posts: 7180
- News Credits: 2
- Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2007 10:14 am
- Location: Dark Side of The Light
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