The Energon Pub

We recently got a 7 month puppy!

My wife and two daughters love the idea of dressing it up.

I generally put on a humorous grumpy act about the whole thing, I don't actually mind it that much. I will usually say something like "good grief, poor dog", or upon seeing it mutter "ridiculous creature" (we all call it ridiculous, it's kind of the family word for "funny" or 'good god it's revolting" (again humorously not maliciously)

The $%^& hit the fan tonight when my wife got into how much of an $%^hole I am when it comes to the dog having a sweater etc, and how much I've been unsupportive of us having the dog.

first it starts with how I apparently said the idea was stupid

I have never EVER used that word with my wife or lids, it's just not said in the house. This comment simply didn't happen.

Then it continued with how I said "it's not adorable, it's **** ridiculous" in apparently a fairly venomous tone.

What I said was "I don't think it's adorable but it is actually pretty neat" - not exactly a venomous statement, and it certainly wasn't put that way. I have no idea where the f-bomb came from either.

when I try to explain that no this wasn't the case, don't know what you're hearing, I get yelled at because I'm lying. In all honesty I'm not perfect and I'm pretty good at apologizing for messing up.

I\ve gone as far as to say I'm sorry if anything I said was hurtful, didn't want to make you feel that way, etc and then I get in trouble for running thru the motions of apologizing...even though I'll argue till my deathbed I haven't said anything derogatory towards her - particularly those two specific statements.

So now she's never going to buy the dog clothes ever again because it will just make her sad - I'm arguing that she should be able to do so without problem but I've permanently "ruined" it for her. She sees me differently now so on and so forth.

I also got the "I don't give you trouble about your Transformers, but when I want something small it's a big deal" talk


regarding that:

I get her flowers a minimum of once a month
If she wants shoes, purse, or whatever I say "go for it"
I just bought her a Nintendo DS a week ago - that was after I took her in for a manicure
i work really hard at doing a lot of the housework so she doesn't have to
I'm making her an acoustic guitar for Christmas - this is like 100 hours of work

Does this sound like someone who would be unreasonable about a $7 dog shirt?

I feel that I try really hard to give her what she wants and make life relatively easy

As far as being unsupportive about the dog goes, I don't see anybody else waking up at 6:15 in the morning to take it for a walk before we all go to work

So in a nutshell:

I'm an asshole
I'm an asshole if I try to present my view of this whole thing to her
I'm an asshole if I apologize (for something I didn't do)

Possibly the most unnerving thing about all this is that she is an exceedingly honest person so she isn't making this up per say, she is either hearing it at whatever time I apparently said it, or it's coming in somewhere else.

Her last marriage was a very controlling one, and I'm scared of being painted like her ex and would rather just smooth the situation. However I have a real problem with backing down from this because I haven't said those mean things to her, and I don't feel that bringing up the "I know you had 12 rough years but...." would go over so well either.

I'm pissed off that she won't even consider possibly mishearing, something - especially when I work really hard to support her getting virtually whatever she wants. The jury is out and she is right right right. I can accept if one or more of my humerous grouchy moments didn't come across that way, and have apologized profusely if that was the case, but overall her statements are simply wrong, and inaccurate.

I've noticed a few times in recent months she has either adamantly denied saying something she said plain as day, or felt that I said something I very much didn't, and I am honestly starting to become worried because this sort of unreasonable behavior isn't really her.

Right now I'm more concerned about smoothing out this dog thing, but as I said it seems I'm in a damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation.

WTF?

Anyway I'm open to suggestions, comments ans what have you, thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy tirade

Alligator

NOT A FEMALE (just to clarify)
1. You make guitars. You rock. I only play them. I had to sell my only acoustic for bills, wanna trade some tf's for a hand made one?

2. Before this thread gets hijacked by younglings who have no idea what they're talking about and want an excuse to gripe about high school "relationships" (lol, high school....relationships)I thought I'd get a word in. That word is, I get ya.

Granted, I've been married just over a year now, but the "you ALWAYS do this" thing has come up several times. For some background, before I met her, I was always online gaming just for lack of something better to do. So when we first got married, she wanted to spend almost every night "sitting together". I'm a man of action, I get bored with stuff easily. So in her eyes, doing stuff on the comp was more important to her, and in my eyes, sitting there every night was boring. Not that I didn't enjoy the being together and all that, but every night I just couldn't handle. Long story short we got it all worked out, and I recently gave up doing any stuff, even freebies. ('cept for HMW, god bless it) And yet, anytime she wants to do something and I don't feel like it from being tired from work or whatever, it's "fine, just go play your stupid game". Replying that "I don't have any games anymore, I can't even log on" doesn't help.

