The Energon Pub

[iNote:[b]This is a chapter from my story: Economic Crisis. (fanfiction.net pennname S.teach.SE) General gist: Autobots lose their 'sponserships' due to the human Economic Crisis and must get 'day jobs' in order to pay for their energon needs.[/b]][/i]

Going for a Field Goal

This is the only game that can play for less than an hour – and last for four! Ratchet thought as the referees stopped the game yet again, to go look at an instant replay.

The Mech could’ve told him that guy’s feet were both in when he’d caught that ball; it was so obvious to his sharp optics as he sat there parked right outside of the end zone. But they didn’t hire him to be a referee, they hired him to transport any injured people to the hospital. The two human paramedics that were assigned with him were happily sitting on his hood. Thoroughly enjoying the game!’

“So what do you call?” Jack asked him, patting his hood.

“In bounds,” though the Mech enjoyed being asked, he really didn’t care for the game.

Brad humphed, for he was supporting the other team. Jack patted him on the back, telling him it’d be Ok. Brad was just going to owe him a beer later.

Ratchet chuckled, it still amazed him that humans could be vehemently on opposite sides – but still joke and get along with no ill feelings. He wished the Decepticons could learn to do that!

The crowd roared, the game was finally over! Ratchet expected them to start filing out like they normally did, but the roar got louder. More boos and hisses could be heard. And the loosing team’s supporters seemed to flood out of the stands like a tsunami!

“Oh crap, we got a riot!” Jack shouted.

The lower exits were already blocked with an ocean of fans. Ratchet was beginning to get surrounded. Transforming, he grabbed Jack and Brad and set them on his shoulders. Carefully, he tried to walk over the crowd, trying not to step on anyone.

As he got near the field goal, Ratchet felt humans grabbing onto his legs. Looking down, he couldn’t believe his optics! The darned rioters were climbing him! He plucked a few off, tossing them gently down. But for every one he plucked off, three more took his place.

Cussing, Ratchet felt people climbing up his back. He wanted to bat them off, but he knew he’d hurt the stupid drunk humans. Then more were climbing up his torso.

He felt his knees begin to buckle under the added weight of the dozen or so humans climbing him. Reaching out, he grabbed for the field goal, planning to use it to steady himself. His fingers locked around the sturdy metal structure.

As he leaned against the field goal, he realized it was moving. Not built to handle the weight of a Mech leaning against it, the field goal twisted at its base and began to fall.
Realizing his error, Ratchet tried to push the field goal back upright. This just served to further loosen its base. Now it was swaying from side-to-side.

“You’ve gotta keep it upright until security clears out the rioters!” Brad yelled, as he kicked off some more unauthorized personnel that were trying to climb onto Ratchet’s shoulder.

Jack pushed off another painted up, intoxicated fan. “Brad’s right, if it falls, it’ll land on someone!”

Cussing under his breath, Ratchet slowly made his way to the base of the teetering field goal. Putting one hand on either side, he tried to balance the danged thing. His hydraulics strained as he held the goal post stable for the fifteen minutes it took security to get the rioters somewhat under control.

As they were cleared from around him, Ratchet let go of the goal post. The field goal came crashing to the ground. Stepping over the fallen goal, Ratchet transformed and he and the paramedics went back to work. They had a lot of patients, since there were a lot of injured rioters to attend to.

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“Aye, congrats on that field goal!” Sideswipe said cheerily, as he smacked Ratchet on a door.

Ratchet glared at the Mech, he had no earthly idea what the prankster was talking about.

Ironhide rounded the corner, seeing the medic, his optics lit up. “Hey Ratchet,” he drawled. “Did that count as a field goal or a touch down?”

“What the heck are you two talking about?” Ratchet demanded to know. He hated to be the butt of a joke and not even know what the joke was!

Brawl strolled up, smacking the medic so hard, he almost fell over. “That was really impressive, Ratchet!”

Alright, now Ratchet was very perturbed. Pushing past the Mechs, he strode to the main control room. Demanding to know just what in the devil was going on!

Optimus turned around, cocking his head in amusement at the medic. “Amazing how the results of the game are at the end of the broadcast – but our medic was at the very start!”

“What?!?!” Ratchet asked, incredulously.

Jazz and Prime moved to the side, and the six o’clock broadcast was just beginning. Sure enough there was clear footage of Ratchet stepping over the goal post, with the caption: First Autobot Field Goal.

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Please review…

I like it! Most certainly a different idea than we've seen around here! I like it!

In fact, would you mind if I stole the basis, the Autobots loose sponsorships and they have to get every day jobs? I have a great one brewing for Trailbreaker and/or Reflector. Just wanted to ask first, the polite thing to do and all!

Also, from a comedic stand point, it might have worked better if instead of Ratchet stepping over the goal line, one of the humans he flicked off of him went sailing through the uprights. At the goal on the other end of the field! I'm insane, I know, but I know comedy!