The Energon Pub

I think just about everyone has had a friend like this at some point or in many cases, been that person.

For me, it was both. The thing is, the answer is different every time but it always lies within somewhere, so there's no blanket solution.

For me, I always had a deep shyness built up inside of me. No one knew just how shy I really was, including me because I'd always be the loud one with the quick joke or the kid who went out stirring up (relatively) harmless trouble. If I wasn't acting quickly I was always second guessing myself so it was basically "say whatever, do whatever" all the time. Problem was, that wasn't the true me.

I really didn't have much problem talking to girls, that is unless I started liking them. Once I liked a girl for 5 minutes, it was all over. I didn't know how to think, how to act, what to say, etc. If a girl I liked gave me a slight compliment like "that's a nice shirt" I'd be floating on air for days. On the other hand, if she said "your shoelace in untied" it could ruin my day.

You could tie a few other things into my struggles with girls, but the biggest problem was that because I didn't really know and trust and respect and understand myself it was very hard to do the same with other people, especially those of the opposite sex who were very different from me.

Of course, when i fifnally met my wife, it helped that she was so shy herself that I was almost forced not to be, because I had to be confident for both of us.

But getting back to your friend, my best advice for you is to just be a good friend to him. Get to know him as well as you possibly can, and along the way you may both start understanding what's holding him back.

If he's like me he doesn't have low self esteem, he just doesn't like people. I like the comic con idea, he might open up more if he's around people who are more like him.

i thoght u were talking abot me as well!! but i dont tell my parents that i want to date some one they pick on me and i never hear the end of it.

What Delicon said is good advice. The problem is your friend sounds like *no offense* a little mommas boy.

I mean there's being shy, and then there's acting like a 5th grader with a smothering crush, and he sounds more like the second.

Does he live with his mom? If yes then the first thing he needs to do is grow up and fly the coop.

Once he gets his own place, gets situated and "out there" in the world and doesn't have his Mom taking care of him all the time, he'll start taking care of himself, grow up more, come out of his shell, etc, etc,.

THEN he should start worrying about dating.

What does he have to offer a woman? Because honestly right now it sounds like nothing.

To be with a woman, you first gotta be a man.

(*bangs Gong all mystical like*)

Malikon wrote:What Delicon said is good advice. The problem is your friend sounds like *no offense* a little mommas boy.

I mean there's being shy, and then there's acting like a 5th grader with a smothering crush, and he sounds more like the second.

Does he live with his mom? If yes then the first thing he needs to do is grow up and fly the coop.

Once he gets his own place, gets situated and "out there" in the world and doesn't have his Mom taking care of him all the time, he'll start taking care of himself, grow up more, come out of his shell, etc, etc,.

THEN he should start worrying about dating.

What does he have to offer a woman? Because honestly right now it sounds like nothing.

To be with a woman, you first gotta be a man.

(*bangs Gong all mystical like*)

Everything, everything you said was true or actually how things are...

Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you.

Does he live with his mom because he has to take care of her? There's a difference between mooching and helping.

robofreak wrote:Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead of you.

Some people are beyond help, unfortunately.