We used to hunt down punk-ass Decepticons, step on small dogs, and every once in a while you would take me to the gun show.
But since you landed a role in Dark of the Moon, you've been acting strange. Showing up in new packaging, loosing weight, ignoring your old buddy ratchet...you've changed man.
Remember how proud you were of your awesome guns? I mean, they were essentially your most memorable characteristic. Sometimes, you would even bounce around in the streets purely on cannon fire. Now where are they? Why would you give up your hobby so easily? Why are you over compensating with that...thing:
You used to take better care of yourself too. I remember always being impressed with that high-gloss finish of yours and it doesn't matter how suave Bumblebee looked, you were as sparkly as the tooth-fairy. But now...you can't even get a consistent coat of wax:
Your work ethic is really bad as well. There was a time when your truck bed was closed up because it was full of awesome. Now your bed-liner is broken down and your friends are afraid you have pick-up truck leprosy:
Last thing and then I'll give you some time to think this over...all those steroids are really taking a toll. I think part of your chest has collapsed or that you've suffered a stroke because one side of your body seems to be drooping no matter how we align your chest. Please, don't make us watch you self-destruct:
We want what's best for you Ironhide and I'm afraid that if you don't straighten up, something terrible might happen to you very, very soon.
Your friend,
-Counterpunch
