Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

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Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Sun Jul 23, 2017 11:27 pm

(Author’s note: The main characters of this collection of short stories are the 5 original Stunticons (Motormaster, Dragstrip, Wildrider, Breakdown and Dead End). For frame of reference, I’m using their personalities from Marvel G1 in their Combiner Wars bodies. Blackjack and Bombshell are also pseudo-main characters, for reasons you will learn if you choose to read. The stories are being told from Dragstrip’s 1st person perspective. As the reader, you're someone he's talking to, with a few asides (marked by separated paragraphs) to other characters passing through the scene. They take place in the G1 comic or cartoon timelines. I haven’t written fanfic in a long time, I hope you enjoy.)


Hey! Mind if I take a seat? Anyone else sitting here? No? Thanks! Looks like a full house tonight, this is the only open spot! I don't recall your face, do you come here often? No? Oh, first timer! Hah, you're in for a treat here, my friend! Maccadam’s Old Oilhouse is not only a place famous on Cybertron, but in surrounding star systems as well. It may be on the Transformers’ home world, but its clientele is as diverse as there are planets in the Milky Way galaxy. The sign over the front door says “Oilhouse” but you can get almost any type of drink you desire. Maccadam caters to all customers who pass through from all corners of the galaxy. You got interstellar freight pilots, soldiers on leave from one war or another, unsavory characters on the run from whatever law is where they come from, bounty hunters, thrill seekers, and of course the local bots who come in after working whatever job they have or whatever hustle they’re through pulling for the day. Autobot, Decepticon, NAIL, it doesn’t matter. Here, they’re just Transformers. Sure, some fights break out once in a while over this, that or the other, but Maccadam is an old bot with a long history of impeccable service and top-quality product, and he has the respect of everyone who steps through that door, allegiances or views on the world be damned. Considering the crew I hang around with, this place does for me exactly what it’s supposed to do: let me wind down after some of the shenanigans my buddies and I get into more often than not. And let me tell you, we get into some rust-inducing adventures for sure. If you got the time, I can tell you a few stories over some high-octane energon, or even a few shots of 100-proof Engex, if your fuel pump can handle it.

Hey, bartender! A couple cans of straight energon for my friend and I!

My treat. I’m not sure how many I’m gonna have, tomorrow is an important day. We got big business in the Sea of Rust, my friends and I. Can’t tell you what it is, but it’s something Shockwave and Megatron have been planning on for a while. Hell, even I don’t know most of the details. We didn’t go to the meeting, only Motormaster did. I guess he’ll tell us everything tomorrow on the way down there. He might be a little out of control on the roads, but the big M takes his job seriously. He hates to be shown up by any of the other special teams, especially that skid-plate shiner Onslaught and his bunch. Ugh.

Thanks, friend. Put it on my tab, and keep ‘em coming. Better yet, put it on Wildrider’s tab. The crazy fool scratched up my paint job today, and put a couple of dents in my side, so he owes me. Next time maybe he’ll watch where he goes. But knowing him, that’s wishful thinking. And shoot a couple short-pipes of Engex down here, will ya?

Anyway, as I was saying. We get the jobs that the others think is either beneath them or are too dirty for them. Can you believe it? A Decepticon who thinks sabotaging an Autobot fuel depot or trashing some communications towers is not important enough in the cause. How full of yourself can you get? Of course, knowing Razorclaw and Onslaught, I’m not surprised. They do think they’re better than a lot of other ‘Cons, not just us. What I think it is, is that we were brought online on Earth before they were. That eats at their egos, knowing Megatron chose to bring the Stunticons online before either the vaunted Combaticons or the fearsome Predacons. Please. Individually, we can handle the Combaticons, no problem. Yeah, maybe the flyers might cause some problems, but the others? Heh. Motormaster would slap Onslaught around until he thought he was nothing but a protoform. The rest of us would make short work of the other Combaticons, they’re not tough enough for us. Now, if they were to combine? That would be interesting. Menasor against Bruticus? It might just be worth taking a few licks to find out who’s tougher.

Hey partner! I’m ready for the next one!

But the Predacons? Even I gotta admit, that’s another story. They are tough, no doubt. And ruthless. I mean, hunting is what they were made for. They’re probably the best, most cohesive combiner team in the Decepticon ranks. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Individually, they might be able to hold their own against us. Now, I still think Motormaster could put Razorclaw in his place, but the others? I don’t know. They’re a tough bunch, I’m not sure if the rest of us could handle them. I don’t know, maybe it’s the Engex talking, but it’s the truth and I don’t mind saying it. The Predacons could probably whip the Stunticons one-on-one, save for Motormaster. As for Predaking against Menansor? Forget it. We’re tough, and we can be brutal and out of control, but Predaking is just too strong. Not just for us, but for pretty much any other combiner team. Strength-wise, Devastator might be able to stand up to him, but he’s too slow and stupid, Predaking would tear him apart.

Say, is Maccadam here? I haven’t spoken to the old rustbucket in a couple of solar cycles. Is he doing good? Yeah? That’s good.

So, where was I? Oh yes. The Stunticons. I would love to say we were the first bunch that Megatron got right, after the monumental mess that Devastator turned out to be, but I can’t say Menasor is a lot better. More effective in battle? Hell yeah. But us five, we still got our problems. See, the four of us smaller guys, we can’t stand Motormaster. Quite frankly, he’s a total scraphead. He bullies us and treats us like scrap, like we’re his protoforms or something. Last time I checked, we were members of the team just like he is. We’re all needed to form Menasor. But he sees himself as more important than us. Why? Just because he’s bigger and stronger? He’s sure as hell not smarter. Then again, neither are the rest of them. Just between us, I think my cerebral circuits fire up more than the rest of them put together. I don’t mind saying it. I would die for my buddies in battle, no questions asked, but I tell you, it’s hard to live with them sometimes. Dead End? Ugh. What a downer. The bot is never happy! Never! He’s always doom and gloom. It’s a wonder he’s able to function in the middle of a fight at all. Matter of fact, he needs to be kicked in the skid plate once in a while by one of us to get him going. Wildrider? The total opposite. He is a gleefully reckless idiot. Cares nothing about no one else. Not even us! You know, once he saved Motormaster from Autobot imprisonment, or even death at the hand of Optimus Prime. Wanna hear the story? Let’s get some more Engex down here and I’ll tell ya.

Hey, Maccadam! Long time, old pal! Oh come on, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t even beat up any Autobots today! Heh. How about a couple more cans and another round of short-pipes? Thanks. Nah, Wildrider is paying.

The other guy? Breakdown? What a wimp! He’s always worried about himself! Sure, he gets into the fight just like the rest of us, but when we’re going through some down time? It’s like everything is going wrong with him. Even when he’s functioning in top condition! He always looks for some glitches or worn-out parts on himself. For Primus’s sake, how self-centered can one bot be? Heh. Then there’s me. What can I say? I am the model ‘Con soldier. I kid, I kid. Of course I got my problems. For one, I love speed. I mean, I LOVE speeding! I am the fastest out of the Stunticons, and I damn sure let them know it! They don’t like it, but too bad! Get some upgrades, you slowpokes! Haha! But seriously, as I was saying, I do most of the thinking and planning for the group. Physically, I might be the smallest, and even the weakest, but I am damn sure the fastest and the smartest. But think about this: us five, mashed into one big brute. I mean, Menasor is damn near unstoppable, but we couldn’t be more different from each other. Sometimes even I’m amazed we can function together as well as we do. Of course, Motormaster controls everything when we’re together, but it’s not because we’re oh-so-reverent of him. Like I said before, the bot is a bully and a scraphead. If we don’t do what he says, he has no problems kicking the nuts and bolts out of us, just for his own enjoyment. And Megatron and Shockwave let him do it! But still, I’d rather be a part of the team than not. When things get rough, we look out for each other and take care of business. And in the end, that’s what matters.

Hey, Swindle! What brings you in here? I was just talking about you guys to my friend here. No, just telling him the truth about the last time you and I butted heads. Yeah, it, that’s not right! Of course that’s how you see it. It’s a different view when you’re on your face eating the floor! Haha! What? Anytime, chump! Name the place, I’ll be there! Just you and me! Whatever, get your ten-cans and go slinking back to your punkass teammates. If you haven’t sold them all out yet! Oh yeah? Up your exhaust, you scraplet-chow!

What an idiot. Yeah, I smashed his cranial casing the last time us and the Combaticons got into it. It was getting serious too, I mean it. We actually combined and were about to trash Bruticus when Soundwave intervened. Good thing, too, because the Combaticons would be in stasis-lock right now if he didn’t. But anyways, just to finish giving you the rundown on us, if you’re still interested, we...OK, good. Because we sure have some interesting stories to tell. Well, I do anyway. I doubt any of the others would bother. Or if they tried, you wouldn’t understand them, heh. Motormaster would just yell at you, Breakdown wouldn’t be able to finish a sentence without asking you if you saw something wrong with his paint job, Wildrider probably wouldn’t even make sense between his jibbering and speed-talking, and Dead End would keep mumbling into his oilcan about how everything should have been the death of us until he passed out face-first in his Engex. That bot has some serious self-esteem issues and he always drowns them in lots and lots of high-test liquid. Oh well. We all gotta cope in our own way. But where was I? Right, the other two we got with us. For some reason, I’m not sure where, when, how or why, but we picked up this little guy named Blackjack. He’s actually not bad, especially for a Micromaster. He used to run his own crew, the Decepticon Race Car Patrol, but for some reason he’s now with us. Not sure what happened to his crew. Anyway, I like the little bot. He takes care of his business, and doesn’t take any crap from us. He even talks back to Motormaster more than any of us, haha. Not sure if that’s brave or stupid, considering that Motormaster could kill him with one stomp. And for some reason, when we combine, he becomes extra chest armor for Menasor. What a dumb idea! I mean, he takes the brunt of the hits we take in a fight! I wonder how he ever got convinced to attach to the big M’s chest. Whatever. So far, he’s held his own. Sure, he’s been banged up quite a bit, but he always bounces back, and being small, he’s easier to repair than we are. And personally, I sure am glad I’m not the smallest in the bunch anymore.

Bartender! One more round!

You liking it here so far? Like I said, this place is a crazy joint, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, heh. What do you think of my crew? You think you could run with us? Well, maybe….oh wait, I almost forgot! The spy! Well, that’s just my name for him. Bombshell. Yes, the Insecticon. He’s been assigned to us, for whatever reason. Megatron has him following us everywhere we go. He usually sticks with Motormaster, who can’t stand the little bug, but he can’t do anything about it. Megatron’s orders. But at least he comes in handy in a fight. For a small ‘Con, he can do some serious damage. He can also turn into a blaster we can use in a fight if we need him. But mostly he fights on his own. The rest of us just kinds ignore him, he’s a weirdo anyway. He’s Motormaster’s problem, haha. Comes with the territory of being the boss, I guess. Whatever. Anyway, I gotta get going, we got important business tomorrow. But I’m sure I’ll be back here, so if you wanna hear some stories, just come on down here and find me. I’m hard to miss, haha. Probably got the brightest yellow paint job in the entire place. Hell, the entire planet! Well, except maybe for Bumblebee, but that little runt has nothing on me, trust me. I got some stories about him, too. Alright, I’ll see ya later, time for me to get back to Kaon and recharge. Go ahead and order a couple more if you want, Wildrider is paying, hehe.
Rodimus Prime
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Re: Loud, fast, and reckless: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Thu Aug 10, 2017 1:56 am

Story One

Hey, look who it is! I know it's been a while, but we've been, uh, kinda busy...sorry, can't say. All I'll tell you is that it was time well spent. The Autobots didn't know what hit them..this? Yeah, I had a little personal confrontation with Ironhide, and...yeah, he is. Definitely. Not really a bot to mess with, but a job had to be done...yeah, it'll go away, it wasn't very serious. I spent some time in a CR chamber, and that fixed me up good.

Bartender! A double shot of straight Engex!

You want anything?...You sure? If you're gonna stick around and listen to me again, you'll probably need a few more drinks, heh heh...No, like I said, I can't tell you what I've been up to, because it's still being finalized. Let's just say the Stunticons' part in it is done. We went, we saw, we trashed some bots.

Thanks, buddy. Matter of fact, bring 2 more for me and my friend here. And a couple cans of energon, too.

So, where was I?...Oh, right. This'll heal up. The internal repairs were done in the CR chamber, now I just gotta have the arm refitted with a new panel and I said, a run-in with that old rust-bucket Ironhide, that's all...yeah, I know better than to get in a fist-fight with a bot who was forged in the heyday of Cybertron, but I had no choice. We were surprised...well, apparently the intel wasn't as good as we were led to believe. Motormaster will definitely take that up with Soundwave and his little creeps. Anyway, let's...come on, like I said, I can't reveal...he broke my arm, okay?! Is that what you wanted to hear? I went in like a rookie, underestimating him and thinking he was slow because he was old, and he countered my attack and grabbed me...yeah, I'm a lot faster! But like I said, he grabbed me, and once he had a hold of me, it was hard to stay out of his reach, and he ended up getting leverage, and the old scrap-pile snapped my arm! I'll tell you this: it'll never happen again! Next time I get a chance, he's going to the derelicts' yard! I will...oh, sorry. Yeah, it pissed me off a little that I let him get the best of me, but Ironhide is a walking hand-to-hand combat tutorial. I mean, after he was done with me, it took Motormaster's strength and a distraction from Wildrider to take him out., he's not in stasis, relax. Motormaster just caught him with a square shot to the jaw and laid him out. he was alright a little while later, but wasn't really in the mood to fight us anymore, heh heh. Besides, by then we had combined and...wait a minute, I can't be telling you this! That Engex is already going to my head, haha!

Bartender! 2 more cans of energon!

So what about you, what have you been...

Hey, you scraplet-infested, broken-geared scum barrel! How the hell have you been?!...I'm good, just a little banged up from the last mission...Sorry, Trigs, can't say. You know the rules.

This is Triggerhappy...oh, you do? Alright, then. No introduction necessary, I guess.

Well, good to see ya, flybot! We should get together sometime! I'm usually here almost every night, except when there's a mission. So catch me here whenever...yeah, sure, I'll be here...Alright, then.

He's alright. For a flyer, anyway. You know them, they just think they're better because they can fly. But you know what else flyers do? They make better targets. On the ground, it's easier to evade artillery than it is in the air, unless you're really skilled, or a hot shot like Starscream or someone like that. And I'll tell ya, Triggerhappy ain't no Starscream...Yeah, I worked with him a few times. Believe it or not, he's one of the more reliable ones...Alright, I guess I can share a story about working with him and his buddies, it's been long enough...Oh, I'm not sure now. Must have been a couple of vorns. It was right after we came back from Earth and we had to do hit-and-run missions to keep the Autobots on their toes. Back then, Shockwave ran tactical operations, because Megatron was too busy trying to make it look like he was considering peace talks with Optimus. He couldn't be seen in large gatherings of Decepticons, because if word got out, the Autobots would immediately know he was just putting on a show for them. Believe it or not, the Autobots had a pretty effective spy network back then. We even caught a couple of them and, well, the less said about that the better. Let's just say after Shockwave and Soundwave got what they wanted out of them, we had out fun, heh heh...No, not for long anyway. Shockwave did most of that, you heard the stories about him. But back to the mission with Triggerhappy. We were

Hey, thanks, buddy!...I think we'll just sit on this round for a while, check back on us in a couple of breems...thanks.

Like I was saying, we were headed out to the Manganese Mountains, just us Stunticons, and we were covered by Triggerhappy and his buddies, Misfire and Slugslinger. We didn't know them too well, but we got a chance to check them out while we were waiting for the transport, and they seemed to be a tight-knit crew. Those kinda bots usually work well together and are dependable. I wish I could say the same about us, but it's not always the case, hehe. It was a rather simple mission that went very wrong very quick. We were supposed to go into the mountains and search out any remote outposts the Autobots might have had, ones they didn't check too often, so that after we took them out, it would be a while before they noticed, and in the meantime Shockwave could do what he needed to do out there...Hell, I don't know. That one-eyed freak was always so secretive. As usual, Motormaster got the parameters of the assignment, and he shared with us on a need-to-know basis. And honestly, I didn't really care. I just wanted to go fast and trash something. So anyway, the transport drops us outside of the mountain range, we couldn't fly in because the terrain would mess with the navigation, and besides, we weren't sure what kind of defenses the Autobots had in there. If they shot us down, and Primus-forbid captured us, that would have been bad. Really bad...why? Because that would have been one combiner team out of commission, and back then every able-bodied 'Con was needed to keep the fight alive. I mean, that Autobots had all but won the war. But you know the saying, when there is a will, there is a way, hehe.

Whoa! Look who it is! I didn't think you liked this place, Breakdown! What are you doing here?...Me? What does Motormaster want with me? I thought we settled...Oh, that. Yeah, I'll take care of it first thing tomorrow. I just wanted to...yeah, yeah, I know. Just tell him it's a done deal...I know, I won't. Trust me...why are you laughing?...Okay, okay. Go back to Kaon, or wherever you like to have your fun, and I'll see you tomorrow...nah, I'll be fine...yeah, I know we will...tell the big M I'll deal with it tomorrow. Right now I just want to enjoy my drinks. It's not that important...of course he does. But I know the score...yes, don't worry...alright, see ya.

