The Energon Pub

once again i got to thinking (which usually leads to a new thread)...
how does your spouse handle your hobby? when you first met, what was their reaction to your toy collection?

my girlfriend of three years has been stupidly supportive of my hobbies. and i say stupidly because theres times when she really shouldnt have put up with it . but luckily she values my happiness more than space in our house, and even though she doesnt complain i try to meet her halfway now and support whatever shes interested in. our home is still dominated by my stuff unfortunately, but thats mainly due to two unused rooms that need some fixing/renovating.

when we first met, we dated a few times before she saw my house. i made it very clear i was a nerd of epic proportions, to avoid a running away screaming scene. but she was too cool for school, probably because at heart shes a pretty big nerd too.

so! whats the other half think of your hobby?

My wife is great with it. She has an epic collection of Snoopy stuff. We each have a room in the house dedicated to our collections. As long as the collection doesn't start creeping into other parts of the house, we are good!

She was completely aware of my collecting when we started dating, but the collection was pretty small at the time. I really didn't have the money before then to have a big collection. Since then I purchased plenty of stuff, she got me stuff as gifts, and helped me curate the collection as needed.

She hates it!

Oh wait, I am the wife...

Actually, hubby would have a huge collection of Star Wars stuff if we had the money, right now all his energy and money is going into pirate stuff (he's part of a reenactment group). So he is hardly one to complain. But we have a compromise of space. He has a room of his own and I have the attic (finished attic) that is all mine (though is primarily for my home business, it's also where I put my collections). The rest of the house is public space and not for toys, well, not for toys we want the kids to leave alone.

We're lucky, though, we have plenty of space. We spent months looking for a house that was big enough.

I just started collecting more toys again. Unfortunately the kids found out and no Transformer is safe in the attic until the novelty wears off. My 4 year old has a radar for Transformers and is clever enough to devise ways to get up to the shelf to get them.

My wife is sweet about it. I am blessed.

ctrlFrequency wrote:She hates it!

Oh wait, I am the wife...

Actually, hubby would have a huge collection of Star Wars stuff if we had the money, right now all his energy and money is going into pirate stuff (he's part of a reenactment group). So he is hardly one to complain. But we have a compromise of space. He has a room of his own and I have the attic (finished attic) that is all mine (though is primarily for my home business, it's also where I put my collections). The rest of the house is public space and not for toys, well, not for toys we want the kids to leave alone.

We're lucky, though, we have plenty of space. We spent months looking for a house that was big enough.

I just started collecting more toys again. Unfortunately the kids found out and no Transformer is safe in the attic until the novelty wears off. My 4 year old has a radar for Transformers and is clever enough to devise ways to get up to the shelf to get them.

Your husband is lucky!

My wife really hates my collection, mainly because she see's it as a waste of money. Luckily for me my two boys both love TF's, so I can kinda get away with it.

At first my gf thought it was very neat. Now she thinks the amount of money I spend is silly because they are "toys".

All in all she's cool with the robots. I caught her trying to transform a classics seeker once lol. She didn't have much luck.

Ginrai Minor wrote:At first my gf thought it was very neat. Now she thinks the amount of money I spend is silly because they are "toys".

All in all she's cool with the robots. I caught her trying to transform a classics seeker once lol. She didn't have much luck.

dunno why, but in the past month or so my gf's doing the same. it takes her a little time, but theres no instructions lying around and she keeps amping up the difficulty. she actually did the ROTF bludgeon mold by herself, which was the hardest one i could find without busting open some boxes.

I started collecting after I met my wife, and she's okay with it. We live with my parents right now, saving up for a mortgage, so we don't have a lot of room. My computer desk and the cabinet above our TV unit is full of TF figures I've been collecting, but I've had to put a lot away in storage in the garage and pick and choose who I want out on display.

She's okay with it, as she collects figures herself. Half of the cabinet above the TV is full of her figures from Anime and video games, so she's cool with it. The only issue we've had is that she's asked me a couple of times to wait until we get our own place, because of our lack of space, but it's bloody hard to hold back. She can also be a bit of a financial worrier and doesn't want me to spend too much in case one day it comes back to bite us in the arse. I've bargained that, as long as I put £100 into our savings every month, I'm free to blow the rest of my disposable income on whatever I want.