So, my point is, that comes out whenever she's frustrated. After a few minutes of calming down, she'll realize what she said and everything's cool. So I'd guess that you're right, and her first hubby was a jerk like that, so you're getting the projection syndrome unfairly. Again, I'm no expert, but what I do when there's a reoccurring issue that needs discussion, is wait for a "good" time to bring it up. After a nice dinner and you've helped with the dishes, then saying "I need to talk to you about something". That way she's not coming in with you already being wrong, and you might get a fair chance at making your case. (apologetically of course ) Then maybe she'll open up about what's really bugging her. I only way this cause it worked for me, I haven't heard a snide gaming comment in a week, and she even helped me pick the colors on my HMW team. We were able to work out a compromise, where I still get to have some gaming fun, but it's a style that leaves more time for her. It was never about NOT spending time with her, but that was her initial perception, so that's what "I was doing" every time. Getting her default from "you hate the dog" to "you're really ok and trying to be a funny dad" is the key.

Ok, I probably sound like the classic idiot, rambling about stuff I don't really understand yet, but at least I found something to do since I woke up early. Good luck to ya!

wow get out of my life...

ok first off, my wife and I have had very similar arguments. The root of them is typically something beyond the superficial. I'm willing to bet that something else has been eating at her and the puppy clothes were just icing on the cake. Only you can guess what the real issue may be.

I was partially able to appease my wife by allowing her to dress the dogs on holidays. Halloween and Christmas are fun for her that way. The rest of the time I think its downright stupid to put a furry animal in clothing(not to mention uncomfortable for the dog.

My only advice is to try and sit down and talk to her and figure out if that's what is really bothering her, and if that is really the primary issue then just give a little and things may calm down.

Gurregu wrote:Before this thread gets hijacked by younglings who have no idea what they're talking about and want an excuse to gripe about high school "relationships" (lol, high school....relationships)I thought I'd get a word in. That word is, I get ya.

k...the undertone of this is that you don't think high school relationships are legit. My wife was in high school when we started dating, thus making it a "high school 'relationship'". Your experiences may have proven different however, it is only respectful that you refrain from knocking things you don't understand.

BigRobotAlligator wrote:We recently got a 7 month puppy!

My wife and two daughters love the idea of dressing it up.

No. just no. you weren't unreasonable. you were being a man. what kind of man wants his dog in clothes? *tim allen grunt* (then again, this is coming from a guy with sailor jupiter in his sig)

Hell it wouldn't bother me

You collect toys ...let them do that

Gutter Bunny wrote:

Gurregu wrote:Before this thread gets hijacked by younglings who have no idea what they're talking about and want an excuse to gripe about high school "relationships" (lol, high school....relationships)I thought I'd get a word in. That word is, I get ya.

k...the undertone of this is that you don't think high school relationships are legit. My wife was in high school when we started dating, thus making it a "high school 'relationship'". Your experiences may have proven different however, it is only respectful that you refrain from knocking things you don't understand.

I was referring more to the WB show wannabe crowd that makes drama out of "Bobby took Sarah to the dance but two weeks ago he was totally gonna take me! My life is over!" I knew a few people who actually stuck together out of high school, statistically speaking though high school couples, meaning both in high school(and therefor typically not having evolved enough emotional maturity...there are exceptions), are rarely a stick together thing once college, etc enters the picture. No offense intended to anyone that's actually been there done that, if you can be faithful from that young then you'll get more years together, which is great. I wish I'd met mine 10 years sooner, then I wouldn't have wasted so much time on stupid hobbies like collection tons of robot toys. (I totally would have still gotten them, although maybe a few less unicron trilogy figures that make me wonder what kind of crack I was on to buy them)

I'm not currently in a relationship, but I've seen this kind of stuff before.

How long have you two been together? It a possibility that she's somewhat bipolar and is just going through one of those phases that you're going to have no choice, but be along for the ride.