Boy, what a worrier. Kinda annoys me that he's always worrying about something, you know? Even if there's nothing wrong! Like I told you the other night, if he doesn't find something about the mission to worry over, then he starts finding problems with himself, even when there aren't any. I can't imagine the maintenance bills that 'Con racks up...yeah, I know it's good to be in perfect running order, but come on! It's constant! I mean, he never takes a break! Sometimes I think how ironic it would be if his constant worrying is what causes him to malfunction, hehe. Just imagine! Anyway, back to the story...yeah, thanks. So we go into the mountains, expecting to find maybe a few guard shacks, or some radio stations transmitting basic code, whatever. Small stuff like that. And what do I find? Oh, by the way, being the fastest and smallest, I was made the, he didn't join us yet. He still had his own crew back then. But yeah, these days Blackjack is definitely the smallest, so he would be the scout...Fastest? Haha, I doubt it. I still got that under control. So, I'm going down this path that seems to be well-worn by transport vehicles of some sort. It was a pretty wide path, so I figured they were transporting contruction materials on those wide MTBs they still used back then...Mobile Transport Bays. Seriously, you didn't know that?...Oh, okay. So I go down into this small clearing at the bottom of a hill, right? My scanners show nothing...They were about a half mile behind me. Just out of range if I tripped an alarm or sprung a trap or something. I mean, that's the job of a scout, right?...Of course I didn't want to! But being the smallest, I didn't have much of a choice. I had said no a couple of times before, and believe me, I had the dents to show for it! Motormaster has a short fuse, and doesn't take well to his orders not being followed. Anyway, I get to the clearing, and there are two more paths going to either side, as well as the path I'm on continuing forward. So which way? I had no idea. So I decided to wait. I had been a while since I was in contact with them anyway, so it was time to regroup...Well, it took a while, because the others could only go as fast as Motormaster, and he's not that fast even in open terrain. Add to that the mountains and the narrow path, and...yeah, but it wasn't wide yet where they were. That's what I'm about to explain. Why it got so, it's okay, you were curious. But just let me tell the story. So I'm waiting. Nothing. No sounds, nothing in the sky. It was kinda weird. The other paths were much wider than the one I had just used, like that one wasn't used for transport like the others. It had just gotten wider as I got close to the clearing. I noticed there were rust spots on the ground as well as the mountain sides surrounding the path. Then it hit me: this wasn't a natural occurrence. This path was made by someone, or something. But who? And why? Then suddenly I heard the sounds behind me. I was sure the other Stunticons had caught up to me, but that wasn't it. It was the Wreckers! Springer, Kup, Topspin, a couple of others, I don't know all of them...yeah, they do change members pretty quick. I guess doing what they do gets them killed fast, hehe. Maybe they should have learned their lessons a long time ago and stopped with all the kamikaze stuff. Its...oh, that's a term I picked up on Earth. It means going on a suicidal attack...Yeah, I know that's what they're famous for. So anyway, here they come. Down the side of the mountain, from the right side path. But for some reason they're not shooting, or transforming. At first I was just frozen, I couldn't move. They're rolling down the path, toward me, but they're not slowing down, nor are they giving any indication that they spotted me...I don't know, maybe they were paying attention to something else. So I decide that moving quickly is the worst thing I could do, as a rapid movement would draw their attention. On top of that, my paint job is bright yellow, so they would definitely notice that, if they hadn't already. But I roll backwards behind this small outcropping, right? And they go right by me! Then I notice something. The last bot in the line is none other than Ultra Magnus!...yeah, I know, right? But there he was, coming over the ridge, just rolling down the path. And the others stopped when they got into the clearing I was just in, and waited for him. He was coming down pretty slow, he was carrying something in his trailer...I don't know, I never got a good look. Even to this day, I'm not sure what it was. If I had more time, maybe I could have checked it out, but then it hit me: the other Stunticons were bound to show up any moment! They had to have closed the distance by now! I had to warn them! There were 6 Autobots down in the clearing, and even if we had air support with T-hap and the others, we were still dealing with the blasted Wreckers! No easy task.

Hey, barkeep! Bring the next round, will ya! And my tab!

So I had to make a choice: roll for it and have them notice me, but I get the warning to the others. Or, stay put and when the others got there, have both crews be surprised by the other, and whoever recovered first would get the upper hand in the fight...hold on, hold on, I'm getting to that. There were two things going for us with the second option: the Autobots were concerned with whatever was on Magnus's trailer, so they might be distracted. Also, they hadn't noticed me, and even when the other Stunticons showed up and the Autobots finally turned their attention to them, they still wouldn't notice me, so my attack would be a surprise, and I had to make that count for the most I could...Okay, I'm getting to it, relax. Turned out, the decision was made for me, as at that point, the others finally came over the hill, and started rolling down into the clearing. They must have been distracted as well, most likely by arguing with each other, because they were halfway down the mountainside by the time Dead End put on his brakes, with Wildrider and Breakdown running into the back of him. Luckily Mostormaster's lack of speed was a good thing this time, because he was so far back he was able to not only come to a stop before running into them, he also had transformed by the time he got there and drew his sword and blaster...yeah, the Autobots noticed them by then, and transformed as well, all except Magnus. With that whatever he was carrying, he couldn't, I guess...yeah, I heard about that. His trailer is just his armor in robot mode, he could have transformed anyway. But for whatever reason, he didn't. Not yet, anyway. The Wreckers did, and they surrounded him in a half-circle, facing us...well, no, I didn't. So yeah, they were facing the other Stunticons. I remained in my hidden spot, even though I heard Wildrider yelling at Dead End, complaining about my whereabouts. But I couldn't reveal myself. Not yet. Anyway, the Autobots weren't shooting, and that was very strange, especially for the Wreckers. I mean, they're known for shooting first and asking questions later. So when the Stunticons regrouped, they started the fight. They spread out, and began firing. The Autobots returned fire, but they didn't go for cover. I thought this strange, as they were taking hits left and right, but they weren't really budging, other than from the impacts of the shots. They were standing between the gun fire and Ultra Magnus, who for some reason wasn't moving. I mean, if you can't fight, for whatever reason, the next option is to flee, right?...well, Magnus didn't. Then I heard Motormaster calling me. It's one thing when Wildrider's annoying whining is calling me out, but when the boss is demanding I come out, I had no choice. so I transformed and came out from behind my cover, shooting the whole way. The laser blasts were flying everywhere, and a lot of them were scoring hits on both sides. I was thinking to myself, what the hell is going on here? This isn't how a gunfight is supposed to go! You shoot, then go for cover! But both groups just stood there, taking hits...yeah, I'm about to get to them. They weren't far behind. So anyway, Motormaster orders us to combine, and we begin the process. As you know, a gestalt program is complicated, and takes about 10-20 seconds, depending on how good the team is. And I hate to say it, we are not the smoothest out there, hehe. We dislike Motormaster so much, we reluctantly combine, but in this instance, it was necessary. Otherwise the Wreckers would have had us, especially if Magnus decided to join the fight. The flyers wouldn't have gotten there in time. So we combined and

What? I'm telling a story here!...Now?...I said I would deal with it tom...damn it, can't I have a night off once in a while, for Primus's sake!...Alright, alright, I'm coming!

Well, I hate to cut it off here, but I gotta go. You heard that drama queen Breakdown. I told him I would deal with it tomorrow, but I guess it can't wait. I should be back tomorrow night, unless something comes up. Will you be here?...Good. I'll finish the story then. In the meantime, have another round on me, if you want.

Alright, I'm coming!

Take it easy, we'll catch up soon and I'll finish the story...well, if I told you the ending now, it would ruin it, hehe. There's a lot more to it than just a bunch of shooting. Okay, I gotta go. Later!
Rodimus Prime
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Re: Loud, fast, and reckless: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Fri Aug 11, 2017 3:30 am

Ugh. Today was just a mess. I figured you'd be here, I knew you wanted to hear the rest of that story. Just give me a minute, though. I need

Hey bartender! Down here!

I need to get a double shot of the strongest Engex they got into me. This day has been just...hell yeah, I can handle it! My systems are top-notch. And speaking of which, check this out: got my new arm plates. Looks like I just rolled off the line, huh?...Yeah, I was cold constructed. We all were...Oh, I don't know about that, but

Yeah, buddy, give me a double shot of supercharged Engex 100...Yeah, I want to start with that. That's the kind of day I have had...Yeah, bring a couple of cans of straight energon to chase it with.

You want anything?

You heard my friend here. Make it 2 of those as well. My tab...Thanks.

So, anyway. What have you been up to today?...Really. I wish I had a few days like that. But not me. Not ol' Dragstrip. I gotta be the Stunticon everyone goes to with their freakin' problems!...Oh, just the usual. Except today it was piled onto another bunch of scrap I had to deal with...Don't worry about it. Tell you what, let me get right back to the story I was telling you last night. You remember where

Oh, hey. Thanks, friend. You're a lifesaver.

Easy, my skid plate. I needed those shots. I feel better already. So anyway, us and the Wreckers, right? We were staring each other down in this gunfight out in the Manganese Mountains. Nobody backing down, both sides taking hits. I mean, we were just defending ourselves, and...yeah, I know we shot first, but that doesn't matter. Just listen. Here they were, the Wreckers, all lined up in front of Ultra Magnus, who wouldn't transform, for some reason. he had that...I don't know what in his trailer, and apparently it couldn't just be tossed to the side so he could transform. So this gets me curious. Being the smallest, I start to ease my way to the side of the path, and I stop shooting. Trying to...right, trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible. Of course, that idiot complainer, Wildrider, starts yelling for me to get back in line and keep shooting. I mean, it doesn't even occur to them that the only reason they're shooting, is because we're shooting! They were just defending what was on Magnus's trailer! I can't even describe it. It looked kinda like a big crate with some pipes sicking out of it on the sides and the top. Maybe some kind of energy converter? It looked like it had a panel on the side with some buttons and switches and lights, probably the instrument panel. But otherwise, it was strange. I don't think I've seen any equipment like that before, at least not by itself. Anyway, I don't know if they thought that's what we were there for, but they were dead set on us not getting it. Anyway, i tried something on the side, and was kinda spoiled by that moron Wildrider, so i had to pick up the shooting again. But I stayed to the side. I mean, it was a stalemate. No one budging, everyone shooting. I had to try something. Anyway, before I could think of anything, the Wreckers made the decision for me. Suddenly, Kup and Springer hand off their weapons to the others standing next to them, and they turn to Magnus's trailer, while the others lay down a fierce cover fire. So I knew something was about to happen. Apparently, so did Motormaster, who immediately gave Dead End and Breakdown a shove from behind, pushing them forward. He then started advancing himself, standing behind them. Only the 2 of them were too stupid to realize the big M was using them as a shield. Wildrider, being as neurotic as he is anyway, was bouncing from side to side, front to back, shooting everywhere. I mean, the idiot almost hit me a couple of times. Me, I just stood back to the side. I didn't move forward. Surprisingly, Motormaster either didn't notice, or didn't care, because he didn't order me to go forward. They made up some distance, but they were taking hits. I mean, Breakdown, Wildrider, and Dead End all had open wounds, with fluids leaking and wires showing. But they kept going...Oh, Motormaster was too armored for simple blasters. I mean, I'm sure the shots stung, but he wasn't taking damage. His only vulnerable spots were his legs, where the armor isn't as thick, but he was behind Dead End and Breakdown, so his legs were shielded. But by this time, the 3 Wreckers who returned fire were hurting, because they took most of the hits. Kup and Springer had that, that device off Magnus's trailer by then, and they had just turned around. The others threw their weapons back to them, and they resumed firing. However, now they were on the other side of the path, so the Stunticons were taking fire from 2 sides almost...Oh, I was still in my little hiding spot, out of sight, out of mind. For good reason. I was keeping my optics on Ultra Magnus. Y'see, he still hadn't transformed and joined the fight yet. Then I started thinking, maybe there was something wrong with him! Maybe, he couldn't transform, not because that whatever he had on his trailer wouldn't let him. But then why did the others take it off? I tried to come up with something, but I got distracted. 2 things happened: first, Motormaster started hollering for me to shoot at Kup and Springer. Then, Ultra Magnus started moving. He rolled away from the fight for a short distance. Then he turned around in the clearing, and began coming straight at us! I don't know if the others didn't see him, he was shielded by the Wreckers, or if they were just too busy returning fire, but suddenly, the 3 Wreckers in the middle of the path dove to the side, and here came Magnus, charging through! Kup and Springer were still shooting, so instead of reacting to Magnus, the other Stunticons turned their fire on them. All except Motormaster, who saw Magnus coming, and he quickly stepped to the side...No, he didn't. I thought he was going to, but he grabbed Dead End and pulled him with him, at the same time kicking Breakdown in the skid plate, and shoving him to the opposite side. He didn't have to worry about Wildrider because he was all over the place and Magnus wouldn't hit him anyway. So now, here we were, me and Breakdown on one side, starting down Kup and Springer, and Motormaster, Wildrider and Dead End on the other side, picking up the firing against the other Wreckers...Well, Magnus rolled past us, and I followed him. It happened so fast, I couldn't keep track of what was going on. I had a lot of possibilities occurring to me, but it seemed the others didn't give Magnus very much consideration. I mean, they should have, because technically he was the biggest bot in the fight! He's even bigger than Motormaster, for Primus's sake!

Bartender! Another round!...Yeah, the same!

Anyway, I kept my optic on Magnus, as Breakdown was shooting at Kup and Springer, who all of a sudden started advancing on us. He was also yelling at me to join in, and for good reason. The Autobots were almost on us! But I had to keep track of Magnus, who had just stopped in his tracks. I thought I might get lucky, so I aimed at him, thinking maybe I can shoot through the side window on his cab and hit something vital. No such luck. Before I could get off a shot, he transformed and spun around, firing off both his shoulder rockets. They both went straight for Motormaster.

Thanks, buddy...Yeah, I'm good for a while.

I'm getting to it, relax. Are you in a hurry?...Alright, then. I had already raised my blaster, but I knew I couldn't do much damage to Magnus in hit robot mode, so I instead shot at the rockets. Even a surprise to me, I actually hit one of them!...Yeah, I know, right? Well, anyway, it exploded, and the flash and loud noise froze everyone for a few seconds. Everyone except Motormaster and Wildrider, who had their backs to the exploding rocket. Wildrider, the crazy fool, actually got in between Motormaster and the remaining rocket, and tried to swat it down! Idiot! Well, he paid for it! The rocket hit him, ripping his left arm off above the elbow...Yeah, it definitely was stupid! I mean, I've seen my fellow Stunticons do some stupid ****, but that was just, huh. But all this gave Motormaster enough time to react, and he started shooting and running at Ultra Magnus, who was recovering from the flash and bang of the first rocket exploding. But before he could draw his rifle, the big M reached him and just straight tackled him! I mean, didn't even tackle him, but speared him! So down they went in a heap, both their guns clattering away, and their fists flying...Yeah, it was! And it wasn't for the weak, either. I mean, Magnus is big, strong, and he can fight, but Motormaster was just crazed! I guess that made up for the difference in size, because they were locked in, neither getting the upper hand...No, I wouldn't say that. I don't think so. Motormaster is pretty tough and strong, I don't think Magnus is physically stronger. If it had been a stand off, Magnus might have won because of his height, but strength-wise, it was even. Anyway, the 2 of them just took it to each other, leaving the 4 of, well, 3 and half of us, heh heh, against the Wreckers. And Kup and Springer had reached us because Breakdown couldn't hold them back on his own. So Springer and Breakdown get into it, while that old rust-bucket comes after me. Well, back then it wasn't like it was just the other week with Ironhide. I was ready for the old cygar-chomper. He tried to grab me instead of just shooting me, but I was too quick for him. I got by him, and I rammed him into the side of the mountain, face-first. Then I did what any self-respecting Decepticon would do. I shot him in the back. He grunted and fell to his knees. The shot wasn't that devastating, but he was up against the wall and hand nowhere to go when the blast impacted, so he just kinda got knocked stupid, y'know? Well, I went for the kill. I mean, we were Decepticons, they were Autobots, and we were in a fight for survival, right? Fair fighting be damned. So I aimed at his head. I was gonna blow it right off his shoulders, end his miserable existence...yeah, I know he's still alive. So of course I didn't shoot him in his head. Well, the other Wreckers had overwhelmed Dead End and Wildrider with his one arm, hehe, so at least one of them turned their attention to me. Not sure which one it was, but he did the same to me as I did to Kup. He shot me in the back. It didn't do much damage, just dented me, but it knocked me forward, ironically I fell down next to Kup, who was not knocked out, but pretty dazed. He was recovering, trying to get back up. I fell down on my back, and looked over at him. My gun fell right between us. Our optics locked for a second, and he went for my gun. I don't know if he figured that's what I would do, but instead of me going for it too, I just swung as hard as I could, and I smashed my fist right into his face. He grunted again and fell straight back. Now he was knocked out! I mean, just because I was the smallest and weakest of the Stunticons, that didn't mean I wasn't strong, y'know? Anyway, I sat up, trying to get my gun back, and I saw out of the corner of my optics: Springer and Roadbuster had Breakdown pinned and subdued, while Impactor and the other one, can't remember which, got Wildrider and Dead End backed up against the wall...yeah, I'm alright. I just, my day hasn't gone well, and I think this Engex 100 hit me harder than I thought it would...yeah, I know you told me. But I needed something hard. Anyway, We were...I'm alright, I'm alright. Not the first time I fell off a bar stool, believe it or not.
Rodimus Prime
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Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Fri Aug 11, 2017 5:04 am

Okay, okay. So they had us pretty much beat. I hate to admit it, but they did. But they did outnumber us, though, don't forget that. With Ultra Magnus, no less...yeah, yeah, I was getting to that. The Wreckers had us down, but it seemed Motormaster was winning the fight against Magnus. I don't know if it was a few lucky shots, or the big M was just that fierce that day, but Magnus was down, on his knees and elbows, and Motormaster was kicking and stomping him. I mean, I literally saw sparks and pieces of armor fly off Magnus! Motormaster kicked him all thew way to the edge of the path, and he had nowhere to go there, the side of the mountain stopped him. So Magnus did what he could do, he just covered up. I don't know what was with him that day, but it seemed that he just couldn't fight. I mean, at first, he didn't even want to transform. Then, we he did join the fight, he tried to ram us. When that didn't work, he tried long range artillery. But now he was forced to fight up close, and he wasn't faring well. Maybe he was having some problems, after all. He just wasn't the same old Ultra Magnus. So, instead of finishing us, Springer left Roadbuster and went straight for Motormaster, shooting him in the back. Of course, the boss is too well armored for simple blasters, like I said, so all that did was alert him to Springer attacking from the back...yeah, you said it. But then again, Springer might be a good warrior, he's not the smartest drone in the squad. So Motormaster just turns around from stomping Magnus, and with the same momentum lifts his leg and puts his foot straight up, and that idiot Springer runs into it face first! Haha! I would have burst out laughing if I wasn't fighting for my life, it was so funny!

