The Energon Pub

Ok now here's the story.
In my class (I'm learning to become a multilingual secretary) there's this Hooligan, who keeps writing little letters to me containing texts like "do you want to date me?" in Spanish.

Now I never know what it means cos he gets them out of this slang book, well I always cross on the wrong option....
So he and the rest have a lath, well on Friday he wrote something I did understand, so I wrote back to shut up!

Well then ge gave me a note telling me that he would beat the living crap lout of me after School, I just made an escape cos my mum decided to pick me up.

Well he's gonna try on Monday, I'm sure of that.

He's a lot bigger than me, after all his hobby is beating the **** out of people...
So I know I'll lose this fight, but I'll do as much damage to him as I can.

Who knows maybe I have a chance to win, I faced bigger menaces then him, cos I've been bullied all my life by classmates and had fights with 5 ore more guys at once, so I may just have a slight chance- I hope.

Just thought I'd let you know.

The update is on page2!

That is a nasty situation to be in... good luck I suppose...

Here's a cool trick I learned:

When someone goes for a left or right hook, push the shoulder they're punching with, with your palm, and do it hard. This will throw them off-balance, allowing for a few easy hits to the nose.

Thanks guys, that's a good tip Shadowman!
I'll be trying that, plus I'll try to jump on his back wrapping my arms around his neck, I hope that works!

this is not something i like hearing about, all i can say is becareful and come out ok

Bring something.

Or punch with your keys sticking out of your fist... trust me that hurts.

He's asking for it.

g1optimusprime wrote:this is not something i like hearing about, all i can say is becareful and come out ok

I hope that will be the the outcome!

Our resident zombie has a mean streak to him.

Good luck, and I hope you pound the living crap out of him. Fight dirty if you can get away with it.



Not that I endorse violence of any nature.


Me and the ChibliCron will be routing for ya though.

Insurgent wrote:Our resident zombie has a mean streak to him.

Good luck, and I hope you pound the living crap out of him. Fight dirty if you can get away with it.



Not that I endorse violence of any nature.


Me and the ChibliCron will be routing for ya though.

Thanks, I'll be using my enviorment if I can.
As I said he's build like a shithouse, so I just have to fight dirty.

Try and get at least 1 or 2 crotch shots in, then work the kidneys and face. Also, consider wearing some running trainers that day....

tequila stu wrote:Try and get at least 1 or 2 crotch shots in, then work the kidneys and face. Also, consider wearing some running trainers that day....

Thanks but I'll be wearing my boots (they make more pain) as if I'd run away he'll just follow me with his car.

Oh man, good luck DM. I aint been in a fight for years, but what used to work for me was kicking them. If you are tall, kick the **** outta him. In the crotch.

The face is always good too, and, if you can, try to get him in the neck, no-one enjoys being punched in the windpipe. I like that key idea too.

Tangent wrote:Oh man, good luck DM. I aint been in a fight for years, but what used to work for me was kicking them. If you are tall, kick the **** outta him. In the crotch.

The face is always good too, and, if you can, try to get him in the neck, no-one enjoys being punched in the windpipe. I like that key idea too.

A punch/jab to the windpipe will stall anyone, unless he has rolls of flab. I also imagine jabbing his eyes with the joints above your knuckles would cause a fair bit of injury to him, without injuring your fingers as the curling of them will make them less likely to bend.

I'm gonna stop before this becomes a 'how to fight' thread and repurcussions start.

But I hate people like this. Strike a blow for underdogs everywhere DM!

Oh man this thread makes me feel likeI can actuly beat him!

Dead Metal wrote:Oh man this thread makes me feel likeI can actuly beat him!

Don't get too overconfident, you'll make mistakes. But take a page out of the Dark Lord of the Sith's book. Anger, hatred, these are great for giving you a well of power you didn't know you had. Don't fight these feelings, allow them to consume you, power your actions. You'll leave him with that much more of a bruise. Worked for me.

Insurgent wrote:

Dead Metal wrote:Oh man this thread makes me feel likeI can actuly beat him!

