by Dr. Caelus » Fri Nov 30, 2007 1:18 pm
Has anyone suggested a guilt trip?
It requires that JR be able to cry on command or at least act horribly despondent, but guilt can be an effective tool.
I mean, it's like what you have going on is a war, and he keeps winning all the little battles. And it stays amusing for him, b/c you get back up again and keep fighting, so you must be 'okay'.
But how would he react if he actually won the war? If you just stopped using the internet, stopped playing with your toys, and just laid on your bad and stared off in to space like a wounded puppy or something.
You know, pretend you're a moody teenager. At the age of three, he may not be capable of the most complicated logic in the world, or grasp great subtlty, but when he figures out he actually, really, seriously has hurt your feelings, he'll probably feel horrible and do just about anything to make it better again.*
Guilt can be a powerful force at that age. I used to get spanked as a kid, but physical pain didn't have nearly the impact on me that my mom's crying did when she had to do it. After all, most of us endure pain of some form to get what we want, but the those who aren't deterred by it are considered strong in character. On the other hand, those that are willing to inflict pain on others to get what they want are considered sociopaths. Summary - it's much more important to teach your child that their actions harm others, than that their actions harm themselves.
The other option, given your situation, would be to stay out of the house as much as the weather allows. Go for the longest school days possible with loads of extracurricular commitments, hang out with friends at their houses or (if legally possible) at the mall.
*Edit: Also, the moody teenager bit can wear down adults faster than the bitchy teenager bit. If you bitch to your uncle and aunt they just bitch back, right? But if you act really depressed and withdrawn, what will they do? Yell at you to be happy? My guess is that, as family they really do love you and are concerned about your welfare, but simply haven't been taking your complaints seriously so far because (a) that's just how kids are, and (b) a whining teenager is a healthy teenager. If you start to get seriously homesick, they may start to change things up to make things better, like encouraging their son to respect your personal space.