Reporting from Hell's Front Line
This is Kamjiin, HMW: Frontline's War Correspondant, reporting to you from the front lines of the Great War. We hope you enjoy this issue. Today we had an opportunity for a brief discussion with Edgecrusher of Realy Druged Decepticons, a Cybertronian of few words but much wisdom.
Kamjiin: Thank you for joining us today, Edgecrusher.
Edge: No problem.
Kamjiin: In a word, describe yourself to all the experienced Autobots who'll soon be "good enough" to face you on the battlefield.
Edge:
That is quite difficult; perhaps silent but deadly in battle, and a little psychopath off the battle field...depending on the time of day.Kamjiin: Any chance you might put your name in the hat to lead the Decepticons? If not, who do you support?
Edge: No, I am more of a guy behind the scenes. But I do support Psychout. I think he has the guts to lead us to a great future along with Burn and Jeep.
Kamjiin: What steps do you plan to take to ensure Psychout's rise to preeminence?
Edge: No porn, no booze and no femmes around him!! And when he's gotten to the point I want to see him at; he'll get all the porn, booze and femmes he wants!! And if it takes too long, I'll beat him to my goal
Kamjiin: Evolution Prime is the new Autobot Leader. On a scale of 1-10, one being laughing so hard you might catch a stray round and 10 being confident he might lead his troops into battle someday, how do you feel about this development?
Edge: Him and I fought against each other way back when we both led the subfactions RDD/AWC, so I know how he leads. We all know how strong the AWC is, now don't we. So I'd give him a 4. If he's alone it depends on his staff that support him for leading the autocorpse...err I mean troops.
Kamjiin: Being so close to him, what gifts do you plan to give EP this holiday season?
Edge: Well if I tell you then it wouldn't be a suprise!
Kamjiin: What advice do you have for new recruits who want to be ubermensch warriors like you?
Edge: Stay focused, never lose sight of your goals, and destroy your enemy with pleasure!
Kamjiin: It has been suggested that you fraternize far too much with your subordinates. How do you respond?
Edge: I am a different type of commander not like Megatron or any of the other leaders. I make sure my subordinates know how important they are to me. That makes them more effective in battle.
Kamjiin: It appears that the mini-cons have gone independant again. What effect do you expect this to have on the war effort?
Edge: Bah those litte scrap piles are of no use for the Decepticon Empire... what would've been next? Go friendly with the fleshcreatures?!?
No, I think it's good they left again. IF I see any use for them, then it is as slaves.
Kamjiin: Tell our readers, just what it means to be...Edgecrusher.
Edge: It's being an oldschool veteran, an adviser for the grunts, and a loyal comrade in the Great War.
Kamjiin: Tell us...in your own words, no propaganda...what is the Renegade Decepticon Dissidents? How was it formed and what does it stand for? And most importantly, what does it mean to you?
Edge: THE RDD is a band of Brothers in arms! We fight for the same cause, help each other, and kick the living scrap out of our enemy. It was formed by Naval Strike, Jeep and myself. We were a small group that helped each other out in missions. The RDD stands for battle supremacy. For me it has become more than a band of brothers in arms. It's more like a family now and I am proud of being part of it.
Kamjiin: Thank you once again for joining us, Edgecrusher.
Let's get some perspective on what things look like in the field right now:
Anonymous Predacon 14: "It's election day. Early polls show me leading. Don't ask me how, I don't really know myself."
Anonymous Maximal 32: "Stupid archive. I keep requesting information on that stupid Pred that's always stalking me. I can tell from the progress bar that it's loading, but it's slow as Christmas. Is this thing on dial-up? Oh, well. Guess I'll click it again."
In other news today, numerous complaints have been recieved by Centurion Firearms Superwarehouse regarding faulty Battle Blades. Officials with the weapons manufacturer, who wished to remain anonymous, have reported that the factories producing their most popular weapon line ever have been moved to China. In addition to the inexpensive labor, certain changes were made to the design and construction process to produce more affordable blades for the consumer, and to maximize profits for the company. We called CFS's Corporate Headquarters for a comment, but were still on hold with their Call Center in India by press time.
