The Energon Pub

I got this idea from a book on funny ads. Pretty much works like this. Post humourous ads that you'd think G1 characters would put on a message board. Here's some ideas to get the ball rolling.

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Attention: Due to reckless actions by a certain two people, Jack@$$ the movie will be banned from movie night until further notice.

Thank you,
Rachet
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Look guys,

It's not funny anymore. Just give my inflateable femme back. You can leave her in the recroom, OK?
Thanks,
Anon.

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Attention Hot Rod, Springer & Chromedome,

Just because my restraining order on you guys expires in a week doesn't mean i'll go out with you guys, OK?

Thanks,
Arcee
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Attention: The above anouncemnt can be ignored.
-Anon
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Me Slag selling good target practice dummy. Looks like girl. Needs air. See me Slag in Dinobot quarters.

Selling former Bruticus and team mates parts, damaged but still usable for kitbashing..

-Swindle-

NOTICE

Due to the serious injurys of Hot Rod, Springer, and Chromedome, relationships between co-workers are now illegal.

Thank you,
Prime
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Anouncement: Come on down to see my new invention! It's a rocket powered catapult, which is a major improvement over the original. Guarenteed to chuck a projectile over 1 megamile! And, best of all, it's powered by not one, but 4, massive rockets! Absolutely nothing will go wrong! Note: Huffer is not allowed to attend.

Can't wait to see you there!
-Wheeljack.

NOTICE

The science lab is off limits (again) after yesterday's tragic catapult accident. It should be back up once we find the rest of Huffer. Do not, repeat, DO NOT go near until the Haz-Mat team gives clearance.

-Prime.

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Message to Dinobots:
STOP. You know what I'm talking about, so cut it out dammit.


-Bumblebee.

I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU NOW!


-Ultra Magnus
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I can't fight in war I am a scientist...but good luck anyways

-Skyfire
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you guys relize energon budgets are low and
well since you've decided to strike against me you'll get your energon soon after the Transformer movie

-Prime (suspect nothing evil) this post will self destruct in ten seconds
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I TOLD YOU ALL I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU! WHY IS IT THAT ARCEE DANIEL AND WHAT'S HIS FACE SPRINGER WANT ME TO DEAL WITH THE OTHER PEOPLES? EVEN IF I HAVE THE MASTRIX I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOU!

love
-Ultra Magnus
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yes we all know the death of well almost every TF in the series is tragic and I was brought back to life but here is that raise of energon I promised...It's in the control room

-Prime

also why hasn't the other post self destructed yet? WheelJack I thought I told you too...oh wait he died...Ooo awkward...
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I'd like to inform all Autobot personel that a Winnebego is a cool alt mode, and anyone who disagrees is guilty of treason- Roddimus Prime
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You can really stop with the Spock jokes now, seriously-Shockwave
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JOB OFFER: Need someone willing to invent and construct five jet-compatible time anomaly prevention devices. Contact Silverbolt if interested.

ATTENTION:

Despite the recent death of Optimus Prime, we are not currently accepting job applications for the position of Prime. Optimus is expected to return after lunch. Thank you.

--Ratchet

OK, I've finally goten the secret santa mess all sorted out. here are some rules for next year:

-NO WEAPONS. Especially if your present is for Blades or the Dinobots.

-Do not give Red Alert an alarm clock, or anything else that ticks.

-Sideswipe cannot have Sunstreaker as a recipent, and vice versa.

-No homemade presents

-THAT MEANS YOU, WHEELJACK!

Thanks,

Prime

MISSING!

-A grey trailer which can open up into a portable command center. Has Autobot insignia on the sides.

-Reward of 1,000,000 Energon cubes will be given.


-If you have seen or have leads on the whereabouts of this trailer, please contact Optimus Prime at The Ark.

Grimlock am want sell large grey caravan

Too small!

ATTENTION DECEPTICONS: I may only have one eye but I do have a cannon arm and I WILL BLAST YOUR HEAD OFF IF I SEE YOU PULL A PRANK ON ME!

thank you,
Shockwave

mISSING
A CAT BOT GOES BY THE NAME RAVAGE.
REWARD OF 400 ENERGON CUBES!!!
IF FOUND DROP HIMOFF AT DECEPTACON BASE!
Thanks Soundwave

For Sale [*Brawn] [*Ratchet] [*Prowl] [*Ironhide] [*Windcharger] [*Wheeljack] And much much more! Great for spare parts! Don't miss this one folks come on down to WRECK GARS house of junk! Also just recently acquired decepticon cat bot!! Hurry and get yours today!!