No, no more for me, thanks...oh you saw that, huh?...Yeah, I'm okay. But I think I'll lay off the Engex 100 from now on. I guess I'm not the bot I used to be, or maybe I just can't handle my recreational fluids like I used to, hehe.

Anyway, that one shot took out Springer just like that. He was out. When he fell down, Motormaster brought that same foot down with him, and crunched his face into the ground with all his weight. And you know the big M isn't small. Plus all that armor on him makes him quite heavy. So Springer was out cold, his face crushed. Magnus could barely move, he was dented and dazed pretty well. He just laid there on his side, his arms tucked in and his knees drawn up. I've never seen the mighty Ultra Magnus like that. Never. Something must have been wrong with him to begin with. But hey, what do I care? He was the enemy, so the weaker he was, the better for us, right? So just like that, the fight turned around a bit. Now it was us against 3 Wreckers...Yeah, Kup was still out cold, remember?...Yeah. Man, that punch felt so good, I still remember it to this day. And you know about Kup, he's a loudmouth braggart anyway, which is not bad in an of itself, if you can back it up, telling all kinds of war stories. But have you ever heard him tell that one? Or has anyone else? About the time he got cold cocked by Dragstrip? Probably not, hehe. So anyway, Motormaster picked up his gun and started shooting at Impactor and the other one, who held up Dead End and Wildrider. They had no choice but to turn and fight the boss. Roadbuster, having restrained Breakdown, got up and started shooting at Motormaster as well. It was 3 on 1, but the boss wasn't backing down. His armor was taking all the hits, and he wasn't really moving forward, but he stood there and returned fire. So while Dead End helped Wildrider, I went over to Breakdown and blasted away the cuffs Roadbuster put on him. Why the hell did he cuff him anyway? This was war! No prisoners!...I know, Autobots don't kill if they don't have to, but come on! Didn't they know that if they let us live we'd just come back at them?...I guess so. But obviously, that wasn't the case. They weren't winning the fight! They were getting their skid plates dented in! And now it was worse. So Dead End and Wildrider regrouped with the boss, and Breakdown and I stayed off to the side, where I started shooting at the remaining Wreckers, while Breakdown recovered from the beating he took...At this point, no, we didn't. I was curious, but I couldn't just leave the others. I figured when we had them beat for good, we could check it out. It was definitely worth checking out, if the Wreckers were willing to defend it with their lives. But anyway, as the saying goes, if only it was that easy. Now Motormaster started getting a little cocky, and he decided that not only would we beat them, we'd do it in style. He ordered us to combine! Can you believe it? There were 3 of them, and even though Magnus was still functioning, he wasn't really capable of fighting, and we still had all 5 of us functional and able to fight. But Motormaster wanted to bring out the big guy. Why? I have no idea. But we did it...yeah, he could still combine, his missing arm didn't hinder his limb mode. So we did. Took about 30 seconds, though, because we were all hurting. But we combined nonetheless, and Menasor was ready to go. Now the rest of the Wreckers were done for. I mean, they kept fighting, to their credit, but it was pretty much over. Menasor just started blasting away at them, and they scattered...well, here's how that works: we all retain part of our consciousness when combined. I mean, it's not like we talk to each other telepathically, or whatever, because our minds link up, and it's just a single train of thought, but once we're separated, what Menasor did is in all our heads as a memory, you know? So to all of us individually it feels like it was we who did what Menasor actually did, just in a different body. I don't know, I guess you'd have to be a part of a combiner team to understand...yeah, it's complicated. Especially with a team leader like Motormaster, who is so overbearing he takes over everything when we're combined. That's the biggest reason we don't like doing it. I don't know if it's that way with the other teams, like does Onslaught override all the other Combaticons? Does Razorclaw impose his will on the Predacons, and Predaking does whatever Razorclaw orders him to do? I mean, it's a team, so the combiner's actions should be a team decision, right...what? Really? Is that why Computron is the way he is? Well, hell, then maybe it's not a good idea anyway. I know how slow Computron is, I just never knew why. But if that's the reason, forget it. The problem is, if we give up total control to the team leader, if he makes a mistake, we all pay for it. And sometimes, just because someone is the team leader, doesn't mean he makes the best decision in a given situation. I mean, like I said before, Motormaster is our group leader, but it's not hard to out think him. Or maybe I just feel smart because all the rest of the Stunticons are freakin' idiots. I don't know.

Bartender! My tab!

Yeah, I'm gonna get going in a minute. I don't feel too good...yeah, probably this supercharged Engex. Anyway, back to the fight. Menasor is just stomping down the path, scattering the other 3 Wreckers. Kup is starting to stir, so Menasor goes towards him, and stomps on the old coot! Haha! He was done for. I mean, he survived it, but I know he needed some serious time in a CR chamber after that. Menasor now turns his attention at that thing Magnus was carrying. We still didn't know what it was, but in Menasor's single-mindedness, he just wanted to destroy it. If it was something the Autobots could use, it had to be bad for us 'Cons, so it had to go! So the big guy started towards it, but suddenly it felt like the ground went out from under him! The sky twisted, and I felt us falling down!...Well, like I said, it's weird to describe the experiences in combined mode. It's like you're inside the gestalt, but at the same time you're observing from the outside, because it doesn't truly feel like they're your actions. So i'll explain the best I can. So we go down, Menasor putting his arms out to brace himself, the arms being me and Breakdown. Down on his hands and knees, Menasor looks under his body to see what tripped him, and it was Magnus! He had managed to get up and gather enough strength to tackle Menasor around the legs from behind!...Yeah, it was a surprise! We figured the boss had taken him out! But here he was, tangled up in Menasor's legs! He was trying to get back up, but had little to no strength. So it seemed that instead of momentum from running, it was Magnus's sheer size that knocked us Menasor down. Anyway, Menasor kicked, and smashed Magnus right in his chest armor with his foot. Magnus grunted loudly and rolled off Menasor's other leg, and sprawled out on the ground. He seemed to be out of it. His head moved, but that was it. He put one arm on his chest, but didn't move anything else. So Menasor was slowly getting up, but this was enough for the other Wreckers to start shooting again, and they were concentrating their fire on Menasor's head. We took blasts right in the optics and mouth, and since Menasor was still on one knee, his head was closer to the ground than it would have been, and it made for a bigger target. But I guess Motormaster still had his wits about him, and he threw, not swipe, swing or stab, but threw his sword, which Menasor also uses, towards the Wreckers, impaling Roadbuster right into that thing they were trying to, we never did figure it out. But it was moot by then, because whatever it was, it was damaged enough from the sword and Roadbuster's impact to start smoking, and a few seconds later, it blew up, throwing Roadbuster's body all the way back to us, knocking down the remaining Wreckers, who were still shooting at Menasor. So the fight was effectively over, as all the Wreckers and Magnus were down. The last 2 Wreckers, Impactor and the other one, I can never remember his name, were still functional, and tried to get up, but Menasor smashed them into the ground with his arm, which was me, by chance, heh heh...yeah, it did. You bet it felt good. So anyway, thinking the fight was over, we separated, and after a few seconds of getting our bearing back, we assessed the situation...yeah, like I said, combining messes with the members' heads a little, and afterwards, it feels like you had a hangover from too much Engex, because when you combine, your minds connect, and that requires the individual minds to be turned off to a point. So when the individual minds get fully turned back on, it's like coming out of stasis lock. You feel dazed at least, if the combination went without a problem. And I'm sure Menasor getting shot in the head repeatedly didn't help our collective consciousness, either. But we did it, we won the fight, but whatever the Wreckers were carrying was destroyed. So what to do now? Do we take them prisoner? Do we kill them? Do we even continue with our mission?...well, my choice was to kill the Wreckers and take Magnus prisoner, because he was very weak and couldn't fight back either, and later on he would make a very valuable bargaining chip for Megatron and Shockwave. And speaking of Shockwave, imagine what he could have gotten out of Magnus in interrogation?...yeah, I know that, but Magnus us also in the top 5 highest ranking Autobots. I mean, he answers only to Optimus and maybe Xaaron, right? I don't think he answers to Maximus or Grimlock, I think they're the same rank. But anyway, we never got to decide what to do, because the Aerialbots attacked us! From the sky! They just showed up, and started raining blasts and rockets down, and we had just got through with a fight, we were in no shape to get into another one, especially with an opponent who had the higher ground, so to speak. So it was time to retreat. Luckily for us,, they were not anywhere near us! Remember I told you before that we couldn't take a shuttle in because the mountains and their magnetic elements would mess with the navigation?...Right, well that's what happened to them! Triggerhappy, Misfire and Slugslinger were all the way on the other side of the mountain range! They had flown the wrong way from the start! But as I was saying, luckily, the same thing saved us from the Aerialbots, because they couldn't keep it together either. After their initial attack, they didn't seem too intent on trying to pick us off. It was more like they were covering the Wreckers, who must have sent a distress call at the beginning of the fight! Or maybe it was Magnus, who knows...well, we all transformed and rolled out of there, back down the path we used to get up there. We didn't even look back. Even Motormaster was pouring on the speed, something he usually doesn't do. But here he was, practically keeping up with us....I don't know. He says it's because it uses up too much Energon and he would run out of fuel if he did it all the time. So whatever. Anyway, the Aerialbots didn't pursue us, and we got away. But it sure would have been nice to find out what that thing was...well, I guess the Aerialbots gathered them, or revived them, or whatever, and they all took off as well...well, come to find out, that's why we were sent in there! Shockwave knew from intel gathered by Soundwave's little freaks that something was going on! I don't know if he told Motormaster, because the boss never said, but we were sent in there to spook the Autobots, not just on a routine seek and destroy mission for remote stations. Thing was, Shockwave knew they were in there, but didn't know where. The mountains had never been a Decepticon-held area, and the Autobots knew this. They knew we didn't know the area well, so they hid in there to work on whatever it was they did. And even though we never figured it out, we still put a stop to it, and that's what mattered.

Thanks, you go. Just charge it to that.

So in the end, mission accomplished, even if it was messy. But that's what we do, heh heh. We're Stunticons. We make things messy. And we like it that's more fun. I know. But more often that not, the pain and the hassle is worth it. Even if the Autobots we fight survive us, they know damn well they have been in a fight. Just like the Wreckers and Magnus found out that day...I don't know. Maybe it would have went differently. But he wasn't at full power, and we were able to exploit that. So all is well if it ends well, right?...yeah, depends on what side you're on, heh. Anyway, I gotta go. We got another little excursion coming up, so I'll probably be away for a while. But if you want to hear more, I'll be back sooner or later. Until then I'm sure you can listen to some of the other chatterboxes around here...alright, you take it easy, you hear? I'll see ya later.
Rodimus Prime
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Posts: 19056
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Joined: Sat Sep 28, 2002 8:31 pm

Re: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:58 pm

Story Two

Well, look who it is! It’s good to be back finally. I tell ya, I need some down time. We’ve been...well, we’ve been busy. Heh heh. How have you been? Good. I feel like sitting for a while tonight, so I hope you’re ready for another war story. Well, good. I got a doozy for you tonight.

Bartender! The usual.

What have you been up to? That’s good, I guess. Kinda boring, but it’s safe, right? Hehe. Nah, I would much rather do what you do. But, being who I am, well, it just wasn’t for me. Anyway

Hey, thanks! And keep ‘em coming!

Anyway, have you heard of the Tagan Heights Incident? Yeah, that one. Yeah, the Autobots don’t like to talk about it much. They got their skid plates dented in pretty good by us. Hehe. It was a lot of fun, actually. It truly was. Menasor totally unleashed. We really found out what we could do when there were absolutely no restraints on us. And the Technobots found out as well. And so did the Dinobots! Ha! Those big idiots thought they were gonna just show up and shut us down! We were out on a test run. We just had some new hardware installed, along with some new kind of armor. To this day I’m not sure what it is, but the point of it was that when we combined into Menasor, the armor was supposed to shift around and cover all of us, as well as out connecting ports. Shockwave had analyzed the combiner process in detail, and found out that on all the combiners, most likely the most vulnerable spots were the combining ports. So, of course, we got the assignment to test the new stuff. It was supposed to be just an exercise, with no fun ‘n’ games involved. But of course, with us, no such thing, heh heh. I mean, we weren’t looking for a fight, but we got one brought to us. I remember, we were down in the flat area where the cargo shuttles used to land, when the ships that brought the raw materials to the Heights were too big to land there and shuttles had to bring the ores and other materials to the factories. Shockwave somehow arranged that there were no shuttle landing that day, so we had the entire airfield to ourselves, to practice maneuvers. And the Autobots couldn’t spy on us, because the Tagan Heights were off limits to air patrols due to the air traffic coming in. It would have disrupted the delivery schedule. They didn’t know, of course, that Shockwave had cleared the calendar for that day so we could be down there. There were no shuttles coming down. In hindsight, that’s probably what tipped off the Technobots. They were down there as well, working on something, it was the industrial center of the Southern hemisphere of Cybertron, a lot of testing and experimenting was going on. I know Wheeljack had his big lab down there as well, but it was heavily fortified and well-protected. Isn’t it funny? Two of Cybertron’s brightest scientific minds, Shockwave and Wheeljack, working so close to each other on opposing sides. Of course, their methods of science were much different, but you already know all about that. What I’m about to tell you is the Stunticons’ part in Shockwave developing the new combiner armor. We were

Thanks, buddy. Like I said, keep ‘em coming!

We were picked to test the stuff, because the Combaticons were on a mission, and Devastator, well, you know. The Constructicons may be amazing engineers, but Devastator is not very bright. But that’s a problem with all the combiners, isn’t it? Somehow when we combine, the gestalt is always less intelligent. Well, the early versions anyway. Us, the Constructicons, Bruticus. For some reason, the Autobots got that one right, while we didn’t. I mean, Superion isn’t stupid, neither is Defensor, and Computron is the total opposite. But as they say, everything comes at a price. Computron might be smart, but all that thinking slows him down in a fight. And that’s why we beat the scrap out of them that day. I mean, we probably would have beaten them anyway, but with how they are, heh, it was a walk in the park. Maybe ol’ Wheeljack should have focused less on their brains and more on their ability to fight. Because, and I mean no exaggeration, we just trashed them. Just trashed them. If it hadn’t been for the Dinobots, believe me, there would be no Technobots around today. And we would have been within our rights, totally. I mean, it technically wasn’t wartime, but they started it. We were just defending ourselves. For all the talk about how bad and despicable the Decepticons are, the Autobots can be certainly vicious and underhanded. Anyway, we were down on the landing area, just going through the paces. It was kind of annoying, having to combine and separate so much. But that was the point. To work out the glitches in the armor when it was activated. But it didn’t even feel natural. I mean, we didn’t replace our own armor with it, Shockwave’s drones just kinda covered us in it. I don’t know, maybe if he had the chance to finalize it, maybe he would have had it installed in us, you know, swap out our old stuff for it. But, thanks to the Technobots and Dinobots, it never got that far. I heard Shockwave didn’t give up on it though. He still has it stashed somewhere. I’m sure the Autobots would love to get their hands on the formula. Word is, Wheeljack got some pieces of it after the battle, but he could never replicate it. I mean, it was cutting edge stuff. So good thing the Autobots don’t have it. Like I said, technically we’re not at war anymore, but still. I’d hate to see Prowl’s police thugs roaming the streets of Iacon or Kaon wearing that stuff. They’d be near invincible. Yeah, the armor was developed for combiners. But on an individual bot, it’s like wearing the extra-heavy space armor that we used when we were fighting in space. Except that stuff made us slow and almost immobile. It was designed to withstand heavy fire, and mobility had to be sacrificed. But this new stuff? It was like wearing that, but we were still just as fast and agile as if we didn’t have it on. And when we combined, it just, I don’t know, morphed? It was supposed to make our combined form faster and more agile as well. I mean, it’s well known that the single big drawback to gestalts is they’re much slower than the individual bots. They give up the speed and agility to gain the strength. Oh well. Looked like finally Shockwave found a way around that. Imagine if we could have utilized that armor? If Menasor became the fastest, most agile gestalt, without giving up our strength? It would have been over. Any fight we were in, it would have been over before it started.