It's also highly possible that you've been doing to much to be the "world's greatest husband". It's nice to do things for the one you love, but you made it sound like you bend over backwards so she does'nt have to do anything. You should'nt be doing everything, but it's always nice to help relieve her workload. From my understanding, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners are working together.

I don't think the dog clothes are the real issue. I think she's just made it seem like the issue is the dog. You might want to take the time to talk with her about your relationship and what the two of you could do to make it become more balanced.

robofreak wrote:I'm not currently in a relationship, but I've seen this kind of stuff before.

How long have you two been together? It a possibility that she's somewhat bipolar and is just going through one of those phases that you're going to have no choice, but be along for the ride.

It's also highly possible that you've been doing to much to be the "world's greatest husband". It's nice to do things for the one you love, but you made it sound like you bend over backwards so she does'nt have to do anything. You should'nt be doing everything, but it's always nice to help relieve her workload. From my understanding, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners are working together.

I don't think the dog clothes are the real issue. I think she's just made it seem like the issue is the dog. You might want to take the time to talk with her about your relationship and what the two of you could do to make it become more balanced.

Those are some valid points for sure!

There is a history of depression in the family through at least on generation.

As for the balance, I agree that a good relationship absolutely does need to be balanced, that's a very good point. I do feel that she does her fair share in the house (with two kids there's more than enough lol), but I'm going to monitor how much I go overboard w/ it.

At this point I actually got an apology from her earlier for being so emotional/unreasonable & whatnot. She said she;s been feeling really stressed w/ money(notice I have my Takatoku Dark blue Whirl up for sale so I can get the big Christmas present this year), being sick, and the ratrace of the kids being back in school (which recently has been draining us - grade 7 is costly, wow)

So all goes well, I think the balance idea is good to monitor though, thank you

Thanks everyone for being so supportive, this must be what "when all are one" is about.

Wow, that was corny, even for an alligator.

Yeah, that was really corny, but only a group of collectors like us can appreciate it.

Money can be a sore spot for many. As long as you can keep a good bugdet though, everything should be fine moneywise. Although I don't remember 7th grade being expensive.

Glad we could help and hope you can find a good balance in your life.

Wish puppy was my biggest relationship prob..

Gurregu wrote:NOT A FEMALE (just to clarify)
1. You make guitars. You rock. I only play them. I had to sell my only acoustic for bills, wanna trade some tf's for a hand made one?

This is my first attempt so I don't think you'd want one from me quite yet LOL! I am lucky enough to have access to the woodshop in the school I work at so I've been working on this for the last few weeks. Not bad so far for the first attempt, but I am told that the body is the relatively easy part and the worst is yet to come,

I'll let you know how it turns out

Alligator

Sounds to me like you two need to talk. She has some baggage from her previous marraige that should have never been brought into yours and it is making you feel guilty about it. If you are married you should not be having to impress her with gifts. It is one thing to give someone something when you feel the urge go give, but another matter to give once a month, you sound like you are giving blood. I will bet the dog is not the root of the problem.
Don't try to be anyone you are not.

This is in no way a judgement on either of you, just an observation from what you have posted and everybody reacts differently to situations. I wish you luck. I am not a counselor and do not offer advice, only an opinion.

There are serious issues coming to a near boil, and they need to be dealt with before it does boil over, or worse, explodes.

Money, her first marriage, whatever is causing this animosity, this...infantile anger (and it is infantile. The dog? TFs? Really?) you need to find out what it is, asap.

If you don't, it will get worse and worse, and she'll have been like this for so long that she'll start to forget what started it, but because it works, she'll stick with it.

...you don't want that.

You two will be at each other's throats over the stupidest things, and you'll never know why this all started, and since you're a guy, you just have to know (we all do!) and it'll drive you nuts trying to figure out. (this thread is proof of that!)

This kind of craziness leads to marriage counseling, "Us time" vacations, all kinds of a ridiculous amounts of balancing acts and when it doesn't work, you feel defeated, when sometimes it is just the one person.

"It takes two to make a thing go right" true, but there are occasions when one can derail the train. And to be honest, she's the one derailing it.

My guess is, something that's happened (whether it's the dog, money, etc) is triggering a memory of what happened in her first marriage. Maybe she and her exhusband had one of the same battles and this was just too close to home for her. Even though she knows it's you, when the crap hits the fan, she can't differentiate between you and her ex because her mind and emotions are deeply, deeply scarred. (It can take years, sometimes even a lifetime to overcome that. Which is why a lot of relationships fail. Too many people bring baggage into the current one, but sometimes they just can't help it.)

