The Energon Pub

Yes, REALLY! I'm asking about jokes you liked

MINE:

*The sound peoples' "hello" to fans via Blackout in TF1: There you are, waiting for Blackout to Transform during the first view of the first film.The rotor pops up, the blades fold back, there's a G1 Transformation sound, freshly synthesized with panzywaist new millennium soundtech rather than the old school distortion crunch, but that's cool, 'cuz you recognize the sound peoples' hello and Blackout's about to......
....do nothing.......
...and then everything you were expecting to happen next comes apart at the seams....
Very clever little practical joke, and much appreciated.(Thank you, Sound People).

*The call centre during the Skorponok takedown: Absolutely brilliant moment, especially in a movie where the most advanced, coordinated apples of Earth technology MUST happen NOW for us to survive!!!

*Bumblebee lubricates on the chump!
The Ancient Greeks believed all comedy stemmed from aggression. I think we all can spot and identify ourselves in 'Bee at that moment,plus his body language is mixed with casual and 'tude- it's precision on the animators behalf!

*The Autobots parked all over Sam's Dads yard, assuming any paser by will consider the sight unremarkable. In the Greek version that I watched, it's extra funny, because Optimus gives the command "Paralaktite" (camoflage yourselves) which is a military term that normally follows up with dudes painting faces with mud, dressing in branches and 'disappearing into the landscape'- tho the Autobots are in full view and sitting pretty in the assumption that they're masters of blending in!!!.One's even yellow!!!

*Jetfire farts a parachute!(What will Soundwave fart when he gets old???)

*Sams Ma uses the term Happy time in front of the poor guys female visitor.

*Sam deduces 'Bee is Japanese (Hello, Takara!!)

*The chump educates the children on the Samurai background of Nokia.

*Barricade, in a truly scary display where he demonstrates how easily he can paste Sam, is forced to blurt out the words "Where are the Glasses?" WTF?You evolved into a sentient organic robo comet enslaver to find a pair of glasses?

*Simmons, in defense of his nation, keeps a radioactive alien head in a fresh food store.

*The two nitwits with the Taser in the Smithsoneon.

Yours?

The first one that comes in mind is...

Skids and Mudflap fighting over the Green Chevy.

Mine's are the twins mocking Leo, devey vs the twins, Autobots hiding from Sam's parents, BB pissing on Simmons, and Frenzy saying his infamous line.

Mine is when Skids says to Leo...

"Why don't you get a haircut with yo' b!tch ass!? Go whine to your boyfriend!" Best joke in any movie EVER.

"THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN SINCE ARMAGEDDON! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!"

I love Bay's ability to poke fun at himself.

For me, it's definitely when Bumblebee takes a piss on Simmons. Best freakin' joke ever.

When sideways crashed thru the building everybody flinched except for the old man.

Capt.Failure wrote:"THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN SINCE ARMAGEDDON! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!"

I love Bay's ability to poke fun at himself.

And when Sam wrote on the Bad Boys 2 poster before the movie started to pick up.

The Fallen.

Zing!

"GET OUT OF THE CAR."
"Ok easy..."
"NOW!." -Optimus Prime and Simmons

"The boy's pheremone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female." -Ratchet

"Whoa...dat's a big mudda..." -Skids? Or was it Mudflap?

"You feeling lucky punk?" -Clint Eastbot (AKA Ironhide)

When the twins mock Leo.

Anytime Ironhide wishes to kill something.

All the funny stuff Jolt said.

"I'm getting too old for this crap!" -Jetfire

When Sam suggests Bumblebee could be Japenese.

"Sometimes cowards do survive..." Look who's talking Starscream. Story of your life.

Bumblebee crying when Sam told said he wasn't taking him to college with him.

"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"

Bumblebee's antics when Mikaela and Alice are in the car.

I forgot:

-"It's you and me, now, Megatron..."

-"No, It's just me, Prime..!"

Evil_the_Nub wrote:"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"

Good one. I like the follow-on:
"How about my foot in your a*s?"
"What size shoe do you wear?"

Good times.

“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen

godzillabot wrote:“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen

It was "Mean robots suck!", actually.
But you're Right.

Red 50 wrote:

godzillabot wrote:“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen

It was "Mean robots suck!", actually.
But you're Right.

