The Energon Pub

Renne wrote:Brb, going back into the kitchen to bake Burn a pie. YEAH I KNOW MY PLACE.

Burn wrote:

Renne wrote:Brb, going back into the kitchen to bake Burn a pie. YEAH I KNOW MY PLACE.

Meh. I don't really care. In all honesty I posted all of that during vacation, in which I never saw ladies that I was in contact with in my hometown, and I hadn't seen my good friends in ages. Nonetheless, If I was in the same mood back then right now, I'd probably care that you were somewhat mocking me, but at the moment I don't really give a fat **** who you are and what you think.



~Blurrz

"Somewhat" mocking you? Only in like, the first paragraph. And maybe the second one. But... "somehwat"? MAN, I've lost my touch. But seriously though, there's usually a lot of girl hatin' what goes on in threads like this. I hate having to be That Person who gets all lol defensive.

Nah, I have a lot of respect for woman, maybe TOO much. XD After finding out 'who you are', I guess hey, thanks for the input. I know I was being whiny and blah blah blah, it was a bad day all around, and I couldn't seem to get any 'high's during the time I posted it originally.

Son, you can never have too much respect for anyone.

I think everyone here who's posted in this thread is in my highest regard, as I know I'm not alone, and no on really made fun or agitated me

Blurrz wrote:I think everyone here who's posted in this thread is in my highest regard,

I'd post a witty response, but I've fallen into tvtropes and I can't get out.

Hang around for a bit over the hour and i'm sure the HMAS Hammersley will rescue you.

And when they do, WE'LL HIJACK THE SHIP!

*sigh* Probably a good thing I wasn't able to accept their offer for a role on Sea Patrol, I wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to hijack the ship/kidnap a crew member like they do every week.

Renne,

Thank you so much. Whew. For a while there I was actually turning into a Somewhat Bearable Person to Be Around. I suspect some people might actually have mistaken me for Decent Human Being. Close call. Then you came into my life and I remembered why I hate people.

I would say that you are everything wrong with the internet's anonymity, but that makes you sound way cooler and more impressive than you are. I don't know what well of sadness and loss you are trying to cover over by being so nasty (and ineptly so), but I feel, honestly, sorry for you. Obviously somewhere in your life you opened up to someone and got kicked in the teeth for it, so you've decided that that's how everyone should be treated. That's really sad. I sincerely hope, with the last bit of Decent Human I have left, that some time in your life you work through that.

It took my (adopted nephew) Blurrz a lot of courage to post so openly about his life. It takes NO courage to act like a poop-throwing monkey as you did.

HK, dear mods: ban me if you want for this.

I'd also like to congratulate Blurrz for taking my post in a dignified manner, and in entirely the spirit it was meant. Cheers, mate.

He's Canadian, THEY get the Australian humour. Comes from being part of the Commonwealth I guess.

Blurrz, I'll give you the same advice I give to any American/Canadian/European that has the same problem as you -

Move to my country (Philippines) for a while. I GUARANTEE you one of two things will happen.

A) You will love the culture here. It's everything you've ever wanted and you will be happy, romantically involved and financially stable.

B) You will move back to Canada in a couple of months with a new found appreciation for just how damn good you have it over there, and the night terrors of your harrowing ordeal in this horrible place will fade in time.

Burn wrote:He's Canadian, THEY get the Australian humour. Comes from being part of the Commonwealth I guess.

Ah, the Commonwealth. What would we do without our colonial brethren?

Nickolai is right: the Philippines are *awesome*. You MUST go. The country is beautiful, the people are laid back, and the women are adorable. And their military uniforms are cute. Their jump wings are the best in my collection. Okay, maybe tied with the Thai ones. (I like glittery things).

Just avoid the Abu Sayyaf regions. Not so adorable there. And the climate starts to suck in full body armor.

Renne, sorry I don't appreciate your sense of 'humour'. The misogyny is hard to take with a giggle.


HK, putting the Ms in misanthropy.

hellkitty wrote:Renne, sorry I don't appreciate your sense of 'humour'. The misogyny is hard to take with a giggle.

Wait, what?

Misogyny? Did you completely miss the way I was saying repeatedly how I hate how guys on male-dominated forums often slam our gender?

Renne wrote:Misogyny? Did you completely miss the way I was saying repeatedly how I hate how guys on male-dominated forums often slam our gender?

It's true. Because we live in the same country she's taken to sending me parcel bombs through the snail mail system.

Lost my eyebrows once I did because I was expecting a package from someone else and in my haste to open it I didn't screen it and boom! No more eyebrows.

Yeah, well, lesson here is don't post when you have a 102 fever and can't see straight. Damn you, touch typing ability that allows me to type without seeing!

So, I'm an idiot. I thought you were being mean, and I stupidly jumped in to stick up for someone who obviously didn't need my help. Tired of woman-bashing, man-bashing, any sort of collective-group bashing. Bashing men for bashing women....whatever. I'm old. I'm tired. It's just not funny to me. My problem, sorry to ruin your fun.