Minicons...some loved them, some hated them. Regardless, they are no longer among us. After a series of complaints regarding their exploitation by the Autobots and Decepticons, the little fellows quit the war en masse and fled Cybertron for parts unknown. We asked several Cybertroinans how they felt about the issue.
Fender Bender: "Well, several of my teammates used them, and they were a welcome addition to the war. I wouldn't get too worked up about them being gone for the time being. They may return sooner than you think."
Jesus Prime: "Minicons? I'd like them back, in some way, shape or form. I'm hoping that this was merely an initial test, and we'll be seeing them back in V2, not quite so new but definately improved."
Alpha Strike: "They're gone? I coulda' sworn I just stepped on a few of them the other day. In reality I liked the idea of having them around, unfortunately they weren't much help in battle. Now that they are gone, perhaps they will get reworked to become actual values in combat."
Waylander: "O.K., they were wasted in my book by more powerful commanders with energon from that weapons bug last spring. They used them every mission and whined when they were gone. Just my view. They had a use, and I liked the missions, but they where cheap for some and spendy for others. They are nice but should have a cap so a few commanders dont horde/use them all up before others get to use them. Maybe a daily team stock limiter? Get them for doing missions, instead of putting them on yourself would be a nice twist for a mission"
MamaKitty: "Well I'm certainly not happy they've gone! Now I've got 12 very unhappy Predakitties squalling and sulking because their favorite kitty toys have disappeared. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find reasonably priced entertainment for those little brats. Something had better come up and soon. Half of them are off their feed, the other half overeating all because they're depressed over this whole stupid minicon thing."
According to the newsscrolls in the archives, the Decepticons are winning in the field and...oh hell...why bother? It hasn't changed in weeks and I'm getting tired of slamming the Autobots!
Want to bash the Autobots, too? Visit your nearest Predacon Army Recruiting Center and learn more TODAY!
Classifieds
Notice: Attention Maximals and Predacons!!! There is a fanfic in the works that will include YOUR troops. There are only eight slots open for each side. Please contact your respective leaders or post in our respective threads if you are interested. The author, sumowrestler, is considering a Predacon co-author. If this interests you, please PM him.
Notice: Attention all Predacons! The polls are now open. Remember to vote. It is not just your right, but your Patriotic Duty to go down to the Tri-Predacus Council and make your voice heard.
Want to dominate? Go Con or be dominated!
Notice: To all the femmes out there. Sky Glory of Iacon has a quiet club for you to relax and discuss timely topics or just natter away about inane nonsense. The ladies thread. Drop in and while away the day.
Letters to the Editor
Rattrap666 wrote:Hey, I was just wondering after reading the latest issue of Frontline, how do you choose who you are going to interview next?
"I pick someone charismatic that I think people would like to see interviewed. I also try to keep it relevent with what's going on at the time and what people request. I do have a list of people I want to interview, so I pull from it whenever possible. I also take volunteers. When I get one, like Nightbird and Edgecrusher, I put them on my list and work them in when I get a chance. Then I have emergency interviews, like Redimus and Psychout's interviews were. If it all falls through, and I'm running out of time, I ambush someone online that has a messenger system I can use and get an interview from them. So, I guess in all honesty, there really is no system to it."
We usually close with a public service message brought to you by our proud sponsors:
"This space for rent. Now hiring full-time Faction basher. Must be willing to dis any faction, even his own, with reckless abandon"
Thank you for choosing HMW: Frontline. We hope you enjoyed this issue. Please join us for our next week. I'm Kamjiin, your Frontline War Correspondant, dedicated to reporting Honest and Accurate stories from the front lines of the Great War.
Staff: Kamjiin- Correspondant/ Editor, MamaKitty- Proofreader, Grimsqueaker- Photographer, Tammuz- Columnist
Contributors: Edgecrusher, sumowrestler, Rattrap666, Fender Bender, Jeep?, Alpha Strike, Waylander, MamaKitty
Back Issues Available here: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8
In the Next Issue of HMW: Frontline, Welcome to the Urban Jungle...
