Burn wrote:... not as disgusting as normal.
Negare is mellowing in her old age!

Haha, how about these then:
Whilst caring for an elderly gent, after feeding him I had to rush out of the room to the assistance of someone having a coronary in the hall, while helping the coronary I heard a puking sound but shrugged it off as coronary > puking. Anyway, when the other nurses and doctors arrived I could go back to the location of the puking.
I walked into this scene: the gent I had just fed had vomited up his dinner - thankfully into his bowl. While there's nothing foul or extremely messy about that - he had managed to grab the spoon and was eating his vomit and he was half way done!
Had a patient who had a MASSIVE reaction to an antibotic - resulted in these horrifically sized blisters on his hands and feet - something very rare indeed. Anyway, it took three of us to move him and one of the care givers he didn't like very much, so he hit her on the head with the palm of his hand - exploding his blister in the process, the woman ended up with drenched hair, and me and the other nurse got collateral damage from the spray.
Went to cop shop with crisis team, pt who had amazingly escaped from mental health custody in aussie, made it to UK caught by their mental health team, then escaped them, got to America, then made it to NZL and had somehow rented a car and hotel - where the car was now was anyone's guess as she had been found strippign off in shops in our local town. She smelt like a gypsy after a swim in a cess pool and decided to **** her pants and smear her faeces around the cell spelling out comical profanities. Then she threw faeces at the cops and at the mental health nurse while screaming she was perfectly healthy and was doign fine on her st. john's wart remedies.
Finally got her into the back of the prison van to take her to the inpatient mental health ward, when we arrived, she had disrobbed and again made a fine mess with the faeces and urine. Then we got her into the mental health unit she took a dump in the middle of the reception in front of everyone. Long story short she was sedated.
Next time I saw her she was escaping from the unit and in pursuit were about 6 nurses, who tackled her, which was not fun for them as her habit of smearing faeces was still alive and well despite sedating medication. The dose was drastically increased.
Saved the best till last:
Pt showed up at A&E complaining of pain in his lower leg, he had had a diabetic ucler that had been cared for. Anyway, he had moved house and not bothered to inform the district health nurse of his new abode's address. The pt hadn't bothered to care much for his dressing, and had left it on - for six weeks. It stunk like a dead sckunk stuffed into a dead fish with pureed dead cat smeared over it. It was leaking black pus and there were black streaks and bruises all up his leg (which he ended up loosing). When the doctor removed the dressing chunks of rotting flesh came off with it - in these long strips of black pusy jerky like stuff. The doctor then had to stop because he didn't feel well - enter a hardly nurse. She continued the examination. She had to peal away strips of dead and dying flesh and irrigate it with saline, pus was leaking everywhere and then came the fun part. She removed a large piece of flesh which honestly looked like it was sitting there, underwhich another piece of flesh about a cm thick which looked like it was moving. Underneath was a throng of maggots!
I grew up on a farm, I've seen my fair share of rotting animal carcuses, but by square cm this is the most maggots I've seen in one place. The nurse went as pale as a ghost, sat back on the floor, and got me to wash out the maggots. Which were juciy and pus covered.
Essentially, after the magots were out and the full extent of the rotting was guessed, he was off to surgery. he ended up with septis and managed to clock up a staggering 19 weeks in ICU. He's still alive and happy in a wheel chair awaiting the fitting of a fake leg.