It sounds more to me like she's on the defensive, rather than offensive. Even though she made the first strike, I feel as though it was pre-emptive, preparing for a rock 'em sock 'em that she's used to. When you pulled the rug out from under her by not doing what her ex did, you shook up her view of the world and she wasn't able to deal with it.

That's why it took her days to apologize to you. It took time for her to process it and realize "Whoops. He isn't (insert name here) I better go apologize, if for nothing else, it's the right thing to do." So, keep on doing what you're doing. Don't do what she's expecting and used to. Keep handling it as you have been, if she gets a steady dose of it, she'll come to realize that she needs to put the brakes on, and hopefully before it's too late.

Now...I'm not saying you should bend over backwards and let her walk all over you. No, by no means am I saying that. You need to have your say too. Just know how to pick your battles, because the big ones are the important ones, the little ones quickly fade away (if you let them!) and if not handled correctly, those little ones pile up into one massive mountain of confusion, anger, and indifference. If she pushes you hard enough, and you really need to get something off your chest, let the floodgates open and let it all go. Don't raise your voice, or say any of it in anger, unless you have to.

Some women are the type who will go "Oh boo hoo" when you show your emotions in a situation like this and try and neuter you, because it gives them the upper hand. If your wife pulls that and becomes a real prick about something, do the thing she'll hate the most, and will have the most impact.

Get up, say to her "You know what? I'm done. I listen to you cry, I listen to you whine, I pay for the damages your ex created, and I'm sick of it. I'm done." and then you grab your coat and walk out the door.

Get in the car, ignore her phone calls, and go away for the day to clear your head.

1.) You'll get a chance to let it out in private. (Scream at the top of your lungs if you want to.)

2.) She'll have a good dose of reality thrown in her face and this will give her time to process it.

3.) Walking away from a fight when she gets unmanageable won't ruin your marriage (though many would say that it will, they're wrong, they just don't have the balls to use fear tactics...which do work sometimes!) and you'd be quite surprised how different she'll be at the end of the day.

Also, if you do this, don't come home and say something like "Okay, now we can talk..." let it go. You walking out the door is enough of a message for her to take in for one day. If she brings it up, politely and nicely, if you feel you can address it, do so. If not, kindly say "It's been a long and difficult day. I just can't do this right now. I do love you though. I missed you all day. I've missed you for a while, it's nice to see you're back."

If she still won't let it go (and she strikes me as the type) then you might have to resort to drastic measures. And those are never fun, and usually don't work out for the best, but sometimes...there's nothing else you can do.

Good luck, you deserve a medal.

Awesome topic, and welcome to Hell Club.

Is she Bi-Polar? Did someone really ask that? OF COURSE SHE IS! She's a woman, and they all are. Oh sure most wont admit it, but behavior won't lie and actions speak louder blah blah blah.

The problem lies rooted in a fundimental flaw I've found in all woman. The difference between what you say, and what they 'think' you say.

You see, men are very literal and direct, we don't hide meanings and say one thing when we mean another. 9 times out of 10, when a guy says something. That's it, that's all that needed to be said, there's no ulteriour motives behind the words.

The problem is woman will hear what you say, then in their heads they start going, "but what did he MEAN??" Basically they look for stuff, when there really isn't anything there to find.

See what you said with good nature and kidding around, "The dog looks ridiculous. Ha Ha" She thought that what you were REALLY saying was, "Damn the dog looks F*****G retarded! What kind of moron dresses up a damn dog??!!"

See the difference? She thought you were attacking her and critisizing what she had done to the dog.

Now in reality we all know that you weren't doing that, but that's life with a woman. They're all nuts. It's just a matter of finding one who's insanity complements our own insanity. (*C'mon, we're full grown men collecting kids toys, hardly sane*)

I'm on girlfriend #50 something (*lost count*) and I honestly for a long time thought that numbers would make the difference. If I dated enough woman I'd find one that thought normally and rationally and used logic in her decision making. Sadly, the truth is that's never going to happen, because that's how guys think. I don't think any of us REALLY want a chick that thinks and acts like a guy, so that leaves 2 choices.

1.) Find a really, really HOT Transvestite, and never, ever take off the panties.

or

2.) Suck it up and live with it, cuz they're all nuts.

