Parallels Between Transformers Characters and Videogame Consoles

This isn't clickbait. This isn't some article cashing in on hypothetical fan art of an Xbox turning into Megatron or a post about those awesome Mega Drive/PlayStation Transformers. This is my life, you fools. I've spent time pouring over this existential question. The world needs to know: what if videogame consoles were Transformers? Here are the Transformers they would be, mostly framed through the IDW comics because those are rad.

You're welcome.

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Megatron: Xbox One

It's not hard to see the parallels between Megatron (as written by James Roberts), Megatron (the character in More than Meets the Eye), and Phil Spencer's work on the Xbox brand. When you want to make a change, be it financially motivated, a creative decision, or an emotionally motivated faction change, there has to be some revisionism. You have to convince yourself that the past doesn't matter, and then you have to perform the Herculean task of convincing everyone else of the same. For the moment, it's almost impossible to tell whether Megatron or Microsoft were successful. We won't know how successful the Xbox One will be until well into the life cycle of the Xbox Two, and I honestly don't know where Megatron's character development could go from here. Either way, I'm looking forward to both.

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Wii U: Tailgate

There's something futile about chasing old glories, especially when they're made up. Nintendo has never been good with third parties. Remember that "historic partnership" between EA and Nintendo? Remember when Call of Duty: Ghosts coming to Wii U was a big deal? Where's Advanced Warfare? Where's Battlefield 4? The Wii U was a joke back when it was trying to be just another videogame console; another machine for you to enjoy those big tentpole releases. Today, it's genuinely beloved, even if the rampant amiibo shortage threatens to overshadow Nintendo's recent successes. Is the Wii U selling well? Of course not, that door closed when it launched with a crappy Mass Effect port and didn't have a killer app until a year into the console's life cycle. And Tailgate lost any chance of becoming an Old Cybertronian legend the second he fell unconscious. But we've got Mario Kart 8 now, and Tailgate defeated a genocidal despot by sticking a finger in his robo-brain. (God, I love these comics.) Accept your limitations, and use them to move forward. Can't wait for whatever NX is!