Thanks for the correction Red 50!

Hip-Hoptimus Rime wrote:

Evil_the_Nub wrote:"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"

Good one. I like the follow-on:
"How about my foot in your a*s?"
"What size shoe do you wear?"

Good times.

most of the humour was... not to my taste, but this made me laugh like a fool, and still does every time i see it, pure genius...

I was actually surprised at how funny the first film was. Shame ROTF didn't live up to it.

I love Anthony Anderson in the interrogation room.

Sam's parents in the first one. "You're gorgeous!" "She can hear you talking, Mom!"

"How did you get over there so fast?" Sam's Mom to his Dad when he crawled furiously under a table thinking there was an earthquake.

Bernie Mac - "If I had a rock, I'd bust your head open!"

Ratchet - "The boy's pheromone level suggests he wants to mate with the female!"

"Left cheek. Left cheek. Left cheek!"

Windsweeper wrote:"Left cheek. Left cheek. Left cheek!"

Ah, yes. That one was hilarious!

"Epps, wheres your wallet?!"
"Pocket!"
"Which pocket?!"
"My back-pocket!!"
"You got ten back-pockets!"
"LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!!"

Also, it's not good, but still (Primus, sometimes I hate Youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWm-Sbsf3ZU

Man you guys got all the good ones but i thought this was funny...

Grindor just drops the car into the building where the cons are going to operate on sam,then megatrons head appears dramtically like hes about to scare the s*** out of megan fox but instead hes acting all chill,nods his head to side,and is like,"Come here boy" it was so funny because you think hes about to rip the humans open like a candy rapper.

Simmons and Leo:
"Did you see the movie 'gunfight at the O.K.Corral'?"
"no why what happens?"
constructicons start their engines and make a rumbling noise
"alllooootttt of people died there"
Devastator begins to form
Simmons,Leo,Twins:

Twitchythe3rd wrote:The Fallen.

Zing!

Jokes aside.

- Galloway and Lennox on the plane:
"I need you to yank the blue cord! Yank it really hard!"
*Galloway yanks the cord and his parachute opens*
"Not now we're on the plane you dumbass!"
"Wha?" *Galloway gets yanked out of the plane*

- Frenzy accidently killing himself.

- "Bumblebee, quit lubricating the man."

- Jetfire commenting on his age. "I'm getting to old for this crap."

Twitchythe3rd wrote:

Twitchythe3rd wrote:The Fallen.

Zing!

Jokes aside.

- Galloway and Lennox on the plane:
"I need you to yank the blue cord! Yank it really hard!"
*Galloway yanks the cord and his parachute opens*
"Not now we're on the plane you dumbass!"
"Wha?" *Galloway gets yanked out of the plane*

Yeah, that one was good. VERY GOOD!!!

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- Frenzy accidently killing himself.

"Oh ****!" And for this crap he got himself a new body...
Hilarious!

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- "Bumblebee, quit lubricating the man."

Not much comment on that one.
Poor guy, though. Even if he was a jerk-ass.

But he's changed now. (Right?)

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- Jetfire commenting on his age. "I'm getting to old for this crap."

As the classics said (Riggs & Murtaugh - "I'm too old for this s***")
Yeah. He was. All that and funny. In a way.

Look at this foo, hair grownin' like a chia pet

I have two.

1) Sam: And here are some basic tools used by 19th century seamen.
*Class chuckles*

2) After Sam's "car-trouble" finally compels Mikeala to leave, Bumblebee pays "Baby Come Back".

Frenzy's "Oh, sh!t" moment when he gets his head smashed by his own shuriken.

Frenzy smashing his head against the console screen inside Air Force One's server room, when the download stopped.

Frenzy flipping the bird at the humans. "Stupid insects tried to shoot me."

Wheelie challenging Simmons to a fight. "You wanna throw down, ya pubic 'fro head?!"

Leo tripping over the guard at the toilet and Tasing himself.

Simmons doing his "One man, alone, betrayed by his own country..." speech with Leo in the car.

Ironhide: "The parents are irritating. Shall I get rid of them?"

**Ratchet cheering him on in the background** [CLASSIC!!!]

OP : "You know we don't harm humans. What is with you?"

Ironhide: "I'm just saying...you know, it's an option."