The Energon Pub

Was it dark out?

Did Diem get eaten by a Grue?

Haha! Hilarious, I gotta say my favorite line was...

Through a combination of well-designed, posable figures, tighty-scripted and amusing shows and, I assume, chicken-based sacrifices Beast Wars turned out to be a huge success,

Can't wait for the end...

Maybe it's like when you're at a gig, and at the end of the show the band steps off the stage to have a beer and a breather. They only come back to play their best song for the encore when the crowd is getting restless and is chanting their name. So, with that in mind...

Diem! Diem! Diem!

I know who it is...

(ahh the joys of having him as a roomie at Botcon)

I'd tell you, but you'd all hate me.

Why hasn't he finished this list? He's written another article in the mean time!

Maybe he's waiting for us to sacrifice a GoBot in his name...

Hip-Hoptimus Rime wrote:Maybe he's waiting for us to sacrifice a GoBot in his name...

Quickly! Someone go get Cy-Kill!

Mykltron wrote:Why hasn't he finished this list? He's written another article in the mean time!

got a link?

Oilspill wrote:Maybe it's like when you're at a gig, and at the end of the show the band steps off the stage to have a beer and a breather. They only come back to play their best song for the encore when the crowd is getting restless and is chanting their name. So, with that in mind...

Diem! Diem! Diem!

Mkall wrote:I know who it is...

(ahh the joys of having him as a roomie at Botcon)

I'd tell you, but you'd all hate me.

He told me that I should know what it is, but I haven't the slightest clue. There's too many possibilities.

Skyfire77 wrote:

Oilspill wrote:Maybe it's like when you're at a gig, and at the end of the show the band steps off the stage to have a beer and a breather. They only come back to play their best song for the encore when the crowd is getting restless and is chanting their name. So, with that in mind...

Diem! Diem! Diem!

lol

Twitchythe3rd wrote:

Hip-Hoptimus Rime wrote:Maybe he's waiting for us to sacrifice a GoBot in his name...

Quickly! Someone go get Cy-Kill!

No no no, sacrifice one no one cares about, like Scooter, or that blue buggy that every kid seemed to have a knockoff of back in 84-85.

Dark Optimum Supreme wrote:

Twitchythe3rd wrote:

Hip-Hoptimus Rime wrote:Maybe he's waiting for us to sacrifice a GoBot in his name...

Quickly! Someone go get Cy-Kill!

No no no, sacrifice one no one cares about, like Scooter, or that blue buggy that every kid seemed to have a knockoff of back in 84-85.

Cy-Kill is the sacrificial GoBot of Transformers fiction. It is tradition for him to die.

Haha it's crazy, I literally had people anxiously asking me what the number 1 figure would be at BotCon. So worth it.

So without further ado...

Some figures are weird when you take them out of their context. Tell someone you have a transforming toaster and they'll look at you as if you just told them you have a transforming toaster. Travel back in time to the seventies and, before you hawk off your time machine to buy a MISB Wheeljack, even before you look up the word "hawk" because it doesn't look right, you'll have to explain to curious onlookers that the biggest show of the decade will involve a robot dinosaur fighting a camera menage-a-trois. But some figures get weirder and weirder the more you know about them.

Never did the weirdness start rolling in more than it did when Japan decided to tackle Beast Wars. Due to syndication rules and the laws of the sea Takara were unable to get their dub on while the series was still being shown in the West. As they say, if you can't join them, beat them. At weirdness.

So between Series 1 and 2 of Beast Wars Japan knocked out Beast Wars II, a series where G2 repaints fought BW repaints while G1 repaints looked on. And also there were some original molds! Despite including space pirates, drunken dragons, the Lion King and heroic peeing this series was no weirder than, say, the average LSD trip.

The sequel, Beast Wars Neo, kicked the craziness all the way up to Huh? While the bad guys were made up mostly of dinosaurs and lizards the heroes included a rabbit, a giraffe and A PENGUIN. Oh, and a mammoth. But one figure stands out even amongst this casual insanity.

The Ultimate Weirdness: Heinrad

Who is Heinrad? And also, how?

First up Heinrad is a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a box covered in some mysterious language (Japanese). There are layers and layers of weirdness, like a psychedelic onion.


Badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

First up, Heinrad's alt mode is a tanuki. What, you might ask, is a tanuki? Go on. Well since you asked, despite certain bad translations tanuki are not raccoons. A raccoon is a svelte, energetic animal prone to play-fighting, scampering and washing its paws while a tanuki is, not to put too fine a point on it, a Snorlax.


"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXX"

But despite being more a footstool than a mammal the tanuki is the subject of many fables in Japan. And because there's no "logical" in "mythological" those fables are bloody weird. Basically the mythological tanuki has a number of characteristics that represent positive qualities such as big eyes for keen observation, a smile for friendliness and...something else, for prosperity.


