The Energon Pub

You are given unlimited resources to fight Doreen Green as Squirrel Girl.




You are also allowed to get help from anybody you want to get help from, real, ficiton, deities, whatever you want. You can use any item you want.


What can you do to beat her?

I enlist the help of Home Depot, and Lowe's for all the Squirrel Feeders and feed I can get.

Then I enlist the help of TruGreen.


Basically, I win.

Give me a handfull of acorns and and some poison and I win.

I ascend to oneness with the entire universe and decide to kill that small part of myself know as 'squirrel girl.' And there was much revelry and rejoicing.

she would totally kick my ass in half a second. take a look at the guys shes beaten before:

deadpool, who is an almost inhumanly skilled marksman and fighter

doom, one of earths greatest minds and most powerful magic wielders

modok, who is legitmatly superhumanly intelligent

thanos, whos smarter and more powerful than the rest put together.

deadpool is a better fighter than me, doom is smarter and is experienced at planning and being prepared for a fight (also has alot of power at his disposal), modok has the ability to predict things that almost borders on precog, and thanos can knock galactus on his @ss, as well as out think mr fantastic. there is no chance of me winning this fight.

i think squirrel girls real mutant power is the ability to defeat anyone she comes across, no matter how powerful they are. im sure wikipedia has a better list of her feats, and i know the thanos she beat was a clone, but he was close enough to the real thanos to fool the watcher. even with unlimited resources i dont think anyone would beat her. shes just a freak of nature that negates all logic.

I can honestly say I've beaten a real squirrel so this "Squirrel Girl" is going to be a cake walk.

But seriously, gimme a gun. I'll finish this fight real quick...

unique_username wrote:she would totally kick my ass in half a second. take a look at the guys shes beaten before:

deadpool, who is an almost inhumanly skilled marksman and fighter

doom, one of earths greatest minds and most powerful magic wielders

modok, who is legitmatly superhumanly intelligent

thanos, whos smarter and more powerful than the rest put together.

deadpool is a better fighter than me, doom is smarter and is experienced at planning and being prepared for a fight (also has alot of power at his disposal), modok has the ability to predict things that almost borders on precog, and thanos can knock galactus on his @ss, as well as out think mr fantastic. there is no chance of me winning this fight.

i think squirrel girls real mutant power is the ability to defeat anyone she comes across, no matter how powerful they are. im sure wikipedia has a better list of her feats, and i know the thanos she beat was a clone, but he was close enough to the real thanos to fool the watcher. even with unlimited resources i dont think anyone would beat her. shes just a freak of nature that negates all logic.

That's Doctor Doom. He didn't spend six years in evil medical school to be called just Doom, thank you very much.

A paraphrased Austin Powers quote? I have hit a new low...

get me a gun.

Doreen Green uses her "Who the Bloody Hell Am I?" power to win the fight.

I stab her. I win. I have no remorse. Skynet celebrates.