The Energon Pub

That scene with Thundercacker printing out the photograph made no sense then and less sense now.

Yes, Reflector is weird as a toy and character, making little to no sense and qualifying as weird.

Not sure if this should be in the weirdest,the worst,the uglyest or most useless transformers of all time but ROTF Ejector fits in every catagory.
He's a toaster for funks sake only capable of burning finger tips if hunger gets the best of you and that face is just not transformer friendly,
The only thing i can give him is that he's unique as the only transformer kitchen appliance ever atleast to my knowledge.

Messiah Complex wrote:Not sure if this should be in the weirdest,the worst,the uglyest or most useless transformers of all time but ROTF Ejector fits in every catagory.
He's a toaster for funks sake only capable of burning finger tips if hunger gets the best of you and that face is just not transformer friendly,
The only thing i can give him is that he's unique as the only transformer kitchen appliance ever atleast to my knowledge.

But again, he makes perfect sense in context. He's not a Transformer to begin with, he's a normal toaster given life by the Allspark. That certainly explains his odd alt-mode and atypical appearance.

I thought Reflector would be higher on the list.

By the way, are you sticking with actually TRANSFORMING Transformers, and ones in actual Transformer lines (non-crossovers) for this, Diem? Or should we be prepared to see Softimus Prime and Slumblebee, Spudimus Prime, and those new egg things?

Valandar wrote:By the way, are you sticking with actually TRANSFORMING Transformers, and ones in actual Transformer lines (non-crossovers) for this, Diem? Or should we be prepared to see Softimus Prime and Slumblebee, Spudimus Prime, and those new egg things?

Generally speaking things that are intended to be weird or quirky will not be included.

Glad you have gotten a new list going mein freund. Loving it so far, especially the microcombiner mention. I had the front half of shuttle, back half of hovercraft when I was young that I loved. I even had the green constructicon knock-off guys. But I must ask, shall we see R.i.D/Car Robots Megatron in this list? Or perphaps the Sports Label figures? Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Optimutt wrote:

Optimum Supreme wrote:

quote]

This picture of Opti-pee Magnus is awesome! And not just for the rare Sunstreaker and two variants of Mirage.

Sunstreaker? I thought that was yellow Sideswipe?

Cosmos has to be in there surely. Talk about weird the guy was a flying saucer FFS so much for a disguise!

Diem used Humor!

It's Super Effective!

Forgotten wrote::KREMZEEK: Glad you have gotten a new list going mein freund. Loving it so far, especially the microcombiner mention. I had the front half of shuttle, back half of hovercraft when I was young that I loved. I even had the green constructicon knock-off guys. But I must ask, shall we see R.i.D/Car Robots Megatron in this list? Or perphaps the Sports Label figures? Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

In my childhood I felt the front half of the grey radar truck and the back half of the space shuttle looked amazing together.

...I was a weird kid.

Alright, now, back to work! We're anxiously awaiting the next entry!

Sorry about the delay, I had a non-stop weekend. #8 should be going up tonight.

Time for yet another magical dose of unadulterated weird:

#8:Under-3

Who?

If the name Under-3 didn't just make you nod and go "Oooohhhhhhhh, of course, Under-3" already then I'm about to blow your mind. Under-3 is potentially the most awesome figure you never heard of.

First up, his robot mode bears a strong resemblance to that of Optimus Primal while his alt mode is that of a lion. That's right, your infamous Beast Wars/Beast Wars 2 fanfic "Best Wars" is now a reality. Plus rather than a normal Transformer name like Chargespray, a bizarre Latin name like Ferramagnus Prime or a fanfic name like Death Starfire he has a super cool codename. Under-3?! Could he be the third in a series of ultra powerful Primal clones?


In fact could he be the greatest ever figure and the incarnation of pure awesome oh wait no.

Do we even need to ask where this gets weird?


Beast Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Well, that wasn't quite what I was expecting. But cheap though he looks and simple though his transformation is maybe the magic is in the alt-mode.


"Sir Hartley Fawcett, crackshot big game hunter, famous for his slogan "shoot 'em right between the eyes!" was eaten late last night by two one-eyed lions walking arm in arm."

Maybe not. He transforms into a head on his own, and presumably his co-Maximals carry him around like something out of a Greek myth. The only place this guy would be able to hide is on the wall of a big game hunter.


Fffffffffffffffffffffff....

To be fair to Under-3 he is a MacRipoff and he is intended for very young children. In fact that's where his name comes from, he's for under-3-year-olds! See what they did there. Sadly while this guy isn't very likely to show up in future fiction (and his future of his Masterpiece figure is a little shaky) he'll always have a special place in my heart, just above my MacDonalds-crippled liver.

#8: Honourable Weirdness


One shall stand, one shall cute.

Chances are you're not familiar with Choro-Q, a series of Japanese car toys that's as long-lived and ubiquitous there as Matchbox cars are in the west. The biggest differences is that the Choro Q cars are styled to be cute rather than realistic and they invariably have pull-back motors.

As a wee mini factoid for those who are reading this list for education rather than irreverence (you poor trusting fools) you may be aware that early Transformer toys came from two lines, one of which featured scaled down cars and jets (eg Prowl, Sunstreaker) and one which featured life-sized gadgets (eg. Soundwave, Laserbeak). What you may not know is that the Minibots like Huffer, Bumblebee et al are from the second group, their alt-modes are life-sized Choro Q cars. For real. That's why they have those cutesy dimensions.

Later on Choro Q later introduced a robot subline featuring Japanese mecha such as Getter-3 (it's okay if you don't know who Getter-3 is, even Getter-2 doesn't know who he is) and eventually because everything has to be meta at some point they introduced a Transformers subline to this subline. This led to cute versions of Rodimus, Optimus and Megatron that turned into cutesy alt modes.