I think it was Autobot032 that made the comment about just getting up, saying a few things along the lines of, "I've had it" and just leaving and spending the day away. This is actually really good advice and I've done this numerous times with good results.

Sometimes they need that reality check that at the end of the day you're a MAN!! And you can only be expected to put up with so much before you lose your cool/blow your top. However, and this is the bitch of it. If you lose your cool and blow your top? You LOST!!! And she wins, because she got that reaction out of you.

Keep your cool, stay chilly, and go for a walk.

Give her some time to think about things. Men tend to think before they speak. Woman speak and then think about what they said.

Give her that time to think about what she said.

Cheers mate. And remember, we're all in the same boat. So slam a shot, smoke it if you got it, and stay chilly muh brutha!!


DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying 100% every single woman on earth is like this. Just in my experiences up and down the East Coast and now in the Mid-West, it's 100% of the woman I've met. I'm sure there's a woman out there that isn't like that at all. And I hope she hides well, cuz if the rest of the woman find her they'll kill her for making them look bad.

Malikon wrote:Is she Bi-Polar? Did someone really ask that? OF COURSE SHE IS! She's a woman, and they all are. Oh sure most wont admit it, but behavior won't lie and actions speak louder blah blah blah.

Speaking as a graduate student in psychology who has a known a number of people with bipolar disorder - it is not the same thing as PMSing or simply being fickle. I'd suggest you actually obtain something in the realm of an education in clinical psychology before applying DSM diagnoses to 50% of the human population.


Anyway, back on topic, this is a rather unconventional question, but have you sought advice from your kids?

I know that sounds strange, and involving kids in mommy and daddy's fights is generally a bad thing, but if you don't go talking to them to win them over to 'your side', but instead simply ask them if mommy is okay and what they think you could do to help, you might be surprised at the usefulness of the advice they'd give.

It's unusual and possibly risky, but it worked with my parents. Whenever they'd have an argument and things would sort of freeze over, I'd wind up playing mediator between them, getting each to understand where the other was coming from. Maybe I'm unique in that I was able to do that, tactfully play both sides of the fence, but I wouldn't like to believe that. Of course, I really stopped being able to do that when I hit mid to late adolescence and became too self absorbed to deal with their problems.

This approach mostly occurs to me because you thought some of her perceptions were coming from 'somewhere else'. The kids might have a clue there. I'd say her friends would be a good source too, but you really have to already be friends with them yourself, because otherwise all they'll do is blame you and tell her a slanted version of your attempt to seek their advice.

Caelus wrote:

Malikon wrote:Is she Bi-Polar? Did someone really ask that? OF COURSE SHE IS! She's a woman, and they all are. Oh sure most wont admit it, but behavior won't lie and actions speak louder blah blah blah.

Speaking as a graduate student in psychology who has a known a number of people with bipolar disorder - it is not the same thing as PMSing or simply being fickle. I'd suggest you actually obtain something in the realm of an education in clinical psychology before applying DSM diagnoses to 50% of the human population.

Whoa! I can't see you way up there on your graduate student podium. Why not come on down and talk like us reg'lar folk. *spits*

You're entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine based on life experience. How arrogant to assume other peoples education levels. I've been in well over 50 relationships with woman from every race, every education level, and every walk of life. From a professional 9-5 power suit wearing business woman, to a stripper. Guess what, they all act the same.

You have your piece of paper, I have experience. Are they all "clinically" Bi-Polar? Probably not. Do they act like it? Yes.

But I enjoyed reading your arrogance.

And here comes the derailment.

Nice, great job guys.

The OP asked for help, with a legitimate concern and the most you two can do is parade around your arrogance? Are you serious?

Malikon, obviously you have experience, but not the formal education to back anything. You cannot claim a woman is Bi-Polar simply because she acts like it.

Guess what? Men do too. Everyone has their Bi-Polar moments. It's a part of our personalities. When it's uncontrollable, then it's a mental illness.

Put it in check.

Caelus, I understand where you're coming from with the education, but seriously, you came across as full of hot air, and ego.

And humans generally learn by doing. So until you've actually experienced it first hand, all you have is the text book to rely on and sometimes...they just don't cut it in the real world.

