The Energon Pub

Kup, Hot Rod, Cliffjumper, and Jazz were discussing the defences of Autobot City on Earth. Hot Rod was blabbering on about something wishing he was Optimus, when all of a sudden Kup started having a heart attack.
"Hey, lads, give me a hand here, I think I am having a heart attack!" Kup yelled.
"SO, AS I WAS SAYING..." Hot Rod continued, raising his voice above Kup's cries fo help.
By now Kup was obvoiusly in need of a medic. *cough*Ratchet*cough*
"HELP, MY HEART!!!" Kup was yelling as loud as he could, and by now he had fallen to the ground.
"SO, JAZZ, HOW ABOUT THIS WEATHER?" Cliffjumper yelled over Kups death-like sreaming.
"THIS SURE IS GOOD WEATHER, CLIFFJUMPER, ISN'T IT?" Jazz yelled back.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kup was yelling so loud now that it was getting very hard to ignore.
"SO, HOT ROD, BY THE SOUND OF THINGS, KUP IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK...AGAIN." Jazz said, rolling his eyes.
Kup stopped screaming and lied still. He was still mumbling for help, and his limbs would spasmodicaly twitch, but otherwise he appeared dead.
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Cliffjumper said, resuming a normal tone of voice.
"Totally." Jazz concurred.
As the three Autobots started to walk away from Kup's moaning body, Springer called out, "Hey, wait up!"
Springer was about to meet up with the others when he saw Kup's body. He immediately bent over, picking up Kup's head. "Kup, are you okay?" he asked, "GUYS, I THINK KUP IS HURT!" But before the others could respond, he slipped Kup's wallet out of his back pocket. Letting Kup's head fall to the ground, he stood up, pocketing the old man's cash. "Sucker," was all he said. He then kicked Kup hard in the ribs before turning away and leaving Kup lying on the ground.
"uuuh." Was all Kup could do to protest against his mugger.
A few hours passed, and Kup still lying there on the dirt, walletless, freindless, and almost lifeless.
Suddenly Wheelie and Daniel Witwicky began to approach Kup, speeding as fast as they could. They were racing along the edge of the cliff, and Kup was in their way!
Wheelie swerved and missed Kup, but Daniel was not so kind. "Hey, Wheelie, watch me totally pwn this old freaking n00b!" Daniel swerved the exo-suit at the last minute, hitting Kup's body with full-force broadside impact. Kup went flying. Right over the cliff. "Was that not the most freaking 1337 pwn that was ever pwned?" Daniel yelled at Wheelie.
"Wheelie say bye, cause Kup went fly!" Whellie giggled in his sickening gittish rhyme-voice.
"Oh crap, Wheelie, I just killed someone!" Daniel said as realization of his actions sank in.
Wheelie and Daniel sped off in the opposite direction after vowing to never speak of this incedent again.
Meanwhile, Kup's body was falling fast.
Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercrapper, I...I mean Thundercracker, were on a mission. Their objective was to fly low through the canyon to avoid Autobot sentries, then come from behind and mount one of their rarely successful sneak attacks. Their plan was interrupted, however, by Starscream accidentally impaling Kup's now-dead body on the end of his nose cone. Kup was by now very dead, I mean with the heart attack, the rib kick, the broadside collision, and the F-15 Eagle nose cone rammed through his abdomen.
"What the crap was that?" Starscream yelled as Kup's body slammed into his nose cone. He immediately transformed in midair to combat this surprise attacks.
When Starscream transformed, this tore Kup's body in half, his stomach and legs going one way, and his torso going another. When Starscream realized that it was a dead old guy he laughed at Kup, and spat on his way-dead body before continuing on with the mission.

THE END



epilogue

Fifteen years later Daniel and Wheelie were racing through the very same gorge. Wheelie hit a rock and flipped over, because even though he got older, he did not lose any of his gittishness. He was extremely mad at the rock, so he transformed and walked over to kick it.
"Dan come here, no need to fear." Wheelie called to Daniel.
When Daniel and Wheelie were both looking at the same thing they realized that is was not a rock at all, but rather Kup's crappy rusted head! The two burst into laughter to the point of tears.

Come on, if you read the story, please take the time to leave a little review. I mean even criticism is better than nothing.

well,it wasn't funny,if anything it's only very offensive.
(ignoring the fact that ratchet died five seconds after kup even got introduced to the show)

I can't beleive you made a story out of a joke I told you over the phone.

Well, you know what? You, rhinox555, just don't have a sense of humor. And I hate you.

Dude, calm down. I mean seriously Jon.

Grimlock the Spartan wrote:Well, you know what? You, rhinox555, just don't have a sense of humor. And I hate you.

Posting offensive material and insulting members isn´t excactly a good start. A heart attack is just not humorous,how would you feel if one of your relatives died and someone would just "hate you" if the death didn't strike you as amusing?

Last time I checked Kup was not one of your family members. Besides, the "I hate your" part was a joke.

Okay,so no family member,but just a guy down the street or something.still not in any way humorous.
The "hate you" part being a joke,you might wanna use some smileys next time to avoid misunderstandings,just some advice.

After the way you responded to the last criticism, i was not going to post an opinion. I don't know whether mine will be better than nothing to you.
So this was apparently initiated by a joke on a phone call, right? Well, it reads just like that: an inside joke. Frankly, the premise is not funny. It's not the heart attack thing, i don't know have anyone close that has died of one so its not that. It's also the narration style, it makes it even less funny. Ex: you explaining "Sucker!" was all Springer said... after he says it.
oh yeah, I'm w/Rhinox, put some smileys next time, 'cause your response read a little vicious.

I scincerely apologize for the misunderstandings.
I did not mean to sound vicious. I suppose I was under the impression that everyone hated Kup as much as I do. I admit, I was to fast to judge you all based on your comments. I would find it offensive if a story was posted featuring one of my favorite characters dying. Again, I appologize.

It´s okay,welcome to transtopia/seibertron anyway.

Thank you for the welcome. So no hard feelings?

No hard feelings.

ahahaha epic johnny

come on guize its funny when old people die :I

Personally, I like Kup, but even so, I didn't find it very funny. It felt more like you were making fun of old people--that all those around the elderly are cold and heartless, etc. Plus, why the dig at Thundercracker? He's also a fan-favorite due to his reluctance to actually be fully into the Decepticon ways.

You guys should know that Jonathan(the guy who wrote this) doesn't really know all that much about G1. He's more of a Beast Wars guy.

TheSeekerJets wrote:You guys should know that Jonathan(the guy who wrote this) doesn't really know all that much about G1. He's more of a Beast Wars guy.

Gee, Brandon, way to reveal my secret identity...

That was not funny or entertaining, sorry dude but that left a bad taste in my mouth. Did you just have a row with your parents or something?!?

StarSwoop wrote:That was not funny or entertaining, sorry dude but that left a bad taste in my mouth. Did you just have a row with your parents or something?!?

Yeah, dude, I just had a row with my parents. Right before I killed them. No, just kidding, I wrote this because I hate Kup(He was soooo annoying).

Omg, This is awesome, dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grimlock the Spartan wrote:

StarSwoop wrote:That was not funny or entertaining, sorry dude but that left a bad taste in my mouth. Did you just have a row with your parents or something?!?

Yeah, dude, I just had a row with my parents. Right before I killed them. No, just kidding, I wrote this because I hate Kup(He was soooo annoying).

Heh.