Soundwave knew that there were some things Rumble and Frenzy should never be allowed to expose little Ratbat to. He just didn’t know he would be adding a certain Earth holiday to that list…
“They’re coming, they’re coming!” Ratbat squealed. Frenzy looked up from the mess of duct tape that was his twin and Long Haul. “Okay, I am officially out of here.” “What about me?” “You got yourself into this mess, bro, you’re getting yourself out.” This seemed unfair to Rumble, and the red Recordicon let his twin know through a string of profanity that would make Skywarp proud- and would’ve earned him a longer punishment if his dad heard then the time he glued Lord Megatron’s aft to his chair.
Upon coming across his second-oldest creation, who was tying up poor Long Haul with a familiar silvery Earth substance, Soundwave sized up the situation in an instant. “Long Haul. Rumble. Deactivate audials. Operation: Freedom.” Rumble got the message, but the poor Constructicon dump truck was so stuck that he didn’t process what Soundwave was about to do.
A low-frequency sonic wave rumbled from Soundwave’s cannon, simultaneously freeing Rumble and destroying Long Haul’s audials. “Rumble. Go to your bunk. No laptop, pranks, or annoying your siblings.” “Aww, dad.” “Consider the fact that your mother would be worse to you.” As father and son walked down the hall, the shouts of Devastator’s crotch could still be heard. “Hello? Is anybody out there? I’m still stuck, you know!” Poor Long Haul.
As Soundwave slumped onto his recharge slab, his youngest creation came chittering up to him. “Hello, Ratbat.” Soundwave said with a warmth in his voice that was reserved for only his cassettes and Shadowrider. Speaking of the Pit… “Soundwave, there’s something we need to talk about.” Soundwave’s sparkmate emerged, with a loving scratch to Ravage. Before they could continue their conversation, Ratbat bumped against his leg. “Daddy, can we have Christmas?” The absolutely bewildered expression on Soundwave’s face was priceless. “What?”
Shadowrider sighed. “This is what I wanted to talk about. The twins apparently described Christmas to Ratbat, and I told him we could have it if it was alright with you.” “Repeat. The twins described this to Ratbat how?” Ratbat piped up. “They said there’s trees and singing and pretty lights and a fat squishy who delivers presents!” The Decepticon communications officer blinked. Poor, innocent little Ratbat. This was no doubt an attempt by the twins to drag the crew of the Nemesis into a web of pranks. However, there seemed to be a certain sense of fun to the idea. No harm, no foul, as the humans said, right? “So can we have Christmas?” Ratbat gave him his best set of puppy-optics. “Yes.” There was an uproar from Rumble and Frenzy’s general direction. “However, we will only do this with Lord Megatron’s consent. If we are going to do this, we will do it right.” “Fine with me.” said Shadowrider. “Rumble, consider yourself ungrounded.” “Yes!” Frenzy had a thought. “Hey, bro. I think you just set the record for shortest punishment!” “Yayyyy.” Ravage’s dry response made Ratbat giggle.
“Let me get this straight. You wish for us to celebrate a fleshling holiday for no apparent reason?” “Reason: Morale booster for the troops. Holiday spirit: contagious.” The Decepticon warlord sighed. This “Christmas” seemed to be nothing more than human nonsense. Despite this, several of his forces seemed to have taken the idea well. The common room was decorated with holly, and there were lights strung along the corridors. After what seemed like a stellar cycle, Megatron made up his mind. “Very well. We will celebrate.” There were cheers all around, and Megatron realized just how many of his Decepticons were eavesdropping on his conversation with the trusty communications officer. “However, due to it being his idea, I am putting Soundwave in charge. Consider this our mission for the holidays.”
The Decepticons took to the task immediately. The halls of the Nemesis were brightly bathed in colored lights and golden tinsel. In the common room, Skywarp had turned on a marathon of holiday movies, and the Constructicons were searching for a Christmas tree. Speaking of that…
“Move it a bit to the left.” Long Haul shuffled his pedes. “No, the other left! My left! Wait. That’s your right.” Scrapper sighed. “For Primus’ sake, Hook, make up your mind! And Rumble, you’re not helping.” The red cassette shrugged. “What can I say? I want my little bro’s first Christmas to be perfect.” “All the same, why do I have to do this? Why can’t you guys pull your own weight for once?” Now it was Scavenger’s turn to shake his helm. “For starters, it’s not like anyone else can carry a tree of that size with our buckets. For another, will you fragging stop complaining already! This is technically a mission, so act like you would on a mission!” “Okay, okay. Geez, Scavenger!” This earned the two mechs a facepalm, courtesy of Hook.
Despite all the bickering going on, the Christmas tree was finally put into place. Ratbat flew in, accompanied by his other siblings (minus Ravage, who found the whole Christmas season frankly stupid). At the sight of the tree, little Ratbat’s optics lit up. “Yay! The tree is here! Soundwave, Soundwave, come look!” At that moment, the mech of the hour walked in. Inspecting the tree, Soundwave gave his opinion to the Constructicons. “Fine work. Thank you, all of you.” “It was our pleasure, Soundwave.” Long Haul was quick to contradict Hook. “Actually, it was a real pain in the aft, but you’re welcome!”
The next morning, Soundwave woke up to find his creations and sparkmate mysteriously absent from his quarters. That was odd. Had he powered up too late? His internal chronometer answered for him. No, it was exactly 0630 Earth time. He heard laughter coming from the common room, and decided to investigate. What he found there did not surprise him in the least.
All six of his Recordicons were glued to a data screen. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw were perched on the backs of the sofa. Frenzy and Rumble were sitting cross-legged on the floor, inches away from the broadcast. Ravage was curled up on Shadowrider’s lap, and Ratbat was snuggled into the crook of her shoulder. Soundwave walked into the room. “Boys, get at least six feet away from the screen.” “Aww…” “You heard your dad. Get onto the sofa.” The twins obliged. “Why are you all here? From the look of it, you have been here for at least one kilo-cycle.” “Ratbat couldn’t sleep.” said Shadowrider. “He woke up in the middle of the night, so Rumble suggested we watch a movie. You were recharging so deeply that it didn’t feel right to wake you up.” At the moment, The Muppet Christmas Carol was playing. Just as the Marley brothers began their song, Soundwave paused the film. “Why’d you do that, dad?” asked Frenzy, humming the jaunty tune loud enough that Ravage gave him a swat. “Operation: Family Time.” “Um, what do you mean, Daddy?” “In simpler words: Move over, Frenzy. We’re watching this together.” His family cheered. Soundwave clicked play on the movie, and settled in for some good old fashioned family time.
And thus concludes Part 1!
