I'm gonna need help dealing with this..big time....

Alright, first off, I ask no-one give me **** about this being in the wrong spot. I realize that. But my friends (or those I consider which) are the ones who post here.
Mods, I ask you find deepest tolerance of this, and thank you if you can. I realize I deserve no special exception.
Anyhow, about 3 weeks ago, my Great Grandfather was put into the Hospital witha heart attack. The first week, he was close to death, but all of a sudden he sprang back, and then he was almost released home, until yesterday.
Another attack, literally from nowhere, put him back into intensive care, and today, his body finally let out. I know, you are possibly tinking, "Man up Sherade, it's only natural to die.." and, I agree 100% with you.
After all, he died of natural causes, and he had lived longer than most could dream, being nearly 92 years old.
But, it isn't the death that is getting me, it's something else. Today, we went to see him, before he passed, and in my ass-faced arrogance, I couldn't bear to see him in such a state, and left to the waiting room within 5 minutes. I stayed until we left, so I didn't get to talk to him. I regret that, because now I'll never have the chance to say good-bye. All I can hope is that some miracle brings him back.
But wishing isn't helping, not a bit. Maybe longenoughg to say bye. If there is a God, maybe he's listening.
And, with that, I ask support of you, and thank all of you for reading.
IU suppose the only thing even distanlty elated to TF's is that I may be gone for a while, so I wanted to let you all know.
So, that's it, and again, thanks.
Mods, I ask you find deepest tolerance of this, and thank you if you can. I realize I deserve no special exception.
Anyhow, about 3 weeks ago, my Great Grandfather was put into the Hospital witha heart attack. The first week, he was close to death, but all of a sudden he sprang back, and then he was almost released home, until yesterday.
Another attack, literally from nowhere, put him back into intensive care, and today, his body finally let out. I know, you are possibly tinking, "Man up Sherade, it's only natural to die.." and, I agree 100% with you.
After all, he died of natural causes, and he had lived longer than most could dream, being nearly 92 years old.
But, it isn't the death that is getting me, it's something else. Today, we went to see him, before he passed, and in my ass-faced arrogance, I couldn't bear to see him in such a state, and left to the waiting room within 5 minutes. I stayed until we left, so I didn't get to talk to him. I regret that, because now I'll never have the chance to say good-bye. All I can hope is that some miracle brings him back.
But wishing isn't helping, not a bit. Maybe longenoughg to say bye. If there is a God, maybe he's listening.
And, with that, I ask support of you, and thank all of you for reading.
IU suppose the only thing even distanlty elated to TF's is that I may be gone for a while, so I wanted to let you all know.
So, that's it, and again, thanks.