Okay, here we go. And bring me a double shot of Engex 50 as well, will you? Thanks.

So there we were, about to run a simulation where we had to combine straight out of vehicle mode, while driving backwards at top speed. It was a difficult exercise, as you know when the combining process happens, the center bot has to configure himself first. And for us, our center bot is Motormaster, and he’s not exactly going to win any races. So we had to wait for him. We had to develop a tactic that allowed the rest of us to be useful somehow in vehicle mode while he made his preparations. When we’re going forward it’s not that big a deal, because he has decent top speed. But in reverse? That truck mode is slower than hell. I don’t know why. I had suggested to him once to have his gears reconfigured. But all I got was a crumpled-in face plating. Only made that mistake once. Heh heh. Anyway, we initiated the combining protocol, and just finished combining, when the Technobots showed up. And I mean, they were making a straight line right at us. Scattershot landed right in front of us, and immediately became hostile. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?!’ he was in our face before the rest of them even caught up to him. I mean, I know we weren’t at war, but getting aggressive with Menasor is still not a smart thing to do. Especially if you’re without backup! Hehe. Anyway, somehow Motormaster kept his cool, and didn’t answer. So Menasor just stood there, looking at Scattershot. Meanwhile, the rest of the Technobots showed up, itching for a fight. I don’t know what they were thinking. They must have been bored out of their cerebral casing. Anyway, they got there, and straight up confronted us. We weren’t sure what to do. I mean, we weren’t supposed to fight, but we sure as hell weren’t gonna back down. So there we were. I don’t know why Shockwave didn’t show up right then, he was monitoring us after all. I guess maybe he was hoping for a fight, so he could test the new armor under battle conditions. That had to be it. ‘Looks like you’re running battle maneuvers!’ Scattershot said. ‘This is an industrial area! For receiving raw materials! You’re not supposed to be here!’ Ugh. I wanted to hit him so bad. But, the big M was in control, so we waited. ‘If you don’t separate and clear out, we’ll consider it a provocation!’ he kept going. I mean, he was very aggressive. Like he wanted to fight. I don’t know, maybe too much peace got the better of them. Maybe during the war they got to liking the fight too much. So they wanted one. Well, we were happy to oblige. Motormaster knew this, so he kept Menasor together. And, predictably, Scattershot reacted accordingly. He drew his weapon, as did the others, and pointed them at us. ‘Alright, you’re under arrest for public disturbance and illegally occupying a private area.’ I mean, is that even a real offense? I guess they just wanted to hang whatever they could on us. But that’s all we needed. Once their weapons were drawn, we were in the right to defend ourselves. I mean, we didn’t do anything wrong. We weren’t causing damage to the place, weren’t hurting anyone. Of course, we neglected to mention that Shockwave had seen to it, legally, that we got the place to ourselves, but hey, that’s not my problem. Maybe next time Scattershot will follow up on all the filed documents. Point is, they threatened us with firearms. We responded. Honestly, I don’t think they expected us to do that, I think they figured they could bully us under the threat of locking us up if we resisted. Please. We’re Stunticons. We love a good fight. So a good fight it was. And it started with Menasor kicking Scattershot straight in the chest, crumpling his chestplate and sending him flying backwards. The other Technobots opened fire, but Menasor was ready. We knelt down and protected our face. The armor on our arms, namely me and Breakdown, was deflecting all their shots. I mean, we felt nothing. It was a damn good feeling. Like being inside a forcefield. Anyway, they retreated as they were firing, regrouping on Scattershot’s position. What we didn’t know at the time was that one of them sent a distress signal for reinforcements. But right then and there, it was just use and them. So we knew the armor could stand up to direct blaster fire. Now it was time to test its mobility. Menasor stood up, and we started running. I mean, running. We couldn’t do that before. No gestalt could. They’re all too big and uncoordinated. But for some reason, this armor plating gave our combiner ports the extra dexterity to turn and move our limbs faster than normal, allowing us to not only counter anything they threw at us, but to be on the offensive and faster than they were. So we attacked. They didn’t know what hit them, hehe. We were on them so fast, the only thing that saved them was that they went in every different direction, and it momentarily confused us, we couldn’t decide who to go after. We had the advanced speed, but it didn’t make us any smarter, hehe. Anyway, they transformed into vehicle mode, and backed up away from us. They were still faster, so they made it to the edge of the landing area, where they combined. We caught up to them, but by then we were facing Computron. No problem, we could handle him. We might not have been as smart, but we were faster and stronger. Of course, after the war was over, Decepticons weren’t allowed to have weapons, but that’s fine. We didn’t need a gun or a sword. We had our fists. Computron, however, did have a rifle. But he never got to use it. We ran at them full speed, smashing into them and tackling them. We went down, and Menasor started swinging. Computron never had a chance.

Finally. My Engex. Bring me another one, will ya? Thanks.

Anyway, we were knocking the sparks out of them, when we noticed a shuttle arriving over us. Their reinforcements, as it turned out. The Dinobots. They didn’t even wait to land. Sludge, Snarl and Grimlock jumped out of the shuttle while it was still hovering. I guess Swoop and Slag were piloting it, because they set it down a little further away, while the other three came straight at us. We met them head on, but even Motormaster knew we had to be more cautious. Computron was down but not out, but the Dinobots by themselves would have been dangerous anyway. We took a chance and came at Sludge, the biggest and slowest, and you would think the easiest target. You should have seen their faces when they saw how fast we were! Sludge was blasting away with that big cannon of his, but we kept dodging it, to their astonishment. Grimlock and Snarl tried to flank us, but we were too fast. Finally, Swoop and Slag made it out of the shuttle and attacked as well, so now they had us surrounded. And Computron was getting back up. But we weren’t gonna give up. Motormaster gave us the command: fight to the end. No retreat. No matter what. We figured we had to get outside of the circle they had us in, make them all face us from one direction. So again, utilizing the new armor, we started running. They thought we were just gonna step towards Slag, the smallest, but we ran, and it caught him off guard. All he could do is get out of the way. Swoop tried to dive bomb us, figuring we were a slow and easy target, but we dove out of the way. I think they were still in shock over how agile we were. Gestalts aren’t supposed to move that fast! Haha! We sure made Computron look slower than hell. But, still, the numbers game was against us. We might have been faster, but they had artillery, and we could dodge them for only so long. And no matter how good this new armor was, it wasn’t gonna last forever. So we had a few options: stand and fight as Menasor, and eventually get beat. Run away, and be possibly chased down and arrested, and look like punks. Or separate and try to fight them individually, but then they would have the advantage with the numbers. Luckily we never had to make a decision, because just then, Shockwave showed up. He flew in, landed, and brought a stop to everything. You know, he and the Dinobots have serious history, and he went chest to chest with Grimlock. I mean, Grimlock was ready to take it to him as well, but then we separated and I guess that showed that we weren’t a threat anymore. Of course, that wasn’t the case, because now that we had Shockwave with us, we stood a better chance, but fighting wasn’t really the point of the training. And from what I could tell, Shockwave tried to keep their attention away from the fact that Measor was so fast and agile. I think they were all wrapped up in the conflict and the reasons for it, so maybe that detail wasn’t as obvious. Not to the Autobots anyway. Whatever they said to each other, Shockwave and Grimlock settled it right then and there, and we just left without having to answer for anything. I mean, the Technobots did start it, and there was no damage to any property, and really the only wounds the Technobots had was to their pride. And, heh heh, Scattershot’s crumpled chest plate. In the end, Shockwave got the new armor battle-tested, and we got to scratch an itch we’ve had for a while. We dented the plating of some Autobots, and it felt good.

Bartender! My tab!

Like I said, I don’t know if that armor was ever utilized, we sure didn’t get it. I know the Autobots didn’t either, I haven’t seen it on any of them. But that was one time I didn’t mind being a test subject for that freak Shockwave. Heh.

Thanks. Here you go. Just charge it.

Anyway, I gotta go. This Engex is hitting me hard. I said before I was gonna cut back, so I gotta stop. Hope you enjoyed the story. It might not have been as exciting as I made it out to be, but hey, when you’re in the middle of a fight, it feels like a long time. Enjoy the rest of your night, I’ll probably see you soon. Hell, I got plenty of stories to tell.

Alright, thanks.

Rodimus Prime
Site Moderator
Posts: 19056
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Joined: Sat Sep 28, 2002 8:31 pm

Re: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:38 am

Maccadam’s Old Oilhouse: Lower Level, Corner Bar; 3rd Stool from the End

Miss me? Haha! I see you’re loaded up for the night! Let me just take a seat right here. I already ordered on the way in, when I saw a couple other bots back there. Anyway, what’s been going on? I haven’t been in here in a while, but it seems like nothing has changed. And I hope it never does! This place is like a second home to me! Well, maybe that says something about my drinking habits, huh? Hahahaha!

Thanks, bartender! This is gonna hit the spot for sure! Keep ‘em coming!

I got a decent story for ya today, if ya got the time. Whoa, this Engex is strong today! Did that little idiot Swerve sneak back there again? Haha! Well, anyway, like I was saying. On the way back here from...well, you don’t need to know that. But on the way back, I was reminded of the time us Stunticons went head-on with those crazybots, the Wreckers. I already told you one time when we threw down with them, but this was different. This was a while later. Now, I don’t know if they remembered the incident from the mountains, but they sure acted like they did. They seemed to be out for payback. I mean, someone sent them there to confront us. Well, we were tearing it up anyway, causing all kinds of ruckus. That’s what we were there to do. Shockwave had ordered us, I don’t know why. Actually, I think I had figured it out later. It was a distraction. For what, I’m not sure. But our instructions were simple: go to Crystal City and start vandalizing it. What do you mean, ‘what?’ The city! The entire city! Those artsy-fartsy losers wouldn’t know what hit them! We figured police presence would be light, never mind actual Autobot military. That place is for artists and do-gooders and wimps like that. I can’t believe I actually spotted a couple of Decepticons down there! Made me want to go over there and stomp their faces in! Decepticons don’t write poetry! Ugh. Anyway, we geared up real good, brought some extra weapons. Those pansies don’t like artillery anyway, they wince and hold up their noses, they think anyone who still carries a weapon in this post-war society is just looking for trouble. To bring back the old ways. The ways of the Transformers before the Primes tried to make everyone a pacifist! Luckily, there were a couple of Primes who didn’t feel that way, huh? Are you against guns? I don’t see you packin’ heat. I mean, yeah, why would you in here, this place is for drinkin’ an’ a good time, but there’s no law that says you can’t bring a blaster in here. Yeah, I know if you pull a gun on someone you’re banned from Maccadam’s for a long time, whether you hurt anyone else or not, but still, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring one in. Of course I did! I always carry. It’s my right! At least until these leakin’-spark Autobots decide to take that away as well! But if they try, they’ll be in for a bad time, I promise you that! They can have my blaster when they pry it from my dead, rigid fingers! What…? I’m out already…?

Hey bartender!

So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Crystal City. And the beatin’ we put on those chumps. Until the Wreckers showed up, anyway. Heh. Yeah, I know. I don’t mind admittin’ when we get our fenders dented in, either! But like I said, they had extra motivation that day!

Thanks, buddy.

The plan was to roll in hot, all guns blazin’. Motormaster didn’t even plan on transformin’ at first, he was just gonna run down anyone he saw. I mean, he was really hell-bent on causing some damage! I think when Shockwave told us to raise hell, he meant to demolish some buildings, maybe scare some bots. But not killin’ anyone! But I guess Motormaster was just in a mood. Hell, when is he not? Anyway, so we roll in there, on the main street, and everyone is just going about their business. Some bots are sitting around, talking. Some are standing, some are walking, and we have a few in front of us who are just driving through, but really slowly. Like they’re looking for someone. But it’s just the limits placed on speed all through the city. Like I said, those nancy-bots don’t care for any kind of aggression at all. They’re all abotu peace, love, and harmony. I don’t think I saw even one of them with a dark paint job! They were all painted light blue, yellow, some were even pink. And they weren’t even fembots! Oh well, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. Anyway, we’re going through, me an’ Wildrider tryin’ to find a place to get this party started, while Dead End and Breakdown just want to get it over with. I was talkin’ about Motormaster bein’ in a mood, well, Dead End was especially depressing that day for some reason. He came out of it a little, once we started shootin’, but he wasn’t much fun to be around most of the time. And I told you about Breakdown, he always worries about himself only. But Motormaster didn’t even say a word, he just kept rollin’. Like he was psychin’ himself up for what we were about to do. I remember, when we got closer to the center of the city, more an’ more bots were lookin’ at us. We were speeding through, but until now we hadn’t caused any problems. I was about to find out that the boss was simply biding his time. He wanted the maximum effect for his first strike, and I think he got it. Anyway, as we were nearing the big open square at the center of the city, you know, where everyone just walked around, ‘no transforming allowed,’ and not even runnin’ or other aggressive movements. I tell ya, these bots are takin’ this no negativity way too far! Well, they were about to experience some serious negativity, thanks to the big M’s front bumper! Hahaha! So we are coming up to the square, and I figure the boss is gonna order us to transform and start taking shots at these wastes of energon. But no, Motormaster just speeds up, makin’ even more bots on the sidewalks take notice, and he just rams the left post that hold up the big sign over the entrance of the square, you know, the one that say ‘no vehicle modes beyond this point.’ Well, they got a load of the big M’s vehicle mode, for sure! Motormaster tore through that post, bringing the sign down as he went through. Lucky for me, I was 3rd in line, because that sign came tumblin’ down, bouncin’ off the back of the boss’s rear wheels, and smashing into Wildrider’s front end! But that crazy pile o’ bolts didn’t even slow down! He went right through the sign, tearin’ it apart, the pieces flying off to the sides! And I guess this was the cue to get down to business, as Wildrider transformed and started taking potshots at the nearby buildings. He wasn’t aimin’ at any bots, just at some real estate. Motormaster, on the other hand, didn’t transform, he just veered off to the side, and smashed through the small vendin’ station in the left corner of the square. I think there were a few idiots who still didn’t realize what was goin’ on, and they got in the way. I know the boss rammed through a few bots tryin’ to get out of the way, but a couple o’ those nancy-bots were too busy with their next ‘project,’ or whatever, and they didn’t pay attention to anythin’ else. You know them, they’re all about themselves, very self-absorbed. Well, they paid for it that day, ‘cause Motormaster rammed one right through that vendin’ station, he was stuck on the boss’ front end when he came through the other side.

Thanks, bartender. A couple more rounds! I’m in a good mood tonight!

So, I followed Wildrider’s lead an’ transformed. I started shootin’ at some buildings too, and by now the bystanders were shoutin’ and runnin’ every which way. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t resist the temptation, I shot a couple o’ them in the skidplate! Haha! But I wasn’t aimin’ to kill. Just tryin’ to make some noise. The plan was to get as much law enforcement attention on us as possible. That’s what the big M told us, anyway. I was worried that we might get caught and have to spend some time in jail, but the boss assured us that our escape had been planned and everything was taken care of. So I thought ‘Fine, let’s go crazy!’ and we did. Breakdown and Bead End got into it as well, even though they stuck to destroying buildings and some of the statues in the square. For some reason Dead End was obsessed with smashing everything inside that square. Statues, benches, he even tried to ram the other vendin’ stations, but of course he couldn’t bring them down, he just messed up his fenders and paint job. Bringin’ them down took some muscle, and only the boss had enough to destroy those stations. Anyway, we were havin’ a good time when the first police units showed up. Have you noticed that most Autobot patrol drones look like Prowl? I mean, I know he’s their police chief and all, but to build the drones to look like you? That’s a bit narcissistic, don’t you think? Oh well, whatever. I mean, if one of them had been Prowl, we might have had a bit more trouble. Prowl is dirtier than the inside of my crankshaft, and he doesn’t mind fightin’ that way. Heh, he would have made a pretty good ‘Con. But as it turned out he wasn’t there, just a bunch of no-name drones. Of course, they went by the book, surroundin’ the square and orderin’ us to cease our activities and get down on our knees, and blah blah blah. Please. Like we were just gonna give up after what we had just started! I know, that’s their procedure and they followed it. I guarantee you, if Prowl actually had been there, he would have gave the order once, for the sake of followin’ procedure, and then without even waitin’ for a response from us, he probably would have just started shootin’. At least I could have respected that! Like I said, he would have made a good ‘Con. But here we were, surrounded by about 20 patrol drones, the squad commander walkin’ into the square with his service blaster out. But instead of doin’ as he ordered, Motormaster just transformed and picked up a big chunk of metal from the second vendin’ station he destroyed, and hurled it at him! The squad leader dodged it, but before he could do anythin’ else, Motormaster had his rifle out and shot him dead center in his chest! Even I was stunned by that, because technically that was the first kill of the day. The idiot he smashed through the vendin’ station lived through it, though he probably wrote some of his poetry from a Medical District station for the next few weeks. Anyway, the squad leader went down, and I guess whoever was his second in command ordered the rest of them to open fire on us. It surprised me a bit, as there were still bystanders around, not many, but enough to have a few stray shots do some damage. Maybe they were either too scared to move, or they were too fascinated by what was goin’ on. After all, Crystal City was the place for serenity and harmony, these bots probably never saw any action before. Even if they were around durin’ the war, they were probably NAILs. You know, loudmouth ‘conscientious objectors,’ or whatever they liked to call themselves. They just didn’t want to admit they didn’t have the ball bearings to pick up a blaster for what they believed in. Those types never do. So anyway, here we were, taking fire from all sides of the square, me an’ Wildrider ducking behind one of the remaining 2 vendin’ stations, while Breakdown and Dead End took cover behind the other one. Motormaster? He just stayed out in the open, returnin’ fire! I mean, he had enough armor to do that, and he was on the shanix that day! Every shot counted! It was like he was at a shootin’ range! One shot, one police drone down. Another shot, another drone down! And he was mainly hittin’ them in the head, too! Good thing they don’t have sparks, they were just police protocol drones, otherwise the big M’s murder could would have gone up quite a bit! I mean, I know he took out quite a few bots durin’ the war, but that was war. This was...I don’t know what. Just us bein’ us, I guess. But I mean, none of the rest of us were out to kill, we just liked trashing stuff, ya know? And maybe that’s how the boss looked at it, too. After all, the drones weren’t actually alive, they were just sophisticated drones, built on an assembly line, capable of basic decisions, but otherwise they stuck to their preprogrammed police protocols.

