So I need to rant a bit.
I began playing Trumpet at the age of 10, at the age of 13 I was swapped (read, get the fat kid to play the fat instrument) to Euphonium for the remainder of my school life.
After I left school I didn't play much, the only bands available in town to me were the high school bands and I only went to one when needed and played trumpet, and that lasted until my old teacher left town.
I was really shown the basics of playing, never given much theory, and I was in fact shown how to use my lips to play completely incorrectly (I was told to press tighter against the mouthpiece rather than tightening my lips).
Flash forward to now ... we started up a band a few years ago primarily for adults, kids are more than welcome. I did Euphonium for a bit before swapping back to Trumpet. This year I decided it was time to go onto 1st, that and the other trumpeter hasn't been around.
Now the other people in the band ... most of them have decades of experience, university educations, or received extra tuition whilst at school.
Suffice to say, I would class myself as one of the least experienced in the band.
This year we started up a smaller group to play jazz and swing stuff ... and after last night I'm feeling INCREDIBLY dejected. I lack the theory to understand some of the stuff, my eyes have trouble reading some of the scores, and I just can't play that high (and I'm not really good at sight reading down the octave). So obviously I need to practice.
Which I did tonight, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get one song.
Anyone ever been at a point like this where they feel they're just not good enough and feel like quitting? Because that's how I feel ... like I want to walk away from it because it's seriously depressing.
Plus my ex is in the band and she's nothing but a massively negative influence I don't need in my life.