The Energon Pub

So, very recently I was marvelously lucky enough to bump into local resident and celebrity here in Chicago, Cliffjumper!
After some back and forth banter about how I had mistaken him for someone else, he reluctently agreed to a brief interview! Here for your pleasure, is the ruthless warrior Cliffjumper!

Me: "Um, Cliff? Would you kindly transform?"

Cliffjumper: "In the middle of such a public place? Do you want to attract attention?"

Me: "Well, I'm talking to a car with horns, so..."

CJ: "OK OK FINE! Lets just get this over with..."

----CLIP MISSING----

Me: "So Cliffjumper, can I call ya Cliff?"

CJ: "Whatever"

Me: "How about CJ?"

CJ: "Don't push your luck..."

Me: "Ok, so Cliff, a couple of questions from me and the fans..."

CJ: "Shoot"

Me: "Well, the very first and foremost question from the fandom is, did you really agree to die in the first episode, just like that?"

CJ: "I don't like to talk about it"

Me: "Oh come on! I crammed you into this tiny office building, away from prying eyes, the least you could do is answer the question."

CJ: "Grrr... I had originally wanted to be a main cast character! But then the director and the CEO of hasbro cut me a deal."

Me: "Oh really? what did this deal include?"

CJ: "Well, they said that, so long as I make an appearence on screen, Id'e get to appear in the Fall of Cybertron Video Game."

Me: "But you already appeared in the DS version."

CJ: "this was after the facelift"

Me: "Oh. Hey, yeah! What brought on this new look? Arent you usually, you know, basically a red Bumblebee?"

CJ: "I want NOTHING to do with that camera hog! He betrayed his personality on screen, and on TV! I had a good friend in the media, Hotshot, remember him? That stupid yellow R2D2 put Hotshot on the road to retirement! Other than a few cameos and toys here and there, he's pretty much done! Me and Bumblebee's days as bros are long gone! So the new body design was very welcomed!"

-----Long Pause-----

Me: "*Clears Throat* so, back to the deal?"

CJ: "*SIGHS* Well, they said that, the catch was I had to die in episode 1, no questions asked. As you and the fandom know, I'm not a no questions asked kinda guy! I had my demands, and they had to be met if I was going to die out like a new boot in his first day at training!"

Me: "And those demands were?"

CJ: "Well, the first thing was, I needed to be a unique character. I didnt want anything to do with that showoff Bumblebee! So I presented them with some Ideas."

Me: "What were their initial reactions to said ideas?"

CJ: "*IN STOICY FAT DIRECTOR VOICE" A red muscle car with bull horns on the hood!? Twin three barreled guns in each arm!? A relationship with the only female bot on the set? Were do you kids come up with this crap!? Why I oughta-"

Me: "I get it!"

CJ: "Well, after some further dealings and whatnot, BOOM! I have several toy deals and people love the new me!"

Me: "Well, I guess sometimes being ambitious pays off!"

CJ: "Yeah, it was a good career choice if I do say so myself! even if I did have to come back as a zombie!"

Me: "So, were do you go from here then?"

------LONG FREAKING AWEKWARD PAUSE------

------TRANSFORMATION SOUND--------------

------SCREECHING TIRES------------------

------WALL CRUMBLING--------------------

------MORE SCREECHING-------------------

So that was certainly an interesting look into Cliffjumper's life now wasn't it? Now how the hell am I going to explain this massive hole to the landlord!

------STATIC------

It seems the tape made it out ok...
I hope my next interview goes off a bit better...

------TAPE CLIPS OFF--------------------

So this has been BP's Character interview #1!

Anybody care to comment?