So why am I picking on Megatron? Quite apart from the fact that he's now a tiny tyrant, remember I said every Choro-Q toy had a pull back motor? Every Choro Q toy had a pull back motor.


Prepare a stiff drink and go to 1:39.

Anyway, that's it for this time. One thing I do want feedback on is that I'm thinking of starting a Twitter in order to produce little Diem-esque statements on the latest Transformers news. I was just wondering if anyone thinks it would be a good or bad idea and whether they'd follow it or not.

Say goodbye to the universe, Maximals! The future has changed. Yessssss. The Autobots lose! Diem's list of the 10 Weirdest Toys triumphs! And you...YOU NO LONGER EXIST!

"clicks on video, goes to 1:39"
Who in the hell thought of this? Honorable Weirdness #8 What do you have that can top the stupidity of this?

Side Note: I hope you do make the twitter page. I still laugh at the T-Rex/toddler line you had in the last list.

Nemesis251 wrote:"clicks on video, goes to 1:39"
Who in the hell thought of this? Honorable Weirdness #8 What do you have that can top the stupidity of this?

Stupid like an awesome! I feel at least a faint affection towards all the figures on this list but the Choro Qs are extra special.

Ah under-3. he who's alt form is only relivent for going undercover as the dismembered head of Aslan.

Diem wrote:Prepare a stiff drink and go to 1:39.

That has got to be one of the strangest things I have ever seen on a Transformer.

WeatherManNX01 wrote:

Diem wrote:Prepare a stiff drink and go to 1:39.

That has got to be one of the strangest things I have ever seen on a Transformer.

Or most awesome!!!

Editor wrote:Ah under-3. he who's alt form is only relivent for going undercover as the dismembered head of Aslan.

Believe it or not I was seriously considering doing that very same joke. After all Aslan gets all diembodied all over the place. You can't so much as attempt to abandon your kingdom in order to explore or cast a spell to make yourself look prettier without Aslan's face getting all up in your face.

Good thing you didn't make the same joke or i would have had to come up with something much less snarky than that.

BTW, love that you are doing another list Diem, keep em coming.

I finally have a twitter! Follow me to get tiny bite-sized chunks of my feelings about Transformerdom.

http://twitter.com/#!/DiemTF

Diem wrote:I finally have a twitter! Follow me to get tiny bite-sized chunks of my feelings about Transformerdom.

http://twitter.com/#!/DiemTF

Sure thing. that gives you 2 followers.

I did have another idea for #7 (but now you'll never know what it waaaa-aaaas) but in honour of one of the rumoured figures for Botcon I'm gonna be doing a little bit of role reversal. Rather than a weird figure in a normal context this is going to be a normal figure in a context that is underwear-on-the-head-weird.

#7: Autorooper Autolooper Autowooper Bob

Who?

I have magical powers: with just two words I can make half my readers disappear! Kiss Players!

For those of you who remain, well maybe you don't know what Kiss Players is. Maybe you think it's a series about a transforming Gene Simmons. Maybe you ARE Gene Simmons. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a quick explanation of Kiss Players. It's the series where post-pubescent girls who are drawn to very much look like pre-pubescent girls merge with Autobots (by, yes, kissing them) to battle Legion, an army of Megatron-alikes with incredibly prehensile tongues. Along the way they get near naked, end up in cosplay costumes, form a band and have lots of interactions with tentacles. Yet again, I am not kidding.

This is already weird and we didn't even get to the first picture and amusing caption! I'm scared!

Well that wasn't even a question. I don't know what to tell you, mysterious reader who speaks in bold.

I don't want to get into an argument about whether the Japanese obsession with young-looking flat-chested girls is any more or less healthy than the Western obsession with plastic-looking big-breasted girls because frankly I've done enough jailtime. But I will say this; Kiss Players brought us one of the most mysterious and compelling characters since Sixknight: Autolooper.


"Why don't you just take a seat over there."

While the other two figures in the main Kiss Players line were, in no particular order, Sir Rodimus of Convoy and Convoy esq. deceased, the other figure was Automooper. An unusual re-use of the Jazz/Shockwave Binaltech mold this one figure represented a literal police force of characters. At a time when Galvatron's evil was infesting the Earth the EDC was forced to resort to robot troopers partnered with human girls. One such girl, Atari Hitotonari (more on her later) teamed up with a particular AutoOompa-Loompa and together they had wacky adventures.


"If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. He pulls a gun, you pull a stack of traffic cones."

All you army builders out there, I haven't quite forgiven you for sweeping the shelves of Scourge and being a scourge on buying sweeps but this is the perfect figure for you. In fiction Autoblooper is, like, 40 guys and the toy comes with a sticker sheet that allows him to be inducted into a number of different squads. In short he is one of those rare figures who is designed purely to be a drone.


In fact the new official motto of the Japanese police force is "I'm, like, 40 guys."



In Japan the above character is called Megidramon. Or possibly Megidoramon. As you lovely geniuses may have already noticed his name is a pun on both Meggido and Dragon. In English you have to read it one way or the other, like those pictures where you think it's two faces but then you notice it's also a penis. In Japanese, it's entirely possible to see both readings at the same time. It's the same for Autogroover, whose name is both "Auto" and "Trooper" at the same time, which is a brilliant pun in Japanese and makes westerners' brains explode.

Anyway, Autocheetor is possibly the best thing to come out of Kiss Players, despite being the product of very strange circumstances.

#7: Honourable Weirdness


No Transformers figure should come with something that looks like an inflatable sex doll.


NO TRANSFORMERS FIGURE.

I'll be back! Even if it takes 6 more weird toys, I'LL BE REVENGED ON YOU ALL!

Good entry, I actually cracked up when you called him "Autocheetor". Keep it up.