Eeeeesh. This thread just
had to come up when I'm just getting back into transformers. I'm probably going to bomb this completely, but I might as well give it a shot...
No Place Like Home [Lvl 2-3, 5 units]
Scattorshot here! Yeah, Scattorshot! ...no, not the Technobot. That other one. Yes, that one. Anyway, y'all picked a great ol' time to come back to the base. We just finished laying out some turrets that'll give Starscream and his clowns something to think about before dropping in for any more unexpected - *BOOM!* - what the - ? Oh, Primus! All bots, return to base! Multiple incoming Decepticon contacts, headed for the turrets! And I've got something big coming in on my scopes - and it looks like STARSCREAM!
Pro Patria my Aft, Megatron! [Lvl 2-3, 5 units]
Does Megatron think me a fool? Does he think that I, Starscream, am so self-absorbed and blind that I would lead the seekers on a suicide attack, against an Autobot installation in a valiant, ill-placed strike with clear, fortified anti-aircraft platforms and emplacements on the ground? Either your logic circuits have failed, my 'glorious' leader, or you're just trying to get rid of me now - and you insult me by not even making an
effort to be sneaky about it! Luckily, I am not so easily...disposed of. Decepticons! Rally to my cause, I who would be your new leader! Destroy the anti-air emplacements on the ground, and the Autobots protecting them! Ah, Megatron, the look of unpleasant surprise on your face when I return alive will be
most rewarding...
* * *
Crossing the Rubicon [Lvl 3-4, 10 units]
Attention, Autobots! It is I, Starscream! Do not attempt to trace this transmission, for any attempt will cause this message to self-destruct, and its message to be lost forever! Megatron is vulnerable, at a small encampment in northern Italy, with minimal forces protecting him. This is your chance to strike! And then I will become the new leader of the Decepticons, and rule the galaxy! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Er...in the spirit of mutual co-operation, peace on earth, and all that. Promise. For real this time. You do believe me, don't you?
Et tu, Starscream? [Lvl 3-4, 10 units]
Starscream, you are an idiot. The wise tyrant always watches his back...in one sense, or another. Yes, I am here, in the land where these humans demonstrated once such lust for power and ruthlessness against their foes that even I admire their exploits. But the humans, Starscream, are still weak, and so are you. Thanks to intelligence provided by Soundwave, we know all about your little 'slip' of intelligence to the Autobots. What you failed to mention is the subterranean levels of the bunker we have constructed, the auto-guns on the surface, or the troops I have lying in wait. You demonstrate ambition, but you lack strategy and cunning - and unlike this planet's rulers of old, I do not fall so easily when backstabbed...
* * *
Wheelie Say HEEEEEEEEEEEELP! *yelp* [Lvl 1-2, 5 units]
Wheelie minding own business,
Wheelie having fun!
Wheelie go to bar one night,
Now Wheelie on the run!
How Wheelie know when he walk out,
With them fembots on his arm,
He bump into jet-bot who screech and say
That Wheelie just bought farm!
Null-rays flying every way,
You can hear them, don't you?
Wheelie doesn't want to die,
You'll help poor Wheelie, won't you?
Pest Control [Lvl 1-2, 5 units]
That snivelling, rhyming, high-pitched, insignificant little WORM! How dare he invade the privacy of my favorite bar? The only place on this entire blasted asteroid colony where you can find a good, wholesome jar of oil? Well, I've had enough. Enough, I say! I won't tolerate his ilk any longer in my sanctuary! Decepticons, scramble! I, Starscream, will go down in history as the Decepticon who killed, yes, killed Wheelie! And I'm buying drinks for whoever brings me the little monster's vocal processors!
* * *
Rescue Michael Bay! [Lvl 3-5, 15 units]
Autobots, this is Optimus Prime. I know your sentiments on the films which recently have depicted our ancient struggle against the Decepticons are varied. Personally, I thought the second movie to be worthy and tearworthy...*sniff*...ahem, but that does not matter now. The Decepticons have crossed the line. They have committed an act of war against this world by capturing a man with a vision, whose only crime was trying to alert the world to our very real plight. The Decepticons must be stopped before they can harm Michael Bay, and put my screen time in the third movie at risk. Autobots! Transform, and roll out!
Get Michael Bay! [Lvl 3-5, 15 units]
So, that fleshling in the chair with the megaphone thinks he can make me look like a crony, does he? Does he?!? I led the Decepticons to glory in those years between Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but is any of that reflected in this 'blockbuster' disaster? No! Three, maybe four spoken lines, and I get my own arm lobbed off and thrown at me! HUMILIATION the likes of which words cannot describe! My honor as a Decepticon has been directly attacked! Well, I'll finally have my revenge. I, Starscream, have captured the villain responsible for sullying my good name! You like explosions, I hear, Mr. Bay? I'LL SHOW YOU EXPLOSIONS!
* * *
Storming the Stronghold! [Lvl 2-4, 10 units]
This is Ironhide! Listen up, because I'm only telling you once. The Decepticons we spotted in Tunisia are setting up some sort of energon mine, surrounded by weapons platforms. When those platforms go active, they'll wipe out every human settlement in a five-mile radius. We can't let that happen! You guys are the reinforcements for the main strike team, and guess what? They're pinned down! So get reinforcing!
Operation: Thermopylae [Lvl 2-4, 10 units]
Emergency channel to Megatron open: Enemy engaged, secret desert base discovered. Analysis: Autobots superior. Decepticons insufficient. Victory improbable. Contingency plan processing...done. Co-ordinating new attack pattern. Divert emergency power to weapons platforms. Activate shield grid. Soundwave engage, Decepticons attack! Ratbat, Lazerbeak, Ravage, Rumble, eject! Operation: Thermopylae, commence! Destroy all human settlements!
