The Energon Pub

[Senor Hugo]

For three years now, I've lived in Fort Wayne. For three years we've had Comcast Digital Cable.

I've enjoyed such basic channels as Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Discovery Channel, History Channel, Nickelodean or however it's spelled.

Because we've had the basic cable package.

Now, today, we no longer get those channels. So thinking something is wrong, we call Comcast to come check out the problem.

And we learn, even though we have the comcast cable-box, we were only supposed to get about 12 channels.

For three years Comcast has **** up, not known(neither did we) that we had Limited Basic, not "Expanded Basic" which is what we've been getting.

So, in order to get every channel we've gotten for the last 3 year, we get to spend an additional $30-$40 some dollars, because they **** up.

That is complete bullshit.

This totally justifies 20-30% of the stuff I've been pirating.

[Jeep?]

Want me to kill them with a knife?

[Spoon]

Want me to kill them with a knife?

I suggest a Fork instead. Maybe a Spork if you are generous

[Jeep?]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

[First Gen]

Agreed. Comcast sucks. Unfortunately not even "Bob's Cable Co." is available in my area. You can get DIRECT TV for a lil cheaper but have half the viewing time for no apparant reason.

[Spoon]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

[Jeep?]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

[Spoon]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

[Senor Hugo]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

Eat it to gain their power of course.

[Jeep?]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

Sell them on the black market to pay for Hugo's cable.

[Senor Hugo]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

Sell them on the black market to pay for Hugo's cable.

See, I thought my "eating them to gain their power" idea was good. But I didn't think about that one.

Now I gotta go find something else for dinner.

[Jeep?]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

Sell them on the black market to pay for Hugo's cable.

See, I thought my "eating them to gain their power" idea was good. But I didn't think about that one.

Now I gotta go find something else for dinner.

You can buy the hearts back on the black market.

[Dead Metal]

Or a grapefruit spoon.

Oh yes, those are Vicious. Just stay away from the Tea Spoon's. They are for some reason highly unfit for the killing job.

No, I need the serrated edge that the grapefruit spoon offers. It'll help crack the sternum so I can get at their quivering hearts.

*sage nod* I agree with your methods.
Enlighten me, after that. What will you do with their still beating hearts?

Sell them on the black market to pay for Hugo's cable.

See, I thought my "eating them to gain their power" idea was good. But I didn't think about that one.

Now I gotta go find something else for dinner.

You can buy the hearts back on the black market.

Ore do as Blacky and eat there brains!