The Energon Pub

ok now this is a long story but short and sweet my girl friend says im obsessed with transformers and needs help. i say im a fan. i have over 10 transformers shirts, i have 397 transformer toys. she says is not right for a 17 year old to have children's toys. i say other wise. does anyone else have issues like this with a girl friend/wife? we have had so many fights about this. and im not giving up my favorite hobby for anyone!

Doubledealer25 wrote:ok now this is a long story but short and sweet my girl friend says im obsessed with transformers and needs help. i say im a fan. i have over 10 transformers shirts, i have 397 transformer toys. she says is not right for a 17 year old to have children's toys. i say other wise. does anyone else have issues like this with a girl friend/wife? we have had so many fights about this. and im not giving up my favorite hobby for anyone!

You should ask her why she does not approve of your hobby. Is it limited to "you are growing up, so leave toys behind", or is there something deeper? Maybe she hasn't told you the real reason why this upsets her.

I had a girlfriend a few years ago who was upset with me because any extra money I had, I would spend on TFs or comics. Back then, I had a car note, house note, utilities to pay, groceries, etc... why couldn't I spend money on my hobbies? There were underlying issues to this, and I probably could only spend about $100/month total due to having responsibilities so it's not like I was spending obscene amounts. She was just upset I wasn't spending that on her.

Anyways... just find out what the real reason is that causes your fights, and work from there. But if it's "grow up" and limited to owning toys, you're going to have to choose between your hobby and your girl. Stay true to yourself, for what it's worth. And good luck!

she says its not normal. and if she fights with me im not buying her anything. period.

Man, you're 17. You're not even an adult yet.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

You'll find a woman, a real woman, who will accept you for who you are, as you are. Until then, don't settle to be with someone who wants to change you.

Be who you are going into the relationship and make sure your significant other knows everything about you beforehand, that way she can't whine and complain about it later. If she does, then she hasn't accepted you and it's time to move on.

People would say it's silly of me to give advice saying to move on over some toys. Well, they're wrong. It's not the toys, it's never been about the toys. It's an underlying problem that she either hasn't figured out yet and the toys are the only excuse she has, or she does know what it is and she's working her way up to it.

If you're having problems now, you'll have them forever. Today it's TransFormers, tomorrow it's...God only knows. You change this, it'll be peaceful for a while. What will it be next? How drastic will it be? See where I'm going with this? Trust me, it can get ugly.

Be no one but who you are now. Be and do what makes you happy. If a person truly cares for you, she'll love you as is. If she doesn't, her loss.

And again, you're only 17. Don't go changing for her, not when your life hasn't even really begun yet. And if you do change now, it could be a lifetime of servitude and jumping through hoops. Don't do that to yourself. Tell her off. Stand up.

Fight back.

i will fight back. and no, its not all about the toys. its the fun of it all.

Would she rather have you spend your extra cash on drugs? Ask her that.

I'm singe currently, but once I start dating again, I'm going to work to find someone that can handle my nerd tendencies.

I know I'm obsessed and I wear that label proudly. I can't think of a single thing that defines my life more than Transformers. They want to change us, make us like them. I say we're more normal than those people who act like society defines them. Who think that you can't have fun because it's not "mature", what is maturity? Another label designed by society to keep people down and have them converted.

Ah, Grasshopper...you have much to learn. (Do you get the reference, or am I just showing my age?)

You're going to learn a few lessons about life as you start getting older. You'll have plenty of relationships of all kinds, and I hope that you'll establish a group of core friends to be there for you through thick and thin. Never give up any part of who you are - you let yourself down that way - become something you're not, making you resentful and distrustful.

Your girl might ask you to give up your Transformer collection, but what she's really doing is seeing how far she can push you around. One day, it's get rid of your toys, the next it's give up your motorcycle, shave your beard, stop wearing that ugly green shirt, I don't like your friends - so stop hanging out with them, etc.

If your girl truly cares for you, she'll accept you for who you are. Remember too that treating people the way you want to be treated will always make you the better person.

Auntie Stormer wishes you luck!

Stormer wrote:Ah, Grasshopper...you have much to learn. (Do you get the reference, or am I just showing my age?)

You're going to learn a few lessons about life as you start getting older. You'll have plenty of relationships of all kinds, and I hope that you'll establish a group of core friends to be there for you through thick and thin. Never give up any part of who you are - you let yourself down that way - become something you're not, making you resentful and distrustful.

Your girl might ask you to give up your Transformer collection, but what she's really doing is seeing how far she can push you around. One day, it's get rid of your toys, the next it's give up your motorcycle, shave your beard, stop wearing that ugly green shirt, I don't like your friends - so stop hanging out with them, etc.

If your girl truly cares for you, she'll accept you for who you are. Remember too that treating people the way you want to be treated will always make you the better person.

Auntie Stormer wishes you luck!

funny story about the beard XD she hates my beard. and i cant tell you how many times she told me to shave it off.

"It's not normal"... I laugh at that.

You should do this: ask her what she thinks about people collecting stamps, tea bags, coins and whatnot. Then tell her that there are even more people like you, who even hold annual gatherings (be sure to sneak in the benefit of socialising). But especially, it's fun to you, it's your hobby and that she can't change that because she'd be changing you. If she still refuses to accept that, get ready for a breakup from either side.

I'm blessed with a wonderful wife and an even more wonderful family, who not only accepts my Transformer collecting habits, but actually supports it, by buying me figures I can't get normally (see my location in my profile) and encouraging me to get figures I'm hesitant about. Yes, there are girls like that out there

I'm a big Transfan and I had a fight with myself of recent. Last year I got rid of most of my figs telling myself that I was 30 and need to grow up and be normal. I was wrong. Being a Transfan is normal for me and makes me happy. Trying to be normal and like everyone else was depressing. If you're happy, that's all that matters. If someone can't take you for who you are and what you're into, you don't need them. That's how I see it. I can say that since I've come back, I'm a very happy 31 year old girl!!

thank you all and she does support it every now and then. she got me an energon optimus prime. i never had one till she got it for me. and my first TF i got when i was 3 broke and until last year i never saw another one until she got it for me.

im 19 and my fiancee' loves my nerdiness it drives her crazy . she'll buy me figs i need, just wait man you'll find a chick that will love you for who you are. and hell yeah i'm obsessed with all things transformers....and comics and g.i. joe...

Im 27 now, and have been a transformers fan since my dad bought me the VHS dinobot island 1 and 2 when i was about 8. I started collecting when i was 19ish (even though id had loads as a kid which i had taken from me by my mum and given to my little brother grrr). My partner at the time didnt exactly support it but she didnt kick up too much of a fuss. However after we broke up loads of them dissapeared or got smashed by her so that kinda kicked me in the nuts a bit. I bought the odd one or 2 after that but never really got back into it.

Now with my current partner i decided to grow up, for pretty much the same reasons as Starscreams Girl said above, and expecting my 2nd child i thought i cant go on like this and sold soooooo many its unreal. Brave Max went, as did unicron, and many others. 12 months later ive realised people love me because im a child, that includes my partner and 2 children. My little boy is nearly 3 and loves transformers, and my partner although not understanding the obsession will make me buy the toys i like because she knows it makes me happy.

Moral is, obsession, or just a hobby, if it makes you happy do it, dont let anyone stop it because you'll never be happy being someone your not. I learned that the hard way