by SoooTrypticon » Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:17 am
- Motto: "If it can't transform into a dinosaur, burn it with lasers."
- Weapon: Laser Cannon
"From the initial story to envisioning the look of the true stars to the directing style of Michael Bay, no stone is left unturned."
Wow, so the documentary must be like, what, 30 seconds? "Robots pee and fight! Rar!" (Bay's thoughts as they taped him under his blanket fort."
"Their War goes through the history of the Transformers brand, its fans, and how they translated a cheesy cartoon show into a series of badass robots."
Or, "translated a cheesy cartoon show into a series of moving spare parts in a script aimed at four years old suffering from shaken baby syndrome."
The movie wasn't badass. It was ass. Crappy lines, stupid fights, and lame jokes don't make something badass. They make it bad. Worse than a "cheesy cartoon."
I still haven't bought any of those hideous toys, and will not be buying the film in any format. Seeing it twice in the theater (support pixar and good storytelling) was more than enough. It was tough not too laugh too loud at anything Megatron or Prime said. Wow, it was a bad movie. Remember that time Jazz was ripped in half, and Prime's just carrying him around like laundry. That's some good character animation. Or what about that time(s) we were just watching cars driving around in the desert for what seemed like an eternity? Or how about masturbation jokes, golden showers, "wuz up, lil bitches," hack army subplot (enlist!), gremlin robots, ugly designs, or the camera's fixation on leading lady breasts.
I'm not angry... I just hate most things.