The Energon Pub

Sex is becoming more and more common in junior high and middle schools. You parents here might have children that are sexually active in the eighth grade. Your thoughts? I'd especially like to hear the opinions of parents with daughters.

If I ever have a daughter, I'd put her on birth control her freshman year. I've already accepted that abstinence doesn't exist anymore, and my responsibility as a parent would be to keep my child safe.

Bumperoosky.

If I had a daughter, I would still tell her that abstinence is best, and that I would be EXTREMELY disapointed in her if she gave into culture...
I would tell her that sexual desire is normal though, and there will be times when you are sorely tempted to give in. And I would tell her that we are not animals, that we do not need to blindly follow our lusts like we have no reasoning. I would help her if she wanted, to explore ways of dealing with it in a healthy way so she is not overwhelmed with it and burning.

This rampent sexualization is a recent thing, there was always some of it in the past, but not to this great extent.
I personally feel it was when we gave up on our kids and feeling it futile to override the great Cultural Influance, as it seemed too strong, that we truely began to lose them. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it to have kids anymore, that whatever you try to teach them of good and moral values instead gets replaced by the repugnant fecal material that passes for morality these days.
But I will teach her these things still, but I will give her wisdom to look with jaded eyes. I will show her that things on the surface are not always as good as they can appear. That will be one of my gifts to her.

I higly disagree that rampant sexualisation is a recent thing, prior to the 19th century it was very sexualised, onlywith the advent of the victorians did we take on a this prudish nature. in 17th century london you would find VERY young prostitutes, and any girl of breeding age would be a target of breeding.

Yes by all means teach your daughters it's okay to have sex, you're covered under birth control. Never mind the STDs, the fact that birth control isn't 100% effective, and could completely screw her up her hormons (do a little research, not all woman can take birth control because of the side effects) But then, you could just hand her a box of condoms, which will give her all but a license to have sex at whim. But then you can stay under your security blanket that at least she's doing it with your knowledge

But by all means, it's your daughter, your the one who needs to live with the consequences with your relationship. I know what I'm going to be teaching mine.

I love the hypocrisy that it's all about duaghters and not sons, sexist aren't we...

Tammuz wrote:I love the hypocrisy that it's all about duaghters and not sons, sexist aren't we...

True from a general perspective, but not true from a personal one. I can't speak from experience on sons since I don't have any, but I would probably feel the same way about then. All I have are two daughters. I know it's possible to teach your kids abstenince since that what I learned growing up. I'm not willing to just give up and hand over birth control to my children under the guise of, "Oh well, I can't stop you so you may as well have fun! But at least you'll be safe!" When in truth, they're everything but.

Loki120 wrote:

Tammuz wrote:I love the hypocrisy that it's all about duaghters and not sons, sexist aren't we...

True from a general perspective, but not true from a personal one.

but shouldn't we be discussing it in general?

i think the best method to prevent it is to have ugly children, i don't think just teaching abstinence is good idea, I'd rather they knew what a condom was than not, and there are a multitude of chemical contraceptive alternatives to the pill, people(not just kids) are on occaision stupid(more so when they're infatuated) and quite often buckle to peer pressure despite pearantal teachings, I'd rather my children where having sex, than having families.

but the real question is why is there somthing inherently wrong with having safe sex whilst a teenager?

Well, people are starting to get laid morea early and those who don´t , are made outcats or labeled losers. (I myself have been the object of a couple of jokes of being 20 and still a virgin)

Tammuz wrote:

Loki120 wrote:

Tammuz wrote:I love the hypocrisy that it's all about duaghters and not sons, sexist aren't we...

True from a general perspective, but not true from a personal one.

but shouldn't we be discussing it in general?

i think the best method to prevent it is to have ugly children, i don't think just teaching abstinence is good idea, I'd rather they knew what a condom was than not, and there are a multitude of chemical contraceptive alternatives to the pill, people(not just kids) are on occaision stupid(more so when they're infatuated) and quite often buckle to peer pressure despite pearantal teachings, I'd rather my children where having sex, than having families.

but the real question is why is there somthing inherently wrong with having safe sex whilst a teenager?

Because a teenager is still growing mentally and physically. Sex, while natural, is a very big deal. It involves chemical processes that are designed to tie a couple together so they will eventually concieve and raise a child. This tying together also increases the child's chances of survival, so one parent doesn't run off and leave the other with a dependant offspring. But having sexual relations with somebody and breaking up, more sexual relations with someone else and breaking up, so on and so forth, can make it harder after a time for a person to keep committed, even when they marry. They become innoculated against or can overcome easier the strong feelings sex produces, as they give their hearts away to many other persons, not just one. This increases the chances they will leave a marriage. Denying them the permission to have sex, safe or unsafe, is also helping them learn to manage their passions, not be ruled by them. I would want my daughter to have control over herself, and not run off to have sex just because she feels desire.