And telling him to ask his kids? Terrible idea. They say to leave the kids out of it for a reason, because either parent can and will pollute their minds. A therapist is better suited to ask the children those kind of questions because he or she will be neutral. It's hard enough when children have to pick sides in anything, but especially difficult when it comes to their parents.

I'm really surprised by the both of you, you're both better than that (I'd hope), so act like it.

Oh and I was engaged to a woman with Bi-Polar disorder. She's nothing like this guy's wife. He has a walk in the park compared to what I went through. She has emotional scars from her previous marriage, those can be addressed and dealt with. Bi-Polar disorder takes a lot more work than just walking out the door for a day, or going to counseling.

Autobot032 wrote:Caelus, I understand where you're coming from with the education, but seriously, you came across as full of hot air, and ego.

And humans generally learn by doing. So until you've actually experienced it first hand, all you have is the text book to rely on and sometimes...they just don't cut it in the real world.

Wow, how arrogant of you to make that assumption. Did it occur to you it's possible I simply prefer not to discuss my personal experiences on a public forum? Trust me when I say I have more than academic knowledge of bipolar disorder.

Also trust me when I say I'm offended by people blanketly diminutizing an entire group (women) by sayiing they all have a psychological disorder, and by diminishing the seriousness of said disorder by throwing it around as a joke.

Am I egotistical? If believing that having dealt with a psychological disorder first hand and having pursued advanced study in psychology makes me more knowledgeable on the topic than someone who claims the basis for their hot-air is fifty failed romantic relationships makes me egotistical, then I suppose I am.

Or maybe he's just an insensitive ass that doesn't grasp the gravity of the issue because he doesn't know what he's talking about.


As to the kids thing - that's fair, I was only talking from personal experience on that one, you know, the thing you said you have to have to understand something?

Caelus wrote:

Autobot032 wrote:Caelus, I understand where you're coming from with the education, but seriously, you came across as full of hot air, and ego.

And humans generally learn by doing. So until you've actually experienced it first hand, all you have is the text book to rely on and sometimes...they just don't cut it in the real world.

Wow, how arrogant of you to make that assumption. Did it occur to you it's possible I simply prefer not to discuss my personal experiences on a public forum? Trust me when I say I have more than academic knowledge of bipolar disorder.

I never said you had to divulge your personal experiences. Not sure why you decided to take that and run with it, but whatever.

Caelus wrote:Also trust me when I say I'm offended by people blanketly diminutizing an entire group (women) by sayiing they all have a psychological disorder, and by diminishing the seriousness of said disorder by throwing it around as a joke.

I too thought it was a careless comment, which is why I mentioned that I dated a woman with the disorder and recognize that the wife in question is not exhibiting the signs of it. I also have respect for women as a whole. You also have to realize that Malikon is apparently not the best person to talk with about this. 50 relationships? There's a reason why 2-50 didn't work. (no offense, but he did put himself on the chopping block with that one.) But I'm not going to go any further into that, because it seems as though we're ganging up on him and that's unfair. Especially when a moderator is involved.

Caelus wrote:Am I egotistical? If believing that having dealt with a psychological disorder first hand and having pursued advanced study in psychology makes me more knowledgeable on the topic than someone who claims the basis for their hot-air is fifty failed romantic relationships makes me egotistical, then I suppose I am.

But you didn't state it as "Look, here's why I know what I know." beyond a little blurb about the education. It came across as "Listen, you jackass, I know what I know because of this, and you're an idiot, chump."

Caelus wrote:Or maybe he's just an insensitive ass that doesn't grasp the gravity of the issue because he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Fair enough. However, you *are* a moderator and people look to you and your fellow mods and admins as a source of reliability and common sense. Not someone who will make a personal jab because he can. That's what makes you different from posters like Malikon, or it should.

Caelus wrote:As to the kids thing - that's fair, I was only talking from personal experience on that one, you know, the thing you said you have to have to understand something?

And it worked for you, in your personal experience. It doesn't always work for another, as it did for you. Having learned that from personal experience, I'd imagine you'd be more understanding.

Guess I was wrong.

*Text Deleted*

Of course, I realize now that I have been made a fool, as making two other posters get into a big nasty fight is probably what Melmak wanted.

If only trolls did die on exposure to sunlight.

Truce, A32?

Wow, you guys have been quite busy.

Well for one, like most of my posts, there's humor in it.

Was I saying that as a qualified psychiatrist I can definitively say that ALL woman are clinically bi-polar?