Don't get too overconfident, you'll make mistakes. But take a page out of the Dark Lord of the Sith's book. Anger, hatred, these are great for giving you a well of power you didn't know you had. Don't fight these feelings, allow them to consume you, power your actions. You'll leave him with that much more of a bruise. Worked for me.

I always fight with anger and hate, pure hate!

Shadowman wrote:Here's a cool trick I learned:

When someone goes for a left or right hook, push the shoulder they're punching with, with your palm, and do it hard. This will throw them off-balance, allowing for a few easy hits to the nose.

Also, kick him so hard in the balls that they fly out the other side of his body.




And so you know, I wholey endorse every cheap trick, every dirty move, every unfair advantage you can get to kick his ass.


Kick him in the balls hard. He'll recoil and bend. Bring your hands down hard on the back of his head. If you do it hard enough, I'd be damn surprised if he wasn't unconscious.

Ok here's the update!

Now I went up to him, he posed and played with his fists and shoulders.

Then he started laughing and slapped me friendly on my shoulder, and said I should have seen my face!

So it was all just a sick joke, damn I hate his idea of being funny!

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

I mean...what a jerk.

Oh the humanity!!!!


Glad your ok.

Yea he really is a jerk, and I'm glad that I'm OK too, peww that was a close one!

Disturbing to read how many people said, "kick him in the balls."

That's the most cowardly way to fight imaginable. It's dishonorable and pretty damn wimpy and girly. Learn how to fight and you don't have to resort to fighting like a woman.


That being said. Jumping on his back and wrapping arms around his neck would have been a big mistake. He'd have leaned forward, grabbed you over his shoulder, and slammed you into the ground. Then while you're laying their wondering where the air in your lungs went he'd kick the crap out of you.

Some tricks:

Blow in his face when you're eye to eye. He'll blink, you'll punch. His eyes open in time to see a fist .00001 seconds aways from his nose.

Punch with your thumbs up, not to the side like so many people do. One hit with your hand in this position can bust a nose and mouth at the same time.

Stay away from eye sockets. The bone is hard and easily breaks knuckles.

Knees only bend one way. Hit a knee from any direction other then from behind and you just busted his knee. He drops. Commence to kick the snot out of him.

Don't kick people in the balls.

1. It's pu**y to do that
2. you can make the guy never able to have kids
3. you can kill him



not worth going to jail for murder because you didn't know how to fight so you fought like a girl.

Thanks Malikon

No prob. Rereading my post it came off a little harsh, that wasn't my intention. I just hate when people do the, "kick him in the nuts!" thing. That's for pre-schoolers.

also I thought I'd elaborate on what I meant by thumbs up. I'd rather show you exactly what I meant then take the chance that you somehow break a thumb by listening to me. So with the help of my trusty Michael Myers as a volunteer....





it's amazing how quick some fights can end when you bust thier nose and lips with one hit. Especially if you smash thier lower lip over thier lower teeth, alot of times they'll actually pop through the other side. Like they pierced thier lip with teeth. Kinda cool, usually makes them not want to fight you anymore.

Then again by then you're usually so angry you don't stop, so have some fun with 'em. Just don't kill or maim them, it's not worth the legal troubles.

good luck in your future endeavors and don't take crap from people just because they think they can bully you. If you get used to eating sh*t with a smile, you might start to like the taste and carry that attitude into your adult years. You don't want to be an adult looking back wondering why you were so scared of some little punk kid when you were in school.

Malikon wrote:Disturbing to read how many people said, "kick him in the balls."

That's the most cowardly way to fight imaginable. It's dishonorable and pretty damn wimpy and girly. Learn how to fight and you don't have to resort to fighting like a woman.

Blow in his face when you're eye to eye. He'll blink, you'll punch. His eyes open in time to see a fist .00001 seconds aways from his nose.

Yes... because this is how real men fight!

Hit a knee from any direction other then from behind and you just busted his knee. He drops. Commence to kick the snot out of him.

Translation: kick a guy when he is down!



Dude, seriously, this guy seems like a real a-hole and kicking a jerk like that in the balls is what he deserves. It's got nothing to do with being girly or wimpy... it's giving a prick what he's asking for. I'd even suggest smashing his face in with a baseball bat when he's not looking so he knows not to mess with you again, but that's just me...