Given yesterday's fiasco, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROYYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEENNKINSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" is not an acceptable battle cry.

Thanks,

Prowl.

Defcon! wrote:For Sale [*Brawn] [*Ratchet] [*Prowl] [*Ironhide] [*Windcharger] [*Wheeljack] And much much more! Great for spare parts! Don't miss this one folks come on down to WRECK GARS house of junk! Also just recently acquired decepticon cat bot!! Hurry and get yours today!!

ATTENTION
IF ANYONE HAS STOLEN AND THINKING ABOUT SELLING MY CAT I'LL..............WONT TALK TO YOU EVER OR WONT BE A DJ AT YOUR PARTIES.
****************************************************************************
ATTENTION
AVAILABLE DJ TO ANY PARTY YOU WISH
EXEPT WRECK GARS.

Room for Rent:

Spacious dwelling environment with satellite TV hook ups, and super speedy internet. Good neighborhood, low taxes, friendly neighbors.

*Note* Dwelling occasionally becomes head of giant robot city.

Serious applicants only. No pets.

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Amendment:

After previous tenant, must also stipulate no small children. Thank you.

NOTICE
WHOME EVER SPRAY PAINTED ME POWDER BLUE WILL PAY FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!
YOUR PAL FRENZY

LOL these are funny.

TO THE ATTENTION OF ALL HUMANS VISITING THE ARC:
After last weeks fiasco, ALL Humans are now forbidden from bringing back to base any lost cassette decks found in the desert.

Especially if they have the Decepticon logo on the front!

Optimus

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If Slingshot found, make a sound
5$ reward, leave note on the board.

Wheelie

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Attention Autobots,
Notice about cassette decks inferior, disregard.
Additional: Small metallic guns superior, bring all back to base.

PRIME

Do we *have* to find Slingshot? The Ark's so much peaceful and pleasant without him mouthing off all the time. Good riddance!

...oh, wait, wrong type of slingshot. My bad. *snicker*

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Whoever wrote that is SO going to get a pounding, as soon as I find you, just you wait. You'll be sorry you ever crossed an Aerialbot!

Note to all staff:
There is a new recreational class being held on Tuesday evenings, entitled "Taking care of the new protoform". This weekly class covers everything from looking after your femmebot in her time of need to naming the protoform sensibly. We don't want any repeats of the "Erector" incident.

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While we're on the subject of classes, would someone start a class which thoroughly explains how to open that damn Matrix?
Thanks in advance
Magnus.

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LOST TAPE DECK FOUND IN DESERT:
Please contact Spike Witwicky if you've lost one recently.
Contains one red cassette and sheets of paper containing plans for global domination.

I'll stab at it:

You give me 50 Cent CD today,
Tomorrow I give you pay, pay ,pay!

Wheelie
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Wanted:
More time to deal with things, will pay energon.
See Ultra Magnus
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ifanyonefindsarollofducttapepleaseletmeknowasitisimportanttomyhealththanks.
Blurr.
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For Sale:
Blue Tape deck, looks great! Features one tape and cool purple logo.
See Spike.


I'm just tired tonight, nothing good for now......

Bought, and now Selling on Ebay:
Item Description: One 1984 Blue Cassette Player that comes with several tapes. When I bought it it had a interesting stylized metallic purple emblem on it, must have been applied by the original owner. It is kind of warm to the touch, and hums. Must have been some newfangled technology back then. Amaze your friends!

It still plays! It is in incredable shape, as it it never was used. It plays well, and the only tapes I have played on it were Metallica, Michael Jackson, and recorded Pink songs from the radio.

Reasons for selling: It gives me the heebee jeebees, it feels as if it were alive. Kind of like a real life Christine, but a radio instead of a car. I know I am being stupid, but I have been having weird dreams since I got it. But don't let that worry you, I am probably being paranoid, LOL!

Item history:
Bought from a guy named Spike Witwicky.

Anyway, anxious to sell! $45.90
Accepts paypal
Duck184

WANTED
megatron and wheelie
reward 1000 energon cubes, reward for wheelie 100000000 energon cubes!