Bartender! A double shot of E-50!

Heh, like I said before, I’m stayin’ away from the 100 from now on! I want to live a long time! I didn’t get taken out durin’ the war, I sure as scrap don’t want a load of Engex-100 to do me in on a bar stool! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. So Motormaster had taken out I guess 7 or 8 of the drones, and the rest of them wised up and quit tryin’ to take us out, instead they all concentrated their firepower on the boss. As armored as he is, that was too much. Motormaster took a couple of serious hits, and finally hit the ground. He wasn’t out, nor did he give up, he simply covered up until the drones stopped shootin’. Their protocol says that if a subject is in a prone position, they are to stop shootin’ an’ check if said subject is responsive. Well, Motormaster was responsive alright! As soon as the new leader started closin’ in on him, he sprung up faster than I’ve seen him ever before, and he just tackled the lead drone and the one behind him!


Anyway, the others immediately took aim, but didn’t fire because their leader and one of his backup drones was all tangled up with the boss on the ground. Well, in that moment of hesitation, the rest of us decided to get in on the action, and I started the action with a well-placed shot to another drone’s head. He went down without a sound. Now, if you have been countin’, that left 10 police drones, includin’ the 2 the boss took down. Well, we figured we would tangle with them until they were down as well, and then get outta there, as there were bound to be more reinforcements comin’ in, and considerin’ the damage we were doin’, probably some serious response was on the way. Well, at the time we had no idea just how serious! Apparently, after the 4th or 5th drone was shot in the face by the boss, one of the others ran back to their police transport and sent out a signal for backup. He must have given some exaggerated details, because here came an entire shuttle load of drones! I mean, there must have been about 4 squads in that shuttle! That’s 80 drones! I mean, once we combined into the big bot, I’m sure we could have handled them, but as it was, they were comin’ at us from all sides! We took up defensive positions in the square, and the fight was on! Wildrider was sure in his element, goin’ crazy with the blaster, I think he went through about 5 or 6 clips. That’s a lot of shootin’, considerin’ each clip contains enough energon for about 200 shots! But we were holdin’ our own, and the drones were droppin’ pretty fast. Damn, I’m out again.

Bartender! One more!

Do you know Crystal City well? No? Alright, well, on the other side from where we went in, the main road goes under a few bridges. I guess there are some inter-city roads going by, you know, from Iacon to maybe Praxus or the Tagan Heights. I mean, Crystal City is well-known, but it’s not a big place. It doesn’t warrant a huge road system to be built for it. Besides, it’s mostly visited by those artist types, and there aren’t a lot of them on Cybertron. Most bots are occupied with more everyday responsibilities and don’t waste their energon doin’ all that...whatever those bots do. Anyway, Motormaster decided it was time for us to kick things up a notch, so he ordered us to combine. I have told you about what happens when we unite into Menasor, right? Well, we did, and for some reason, I felt a strong sense of rage after the combination. As if Motormaster’s anger, combined with Wildrider’s insanity and Dead End’s penchant for seeing all things dead was just too much for our collective consciousness. Breakdown and I didn’t really have any input, we just let the others take control. You could tell, because since Dead End and Wildrider form the big bot’s legs, Menasor was kickin’ at every drone he saw instead of shootin’ and smashin’ them. It was like a game of kickball to him, and the drones went flyin’! Haha! Then he started to get serious, and instead of puntin’ them away, he simply started steppin’ on the ones that didn’t get away fast enough. Sure, they were shootin’ at us constantly, but Menasor is well-armored, especially after Shockwave installed that special combiner-armor I told you about last time, and nothin’ was hurtin’ us. But then, just as we were workin’ our way down to the last dozen or so police drones, we noticed somethin’ comin’ on one of the highways that comes from Iacon. Menasor was tall enough to see over most of the small buildings, and we saw them: it was the Wreckers. Well, some of them, along with Ultra Magnus. Was Magnus ever a member of the Wreckers? We saw them together enough times, he might as well have been. I mean, I know he was a high-rankin’ bot, so he can commandeer pretty much any of the Autobots, an’ I guess he wanted a piece of the action as bad as the others did, considerin’ what we did to ‘em in the mountains. So here they came, in vehicle mode: Magnus roarin’ down the highway, Kup, Topspin an’ Twin Twist in vehicle mode on his trailer, while Springer flew behind them in helicopter mode. I’m not sure where the others were, I know there are more Wreckers than that. Or were, anyway. I know a lot of them got killed in the war, they were all hotheads who went into a battle all guns blazin’, not carin’ about the consequences. An’ a lot of them paid for it with their lives. An’ sure enough, on this day they lived up to their reputation. I was just surprised that Magnus was with them, and he acted just like them! I mean, this is Ultra Magnus we’re talkin’ about! Cool, calm, collected Ultra Magnus. I guess he was rememberin’ the trashin’ we gave him the last time we had seen them and it got him fired up. So we turned toward the bridge, ignorin’ the blasts from the drones that were now hittin’ Menasor in the back. They registered, but didn’t really do much damage. We got ready, figurin’ that the Wreckers would all transform on the bridge and charge at us! But then, the damnedest thing! Magnus simply cut the wheel and drove straight through the guardrail on the side of the bridge, and came sailing over the side, down to the road to Crystal City below! When he was in midair, the 3 Wreckers on his trailer all jumped off, transforming in the air, and landed on the road next to and behind Magnus. Just as we expected, they took out their guns and started shootin’ at us. Magnus, however, didn’t transform. He just kept comin’, straight for us, as Springer flew above him, layin’ down cover fire. This is when it first occurred to Motormaster that things were gettin’ serious. The drones were still behind us, and even though there were only about 10 or 12 of them left, that’s 12 blasters aimed at us. We knew the Wreckers would have more serious firepower, so we concentrated on them first. Menasor started going toward them, now raising his rifle, takin’ shots at the 3 Wreckers following Magnus. They were runnin’ behind him, as he was bearin’ down on us, with Springer’s shots hittin’ us in the chest and shoulders. Menasor bent down, picked up a deactivated drone’s body and hurled it at him. It caused Springer to veer off, and Menasor now concentrated on Magnus. However, Magnus slowed down in the meantime, and the other 3 Wreckers jumped up on his trailer in bot mode. Magnus then sped back up, and the others held on with one hand and fired their blasters with the other.

Bartender! One last round!

Anyway, Menasor picked up another deactivated drone and threw it at Magnus. But Magnus wasn’t as skittish as Springer had been, and the dead body smashed into his front bumper. Magnus just kept comin’! So Menasor took aim and started shootin’ at the bot. That got their attention! Magnus swerved, and even though the shots missed him, the other Wreckers were forced to jump off.

Thanks, big bot. This is the last one. Just add up my tab.

So Menasor started shootin’ at them, tryin’ to pick them off before they got close. About this time a couple hard hits slammed into Menasor’s back, and we realized that Springer had flown around to the back of us, and joined the rear attack by the drones. So now we were caught in a serious crossfire. Motormaster decided to keep our attention on Magnus, who now came to a stop and was transformin’. Well, Menasor took a couple o runnin’ steps and kicked Magnus just as he finished transformin’. The big Autobot took the kick dead center in his chest, and it lifted him up an’ sent him sailin’ into one of the buildings. He crashed right through the front of it, whole thing collapsin’ in on him. But I tell ya that kick hurt us, too. When we’re connected, we feel each other’s thought and pain as well, and we all knew that Dead End, who was the leg Motormaster used to kick Magnus, was hurtin’ real bad. That big bot mjust have some tough armor on him. So Menasor went down on one knee, as Dead End couldn’t support us for the moment. Not until he regained his bearings a bit. This gave the others an opportunity to concentrate their fire on Menasor’s head, and we took some good licks. Needless to say, the drones kept firing at us from the back and sides, and now our armor started runnin’ thin, especially on the shoulders. But we were shootin’ back at Kup an’ the others. They were forced to take cover and we were gettin’ ready to get back up an’ stomp them real good, but then Springer got a couple lucky shots in on us, hittin’ the back of Menasor’s head dead center. That knocked all 5 of us silly for a moment, and we went down, face first. The other Wreckers then concentrated their fire, and we were taking some serious damage to the chest and arms, as we were coverin’ up. Down on their level, we made a pretty easy target, bein’ as big as we were. Motormaster then gave the order to disengage. So we separated, and we all rolled around to some kind of cover in the ruins. There wasn’t much, because we were completely surrounded, Wreckers on one side, drones on the other. The boss analyzed the situation, and figured it was time to hit the road. So he transformed and started down the street, aimed straight at the 3 Wreckers, who were tryin’ to close off our escape. By now Springer had landed, seein’ Menasor disengage, and started shootin’ at us on the ground. But we followed the boss’s lead and transformed as well, figurin’ the big M would smash his way through and we’d just follow him. But out of nowhere, through the ruins of the front of the building he crashed into, Magnus came roarin’ out in truck mode, and smashed directly into Motormaster, knockin’ the boss into another building. I was right behind him and couldn’t stop in time, so I smashed into Magnus’s trailer, and the impact jarred my transformation cog, triggering an involuntary transformation. The others stopped, and immediately came under fire, as soon as Magnus drove out of the way. I managed to grab onto his trailer, and I went for a ride. The other Stunticons all transformed and took up the firefight against the 3 Wreckers, and I found myself holding on as Magnus drove down the street, back towards Springer and the drones! Well, that wasn’t good! So I let go, and went tumblin’ across the street. In what seemed like an instant, I was surrounded by drones, all of them pointin’ their blasters at me! So, of course, I did what any sane bot would do, I just threw my blaster down and put my hands up. Well, as I said before, not all of us Stunticons fit the definition of ‘sane,’ especially not Wildrider or Motormaster. As the others were holdin’ their own against the other Wreckers, Motormaster came out of the building he was rammed into, in robot mode and full of rage. His first shots hit Topspin, sendin’ the Autobot tumblin’ across the street. That made Twin Twist turn to shoot the big M, and he got taken out by Breakdown and Dead End. Wildrider and Kup just kept at each other, seemingly oblivious to anyone else. Of course, by now Magnus had turned around, and with Springer on his trailer, was tearin’ back down the street toward the others. Springer was firin’ away, shootin’ the others in the back. I couldn’t do anythin’, I was pinned down by the drones. But then, all of a sudden, just as Magnus had made it down there and smashed into Motormaster yet again, a shuttle appeared from above, and dropped a bunch of cluster bombs all around us. It hovered for a while, and finally the doors opened. The bombs had scattered the drones, as well as sent the Wreckers for cover, but Magnus wasn’t havin’ it, he started shootin’ right at the shuttle, both his blaster and his rockets. The shuttle shook under the artillery attack, and the ramp lowered down far enough for us to grab it. I was up first, and when I got inside, Starscream was waitin’ for me. ‘Good timing!’ I told him, and he just smirked at me. Then, one by one, the others made it to the ramp, and we pulled them all up. Motormaster was last, as he took a good hit from Magnus, who was causin’ some serious damage to the shuttle. ‘Hurry up!’ I heard someone else yellin’ from the cockpit. It was Thundercracker, one of Starscream’s flyin’ buddies. Apparently Shockwave had sent them, with instructions to not get into the fight, only to lift us out. So as Motormaster grabbed onto the end of the ramp, Skywap, the other occupant of the cockpit, kept Magnus at bay with the shuttle’s guns, and we flew up. Starscream an’ I pulled the boss up, but damn, was he heavy! I guess that’s the price for all that heavy armor. Anyway, that was a good fight, and I gotta admit, we were gettin’ scrapped pretty good until the flybots showed up. I never did find out why we needed to cause that distraction, apparently it was so that Shockwave could test-run another of his experiments. But that was another memorable encounter with the Wreckers. I’ll tell ya, I’ll never forget the sight of Magnus crashing off that bridge, with the other ridin’ on his back like wildbots. Alright, I gotta go, I need a nice long session on a recharge slab.


I’ll be back soon, though, I don’t have anythin' planned for a while.

Here. Just charge it.

Alright, you take it easy now, ya hear? See ya soon.
Rodimus Prime
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Posts: 19056
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Re: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Sun Dec 31, 2017 3:38 am

Whoa! Look who it is! Ya know, you’re becoming my new favorite drinkin’ buddy! Hah! That lightweight Runamuck couldn’t keep up anymore, I guess. I haven’t seen him in here in a long time. Or maybe he finally gave in to that whiny Runabout and stopped drinkin’ altogether. Anyway, how have ya been? Oh yeah? That sounds real interesting.

Bartender! 2 double shots of Engex 50!

I’m gonna start this night right. You stayin’ a while? Good. ‘Cause I got a good one for ya tonight! Well, one you might not believe, but it’s true. It really happened! It’s one of those stories that will

Oh, thanks! And get my friend here 2 more rounds of whatever he’s having! I have a feeling he’ll be around a while.

This story is out there, I promise ya. Oh, that’s good Engex. Alright, this is about none other than the mad scientist himself, Shockwave. He’s...what? Wheeljack? Hahaha! Are you serious? Yeah, Wheeljack has come up with some wacky stuff, but he’s not even close to what Shockwave is capable of! Puh-lease! No no no, Shockwave is as sharp as he is depraved. You know, I think if he hadn’t spent so much time hunkered down in his lab, he might have helped us actually win the war. And then, he could have had all the test subjects he had ever wanted! But he was too greedy! Well, too greedy for knowledge and experiments, I guess. And yeah, some of his experiments did lead to the Decepticons having the upper hand in the war for a while. Like the Triplechangers and the gestalts. Not perfect, but the end results were pretty good. Yeah, Blitzwing did lose his mind for a while there, but he ended up settling down. Shockwave had to tinker with him for a bit, but it turned out alright. Besides, looking back, I’m sure he considers it a small price to pay for the ability to both fly and hand a ground alt mode. I mean, I could tell in his personality. You know those flyers, they all have some screws loose, some more than others *coughcough*Starscream*coughcough* hahaha! But seriously, Shockwave was a genius, even though for every one of his successes he had 10 failures. But hey, that’s how you get results, right? Just keep trying. Well, I’m about to tell you about one of his failures. I mean, it’s no secret, it’s public record now, so you can check on it if you don’t believe me, or if you think something like that would be kept a secret. But I was there, so you can take my word for it.

Bartender! 2 more!

So, anyway, this was something else. It happened after Trypticon first came to Earth. I don’t know if you remember that, or heard about it, but it was a big deal. His failure, I mean. The Dinobots

Thanks, big bot. I think we’ll be alright for a while.

Anyway, back when the Decepticons had the only space bridge between Cybertron and Earth, they used it to send Trypticon through, counting on him to destroy the Ark and pretty much give the Decepticons the win right then and there. Optimus had just killed himself, the idiot, hah! He killed himself over a video game! Then, right after that, Megatron lost whatever few marbles he still had rolling around in that bucket on his head, and decided to fight Predaking to the death. Well, technically he won the fight, but by the end he was so messed up he didn’t know his own exhaust vent from a hole in the ground. So with Prime and Megatron gone, Shockwave thought the fight was pretty much over, and with him in charge, the Decepticons would return to Cybertron and finish off the resistance here after taking out the Earth-bound Autobots. But he and Ratbat both got greedy. They thought they could deal with the Autobots in one quick strike, and they sent Trypticon through. On his way to the Ark, Trypticon ran into the Dinobots, and as his bad luck would have it, Grimlock was in a particularly bad mood, because he had just been rejected by the Autobots as their new leader in the wake of Optimus’s demise. I don’t know if Trypticon would have won under other circumstances, but on that night he got his big tail handed to him by the Dinos. Ratbat called him right back through the bridge, he never even made it to the Ark. Ironically, beating the big dummy convinced the Autobots that Grimlock was a capable leader, and he got to lead the Autobots for a while. Well, Shockwave wasn’t

Oh, hey! I haven’t seen you around! Still cleaning up after the other idiots? Hah! Nah, I’m just tellin’ old war stories. Hey! I’m not lying! You got me confused with Swindle, hehehe! Alright, thanks! I’ll tell him. Yeah, right. See ya later.