I'm going to go sweat, throw up and be yellow, not in that order. About the only things I'm good for at the moment.

HK, go to a beautiful tropical country, get malaria. That's my luck.

Burn wrote:

Renne wrote:Misogyny? Did you completely miss the way I was saying repeatedly how I hate how guys on male-dominated forums often slam our gender?

It's true. Because we live in the same country she's taken to sending me parcel bombs through the snail mail system.

Lost my eyebrows once I did because I was expecting a package from someone else and in my haste to open it I didn't screen it and boom! No more eyebrows.

You said you liked my parcel bombs. Would you like them more if they included nails and other shrapnel?

Yes. Yes I would.

Renne wrote::( Would you like them more if they included nails and other shrapnel?

So I know that this thread has kind of strayed from what it originally began as, and truth be told I at least was hoping that we'd have a new place to kvetch becasue of this threads' existence, and that's what I'm intending to do. Today at least.
So, I'm an out of work teacher and the new school year is rapidly approching and I still have nothing on the horizon job-wise. Over the years I've grown really disenfranchised with teaching in general, and honestly, I don't care how callous this may sound, but the only thing that keeps me looking for a teaching job for this year is the prospect of the money. I know that's awful, because what I should be saying is that "teachers have the most important job in the world, and they do it for selfless reasons and a deeply rooted desire to make the world a better place," but I dont believe any of that anymore. I would like it to not be grossly misunderstood here, I love actually being in my classroom and foolin around with students, that's the best. But all the other stuff, like mandates and administration and stuff, fooey. Yeah, I know, everyone has to deal with those things at their jobs, I know.
Anyhow, my problems began last Tuesday. I had an interview with a tutoring company that, in all oftheir literature and even on their website and the person I spoke to on the phone to set up my interview with, masqueraded themselves as being a real school. But they're one of those supplimentary tutoring services, and not a school at all. For almost a week leading up to this interview I was so geared up, just thinking 'oh dude, interview at a suburban Chicago school (around Chicago way, those suburban schools are great places to end up), my troubles may be over.' And then when I got there, I was just devestated. Since this thread was started to discuss ways to deal with our depression (IIRC) I just wanted to say. It took me until Saturday to lift myself off the couch. The only uplifting thing that happened between Tuesday night and Saturday morning was that my girlfriend and I finally put my Lovecraft statues on display, including Dagon, which, happens to be my favorite. But that's a pointless aside in itself. I wouldn't get off my couch if the building was on fire. My body hurt, I had no energy or hunger or anything. I just sat there like a blob of pigeon ****. My girlfriend came over Saturday morning and woke me up, sleeping on the couch. To be honest, I'm surprised I even bothered to change my clothes and stuff during that time. I was just so devesated that it hurt. And for most of that time I had to keep pretending like I was ok, becuase my unemployment and my shifty moods are real tough on my girlfriend also, and it's so not fair to her that she has to put up with me. Thursday she was giving me this sort of uplifting talk for the umpteenth time in like four months and I swear to god she was getting ready with every second to say that she has had enough and was leaving me. (She didn;t, if anyone was curious)
Saturday morning I started feeling a little more like myself though. Took a nap with my girlfriend and that was real nice. Went out to a friends' that evening and that was nice. My brother, who's leaving for college in a week and a few days, came by last night and we had dinner, he, the little lady and I, wherein she revealed to my brother that I had quit smoking, after having been a smoker for ten years, ALL WITHOUT HIS KNOWING. That one just blew me away, as she knew that he never knew I was a smoker. She was all embarrassed at having spilld the beans but neither he nor I really cared. I kind of think it funny, honestly.
So, I don;t know what the point of this is/was/would have been. I think I just wanted to type a bunch of nothing. That thing on Tuesday, I was just so crushed. Like, even this morning, I'm moving around and stuff, but its like no one's really at home. I guess all that really matters is that I'm still on the job hunt, and my girlfriend didn't leave me when I would have bet my soul that every next word from her mouth is going to be "I'm leaving," but carryin' on is getting to be real tough.
Thanks to anyone who listened.

Dagon,

Haven't seen you around in a while. Missed you.

To the point, though: Everyone who teaches has that "What the hell was I thinking?" phase. It's not a moment; it doesn't pass really easily. I'm just saying just because you're having second thoughts, don't take that as a sign that you're not meant for the job. The people who run away screaming from teaching are the ones that hate the classroom. And the classroom is what and who you're doing it for.

I probably sound really noble, but to be honest, I'm teaching a 3 week college-success seminar primarily because it's a ridiculous amount of money. I teach 3 hours a day, and get paid for four credit hours of a full semester class. And I've taught it for four years so my prep is basically, 'what the hell did I do last year again?'. The class doesn't 'work'--we don't have significantly higher student retention or significantly higher GPAs. I've seen the studies on the program. So, I'm mercenary. Let's be honest, all of that 'teach because you love it' stuff is 9 times out of 10 a BS story they throw at you to try to deny paying you, oh, I don't know, a *liveable wage*?! Seriously. Tell someone you teach and that you want a pay raise. NOOOOOO!! You're supposed to do it because you love teaching and other people's ill-behaved children. You want to get *paid* for it, too?!