Syn_13 wrote: I've bargained that, as long as I put £100 into our savings every month, I'm free to blow the rest of my disposable income on whatever I want.

Having just bought a house 5 months ago, no such thing as disposable income (though it's completely worth it to own our own home)

ctrlFrequency wrote:

Syn_13 wrote: I've bargained that, as long as I put £100 into our savings every month, I'm free to blow the rest of my disposable income on whatever I want.

Having just bought a house 5 months ago, no such thing as disposable income (though it's completely worth it to own our own home)

owning a home with kids maybe. but just home-owning, i have plenty of money to dispose of

but that does bring me to a point. i work a decent paying job, and can afford life as it comes, and then some. but to afford the crazy buying ive been doing (at least the last year) a lot of overtime. which i didnt really think much about besides "wooo money!" and whered the money go primarily? the collection. but after a while of that, sandra (gf) finally voiced that it was like i was choosing my collection over her. which i was, but not in any conscious level. since that talk ive cut my OT almost in half so we can have more time together.

ahhh relationships. forever learning.

shajaki wrote:

ctrlFrequency wrote:

Syn_13 wrote:
but that does bring me to a point. i work a decent paying job, and can afford life as it comes, and then some. but to afford the crazy buying ive been doing (at least the last year) a lot of overtime. which i didnt really think much about besides "wooo money!" and whered the money go primarily? the collection. but after a while of that, sandra (gf) finally voiced that it was like i was choosing my collection over her. which i was, but not in any conscious level. since that talk ive cut my OT almost in half so we can have more time together.

ahhh relationships. forever learning.

Never ever let your hobbies interfere with your significant other. It's easy to do... as I understand (it's the husband that lets his hobbies interfere), but it can cause a relation to be destroyed beyond repair.

ctrlFrequency wrote:

shajaki wrote:

ctrlFrequency wrote:

Syn_13 wrote:
but that does bring me to a point. i work a decent paying job, and can afford life as it comes, and then some. but to afford the crazy buying ive been doing (at least the last year) a lot of overtime. which i didnt really think much about besides "wooo money!" and whered the money go primarily? the collection. but after a while of that, sandra (gf) finally voiced that it was like i was choosing my collection over her. which i was, but not in any conscious level. since that talk ive cut my OT almost in half so we can have more time together.

ahhh relationships. forever learning.

Never ever let your hobbies interfere with your significant other. It's easy to do... as I understand (it's the husband that lets his hobbies interfere), but it can cause a relation to be destroyed beyond repair.

There was a thread about allowing your hobby to take control of your life. Apparently it happens a lot. I can't imagine having a hobby that controlled all facets of life, but some people get sucked in.

when I was married, the rule was if the bills got paid first, money could go to the hobby account. and if I valued it and could keep it dusted, stuff could be out on display. I'm divorced now but the collection has little to do with that. My ex is my roommate, and she had a pretty pleased reaction to my new ikea shelf for my classics/neo G1

ctrlFrequency wrote:Never ever let your hobbies interfere with your significant other. It's easy to do... as I understand (it's the husband that lets his hobbies interfere), but it can cause a relation to be destroyed beyond repair.

like i said, it wasnt on any conscious level. it was a big issue, but not a relatioship ending argument. we're pretty level headed and neither of uswould let anything as silly as my toys jeopardize things.

my wife is fantastic about my collection....all my different collections
she has even bough me some expensive peaces over the years.
she only complains when I dont dust them enough.

My girlfriend actually was fascinated by it when I told her about the collection. Later, when I actually showed it to her, her eyes got so wide when she saw how many I had. She now is very used to it coming up in conversation and does have favorites (Waspinator, it was pretty funny the day she discovered the flapping wing gimmick ) and the ones where she asks why I bothered to get (Generations Tankor and AoE Lockdown ). Plus, she collects Coca-Cola products, so collections aren't too outside the norm for her.

My wife is wonderful about my hobby. She's very supportive and to some degree, genuinely interested in what and why I do all this.

I actually began collecting again right after we started dating so, it's never really been an issue with introducing her to it all.

I mean...you should see some of the **** I buy. No complaints from her, just support.

I'm very lucky.

I told my wife about my collection as soon as we started dating. I didn't want to hide it like I was ashamed of it, and I saw it as a test of sorts: if she's cool with it, she's a keeper. If not, I won't waste my time with her.

