An overall note to Starfish. Any spelling and/or grammers are possible even for a profecinal. Especially in a rough draft where all such errors wouldn't be completly worked out till the finnal draft.
Not to mention when you're wrighting for a character the grammer shouldn't allways be correct unless that's the character you're wrighting for. In other words if the character is prone to useing slang terms that slang could be wrighten into the script in which case why would someone who talks like that be so up tight about the rest of their grammer?
I had wrighten a story "Transformers: Saber of Primus" in which one of the character was Rattrap. Someone who proof read for me who was allso a Transformers fan though maybe not of Beast Wars pointed out all the grammer errors in Rattrap's speach which weren't actully errors. I had wrighten it that way intentionally because that's how he speaks. And I do the same with any character I wright for. If I'm wrighting about a pirate I'm going to wright in as many args, mateys, and other such pirate slang wherever it will fit.
Now onto some other things...
starfish wrote:Page 5: Sam and Leo are interns working at CERN!!!! This completely beggars belief, from what we know of the characters. Only the best and brightest particle physicists are contracted to work at CERN. Furthermore, it most certainly would not have any labs with roofs high enough to accomodate robot-mode Prime.
That doesn't sound like a mistake to me. They had made it clear at least to me that Sam and Leo were there because of their interaction with the Transformers and not by normal means. This is a simi fictionalized universe after all and this one is just a matter of suspending you're dissbelief.
Page 9: Energon is discussed by Prime, Leo and Sam without any introduction to the concept for the benefit of newbies - the writer takes it for granted that viewers would know about Energon, despite it not being mentioned in either of the first 2 films.
That's not actully true at all. Energon was in fact talked about in ROTF. Starscreams says that the hatchlings will keep dieing without more Energon and it's allso said the Sun Destroyer was used to convert the sun's energy into into Energon. So the viewers would indeed know about Energon unless they weren't paying attention to thoughs 2 scenes and need to rewatch ROTF.
starfish wrote:Pages 34 etc.: Between 1982 and 2011, the Earth will travel millions of miles across space. Yet magically, the Ark materialises in Earth's orbit in 1982, despite the Earth now being in a completely different spatial position from when the Ark left in 2011!
Again suspention of dissbelief. Pluse I doubt the general audience would be into advance astrophysics. As far as I know we orbit around the sun which itself never moves so from my own understanding we would be in exactly the same spot provided they left and arrived on exactly the same time durring the year when we'd be in the same position of our orbit. I supose there could be more to it than that but I'm just spouting off verry basic knowlage and not even exsplaining it verry well.
Page 40: As if Starscream would worry himself about disguise! Did the writer not see all the tattoos sported by Starscream in the second film?
I would say that about Megatron, not Starscream. Remember Starscream was hidden on Earth as an F-22 Raptor for years before sporting thoughs tatoos and simingly only got them after returning to Cybertron at the end of the first movie.
Why would he scan the F-22 if he doesn't care about disguise?
Page 42: The Ark's crash-landing is severe enough to render the Autobots unconscious (or at least threaten their sparks), but Sam, Leo and Mikaela all survive!!
It was said that the ship was verry old and that it put them in stasis not the crash. Could of been a computer malfunction. I'm more concerned with the fact that suddenly there are ships in the movie universe when it's allready been established in the first two movies and by the real wrighters that the Transformers don't have nor need any ships to travel threw space which is jusified by the fact that they can scan new modes at will and given that fact it would be far easier to scan a space craft than build one. Allthough I prefer Animated's exsplination that the ship is allso a Transformer.
Page 45: The Hoover Dam stuff, with Starscream destroying 1982 Megatron. Don't forget that movies, even sequels, are generally self-contained. The appearance of two Megatrons would confuse anyone unfamiliar with the first film. Even a jobbing hack would give Starscream an explanatory line here, such as "It appears we've travelled back in time to the 1980s! The Megatron of this time period is still trapped in ice under Hoover Dam, and the Allspark with him! Here's my chance to seize the Allspark and kill the Megatron of this era!"
So showing all that is confuseing but saying it makes it OK? You simply aren't makeing sence here and there are sequills which make absolutly no sence unless you watch the movies that came before them. In this case I would say it's fairly safe either way. Santa Claws 3 had the same type of time travel plot and it worked out fine from a visual perspective. They didn't have to verbally exsplain what was happening and that movie came out YEARS after the original film. The audiance who saw it most likely couldn't remember a good majority of the original plot.
Now about my comment about sequills that make no sence unless you watch the other movies. I watched the sequills to the Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and a few others where I could not follow the plot at all because I had never seen the other movies. Superman Returns even follows the older Superman movies and I was sitting there going "WTF If him and Lois had a kid togeather how come she still doesn't know who he is?" I haven't seen the old movies in so long I know they had a relationship but I can't remember any reason why she shouldn't know about Superman is Clark. In Blade 2 Whistler is being tortured by Vampires. If you hadn't seen the first movie or aren't familiar with the characters how are you supose to know how this happened or even who Whistler is?
Typically even if I have seen the first movie I useually have to rewatch it after the sequill to refresh my memory because there's allmost ALLWAYS some refrence to the other movie that I don't remember.
Page 62: Sam's cellphone works. In the middle of the desert in the year 1982.
I was thinking the same thing but this is actully common practice in movies and on TV. It seems no one in Holly Wood understands how a cell phone actully works.
Page 69: Instead of heading up to the dam as ordered, Sam decides to go to a mall instead.
To get desguises. He got all uptight about Prime's flames and Mirage not being street legal so I would find it preddy stupid if he thought it was acceptible to go around in a tattered tux. Besides that he did go to the damn. The mall was after the damn because I remember the scientist at the commenting about their strainge cloths.
Page 92: How does Sam discover the name 'Vector Sigma'?
He didn't. Really now I'm begining to wander if you even read the same script. It was Archibald who translated the name Vector Sigma.
would Bay really spend millions on a CGI model for Inferno, only to have him appear briefly for a single scene.
And again, did you watch the same movies I did? There were several characters especially in ROTF who appeared only briefly. Sideways for one, only seen right in the begining of the movie and only in robot mode long enough to jump threw a building. Jolt was seen only long enough to attach Jetfire's corpse onto Optimus. There's an unnamed robot who appears on screen just as he's being shot dead. And countless others so yes, Bay would and has spent money on bots that only appear for a short time and do absolutly nothing to advance the plot.
The rest of your rant is just a couple more suspention of dissblief and stuff that I actully agree with. Part of what I agree with, why would they do a movie where the entire plot takes place in the past when they have a contract with GMC which requires them to make a car commercial for next years new models, something they can't do if the whole movie takes place in 1982.
One thing you forgot to mention though. How every character in that script seems to be suffering from multiple personality dissorder as they all randomly change from G1 personalitys, to movie personalitys, to some 3rd personality the wrighter pulled out of his... um yeah, you know how that saying goes.
Sam for example keeps changeing from G1 Spike, Back to the Sam we know, and the first time he's introduced he's like a completly different character alltogeather than never seems to show up again ever.
Posted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:16 pm