The problem with the job market, especially out where you are, is the unions. Teaching unions (primary and secondary school, especially) are your best friend if you make it in. From the outside, though, they keep incompetent teachers in classrooms and shut the door on new hires. You might consider (they'd be hiring now) adjuncting at your local comm coll. It wouldn't be huge money, but it would be a) a job, b) teaching experience and c) perhaps a foot in the door. Who knows, you might decide you like teaching comm coll. (I've taught at UNC Chapel Hill and at comm coll, and you'll never see me in front of a classroom of self-anointed high school valedictorians again!) The students in comm coll are probably, attitudinally, what you'd like. And you have a lot more freedom to teach your stuff, your way--I have course objectives, yeah, but no one tells me HOW to teach them or that I'll be fired if X number of students don't pass. All the stuff you said you hated, 80% of it either we don't have in comm coll or doesn't really cause a problem. You might consider it. Yeah it would be even more school. That's why I think you could try adjuncting first to test the waters.

Okay, career advice over.

That kind of event is devastating, so don't beat yourself up about taking it hard. NOt at all similar, but when my (now fantabulously ex) husband wanted a divorce, I think I sat on the floor of my living room for about three days. Not watching tv, not doing anything. Just sitting there. (Thankfully, cats get hungry and they bite so I had to at least feed them). The important thing to think is that there are people who care about you (your family, your girlfriend, etc). If you feel you're annoying them or bringing them down, try this: ask them. Oftentimes what we think the other person's feeling is really just our projection of what we fear their feeling--so we can use it to make ourselves feel even *worse*. (For some reason, every human I've ever met is really really good at this). Ask them how they feel, and you might be surprised. Often what you take as bad feelings is really their frustration not over *you*, but that they can't do anything to fix it for you or make it better.

HK, illegitimis nil carborundum.

hellkitty wrote:Dagon,

Haven't seen you around in a while. Missed you.

Oh, come on. Nobody really ever misses me. Why, just this morning I posted for the first time in over a week, regarding the change in names for the reissue Insecticons, and was told I was whining too much about the name change. How's that for being missed?

Anyway, I didn't mean that previous sentence in any degree of seriousness, so please don't YOU take it the wrong way.

You know what makes me feel better hellkitty? The fact, yeah verilym the fact, that a person who amounts to an anonymous stranger on a friggin' board about toys takes even a passing interest in what bugs me. That brightens the hell out of my day. It really, truly does.

Yes, teaching is overrated and blown up into this altrusitic career which when it comes down to the brass tacks is exactly what you've described. Here, let me put up with your (not yours, you know what I mean) snotty little demons and know forever that if they somehow don't live a life that they dream of it's my fault for being a poopy teacher. And all the problems of the civilized world rest on my shoulders. I think it was two years ago, Chicago Public Schools had something like 79 students who were killed, and the general decrying against teachers not doing our part to safeguard the children was nausiating. Yes, it was a tragedy, but I'm not responsible for someone else's child if they get shot at at 3 in the morning, or its summer vacation. My girlfriend 'reassures' me that I'll be teaching in a few weeks because I've been getting so vitriolic about being a teacher, and so karma will **** me (I typed a different word, in case the auto-censor turns that into ****s on me again) right back into a teaching job. And I know that those programs like the one you teach don't do anything, at the high school level we get that kind of b.s. all the time too. They don't improve jack, but some ass made a ton of money selling it to a school district. A few years back, CPS spent like three million dollars on a computerized attendance program that three years later, still doens't work anywhere near how it was supposed to.
As for the comm colleges, that would be like a dream come true for me, but I'm not finished with my Masters as of yet, so I think I'm 'unqualified', despite the City Colleges of Chicago being absolutely useless money swindling organizations and the very word 'college' is cheapened by the association.
I know what you mean about people wishing they could help us and being frustrated that they cannot. I think my girlfriend gets thay way, but I'm at the point where I feel like every breath I take I let her down, and my brother makes these really poopy insinuations about how at this point I should take any job that there is just so as to have a job. Listen, I'm not above that, but its the way he insinuates it. My sister emailed me a posting for janitorial work and was all poopy about it, and all the while, she's 23, entering her 7th year as an undergrad student, and has half of her bills payed for by ME, who's unemployed. She's so ungrateful that it makes me want to disown her. She of course, causes friction in my relationship with the miss, and that's one relationship I sure as heck don't want to jeopardize. So, I sit. Just sit, right there, for what seems like forever.
Every morning I wake up and try to psyche myself up to come to my university and scoure the city for work, and when I get back home again, it's just like, why? I could have sat here, all day, and watched commercials about how some fly-by-night buisness 'school' can set me on a path to a better life than my expensive degree from DePaul did, or how a GED is the key to my future, except that I screwed up and did it the right way the first time.
I guess, all in all, I really did just want to vent, and thanks again hellkitty, cause you always seem to be the one who responds to me. I really do appreciate your conversation.