That was Rippersnapper. You know him? He’s a Terrorcon. He’s an idiot. Well, they’re all idiots, haha. And they were there too! The story I’m about to tell you? They were a part of it! All the combiners were! I mean, this was right before Shockwave took a header into Earth’s atmosphere from Ratbat’s spaceship. You know, the one that was disguised as a tropical island on Earth? Remember that? Hah. Anyway, it was right after Scorponok arrived, chasing Fortress Maximus from Nebulos to Earth. The Terrorcons came with him, and all the Decepticon gestalts were there, except for Devastator, because those moron Constructicons managed to get themselves caught by the Autobots in that fiasco with Omega Supreme. How stupid was that? Maybe it was good that Devastator wasn’t a part of Shockwave’s little experiment, because it would have been an even bigger disaster than it turned out to be. But the others were there. Us, the Combaticons, the Predacons, the Seacons, and the Terrorcons. I remember it like it happened yesterday, even though it messed my head up pretty bad. Damn, even now it leaves me a bit speechless. What? Haha, whatever! Anyway, let me get to the story.

Bartender! A shot of Engex 80!

What? No, it’ll be alright. Yeah, I said I would lay off the Engex 100, but I the 80 is pretty strong, too. It does the job just as well. So do you want to hear this or what? Alright, then. So we get orders to go to this secret underground base that Shockwave had been building. No one knew, not even Ratbat. He was the other commander, but I guess Shockwave wanted to keep some things just to himself. Anyway, I remember walking in, all 5 of us. Motormaster up front, I’m right behind him, the other 3 Stunticons following me. We were the last to arrive, as we had been the furthest from the base. The others were already there, and apparently Shockwave had already started the procedure. The place was a giant open room, with all kinds of equipment all over the walls. Readers, scanners, anything else that twisted one-eyed freak could think of. So the members of the other teams were all standing around, it seemed they each had their own designated place. When we got there, Soundwave was standing by the door, a datapad in his hand. Looked like he was taking readings of the others. They were all hooked up to some sort of computer or something that was up on the 2nd level. Wires and hoses went to all their heads and chests, with one going directly into the backs of their heads. Their optics had a strange light in them, but they were all motionless, like they were all in stasis lock or something. But I could tell they were functioning. Their minds seemed to be totally shut down. And we had to go through this as well? I was worried, and I’m not gonna lie, I was a bit scared. Shockwave was about to use us as test subjects for something. We could have said no, I guess, but Motormaster agreed to it, and he’s our commander. So if I refused, I would have gone against my team leader as well as Shockwave, and it wouldn’t have ended well for me. So I went with it. I remember walking through the other bots, just standing there motionless, it creeped me out a little. They reminded me of the empties in the Dead Ends of Cybertron. You know, the ones whose bodies and cerebral casings are all but gone to rust and they’re just walking around, shuffling and muttering to themselves? But these ‘Cons were healthy and full, they just seemed to be totally out of it. So anyway, Soundwave leads us to our spots, and we all get hooked up. Ugh, I can still feel that plug going into the back of my head. It was...I don’t know. It felt like my mind wasn’t mine anymore. Soundwave told us to just relax, to would be a painless procedure. Yeah, right. Well, technically, the process was painless, as far as they knew. What happened after they were done messing with our heads is where the pain came in. But what do they know? They’re not combiners. That comes with certain unique experiences, both good and bad. And this one was bad, let me tell ya. I don’t know if Shockwave screwed up his calculations somewhere, or he knew what was gonna happen and still went ahead with it anyway. If he did, it wouldn’t surprise me, he’s as sick as I’ve ever known. But I guess to come up with some of the things he did, he would have to be. Anyway, after we got all hooked up, Shockwave activated the equipment above us, and I could feel it almost immediately. He was uploading some kind of programming to my cerebral center. Suddenly, I couldn’t feel my arms or legs, but somehow I stayed standing. Like Shockwave was taking remote control of my limbs. It was weird. Then, something happened. I’m not sure what, but it felt like I had just woken up from a long stasis lock. Has that ever happened to you? That weird sensation that your systems are just booting up? It was just a flash, and I didn’t lose memory or anything, but it still felt like my body was...different, somehow. My chest was burning. The back of my head was burning. I still couldn’t feel my limbs. I managed to get a look at the others in front of me. I couldn’t move my head either, and my audio receptors were full of some kind of static, but my optics worked fine. Except I could only look forward. I saw Razorclaw, Motormaster, Sinnertwin, Rippersnapper, the idiot we just talked to a minute ago, and Divebomb. They were all looking up, their optics brighter than I have ever seen.

Whoa! Watch it, buddy! I think you’ve had enough for tonight! Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. Go sit down somewhere before you hurt yourself.

Haha, lightweight. If you can’t handle your Engex, you shouldn’t be coming in here. Idiot. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I could see the changes happening. Their bodies were also different somehow. I mean, they weren’t bigger, and they didn’t grow a 3rd arm from their backs or anything, but...they were different. And then. Then, I could feel it! Inside me, the burning sensation dulled, and I could feel my insides...they were reconfiguring themselves! I couldn’t see anything on the outside, but it was happening! My head went from looking straight ahead, to looking down, and now I could feel it tilting up, the burning behind my optics becoming sharper. It wasn’t unbearable pain, but it was damn uncomfortable. I could programming rewriting itself. While I was awake! I mean, that’s something that could drive a bot insane! Or burn out the connections of my cerebral circuits! Then I’d be really in stasis lock, if not worse! Anyway, here we were, undergoing Primus knows what kind of changes, at the whim of that madbot, and I was helpless! I was awake, i could feel everything, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I don’t think I was ever more scared in my life! And then...then it started happening! I felt...I felt my mind connecting with the others. And not just the Stunticons, like we do when we combine, but all the others in the room! Every single other bot! It was kind of exhilarating, but it also felt...wrong, somehow. Anyway, I started sensing the connections to the others. Every single cerebral unit that was tied up to shockwave’s machines. The Predacons, the Terrorcons, the Seacons, and the Combaticons. And let me tell ya, some of those minds were scary! Heh, and not the ones you would suspect! Then I finally saw the physical changes in me come to the surface. My legs, my arms, and my lower torso, they all changed. Like if I transformed right then, I would look different. I was wondering what would happen if I did, but it was a moot point, because as I said, I didn’t have control of myself. I was basically a living puppet on Shockwave’s strings. All I could see were Shockwave and Soundwave, standing over us on the upper level. Shockwave had ordered Soundwave up there, “just in case,” he said. That made me uneasy! If even Shockwave wasn’t sure what was gonna happen, then what about us? What were we going to go through? Well, I didn’t have to wait long to find out. My head had tilted back down, and now I was looking straight ahead. The burning sensation in my head was dulled, and I saw the others...differently. I don’t know how, but I imagine by then my optics were glowing just like I saw the others’. Whatever they were doing, I could still use them, and I saw. Razorclaw, Divebomb, Rippersnapper, and Sinnertwin, they were all changed! Motormaster wasn’t yet, but he was going through it. I guess because we got there late, the others were further ahead in the procedure. But I saw it. The others were configured themselves into their forms where they became part of their respective gestalts. But...they looked different. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I saw the other Predacons, Headstrong, Rampage and Tantrum, come into my field of vision and attach themselves to Razorclaw. But they didn’t walk there, they floated! Like, they were a few meters off the ground, and they just floated to Razorclaw, like he was pulling them somehow. Divebomb also joined them, and they combined, right there! I saw Sinnertwin and Rippersnapper float away at the same time, they must have gotten pulled to Hun-grr, their team leader. So now I’m looking at Predaking, standing in front of me, with all those wires and tubes still attached to the individual Predacons. But after they were done combining, it didn’t stop!

Bartender! Another E-80!

What? No, I’ll be fine. Anyway, I’m standing there, my attention divided between the Predacons and what they’re going through, and Motormaster, who finally started to change physically. Then...I felt something. Like a pull or something, towards the big M. It was like the feeling I got when we combine, except a 100 time stronger. Like, as if being apart from him was somehow…wrong. But then, my attention focused back on Predaking, as he was still configuring! The Predacons who formed his legs kinds just folded up, like, I don’t know how to explain it. They became part of the main body, like they joined with Razorclaw to become one body. Then the arms did the same, and now all I saw was one big block of Predacons, with no distinct features. Then…then, out of nowhere, Abominus came into view. But he wasn’t the same, just like Predaking wasn’t the same. I couldn’t really make out details, because by now the dull burning in my head was really messing with me, and whatever little focus I could muster was directed towards Motormaster, and I could feel a relentlessly growing urge to combine with him. Then, as I tried to keep my attention on the others, I began moving! I was floating! Just like I saw the Predacons do! I floated right to where Motormaster was, and without realizing it, I was already in my arm configuration for Menasor, and I just attached myself to him. But for some reason, I could still see! That’s not normal during our combination. But then I remembered, this wasn’t a normal combination. I was connected to every other bot in the room! What the hell was happening to me?! I kinda freaked out a bit, but it was all in my head, I couldn’t move my limbs. I couldn’t feel them, and I was already in combined configuration, and we can’t move our limbs in that mode anyway. But then, suddenly, I heard a voice! It was Motormaster! He was telling me to calm down and just follow the new programming. So I did. I focused on what was going inside my body instead of what I was looking at. And I could feel it! I was different! I felt the others also combine to Motormaster, and we were now in full Menasor mode. But just like Predaking and Abominues before us, we didn’t stop there! We kept changing! I became attached to Motormaster at the side, as if Menasor himself was configuring to be a limb, just like I had done. My vision was still clear, and with the new procedure, my line of sight changed. Now I was looking at the others whom I couldn’t see before. The Seacons and the Combaticons. They had gone through the same thing! Piranacon, the Seacons’ gestalt, a huge block of mashed-up bots. Then I saw it! Predaking, or whatever Predaking became, had attached itself to Piranacon! He was attached at the lower right corner, and I could see the metal and wires from one intertwine and fuse together with the other! It was...fascinating and kinda creepy at the same time. It was like...watching a wound heal really fast. It just seemed…unnatural. Then, out of nowhere, Abominus was there as well, or the…whatever that he turned into, and he attached to Piranacon from the other side. Then the whole mess of them just, stood up! Predaking and Abominus on the floor, and Piranacon above them! The bottom half of both Predaking and Abominus had turned into these support stands, it looked like. But then I realized what they were. They were feet! Because the had become legs! Legs for the body that was now Piranacon! Suddenly, as we got closer to them…it…whatever, I realized what was happening. We were becoming part of a combiner! A combiner combiner! Piranacon had made up the main body, Predaking and Abominus were the legs, and we and the Combaticons must have become the arms! The procedure was getting close to completion, and we were in the process of being attached to Piranacon, to become this super-combiner’s arm.

What? Oh no, no more, thanks. I’m almost done. Just the bill.

But you know what happened when we finally attached? I could all of a sudden hear every other bot’s thoughts! I mean, I could hear them before, but they became sort of background noise to what I was focusing on. But now, now it was unreal. I heard everyone clearly! That’s a lot of damn voices! I mean, 6 Seacons, 5 Predacons, 5 Terrorcons, 5 Combaticons, and the other 4 Stunticons! You’re talking 25 other voices inside my head, next to my own! But for some reason I could distinctly make out all of them. Like I was in a conversation with 25 other bots. I’m not sure what Shockwave did, but he must have fine-tuned the combiner process, to be able to do this. To get us to combine and then combine again, and not go crazy from it? That was...a miracle. But soon after it turned into a nightmare. As Soundwave explained it later, Shockwave had made the program to connect the minds of the team leaders, in order to get the super-combiner to function. He figured since the individual gestalts were controlled by the team leaders’ consciousness, only their minds were required to contribute to this new combiner’s consciousness. He didn’t take into consideration that even though the team leaders are in control of their respective combiners, the other team members’ minds are still a part of that combiner. So when the final phase of Shockwave’s programming kicked in, it was like I got cut out of this new living being I was now a part of, and I felt...I felt dead. Motionless. Useless. Like I was just floating there, not functioning anymore. My mind was again only my own, I couldn’t hear anyone else. My body was functioning and moving, as it was connected to the Seacons through my connection to Motormaster, but I wasn’t in control of it, nor could I feel anything. It was kind of what an out of body experience must feel like. I wondered if the others were going through the same thing. And if they were, how the hell was this…thing capable of moving? This huge monster that Shockwave just created, it was stumbling around in this giant room. I could see, from my point of view, as I was Menasor’s arm, I became this new combiner’s shoulder component. I couldn’t see straight ahead, but I did see Shockwave standing on the platform, which was now level with me, that’s how tall this monster was, and he seemed so...small. I also saw the head of the super-combiner, and let me tell ya, it wasn’t pretty. Try and picture a manifestation of all 5 team leaders. Snaptrap, who was the leader of the Seacons who were the main body, must have had more influence on the melded minds and the others, because the head looked most like his, even though it had features from everyone else. The back of its head had the square shape like Motormaster, the sides had a resemblance to Hun-grr, the forehead all Bruticus, and the optics were just like Razorclaw. But the rest, the mouth, the sides of the face, and the front between the mouth and optics looked like Snaptrap. It was...freaky. And I was a part of this thing! But like I said, it felt like I was an outside observer, as I had no connection to anyone else. When the connection protocol for the team leaders kicked in, it shut out everyone else.

Okay, thanks. I’ll pay up on my way out. Won’t be long now.

So basically, Shockwave had a monstrous behemoth who couldn’t control itself, because it thought all its limbs were dead. Motormaster later told me for him it felt like being part of a regular combiner, except he wasn’t in control. Apparently, since the Seacons made up the main body, Snaptrap had more control over the super-combiner than anyone else. The others could give their own input, but the body didn’t move unless Snaptrap allowed it. But at the same time, he couldn’t make each individual limb move, unless the team leader of the gestalt that made up that specific limb had agreed to it. So basically it was a stalemate of wills. Had the team leaders been a cohesive unit, it would have been an awesome result. A super-combiner, made up of 5 individual combiners. Could you imagine? It would have been unstoppable! But for some reason Shockwave could never figure out that last little bit of programming, where we could all be a seamless part of it. Then it would have been truly a perfect creation! But as it was, it was basically a monstrous body for Snaptrap to control, with its own limbs protesting and fighting his every mental command. It was a mess. I’ll give it to Shockwave, though, he had imagination. If he could have made that programming work at the end, and the combiner combiner had become sentient, the Autobots wouldn’t have had a chance. Anyway, Shockwave is no fool, and the one thing he did build into the combiner program was a failsafe. He must have known that if the project succeeded and the super-combiner became a being of its own, it would have been unstoppable, even by Shockwave himself. So he embedded a command that launched our separation protocol in the event we got out of control or something else happened. And this was his second mistake. Instead of simply reversing the combination process, where we detach as gestalts, then reconfigure to our gestalt forms, then separate individually and transform back into our individual robot modes, we just fell apart. I mean, 26 bots, just all came apart at the seams, and everyone just fell down, all in a big pile. And this is where the pain started. Once the separation protocol kicked in, it reversed our mental processes, and the sensation overload was too much to handle. We went from not feeling anything to hearing the voices and feeling the connection to everyone else, even if for a second, and it was too much. Some of us went offline from it, even though I wasn’t one. I stayed conscious, but it hurt like hell. I know Brawl, Blast Off, Wildrider, Breakdown, 3 or 4 of the Seacons, and a couple of the Terrorcons were all out. For some reason all 5 of the Predacons remained conscious. I guess their minds are pretty strong as well. So I’m trying to stand up, I’m pulling these stupid wires and tubes out of my chest and head, and when I pull the cable attached directly into the back of my head out, it’s like someone smashed me in the back of the skull with something. I felt my arm and legs stiffen up, and I fell straight forward. Then the pain came back, starting in my guts and radiating out. It became an unbearable burning sensation, and I finally passed out.

Hey! Needlenose! What’s going on? Yeah, I know. We’ll catch up soon. I’m about to get out of here. I’ve had enough for one night. Yeah, alright. Later.

Anyway, later Soundwave said that because I disconnected the cable from the back of my head before Shockwave had a chance to fully reverse the process, my body automatically reconfigured itself into what I was programmed as when my body was constructed. It was like someone had hit a reset button. And without a program to take my body through the process step by step, al my innards tried to fix themselves all at once. So basically I wrecked myself from the inside out, and had to spend some serious time in a CR chamber. Luckily Ratbat’s island base was well equipped. A few others did the same thing and they suffered the same consequences. I’m not sure if Shockwave ever perfected that program, because he never got te opportunity to try it again. Soon after this happened the whole mess with the base launching into space happened and you know how that ended for Shockwave. I don’t know. Maybe one day it could be something to be tried again. But some of those combiner teams aren’t the same as they were, so who knows. All I know is that it was a hell of an experience, for better and for worse. I gotta give it to Shockwave, he is a creative freak, and has the bearings to follow through. Too bad he didn’t prepare for every contingency. The end result could have been something special. But there it is, I told you I’d tell you something way out there. But it did happen. I’m just relieved I lived to tell about it. Okay, I gotta get going. I’ll see ya again soon, I’m sure. No one serves Engex like Maccadam’s. Take it easy for now, don’t take it too far. Later.
Rodimus Prime
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Posts: 19056
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Re: Stories from a wild and crazy 'Con.

Postby Rodimus Prime » Tue Jan 30, 2018 3:18 am

Well, look who finally showed up! I beat you to the place for once! Hah! Have a seat!

Bartender! 2 shots of Engex-50!

You want anything?

2 more of the same!

So how is it going? Haven’t seen you in a while. I’m doing good, you know, just relaxing. Haven’t had much to do lately, with the whole reorganizing and whatnot. But I do have a good story for you tonight. This one is from way back in the day. Like, pre-war, pre-Decepticons. When everything was still fine and dandy. Or so the Autobots thought! Hahahaha! Anyway

Oh, thanks! I needed these! Bring me 2 tall cans of regular as well, will ya?