Danglies, essentially.



Two of the other characteristics are a book of IOUs (representing trust) and a bottle of sake (representing being drunk as a skunk) and Heinrad has those too. Tey even combine into a cannon that fires, I assume, sake-infused empty promises.

In mythology tanuki are clumsy tricksters with great powers and Heinrad is no exception. His powers are as mysterious as they are untranslatable. I would like to frame them with some context. In Japanese continuity all of the heroic Cybertrons have ID numbers like C-1 or C-6 with C standing for Cybertron while all the Destrons are D-whatever with D standing for Donuts. Heinrad, however, despite to all intents being a hero is S-3, with the S designation usually reserved for clandestine third-faction characters. Not only that but with the exception of his rank (a respectable 7) all of his tech specs are simply "?". It soon becomes clear in the cartoon and manga that Heinrad is no ordinary customer; he can freeze, or even reverse time. Even later it is revealed that he is not merely the agent of a Prime or even a Primus; his master is no less than the god of Space-time! Since that's too awesome for Western continuity there he is just a clumsy drunk guy who can't control his powers.


It's time...for time.

Since he's such a timey-dude he has a clock on his chest. And I don't just mean a clock design, or a clock decal; this figure is an actual, bone-a-Fido working alarm clock. It works by pushing his head down. He is the original Chrono Label figure.


Of course the awesome time traveller has goggles. Of course he does.

And that's about it for the insanity of this list. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed procrastinating about it. The next list (which hopefully won't wait until next year) will not be in the toy forums but in the cartoon comics forum! Keep your eyes peeled, fact fans!

Diem happy at last

This list is dedicated to Chupito the rabbit who sadly passed away during the writing of the list. He was weirder and sillier than anything that could appear here.

I actually never thought of this guy being in the list, but I've never paid much attention to him.

Now I need to find one. He actually looks cooler than I thought. Also the fact that he's a robot with alcohol issues is hilarious.

Nice, I had a good chortle at reading that. I do, however, have one complaint:

You are a Doctor Who fan. How could you NOT use the phrase "timey-whimey" in this article!

Mkall wrote:Nice, I had a good chortle at reading that. I do, however, have one complaint:

You are a Doctor Who fan. How could you NOT use the phrase "timey-whimey" in this article!

Knowing that dissapoints me.

Shame on you Diem.

As the first ( and only official ) Transformer toy with testicles, he should have a Courage rating of "Infinite"

Of course! Heinrad! There are none more weird than he.

If I recall, he also stores his spark crystal in his most secret and sensitive of places. Now that's a weird place to keep your spark.

I like the finale.
but you did take the easy way out

So... teaser for the next list?

Name_Violation wrote:

Mykltron wrote:Why hasn't he finished this list? He's written another article in the mean time!

got a link?

2Fast 2Blurrious - This Is The Best Mini-Con Team Ever

This Is Why I Like Transformers Part V

Ah, Heinrad! Yeah, very weird. A tanuki with... danglies. :p

robofreak wrote:

Mkall wrote:Nice, I had a good chortle at reading that. I do, however, have one complaint:

You are a Doctor Who fan. How could you NOT use the phrase "timey-whimey" in this article!

Knowing that dissapoints me.

Shame on you Diem.

He has a pair of timey-wimey balls. There, does that help?

(I was deliberately avoiding references to both Doctor Who and Back to the Future...too easy. Did get one in for Yellow Submarine though.)

I must say Diem, I felt this one to be a letdown. I mean, Heinrad? That's liek the ultimate Transformers cliche of weirdness. It's like he's too weird to even be considered weird. His weirdness transcends weird in that he no longer looks weird whatsoever. He's the guy who's toy everyone points out when they want to talk about how awkward Japan was with Beast Wars. Calling out him on oddness has been done to death, so much so that he doesn't stand out as much anymore.

A good majority of all these other choices are ones that people would chuckle at for looking only a little silly, but then they'd really see the weirdness in them once they read your notes and comments that pointed out such to them. With Heinrad, however, there's no need for such explanations, as anyone can see how weird he is without a second thought.

It's also like how Sports Label and ROTF Demolishor are such obvious choices that also need no explanations. I liked all the ones that seemed normal at first sight, but then only really seemed weird once you explained them. With these other "naturally weird" ones, however, it just seemed more like taking the easy way out to me.

I disagree, Sabrblade. When people see him in my collection, they either think he's adorable(he's always in Tanuki clock mode) or they think that him being Japanese means that all of the weirdness inherent to the figure makes sense, because hey Japanese!(y'know, cause they like weird things)

It's really not until you get into the deeper parts of the character that most people see how strange the character actually is.