My daughter would be made to wait until marriage until she could have sex, same would be for my son. He wouldn't get overlooked on this just because he's a boy.

My mom says it's cool, as long as we use protection.

My mom also has a rule about "Firing off the ol' Shotgun."

"Only in the privacy of your own bedroom.

I have a cool mom.

Zombie Starscream wrote:

Tammuz wrote:

Loki120 wrote:

Tammuz wrote:I love the hypocrisy that it's all about duaghters and not sons, sexist aren't we...

True from a general perspective, but not true from a personal one.

but shouldn't we be discussing it in general?

i think the best method to prevent it is to have ugly children, i don't think just teaching abstinence is good idea, I'd rather they knew what a condom was than not, and there are a multitude of chemical contraceptive alternatives to the pill, people(not just kids) are on occaision stupid(more so when they're infatuated) and quite often buckle to peer pressure despite pearantal teachings, I'd rather my children where having sex, than having families.

but the real question is why is there somthing inherently wrong with having safe sex whilst a teenager?

Because a teenager is still growing mentally and physically. Sex, while natural, is a very big deal. It involves chemical processes that are designed to tie a couple together so they will eventually concieve and raise a child. This tying together also increases the child's chances of survival, so one parent doesn't run off and leave the other with a dependant offspring. But having sexual relations with somebody and breaking up, more sexual relations with someone else and breaking up, so on and so forth, can make it harder after a time for a person to keep committed, even when they marry. They become innoculated against or can overcome easier the strong feelings sex produces, as they give their hearts away to many other persons, not just one. This increases the chances they will leave a marriage. Denying them the permission to have sex, safe or unsafe, is also helping them learn to manage their passions, not be ruled by them. I would want my daughter to have control over herself, and not run off to have sex just because she feels desire.

My daughter would be made to wait until marriage until she could have sex, same would be for my son. He wouldn't get overlooked on this just because he's a boy.

oxytocin immunity? i'd like a scientific paper for that, as i'll call that bullshit; Oxytocin is a vital hormone in both creating the bonding affect after sex, and in sexual arousal, if your immunity is true, the more sex a teen has the less they would be aroused, and this would lead to immpotence in males... not just with intercourse, but with masturbation too.


secondly, wouldn't this hold true no matter the age of the person, if someone started sex at 16 or 60 this biochemical affect would be the same, no?

and how does marriage affect biochemistry?


EDIT: though if your oxytocin immunity is true, excessive masturbation would lead to a much lower sex drive so would be a good way to put them off sex.

Loki120 wrote:Yes by all means teach your daughters it's okay to have sex, you're covered under birth control. Never mind the STDs, the fact that birth control isn't 100% effective, and could completely screw her up her hormons (do a little research, not all woman can take birth control because of the side effects) But then, you could just hand her a box of condoms, which will give her all but a license to have sex at whim. But then you can stay under your security blanket that at least she's doing it with your knowledge

But by all means, it's your daughter, your the one who needs to live with the consequences with your relationship. I know what I'm going to be teaching mine.

I'm a broken record...

She's going to do it anyway. Teenage sex is the norm. And the safety of your child is of the upmost importantce. I'd rather have my daughter having sex than have her barefoot and pregnant with three STD's.

Well, if teenage sex is becoming normal that mean its anormal...right?
In fact, i heard of a story about 6th Grader who had sex...

Anyway, we all have impulse whe must control. here is an example. Lets say that suddently all the teen in an high school are asked to do what their sexual impulse tell them. The place would turn into an orgy!
Im just saying that we all have to live whit this...especially when your 14-16 year old.

Also, there is also another factor in paly. Girl dress like...wel..they dress in a way you just CAN'T ignore...you know what i mean!

I'd note that we in the US are still getting over a Victorian Protestant revival that ushered in a total disgust for sex and child masturbation, and the popularizing of things to prevent them such as painful chastity belts and forced circumcisions/genital multilations for both boys and girls.

In comparison, I really like were we're going.

Nico wrote:Well, if teenage sex is becoming normal that mean its anormal...right?
In fact, i heard of a story about 6th Grader who had sex...

I know three girls that maxed out their V-card in the sixth grade (so that makes it three boys, too).

a few hundred years ago, you could marry and have kids at around 14, were middle aged at 20+, an old man at 30, and ancient at 40, and generally dead at 50 or 60
anyway, you can't really stop them from doing it these days , best you can do is try to be sure they're not stupid and get a disease or a kid when they do

Shadowman wrote:My mom says it's cool, as long as we use protection.