Where was I? Oh yeah. An old story. Way back from the gladiatorial days. Have you heard a lot about the contests that went on underground? The fights that helped the Decepticons organize? So you know about that part, but not much. Alright then, I’ll tell you about it. I really get a kick out of telling them, especially since we did it under the Autobots’ noses and they had no clue! If only they bothered to take a closer look at all of us toiling in the mines and lowly transport services, instead of thinking they were better than us simply because of our alt modes, they might have realized what was going on and put a stop to it in time. But they were too damn arrogant, and look what happened! Yeah, we still lost the war, but it was a hell of a fight! If only the Decepticon hierarchy could keep it together, we would have steamrolled the Autobots into submission, then into oblivion! But you know how they were, Megatron and Shockwave, and all the others! Hell when this started, Shockwave wasn’t even a Decepticon! He was a Cybertronian senator, as was Ratbat. Yeah, this all started with Megatron, all right. And for good reason. He was kind of the gladiator arenas. It helped that the main arena was under Tarn, when Megatron lived and worked, so he could go to all the fights. That’s why he became who he became, you know? I mean, he had the ambition and the ruthlessness to win all the time, but he gained the recognition because he was present for every single event, and the reason he could do that was because he lived there. Thunderwing lived in Polyhex, and that place had its own arena, but not all the events were staged there. Soundwave was from Kaon, which had its own setup, and of course he became the headliner there, but it still wasn’t the same as Tarn. The big deal was always Tarn. This helped Megatron ascend to the top of the heap faster and with more prominence than the others. This is why he became leader.

Bartender! 2 more tall cans! And 2 more for my friend!

Anyway, since you don’t know how the fights were set up, let me give you a little background. At the end of every work cycle, most of us workers simply returned to our hab suites, or came to places like this. We weren’t thought of as anything but labor and equipment. Functionism at its finest. Well, that didn’t sit well with a lot of us. Sure, some accepted it, and just did their job until it was time to stop for a recharge. But a lot of us wondered why we had to the job constantly, and why couldn’t we change our lives to do something else. Surely our alt modes could be amended, right? Just because we started out as something, didn’t mean we had to stay that way. But that kind of talk was stopped swiftly and abruptly by those in charge. Hell, some of us even went missing, if you know what I mean. So those in the higher ranks were definitely not letting any kind of change occur naturally. And when you keep something like that under pressure, eventually it explodes to the surface. And so the Decepticon revolution was born.

Thanks. Yeah, I should be good for a while.

Anyway, sooner or later, we were holding meetings, just us workers, to vent our frustrations and debate what we should do. At this point everything was just hypothetical, you understand? We knew there was nothing we could do. What could we do? Refuse to work? They’d just bring in lower level drones and we’d be out of a job. There goes our shanix and our energon rations. So we just kept our heads down, but we didn’t give up. And then, one day I was approached by a bot named Skullcruncher. Ol’ Skully had been a drill operator down in the lowest part of the mines, down in the bottom of the shafts. He asked me what I thought about our situation, and thinking that it wouldn’t get any further than that, I spilled my frustrations and ideas to him about wanting to change things. Then he asked me what I would do if I actually could? I said whatever I was able to. You see, in the mines, I was pretty fast, just like I still am. I wasn’t very big, so they didn’t use me on the front lines, I was a transporter. I moved loads of debris as well as mined natural resources. But I was also fast on my own wheels, and this is what Skully told me they were looking for. ‘They’ being the organizers of what would become the revolution. It started out as an union of sorts, where we tried to band together to stand up against those in control of the mining operations. But not just anyone could join this ‘union.’ Just because a bot was a miner, or some other labor unit, didn’t mean he was fit to be a part of the resistance. We did have a lot of skid-plate shiners and snitches in our midst. But I remember the night I got to meet the leaders. Skullcruncher told me on the way that he had been watching me for a while and that I was a hustler, and that was a good asset. He said he had mentioned me to some of the others and he was asked to bring me around. Basically, he said, he was vouching for me, and that I shouldn’t let him down. That kinda put me on edge, but I was happy to be included nonetheless. I had been wanting to find my purpose that was better than driving a load of scrap from a mine shaft to the surface. So that night, I was let in. And let me tell ya, it was definitely a surprise to see some of the faces that were there. Of course, Megatron was present. He had been one of the most outspoken detractors of our superiors. With him was Soundwave, who was mostly quiet, and a bit creepy even. If you’re not familiar with him, just look up hs profile in the archives, you’ll see. As a former high-ranking Decepticon, he’s probably still under probation, if not still in a jail cell somewhere. I haven’t seen him in a few vorns. Anyway, a few others you might know where there was well, like Starscream and his thugs, that weirds Blitzwing, who wasn’t a triplechanger yet, and even a couple of bots who would end up on the other side of the conflict, Grimlock and Inferno. Don’t ask me how they got in there, given that they opposed Megatron openly regarding his methods, but there they were. Maybe Megatron thought if he could turn them, it would be a strong sign to the others that he really knew what he was doing and that we should all back him up. I don’t figure either Grimlock or Inferno to be snitches, so I doubt they sold Megatron out, even if in the end they weren’t with us. But on that night, they were there, and I thought it was gonna end in a fight. Grimlock and Megatron were practically shouting at each other, and it got so bad that some of the others were about to leave. Well, sensing this, Megatron decided to defuse the situation by yielding to Grimlock’s arguments. But I knew then, as we all know now, he was just biding his time. But why do I tell you this? I’m telling you this to preface the story I am about to start. Just a couple more drinks.

Bartender! 2 more!

So, as time goes by, we start getting more and more close on our goals to change things. Some of us leave, either not wanting to be a part of it or being told to leave because they had no use to the leadership. Grimlock and Inferno stayed, though, and they became close in their opposition of Megatron. I’m not saying they wanted to keep things the way they were, but Grimlock especially seemed to know where this was heading, and he tried to change Megatron’s mind, or at least give him other options besides open revolt that could, and would, result in armed conflict which would cost a lot of lives. I guess Grimlock had friends in high places, and he knew that a workers’ uprising would be met with force instead of peaceful discussions. One of those friends was none other than Senator Shockwave, who, believe it or not, was in on a few meetings. I don’t know how Megatron reasoned with him being there, but there he was. I’m not sure if Megatron became afraid of Grimlock over time, or he was just becoming paranoid in general, but he began keeping some of our biggest and strongest members around him. Motormaster, Onslaught, Astrotrain, Octane, Soundwave, of course, and a few others. Well, one time, after my work cycle was over, I went down to a closed off area of one of the older mines under Kaon, where I had been stationed to remove old equipment that was no longer used. After I got most of the units in my charge up to the surface, there was a huge, empty area where the old drills and other things had been stored. When I got back down there, I heard commotion. I heard loud noises, bots shouting. On the way down, there were some of the bots I knew who were a part of the resistance, as Starscream had begun to call it, standing by each corner where the mine shafts and roads crossed. They all were big and they kept their optics on me. I’m not sure what they were doing, but they looked like guards. But they let me go, so I didn’t bother them. When I got down to the area of the noise, I saw what was going on: a bunch of bots, standing in a circle, shouting and cheering on 2 bots who were in the middle of the circle, having a fistfight. I mean, no holds barred, knock down drag out fighting. I couldn’t tell who the 2 were, but as I looked around, it seemed that everyone was into it and were egging them on. Everyone except Grimlock and Inferno, who stood off to the side, just watching quietly. Not far from them, I saw Megatron, sitting up on an old hauler that was left down there, flanked by Soundwave on one side and Starscream on the other. Both Megatron and Starscream were smiling at the fight going on. Soundwave wasn’t, but I’m sure if he didn’t have a faceplate, he would have been. Motormaster, Onslaught, Astrotrain and Octane stood in front of them, sort of as a wall of protection. Megatron and his lieutenants, I started calling them that, sat up high enough to see over their heads. Off to the opposite side of Grimlock I noticed that Shockwave was there as well. It seemed that Megatron was getting quite cozy with this member of the corrupt leadership above our heads, and I wondered if this whole thing had not been because of Shockwave’s moves. After all, it seemed there were no patrol drones, no other bots at all on the surface in Kaon when I went up with the last unit. I was

Oh, hey! Quake! It’s been a long time, definitely. Last I heard you were still inside. When did the Autobots let you out? This is your first night out? Really? Well, damn, have one on me, then! Is Brawl still inside? Yeah, I figured he would be. He did a lot more bad stuff than you did, haha! I mean, he definitely made more of that tank mode than you! Oh, Hey! I didn’t mean it like that, come on! Haha! Well, have a few on me then! For Primus’s sake, loosen up! You’re not in the slammer anymore! Damn!

What a moron. He wasn’t really much during the war, either. I mean, he made Brawl look intelligent. If you know Brawl, then you know that’s a dubious accomplishment, haha. I meant it, he didn’t do much with that tank mode he was given. He was mainly Bludgeon’s flunky in the later years. Anyway, back to my story. These 2 bots were smashing the scrap out of each other, seemingly all for Megatron’s amusement. Well, after a couple of breems, one of them won by gaining the upper hand and simply beating the other one into unconsciousness. He then simply stood up, with the defeated bot’s fluids still dripping from his fists, and just looked straight at Megatron. Megatron then stood up, stretched out his right arm, and gave the bot a thumb up. A lot of other bots in the circle cheered. The winning bot stepped to where Megatron was, and just turned back around toward the middle of the circle, as Megatron sat back down. From off to the side, 2 more bots I hadn’t noticed before, Razorclaw and Snaptrap, walked out to the middle and grabbed the unconscious bot’s body and just took him away. I never saw that bot again. Not at the mines, not at the meetings, nowhere. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Anyway, from then on, it seemed that we would have a couple of meetings, followed by one of these nights where fights were going on. And I say fights, because the first time was only one, but after that, every time this happened, there were 4 or 5 fights. Like they were being scheduled in advance. And every time, the winner would step to Megatron if he approved, which wasn’t always the case, and the loser was always taken away, never to be seen again. At first, I just thought this was done for amusement. Maybe some bots made bets on the side for some extra energon or something. After awhile it dawned on me, though: Megatron was culling us. He was eliminating the weaker ones. Soon, our numbers were smaller, but those that remained were the bigger and tougher of the bunch. Then one night, everything changed for me. I remember it clearly, even now. It happened in Tarn. Apparently, these fighting pits had been set up all over the mining towns, disguised as old mine shafts and storage areas. They were big enough, and were flat and enclosed. A perfect place to not be disturbed if you want to have a fair and even fight, where the fighters couldn’t depend on anything except their own abilities. I should mention, Megatron had 2 rules for the fights: no weapons and no transforming. Your fists, elbows, shoulders, feet, knees and legs as a whole were the only things you could use. Of course, some bots used their entire bodies, and that was not prohibited either. Anyway, this night I get there, and everyone is just standing in the circle, as usual. In the middle was another bot, I believe you know him, his name was Swindle. He would go on to become a Combaticon. I looked, and there was no one else with him. So I thought maybe the fight hadn’t started yet. Well, as it turned out I was right. The fight hadn’t started, because the other fighter hadn’t arrived. Until then. Before I could ask what was going on, Motormaster walked across the fighting pit, and stopped in front of me. The realization hit me at the same time he started to speak: ‘Your turn.’ Me? Yeah, I knew basic fighting moves, but I didn’t think I would be required to do it. In hindsight, I’m surprised it took them that long to get to me. But here I was, being pulled to the middle by Motormaster, who leaned down and said to me ‘Don’t let me down.’ as he stopped me in front of Swindle and then just walked back to his spot in front of Megatron’s throne. Heh, I started calling it Megatron’s throne, because he always sat up there in that seat like he was an emperor or something, looking down on his subjects. And, of course, that’s exactly what was going on. We just didn’t know it yet. These fights somehow became grounds for bots to prove themselves to him, to earn his approval. But why? He was a miner, just like us! Yeah, he was a little bigger and a lot stronger, but he had no rank, he had no higher standing. Why were we following him? To this day that’s a question I don’t have a clear answer for. Was it because he spoke up for us? Maybe he intimidated some bots? I mean, at the time it seemed he had the working bots’ interests at his spark, but now we know better, don’t we? Anyway, here I was, in the pit, with all the others around me, and they started cheering and chanting ‘fight! Fight! Fight!’ Swindle stood in front of me, his hands balled up in fists. He was my height, and pretty much my size, he was just a little bulkier in upper body. I wasn’t sure if we were gonna be given a signal or what, I never paid attention to the beginning of fights. Maybe I should have, heh.

Bartender! 2 more!

No, no. I’m fine. This is just regular Engex, not the strong stuff. Anyway, Swindle turns his head to look behind him, and Onslaught, who was standing next to Motormaster, just gives him a nod. I guessed that was the signal, because as Swindle turned back, he came swinging at me with a left cross. I wasn’t expecting a punch, but I did figure the fight was gonna start, so I was ready. I ducked, he missed, and I came up with a shoulder tackle, driving him back and making him lose his balance. He went right down on his skid plate, and everyone around us started laughing. I was a bit faster, and I knew I needed to use it to my advantage. As he got up, I met him with a few body shots, slamming my fists into his sides and back. I was trying to cause damage to his internal parts, while they were not defended, so that it would slow him down even more and that way I could maximize my advantage. Well, I was focused on smashing the scrap out of him, and didn’t see his elbow coming. He caught me on the side of the head, and I stumbled back. He turned to me to follow up with another punch, but I kept my backward momentum and took a few more steps back, and he missed again. This time, he lost his balance going forward, and as he went down, I smashed fist into the back of his head, driving him face first into the ground. As I said, there were only 2 rules to the fight, so there was nothing about being fair or courteous. So while he was down, I started kicking him. He started rolling on the ground, trying to cover his sides, and I just kept kicking. Pieces and sparks were flying everywhere, and he was grunting and spitting up fluid. Finally he ran out of room to roll on, as we came to the wall of the pit. Yeah, the pit under Tarn wasn’t like the one under Kaon. The one under Kaon was just flat, with a bunch of us standing around in a circle, and any time the fighters got to the edge of the circle, they were pushed back by the spectators. Under Tarn, the pit was dug into the ground, with the wall almost as tall as me. The bots who watched and cheered stood on top, and besides the fighters, there were 4 others standing by the wall in the pit, equal distances from each other. It was usually Razorclaw, Snaptrap, Astrotrain and Octane. Motormaster and Onslaught remained on top of the wall in front of Megatron’s spot. It seemed they became the de facto bodyguards. Of course, Starscream and Soundwave were always at their posts by Megatron’s sides. After a while, I stopped seeing Shockwave, but another senator had began showing up, the one they called Ratbat. And this one, even though technically he was a member of the ruling class, he loved the fights. I did see him speaking to Megatron and Soundwave a few times, so I figured he was either bought off or had some other stake in our movement. We all know how that turned out. Anyway, I had Swindle down and pretty much out, until I made a mistake. Instead of finishing him off right there by the wall, while he was practically defenseless, I stopped and looked up at the others cheering me. It took me a few seconds, but I realized they weren’t cheering me, they were cheering the violence. They would have been cheering just as much if it was Swindle beating me down. Which almost happened, because as I was looking up, Swindle recovered enough to smash a fist into my torso, and as I doubled over he drove an elbow into my forehead and pulled one of my legs out from under me at the same time. So I fell backwards, sparks in front of my optics. I rolled over got back to my feet, preparing myself for Swindle’s attack from behind me, but it never came. As I turned around, I saw that he was just getting to his feet, using the wall to prop himself up. I must have done more damage than I thought. I shook the sparks out of my face, and went toward him. Suddenly, he ran at me, and dove for my legs. It caught me by surprise, as I figured he would aim for my head or upper body, and the split second of hesitation was enough for him to wrap his arms around my legs and drive his shoulder into my midsection. I fell backward again, and this time he scrambled on top of me, and started punching me. He was a bit heavier than I was, so I was pinned down. I covered up my head and face with my arms, and he kept punching me everywhere, my arms, my chest, and my sides. The shots to the sides hurt, as they were unprotected. But I took it, and through the pain concentrated on my next move. Then as he was swinging at my arms covering my face again, I reached out with one arm, grabbing his, pulling him to the side, and with my other arm I shoved upward, pushing him off me. He tumbled to the side, and we both came up at the same time. He charged again, but I was faster, and I sidestepped him. As he went by, I swung my fist and caught him in the back of the head again. He went down again, eliciting another round of laughter in the midst of the cheering. As he tried to get up, I took a couple of steps for momentum, jumped up, and came down on his back with both my knees. I then straddled his back and pinned his arms down with my knees, and I started punching him in the sides and back of the head. He couldn’t defend himself and after a few more shots, he wasn’t even moving. I knocked him out. I stopped hitting him, and just shoved his back as I stood up. He didn’t respond. I stepped back from him and gave him a swift kick to the side. Still no answer. He was out. So I stopped, looked up at Megatron and waited. The cheering had stopped as everyone else waited as well. He had a half smile on his face, and as usual, he raised his right arm, and gave me the thumb up. The cheers erupted again, and I smiled and raised my fists in the air. Razorclaw and Snaptrap walked to where Swindle was, and each grabbed an arm and dragged him away. My optics went from Megatron down to Motormaster and Onslaught. It seemed Onslaught was handing the big M a handful of shanix. They had bet on the fight, and Motormaster won by betting on me. That’s what his ‘Don’t let me down’ comment was about, I realized. I took in the crowd’s adulation as I walked to the wall and jumped up, with a couple of spectators helping me out of the pit. I then turned around to see what was next. To my surprise, and probably everyone else’s as well, Megatron was standing in the pit. Apparently, as I exited, he simply stood up from his seat and jumped straight down, over Motormaster and Onslaught’s heads. He had just reached the center of the circle, and made a 360 degree turn to look at everyone.