No, I was making a bit of a joke, one that was clearly lost on you.

All I said was in my experiences I've noted that they all ACT like they do.

But anyway......

btw, I really enjoy that you both jumped to conclusions about my education level. Unless you were specifically saying that I don't have a psychiatric degree (which I don't) that was a pretty large assumption. Especially since I've gotten a lot more education then most people are lucky to get. Not to mention I'm certified in everything from Auto Mechanics, to Plumbing, to Microcomputers, and I've taught college classes in Music Theory and in Art.

But I digress......

oh yeah, btw the reason I've had so many relationships is because most of my life has been on the move. I've lived in almost half of the states in this country. And being a guitarist just makes it easy to meet a lot of woman. Don't hate.

To the OP, good luck mate. Sorry my tongue in cheek posting has caused so much drama in your thread.

Though you gotta admit, it's really fun watching people take themselves so seriously sometimes.

BigRobotAlligator wrote:We recently got a 7 month puppy!

My wife and two daughters love the idea of dressing it up.

Maybe she didn't see the humorus grumpy act as you said it was an act. That is where she feels you have been lying this whole time. you lost her trust. I think the best that you can do is buy the doggie a sweater with a long note of apology both written and verbal and have a long talk about this and admit your cute plan failed and did the oppasite of what you had intended. Then try to relearn her trust.

Some dogs do need sweaters in cold weather because some breeds are so small that they get cold too quickly. My Grandama's yorkie dog Muffins wears a sweater at home now that it's becoming fall in Michigan. Muffins in winter will don a cute double breasted button down coat when she leaves the house. I think dressing Muffins up is therapudic because she has another child to take care of and its kinda a need of hers to take care of something.

Dogs have therapudic properties and the dressing the dog up was possably a way for her to bond with her children and there you are being mean and degrading in her eyes about it and not joining in and putting a jersy on the dog for game day. Or getting a Doggie outfit that looks like yoda for halloween. Or making a dog house that looks like the ark.

I don't think dogs know what it is they are wearing. Tf they did they would complain and be picky about thier own collars. I buy for my cats differnt collars that coinside with their names. For example Vangogh has a sun and moon patterned collar with a gold circled tag. Salem is a black cat that has a purple collar with a purple heart shaped tag. But i never hear Salem come up and say "Hey um not to sound ungreatful or anything. But yea I'm a black cat and I don't like with the Witch trials slash halloween label you gave me. My people been percsacuded for it. So I kinda would like to be called something else like Alan and wear a collar that doesn't insult my heritage."

Again I would just buy the doggie a good outfit from a nice store or offer to go doggie shopping to say you were sorry for lying and for being a kill joy about it. Also to say it frequntly you lost her trust you gotta gain it back.

Caelus wrote:Of course, I realize now that I have been made a fool, as making two other posters get into a big nasty fight is probably what Melmak wanted.

If only trolls did die on exposure to sunlight.

Truce, A32?

Truce.

I need to apologize to all involved.

To the OP, I shouldn't have become embroiled in the derailment, and I apologize. For what it's worth, I stick to the advice I gave you and I hope even a little bit of it was some help to you.

To Malikon, I don't know your personal life, it's none of my business and I'll just shut up about it. (Yes, I received your PM btw.)

To Caelus, I think we both let this get the best of us when cooler heads should've prevailed. that's part of the human condition, unfortunately. Still, I didn't have to be so...abrasive in my posts. That wasn't necessary.

aww, big happy TF hug.

*clang*

Damn dude your wings are caught in my,....nevermind.

I was never angry, I tried to make the OP laugh, seemed like he could use a laugh. I was annoyed that it was assumed because of my humor that I must be an uneducated idiot, but that was your assumption to make. I try not to make that particular assumption since I've met people that upon first meeting you might think are pretty stupid, and then they surprise the hell out of you by being brilliant. Waving degrees around just reeks of insecurity, which is why I don't mention my education. Life's interesting like that.

Peace and truce all around. We're all here as brothers and sisters in the TF fandom. Inhouse fighting and insults from mods seems awfully childish, I mean we're Men here to discuss our love of childrens toys, so.......

aw crap that blew my argument.

no hard feelings on my end. And you know, by now the OP's probably bought the dog a freaking tuxedo and him and the little lady are getting along just fine.

Lifes interesting like that, too.