chuck norris vs. jesus
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chuck norris vs. jesus
Now thats a hard one
On one hand you have jesus son of god yeah we all know about him
but then theres chuck norris
who might was well be god
On one hand you have jesus son of god yeah we all know about him
but then theres chuck norris
who might was well be god
- honeykid
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Chuck Norris
Proof
-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
-In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
-It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
Facts About Chuck Norris
Proof
-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
-In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
-It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
Facts About Chuck Norris
- Knight Hawk
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Wouldn't Jesus tell Chuck Norris to kill him as a sacrifice and Chuck Norris is about to, but then... Batman jumps in and stops this madness.
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Knight Hawk wrote:Chuck Norris
Proof
-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
-In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
-It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
Facts About Chuck Norris
after that you became my hero
- honeykid
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Knight Hawk wrote:Chuck Norris
Proof
-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
-In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
-It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
Facts About Chuck Norris
Well put...

- Thanatos Prime
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honeykid wrote:Knight Hawk wrote:Chuck Norris
Proof
-The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
-In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
-In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
-It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
-If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
-When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
Facts About Chuck Norris
after that you became my hero
Unfortunately I am only repeating these great works of others, but I can't help that they make everyone giggle

- Knight Hawk
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As seen in Thanatos prime's Sig!
Shadowman wrote:Bruce Lee could kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Bruce Lee didn't die from a brain problem. He died because God realized Bruce had become too powerful.
Mr. Lee got his post-mortem revenge by killing God.
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Steam Nickname: Big Chief Devil Hawk Fireball

Shadowman's awesome site for cool people.
Shadowman's awesome comic for cool people.
"Falling is really just flying downward and out of control."
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
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Shadowman - God Of Transformers
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Shadowman wrote:As seen in Thanatos prime's Sig!Shadowman wrote:Bruce Lee could kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Bruce Lee didn't die from a brain problem. He died because God realized Bruce had become too powerful.
Mr. Lee got his post-mortem revenge by killing God.
AND THE TRUTH HAS BEEN SPOKEN!!!

Bruce Lee is definetly not Jesus, therefore Norris must win...


- Thanatos Prime
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- DeceptiGojira
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Thanatos Prime wrote:Shadowman wrote:As seen in Thanatos prime's Sig!Shadowman wrote:Bruce Lee could kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Bruce Lee didn't die from a brain problem. He died because God realized Bruce had become too powerful.
Mr. Lee got his post-mortem revenge by killing God.
AND THE TRUTH HAS BEEN SPOKEN!!!![]()
Bruce Lee is definetly not Jesus, therefore Norris must win...
Man love posts like this, they just make me want to live in the Internet!

Jeep! wrote:Why do I imagine Dead Metal sounding exactly like Arnie?
Intah-wib-buls?
Blurrz wrote:10/10
Leave it to Dead Metal to have the word 'Pronz' in his signature.
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Dead Metal - God Of Transformers
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Dead Metal wrote:Man love posts like this, they just make me want to live in the Internet!
I am Sooooooo using that as a sig quote!
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Knight Hawk wrote:Dead Metal wrote:Man love posts like this, they just make me want to live in the Internet!
I am Sooooooo using that as a sig quote!
I am honored!

Jeep! wrote:Why do I imagine Dead Metal sounding exactly like Arnie?
Intah-wib-buls?
Blurrz wrote:10/10
Leave it to Dead Metal to have the word 'Pronz' in his signature.
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Dead Metal - God Of Transformers
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Oh I know the answer, um lets see, Chuck norris is so great he IS Jesus. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
That wasn't even funny.

That wasn't even funny.
Last edited by SilentBlaster on Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I need an energon donation so I can kick your butt.
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Deathstorm wrote:Oh I know the answer, um lets see, Chuck norris is so great he IS Jesus. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.![]()
That wasn't even funny.
Chuck Norris stopped being funny a while ago.
He's like Pokemon; he was cool for a while, then he kind of fizzled out.
Sidekick= Saiya_Maximal
Steam Nickname: Big Chief Devil Hawk Fireball

Shadowman's awesome site for cool people.
Shadowman's awesome comic for cool people.
"Falling is really just flying downward and out of control."
Steam Nickname: Big Chief Devil Hawk Fireball

Shadowman's awesome site for cool people.
Shadowman's awesome comic for cool people.
"Falling is really just flying downward and out of control."
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
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Shadowman - God Of Transformers
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WHAT! Chuck Norris is the God of cool. The only man alive that can slam a revolving door, roundhouse kick you back in time, and be his own father.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
That says it all
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
That says it all

- Knight Hawk
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Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Nuff Said
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Nuff Said
- Knight Hawk
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Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight

- OptimusN1701
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OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0 (i so hope they dont make transforming star trek figures next the star wars were bad enough) hey when hot rod opened the matrix it was chuck norris that came out and opend up with a round house kick in side of unicron.
- Saber_Wulf
Saber_Wulf wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0
And what exactly is that supposed to mean?

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And after that, Norris got killed due to multiple stab wounds from shards of Unicron's debris.Saber_Wulf wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0 (i so hope they dont make transforming star trek figures next the star wars were bad enough) hey when hot rod opened the matrix it was chuck norris that came out and opend up with a round house kick in side of unicron.
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Deadpool. wrote:And after that, Norris got killed due to multiple stab wounds from shards of Unicron's debris.Saber_Wulf wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0 (i so hope they dont make transforming star trek figures next the star wars were bad enough) hey when hot rod opened the matrix it was chuck norris that came out and opend up with a round house kick in side of unicron.


- OptimusN1701
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dff Chuck Norris can't be killed by anyone but Chuck Norris.... and that would end the universe as well

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OptimusN1701 wrote:Saber_Wulf wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0
And what exactly is that supposed to mean?
The connotation for "Trekkie" is usually an overweight male in their mother's basement, with no life to speak of, and usually speaks Klingon.
Don't get me wrong, this is, for the most part, untrue. My dad, for example, is married (To my mom) has four kids (One of which is me) has a pretty sweet job, and can afford to feed us. He's also a Trekkie, and the only one I can hold a conversation with involving sci-fi.
And, to finish this, Chuck Norris jokes got old quite a while ago.
Sidekick= Saiya_Maximal
Steam Nickname: Big Chief Devil Hawk Fireball

Shadowman's awesome site for cool people.
Shadowman's awesome comic for cool people.
"Falling is really just flying downward and out of control."
Steam Nickname: Big Chief Devil Hawk Fireball

Shadowman's awesome site for cool people.
Shadowman's awesome comic for cool people.
"Falling is really just flying downward and out of control."
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
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Shadowman - God Of Transformers
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Shadowman wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Saber_Wulf wrote:OptimusN1701 wrote:Norris is not invincible, he can be killed by a small coalition of heroes and a dismembered black knight
yeah says the trekie hmm . o 0
And what exactly is that supposed to mean?
The connotation for "Trekkie" is usually an overweight male in their mother's basement, with no life to speak of, and usually speaks Klingon.
Don't get me wrong, this is, for the most part, untrue. My dad, for example, is married (To my mom) has four kids (One of which is me) has a pretty sweet job, and can afford to feed us. He's also a Trekkie, and the only one I can hold a conversation with involving sci-fi.
And, to finish this, Chuck Norris jokes got old quite a while ago.
Well, I'm an engaged college student who works in a bank full-time, and I dont speak Klingon(not that theres anything wrong with that)
I could stand to lose a couple of pounds though, but other than that I guess that I dont fit the "typical" trekkie

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