Bartender! 2 more!

Ooooh, I think those will be my last 2, I’ve been pounding ‘em pretty good since I got here. But I’m gonna finish this story, it’s just getting good. So Megatron was standing there, and he spread his arms. ‘My fellow downtrodden laborers!’ he said. ‘Here we are, joined by a common cause!’ Cheers. ‘I greatly value the trust you have placed in my leadership!’ More cheers. ‘We are close to our moment of truth! And tonight, I will demonstrate why I am the one to lead us into the upcoming conflict for our equality!’ More cheers. I think a lot of us were ready to move on from the life of constant labor and even these fights. We were ready to take our voice to the surface. And I guess Megatron needed one more act of solidifying his leadership. So he did something I didn’t think he would, not at this stage of the movement. I had seen him fight a few times, and it was always brutal, the bots who dared to challenge him paid for it with their lives. Every time. So by now, Megatron rarely had fights, as there was no one dumb enough or brave enough to gamble with his life in a fight against Megatron. I guess that was one of the things that made him a leader in our eyes. But that night, I guess he felt like he had to show off one more time. He said ‘I challenge anyone within the sound of my voice!’ Everyone went quiet. We were all just looking around, at each other, at others. Then as I looked up, I caught a glimpse of Starscream. He had a dead set look on his face. His optics were so intense they went from their usual orange to bright red. His mouth was set in a thin line. As I looked at him, I could see it. He was seriously thinking about challenging Megatron. And Megatron might have noticed had he not been looking in the opposite direction. Perhaps that’s what saved Starscream that night, because just that look might have been enough for Megatron to consider it a challenge, and he would have called out Starscream right then and there. But he didn’t see it, and after a few moments, Starscream must have weighed all his options because he relaxed his body, and the expression on his face faded from an intense alarm to a sneering contempt. His optics went back to orange, and his mouth half smirked, half sneered. I could just see it: he was thinking, another time, when the conditions are more favorable. And of course, those more favorable conditions would come in Megatron’s weakest moments in the future. But I can’t really blame Starscream, as cunning as he was, Megatron would have killed him had he faced him straight up. So here we were, waiting for anyone to step up. Even Megatron just stood there, with his arms spread, looking around. He didn’t think anyone would challenge him at this point, and that would be the last galvanizing sign of his total control of this uprising. But then, out of nowhere, Grimlock jumped into the pit! I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t even see him before, didn’t even realize he was there! Then again, I was kinda busy. Anyway, as Grimlock’s feet hit the floor of the pit, everyone quieted down. Megatron heard the sound and turned around. His smirk immediately vanished from his face. He wasn’t scared, I don’t think, more surprised and a bit alarmed. You see, during all this time of fighting, Grimlock was the only other bot to never lose a fight. He didn’t finish his fights like Megatron did, his opponents always lived. But his fights also didn’t go as long as Megatron’s. It got to the point where Grimlock was fighting 2 bots at a time! Grimlock was bigger, and a lot of us thought even stronger than our self-anointed leader. And now was the time to find out. Megatron made the open challenge, and if he backed down now, he would lose all credibility. I don’t know why he didn’t expect this, he should have counted on someone challenging him. Or perhaps this was what he wanted. If he could beat Grimlock, perceived to be the biggest and baddest right along with Megatron, then he would be the undisputed leader, and no one would challenge him to a straight up fight again. Ever. Grimlock didn’t say anything, he just stood there. Megatron stepped up to him. ‘Is this what you really want?’ he asked. Dead silence from the crowd. Grimlock, raising his head slightly, looked Megatron in the optics, even though he was a bit taller. ‘It time.’ was all he said, in a calm and even voice, and that weird speech problem that he has. Megatron stood there for a moment, and then a slow smile spread on his face. ‘You know how my fights end!’ he said loudly and forcefully, making sure everyone understood that there could be only one outcome to this fight. After a moment, Grimlock’s bright yellow optics shaded somewhat, becoming almost as orange as Starscream’s. ‘Your rules.’ he said evenly, but also loudly so everyone could hear. ‘One stand, one fall.’ I couldn’t believe it. In fact, everyone was stunned. Grimlock pretty much just threatened Megatron’s life, and made it sound like Megatron brought it on himself by setting up this entire fight system and participating in it in his own way. Basically, Grimlock just told Megatron that he would be the cause of his own demise! All I could think of was that bot must have the biggest bearings on this planet! Megatron didn’t even respond. The smile slowly faded from his face, and he took a step back. At first, this looked like he was backing down, but then he just stood in a fighting stance, raised both fists up in front of him and simply said ‘Let’s get it on!’ and the crowd erupted in cheers. I didn’t make any noise, I just stood there, partly because I was still recovering from the beating I took in my fight, and partly because the realization was setting in that this was perhaps the biggest moment of this movement. If Megatron lost, he would lose leadership status, and if Grimlock became leader, everything would change. Grimlock was also against the caste system and upper classes of bots ruling the planet, but he wasn’t as openly supportive of a violent challenge to that system. I mean, he wasn’t that much different than Megatron, he was down here with us, beating other bots into oblivion just the same, but he didn’t kill them to win his fights. That was a line Grimlock was teetering on. It was a line Megatron had crossed long ago. That’s what was at stake here, the outcome of this fight would determine how our revolution moved forward.

Bartender! 2 more, and that’s it!

So anyway, Megatron was ready. He had expected to trade punches with Grimlock, as they were both the biggest and strongest in perhaps all of the fights, and it would make sense to square off in a test of strength, at least to start with. But instead, Grimlock surprised him as well as everyone else by stepping forward with one leg and raising the other leg up, kicking Megatron directly in the midsection. He did it so fast, that Megatron couldn’t react in time, even though he knew something was coming. But he was expecting fists, not feet. The impact drove Megatron back, and by the time he recovered, Grimlock had taken 2 more steps and was right in front of him. He swung, smashing his fist into Megatron’s face, driving him back even more. The crowd fell silent, not because they were all supporting Megatron, which most were, but because this was not what they expected. Grimlock went for another shot, but Megatron ducked and answered with a couple of body shots of his own, much like I did to Swindle. But even though Megatron’s punches were a lot stronger than mine, Grimlock was also a much bigger bot than Swindle. He took the hits and moved forward, ramming his shoulder into Megatron’s chest, pinning him against the wall of the pit. They were to my left side, and I had to lean in over the pit to see what was going on. I almost lost my balance and fell in! Haha! Anyway, Grimlock swung at Megatron’s head, but he moved it and Grimlock smashed his fist into the wall. It mage a huge dent, but at the same time hurt Grimlock as well, as he grabbed his fist with his other hand and stepped back. This was enough room for Megatron to wind up his own swing, and he smashed into Grimlock’s face. Now the fight was going as everyone expected. Nothing fancy, just 2 heavyweights smashing the scrap out of each other! Everyone was on his feet, even Megatron’s cronies Starscream and Soundwave. Grimlock staggered back, and Megatron followed up with another punch to the face. This spun Grimlock around, and Megatron kicked him in the back. The big Grim stumbled forward but didn’t go down. Megatron then took 3 running steps and held his arm out to the side in a straight and rigid line, and smashed it into the back of Grimlock’s head, finally knocking him down. His momentum carried him to Grimlock’s other side, and as he was trying to get back up, Megatron was now in front of him. Megatron swung his leg and kicked Grimlock in the chest, driving him back on his knees. Grimlock stayed upright, but he was clearly stunned. Megatron then kicked him again, this time with the flat bottom of his foot going directly into Grimlock’s face. I could clearly see sparks and pieces of Grimlock’s face go flying. He leaned back onto his legs, but stayed up. As he tried to get back up to get on his feet, Megatron grabbed his head and smashed a knee into his face. Finally this knocked Grimlock off his knees and onto his back. Megatron, perhaps remembering my fight, started kicking Grimlock much like I had kicked Swindle. Except Grimlock didn’t try to roll away, he just took the kicks to his side and shoulder, covering his head with one massive arm as he was pushing himself up with the other. Megatron must have gotten a bit overconfident, because he started just kicking Grimlock all over, without any rhyme or reason. Well, that was a mistake, because Grimlock could take a massive amount of punishment, and while his body took the shots, his head cleared up and he regained his bearings. As Megatron went for one more kick, Grimlock grabbed his leg, but instead of just tripping him up, he stood up with Megatron’s leg trapped between his arm and his body, causing him to lose his balance on the other leg. As Megatron tried to stay upright, Grimlock yanked his leg in toward himself and using his free arm smashed Megatron in the face with his elbow. Megatron went down, but Grimlock didn’t let go of his leg. Instead, he dragged Megatron closer, and stomped on his torso, causing Megatron to curl up. This fight was getting serious, as we all knew it would. They were both big and strong bots, and who knew when this would be over. All we knew that it wasn’t going to be a short fight, unless one of them got a lucky crippling shot it early. Grimlock still had Megatron’s leg with both hands, and he simply twisted it, and we all heard Megatron’s knee crunch even over the crowd noise, which wasn’t nearly as loud as before. Everyone was simply riveted by this fight.

Bartender! My tab!

Anyway, we could see bits and parts of Megatron’s leg sticking through his leg plating, and we knew this was a serious hit. But as Grimlock went to twist the leg the other way, perhaps to completely rip it off, Megatron kicked up with his good leg, and caught Grimlock in the chest. He lost his footing for a moment, and let go of Megatron’s bad leg. As he turned back to resume his attack, Megatron rolled, and using his good leg got up again. Grimlock came straight at him, and tackled him, wrapping his arms around Megatron’s arms and upper body, his momentum carrying them to the pit wall. Megatron struggled, but Grimlock kept his grasp on him, and as he took a step back, he simply heaved Megatron up in the air, and threw him straight up over his head as he fell backward! Megatron went flying in the air, flipping over, and crashed down on his back. Grimlock also fell down, but he got right back up and went for Megatron again. Megatron was dazed by the impact, and his knee was spitting out sparks and leaking fluid all over his leg. He tried to struggle to his feet, but Grimlock was right behind him with a kick to the back. It drove Megatron forward onto his chest and face, and he had to brace himself with his arms. Grimlock kept up his momentum, and with his next step stomped on Megatron’s back. As he lifted his foot again to stomp on Megatron’s head, perhaps ending the fight, Megatron rolled out of the way and Grimlock missed. As he brought his foot down, Megatron grabbed his leg and pulled, tripping him up. As Grimlock fell, Megatron rolled again, and was on his feet in a blink. I was staring in disbelief, I didn’t think he had enough left in him to move like that. He was limping badly, he could barely put any weight on his bad leg, but nonetheless he was stepping toward Grimlock, who was getting back up as well. Megatron swung, but Grimlock blocked it. Then Grimlock swung, and Megatron ducked. Grimlock’s momentum turned his body, and Megatron literally jumped on his back using his good leg, and wrapped his arms around Grimlock’s head. Grimlock’s forward momentum, combined with Megatron’s weight, drove him down onto the ground, and as he fell, Megatron drove his good knee into his back for good measure. They were on the other side of the pit from me, but I could hear Grimlock’s loud grunt all the way from there. That must have hurt. Megatron used his good knee and his weight to pin Grimlock’s upper body down as he pulled on Grimlock’s head with both arms. He was trying to rip Grimlock’s head clean off! It almost worked, as I saw sparks fly from Grimlock’s neck, but at the last moment Grimlock pushed himself up with his arm just enough to get one leg under him, and using that leg he kicked himself sideways, rolling on his back, pinning Megatron underneath him. To Megatron’s credit, he didn’t let go of Grimlock’s head, but he lost his leverage as Grimlock closed the space between them and Megatron couldn’t extend his arms for full force. Grimlock then reached up with both hands, grabbed both of Megatron’s arms at the wrists, and in a true show of superior strength, forced Megatron’s arms off his head and spread them open. He then tilted his head forward and suddenly snapped it back, smashing the back of his head into Megatron’s face. This seemed to knock Megatron silly and drive the fight out of him, because even from my vantage point I could see his body go limp. Grimlock then let go of Megatron’s arms and rolled off him, standing up. Megatron, shaking his head as fluids were leaking from his smashed nose and faceplate, tried to get up but all he could manage was to roll onto his side. Grimlock gave him a swift kick between the shoulders, and Megatron rolled onto his back. His leg was gone, just kinds swinging limply, he could barely lift his arms, as that last kick messed up his upper motor functions, and he couldn’t even see out of one optic, as the leaking fluid from his nose covered half his face. He tried lifting his arms to protect himself from the next wave of Grimlock’s assault, but all he managed was a feeble flop of one arm onto his chest. He was finished. Grimlock stood over him, looking down. And then

Hey, thanks. Here, keep the change.

Then, before Grimlock could finish him off, Motormaster, Onslaught, Astrotrain, Octane, Razorclaw and Snaptrap all ran up to them, and stood between Grimlock and Megatron in a half circle. The crowd went silent. Half of them waited to see what Grimlock would do, the other half was stunned in disbelief that it would end this way. We all wanted a clear winner. Megatron himself said his fights ended only one way. Apparently, that was the case only when he was winning. Why did the others step in? I’m not entirely sure, but my guess was that they knew what I knew, that if Grimlock was victorious here and now, this movement would take a drastic turn. And let’s face it, most of us were here because we wanted our revolution to happen only one way: violently. And without Megatron to lead us, that was highly unlikely. Every one of us knew that if Grimlock finished Megatron here and now, no one, and I mean no one could or would challenge him in the future. So they stepped in. I saw the momentary hesitation on Grimlock’s face. He was trying to decide whether he should tear into the 6 bots standing in front of him or not. He had every right, by the rules that Megatron made clear at the beginning, but at the same time Grimlock was also tired from the fight. If he took those 6 bots on, they would be justified in fighting back, and even Grimlock couldn’t overcome those odds. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure why they didn’t just attack him and overwhelm him. Maybe because they knew he would take at least 2 or 3 of them with him, and none of them wanted to be those 2 or 3, hehe. Anyway, as they stood there in a stalemate, Soundwave jumped down into the pit as well and rushed to Megatron’s aid. This movement seemed to snap Grimlock out of it, and he seemed to relax his tense body just a bit. The other 6 bots didn’t move, and as Soundwave helped a clearly beaten Megatron to his feet, Inferno jumped down from the crowd and stepped up next to Grimlock. Now it was 6 against 2, but those 2 were notorious for their temper and fighting skills, and the fight became a lot more even. So the stalemate stayed, until Inferno put a hand on Grimlock’s chest and turned to him. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I would guess it was to tell him that the fight was over, and Grimlock should take the respect and admiration he earned here today. From here on, this fight could only be a suicide mission. Grimlock seemed to process this, and took a step back as he turned around. Inferno kept his optics on the 6 in front of him, as Soundwave half propped up and half dragged Megatron to the other side of the pit. The crowd stayed pretty silent, but some of them started a low murmur. Obviously the fight was over, and obviously Grimlock won. But did Megatron really lose? I mean, as you know by now, he stayed our leader, and our movement went on to be a violent revolution on its way to becoming all out war. Grimlock climbed out fo the pit, followed by Inferno. The other 6 boths didn’t do anything, they just stood there, in case either of them changed their minds. Even though they were in there, Megatron was still very vulnerable. All it would have taken was one lucky shot. That’s how close the Decepticons came to never existing. But it ended with Grimlock and Inferno walking out, never returning. Grimlock didn’t immediately go to the Autobots, as he was still on his own when the war broke out, but a subsequent betrayal by Starscream would push him to join their side. Speaking of that flying bucket of useless parts, he was the only one who remained neutral in that confrontation. He didn’t help Megatron, but he didn’t step in next to Grimlock, either. He just stood up there, with that same intense look he had when Megatron threw down the challenge earlier. But this time, perhaps as a foreshadowing of things to come. He stood on the platform that Megatron used as his throne, seeming to claim it for himself. Anyway, Soundwave and a few others helped Megatron out of the pit, and that was the end of the pit fights. Soon after, Megatron stated his case to the Council of Elders, and you know how that went. He was denied the title of Prime, and he declared open war. The rest is history. Violent and devastating history. Alright, I think it’s time I went back to my hab suite, I have a long cycle ahead of me. Thanks for staying and listening, I know I probably talked too much. But this was the only way this story could be told, because as far as the Decepticon revolution is concerned, it was perhaps the most pivotal moment in its creation, and it’s something only those of us who were there know about. I doubt either Megatron or Grimlock spoke of it to anyone, and I never heard any other Decepticon mention it either.

Excuse me.

But now you know how close this whole thing came to never happening. Who knows where we would be now if Grimlock was actually placed as our leader way back then? I know he had no love for the Council or the Prime, whoever it was at the time, and I know he had no regard for Optimus, who was chosen instead of Megatron soon after the fight. Well, you take care of yourself, and I’m sure I’ll see you back here soon enough. Later.
Rodimus Prime
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Transformers Podcast: Twincast / Podcast #193 - Eulogy
Twincast / Podcast #193:
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Posted: Monday, January 29th, 2018
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