She was impressed with how open I was about it. She said "my brother-in-law didn't tell my sister about his D&D hobby until they'd been dating for a year!" When people ask us about how we met, she always likes to tell them that story, and how impressed she was that I just owned up to it and wasn't ashamed of it.

I spend quite a bit of money on TFs (more than I should, probably), but we have an understanding: She doesn't complain about me buying TFs, and I don't complain about all the clothes she buys. (She buys a LOT of clothes, and collects sneakers. It's basically her hobby.) Plus, in addition to our shared bank accounts, we each keep a separate personal account for our "hobbies" so we don't argue about how much we're spending.

When I first met my wife I had a pretty humble collection of mostly Movie 1 figures. Now I am some where over 200... Which in our first house was in a small closet that was about to burst out of... In my new house I have a rather large space above the garage... Of which we call (The Necessary Room.)

She appreciates that it is something I enjoy, and when out shopping will even FaceTime me to see if there is any figures I need. Another part that she is appreciating more is that I have started a startup business for creating add-ons and replacement pieces. So majority of the stuff we buy now is ahem Tax-deductible...

I think honestly though that any "non-fan" wife/husband (not being gender specific.) If they love you they will appreciate it, but I know she does not care for it even still. Which is why I am always trying to be more specific about what I collect and what I do not.

KnightAero wrote:She appreciates that it is something I enjoy, and when out shopping will even FaceTime me to see if there is any figures I need. Another part that she is appreciating more is that I have started a startup business for creating add-ons and replacement pieces. So majority of the stuff we buy now is ahem Tax-deductible...

sandra is the same way with me. only she doesnt hunt for me unless i ask her and im really specific. she says "you have so much that i dont know what im looking for!"

and guyincognito, i think you raise a very important point: for those of you out there who are still single and looking, dont hide your nerd'ism. i was the same way with sandra, in that i flat out warned her. not to try and scare her off, but just so that she was well informed that hey, i like toys and comics and theyre a big part of who i am. which she was more than OK with. things that you hide could be construed as shame, and you shouldnt be ashamed of who you are.

shajaki wrote: "you have so much that i dont know what im looking for!"

Oh man have I heard that before! She gets really mad when trying to buy me birthday presents... This year happened to fall in-between waves... So needless to say there was not really anything that was not already in my collection.

I suppose I should point her to some of these 3rd party ones or even the Master Pieces...

KnightAero wrote:

shajaki wrote: "you have so much that i dont know what im looking for!"

Oh man have I heard that before! She gets really mad when trying to buy me birthday presents... This year happened to fall in-between waves... So needless to say there was not really anything that was not already in my collection.

I suppose I should point her to some of these 3rd party ones or even the Master Pieces...

ha! yeah christmas/birthdays are a struggle for her. ive suggested that she just take a good look at my ebay watchlist and pick some things (theres so much there that id likely not notice) but doesnt want to for some reason. my presents are usually devoid of transformers or comic things.

shajaki wrote:

KnightAero wrote:She appreciates that it is something I enjoy, and when out shopping will even FaceTime me to see if there is any figures I need. Another part that she is appreciating more is that I have started a startup business for creating add-ons and replacement pieces. So majority of the stuff we buy now is ahem Tax-deductible...

sandra is the same way with me. only she doesnt hunt for me unless i ask her and im really specific. she says "you have so much that i dont know what im looking for!"

and guyincognito, i think you raise a very important point: for those of you out there who are still single and looking, dont hide your nerd'ism. i was the same way with sandra, in that i flat out warned her. not to try and scare her off, but just so that she was well informed that hey, i like toys and comics and theyre a big part of who i am. which she was more than OK with. things that you hide could be construed as shame, and you shouldnt be ashamed of who you are.

I second the getting the nerdism out in the open right in the beginning. Hubby and I had no choice, we met at a Ren Faire. We were both street actors. So we both knew each other's level of geek right away. Though he told me a couple weeks ago he had no idea I was so into the Transformers... which surprised me, I told him how much I loved them when we met. 16 years later he's finally grasping it? (Okay, I just started collecting for myself this year, previously it was just buying toys for the boys)

My wife is good about knowing what toys I am looking for. Usually it's because I've complained that I can't find them. She will try to surprise me from time to time, but usually she just calls me when she is in the toy aisle. It's usually safer that way! I do appreciate that she tries!