Same thing with my folks.On the Pill I go. Also helps with acne and stuff. So its win win.

I would just like to point out one thing, that while I don't condone teenage sex, you simply aren't ready, I don't look down on you for doing so. I have my opinions and they are just that. One day you're going to get old enough and realize just how stupid statements like - "Well, I'll be on the pill and my acne will clear up so it's win-win." really are.
As for the parent comments about "I'm a broken record...my kids don't listen...I would rather let them have sex then actually being a parent and doing something about it...yada yada yada...have no one else to blame when they teenage daughter comes home because she has nowhere else to go because she's pregnant (because we all know that birth control is 100% effective right...besides it clears up acne! How could it not be? - or (GASP!) they forget to take it! Oh Noes!) They also don't have anyone else to blame when they're sons are either slapped with child support when they turn 18 (and rightfully so), or come down with and SDT which will forever change their lives. But at least you have a clear conscious that you did everything you could.

Loki120 wrote:I would just like to point out one thing, that while I don't condone teenage sex, you simply aren't ready, I don't look down on you for doing so. I have my opinions and they are just that. One day you're going to get old enough and realize just how stupid statements like - "Well, I'll be on the pill and my acne will clear up so it's win-win." really are.
As for the parent comments about "I'm a broken record...my kids don't listen...I would rather let them have sex then actually being a parent and doing something about it...yada yada yada...have no one else to blame when they teenage daughter comes home because she has nowhere else to go because she's pregnant (because we all know that birth control is 100% effective right...besides it clears up acne! How could it not be? - or (GASP!) they forget to take it! Oh Noes!) They also don't have anyone else to blame when they're sons are either slapped with child support when they turn 18 (and rightfully so), or come down with and SDT which will forever change their lives. But at least you have a clear conscious that you did everything you could.

I agree 99%. Plus a some of those STDs are getting a bit harder to treat, due to their becoming resistant to the standard drugs used in treating them. A couple of those STDs can create infertility in women (and possibly men too) if they are left untreated or don't respond to the drugs. And also sometimes the person will NOT say they have this STD or that because they are either embarrased, or they really want sex right now and know they will not get slept with if they tell. And a few people will do that even if they have HIV.

*cracks knuckles*

ookay bub, you asked for it. Here we go:

Im a relatively young mom (22 with two daughters.. FYI: Loki120 is muh hubby) and I speak from experience in this whole teenage sex arena. My plan is to teach my girls (I will have to think of something if and when we have a boy, so don't think me sexist on this one) that they are stronger than peer pressure and any partner either male or female pressuring them to have sex at such a young age doesn't understand what sex really is. I am going to inform them that sex is very very pleasurable but it's even better when you're truly in love. I'll probably lecture said boyfriend or girlfriend (more on my PFLAG views later!) on how if they were to try and deflower my daughters on a whim they would end up buried in my backyard. I am going to be fully honest with them that sex for all the wrong reasons leads to bad business (IE: STD's, unplanned pregnancy, and can even lead to cervical cancer!!) in the end.

But if push comes to shove, and either one of the kiddo's comes to me and mentions the "S" word, we'll put her on a form of birth control, buy condoms, and then I will pull my hair out.

Shadowman wrote:My mom says it's cool, as long as we use protection.

My mom also has a rule about "Firing off the ol' Shotgun."

"Only in the privacy of your own bedroom.

I have a cool mom.

You have a scary mom.

If I had kids I'd stay away from the subject since for me, mentioning it to anyone you're related to is almost the same as hoping for incest, and its somewhat of an unwritten family rule that NO ONE speaks of.

I'd just make sure any children I had understood that irresponsible sex leads to more issues than it's worth and that they knew what birth control does and does not do.

I would also be sure to communicate that I do not appreciate stupidity to any boy/girlfriends without being all "I KEEL YOU" and such. That's just silly.

The Time Traveller wrote:mentioning it to anyone you're related to is almost the same as hoping for incest

Well, that was absurd.

I don't have kids, primarily because I don't beleive in sex out of wedlock. However, as an interesting note, on the news last night they had some guy suggesting putting BC in bottled water, therefore, all you had to do was buy the bottled water and hey presto, instant protection from unplanned pregnancy.

Then he suggested "vaccinating" children against fertility, so rather then taking BC to stop pregnancy, you'd take an "antedote" to start your fertility again.

He made a rather faecious comment regarding that we'd all think that's repugnant until it was our 8 year old comign and telling us theyr'e pregnant.

Er, eight-year-old? I'm not sure how many people are even physically capable of reproduction at that age...

Granted, the recorded youngest mother was five. But that was an all-around gross case so it's kind of irrelevant.