The Energon Pub

From Yahoo:

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi

I thought this might initiate some discussion here.

Women love me, so I'm going to go with 'yes'.

The whole women liking "jerks" thing all boils down to insecurities. All women want to be with the alpha male, the guy that other guys like. The reason they find the "jerk" so attractive, is because we like him too. He's the guy who has all the funny stories and is fun to have a beer with. I also don't think that calling these guys "jerks" is right, because they are just being who they are, alpha males. It's totally different than being a prick, that is a whole separate category. A prick is someone who tries to come off as cool, but neither gender can stand in the long run. Unfortunately, some women confuse a prick with an alpha, and that's where the crying starts. I'm a nice guy, so I don't know anything about that.

I've seen it before, but I'm a nice guy, and most women don't want a nice guy to start off with, they want a guy they can tame and mold into their perfect man

Though I've made it a rule not to try and understand women too much, you learn what rules there are, then they all change.

Answer: No.

Do all women like jerks? No. I'd be very happy to find some nice guy who wanted to date me, especially if he was a geek, too. And my best friend is usually sweet to me and I adore him for it.

But do a lot of them like jerks? Yeah.

However, it works both ways... namely, men like "bad girls". I remember when I was a teenager my male friends would always ask me for advice on how to get a date out of the prettiest popular girl who treated them like dirt and wouldn't give them the time of day. Meanwhile there were a lot of girls I knew who were maybe less pretty and popular but would have been very happy to date one of my friends and be nice to them.

Could I get the guys to realize this? Nope. They wanted the girls who were pretty and "fun", not the boring "nice girls".

Unfortunately, the answer is yes. I try to be the good person, the one you can count on when the chips are down but it never works out for me. The good ones are always the boring, accountable ones more suitable to be your best friend. The bad bos or a--holes are fun, cool, wild and the kind of person you don't bring home to mama. Good guys don't stand a chance.

The problem with "Good Guys" is that they are always waiting around for someone or some girl to validate that they are in fact, a 'good guy'.

Good guy, jerk, whatever, it's all about confidence.

The one thing that really helps? Having a friend who will go to bat for you, be a wingman, and make sure that your confidence never drops below acceptable levels.

The only acceptable level? Believe that you're money and everyone else needs to know it.

Not all women are the same. Some love jerks, some don't, some don't even love men. There are enough out there to love every type of person. Whether you're an alpha, beta, or whatever letter you prefer, just keep looking. It's only over when you give up.

IMHO, you can't pigeon hole half the species.

Tekka wrote:IMHO, you can't pigeon hole half the species.

Blue Mary's mid-rift and Galactus-sized boobs in your sig would suggest otherwise.

Really? What would you say they suggest? I'm sure some men don't like big boobs, most of them are probably in prison, or Vietnam though.

I'm an alpha female, so no, I don't like jerks. I don't like cocky men, or ones that try to control women or show off whatever they have. I like successful men with a little humility. I only briefly ever "dated" a jerk, and never looked back when it ended after a whole two months. Forget that crap.

I dont like jerks and I know a lot of ladies who dont as well. A friend of mine once told me after he had been married and divorced from a very beautiful woman that pretty is not all it is cracked up to be. She may have been the prettiest girl in town but after a while all he saw was how self centered she was. I think that goes for guys too. Even if a girl is going out with them because they look good or have a lot of friends it will not take long for the jerk part of their personality to make them very ugly.

Do women like jerks?


Some do. Some don't.



I am one that, sadly, does. Guilty as charged...I just can't resist a bad boy!

Pyrostrata wrote:Do women like jerks?


Some do. Some don't.



I am one that, sadly, does. Guilty as charged...I just can't resist a bad boy!

How bad does it have to get though, before it crosses a line? I'm interested to hear.

As a guy, I don't like la perras, mainly because they all hate me. However it's apparent that women like various jerks, since I go to middle school.

There's always a part of a woman that loves the bad boy. And there's always a part of a man that loves the bad girl. Thats what makes it exciting! There are billions of people in this world different personalities, races, sexes and there's someone out there for everyone! Just stay true to yourself and live life you only get one!

Depends what your definition of bad is. When I think of a guy that is a jerk I picture a guy who puts down his girl every chance he gets or even slaps her around. Here in the southern half of Missouri there are a ton of them. They shake their empty glass so the ice will rattle to call their woman to serve her man.

Missourisnowflakes wrote:Depends what your definition of bad is. When I think of a guy that is a jerk I picture a guy who puts down his girl every chance he gets or even slaps her around. Here in the southern half of Missouri there are a ton of them. They shake their empty glass so the ice will rattle to call their woman to serve her man.

I guess it would. I mean bad in a good way for me anyway. Any man who constantly puts down or slaps around his girl has some serious issues. I like my women strong and independent with a kickass sense of humor. I guess thats why i'm with one. O and a little bad sometimes.

maybe, maybe not. there are some girls in my school who like arrogant guys. or maybe its just 8th grade girls.

Back in college, I was the 'nice guy.' I had a lot of female friends, but that's all they were, friends, and they made sure I got that distinction. After a while, I got fed up, pissed off at women, and just didn't give a s**t anymore. I became a 'jerk.' After that, my success rate with the opposite sex improved dramatically. Based soley on my experience, I'd have to say yes, they do. And that still pisses me off. I liked it better when I was 'nice.' But nice got lonely after a few years.
Eventually, I grew out of it. And eventually, girls tire of jerks and seek out nice guys. It's a shame however, that nice guys are, for lack of a better term, the fallback position. It's like, oh, I've had my fun, now it's time to bring in the actual marriage-material guys.
So maybe it shouldn't be 'do women like jerks,' maybe it's 'do high school and college age girls like jerks?'

jazz reborn wrote:maybe, maybe not. there are some girls in my school who like arrogant guys. or maybe its just 8th grade girls.

Might be. Kids that young can't be expected to fully understand relationships, especially when the hormones kick in and cause mass confusion.

I dunno if girls like a jerk or not. A few (And I stress that word) girls have liked me, but I'm not sure why. I'm like Galactus, I appear different to everyone.

Tekka wrote:

Pyrostrata wrote:Do women like jerks?


Some do. Some don't.



I am one that, sadly, does. Guilty as charged...I just can't resist a bad boy!

How bad does it have to get though, before it crosses a line? I'm interested to hear.

That is really relative on the person, to be honest. I put up with ASSLOADS of trouble with my ex-husband before I shut him down and out. Some people take more to drive me to kick them to the curb than others.

I recently dated a girl 17 years younger than myself (and yes, she was legal). The relationship started out with her saying it was all about me (me, not her). First off, who wouldn't be suckered in by that? Second, it didn't take long before she changed her tune and her real colors came out. But my colors also came out as well. I saw things in my own character that I didn't like and don't ever want to show. As a guy who hates the jerk attitude for more reasons than one I also strive to not be a nice guy either. Women may realize they don't like jerks, but they don't want nice guys either. I can only hope that I can achieve a balance between the two extremes and avoid the same in the woman of my own dreams.
I can also relate to the issue on women trying to change the man. I think my latest gf and I tried to change each other. It may have worked except I'm 37 now and set in my ways, she's young and just starting to experience life as an adult. Theres no room for changing when your stubborn. I would rather find someone who accepts me for who I am and I can accept her for who she is. That makes for alot less work should marriage come into play.
So what is this all about as I talk about my experence? My advice is to avoid being the jerk, but be bad enough to avoid being nice also.