The Energon Pub

Sat Jul 23, 2011 8:16 pm

I'm not sure where to put this so feel free to move.
I went back to planning going to the TF con* and the response from my mom has basically been that I'm mentally ill for continuing this hobby. Usually they don't say much about my hobby, except the obvious issues when it comes to spending money on it.
Then they get upset.
I'm not even that active in this hobby. Buying some toys every couple of years. I can't even find my TF shirt right now.

I know this hobby can be difficult to understand to outside society. But calling it a mental illness to enjoy cartoons and having a relatively small toy collection is pushing it. I am just glad that despite being more self conscious then some others of you about my hobby, I no longer will be feeling ashamed around my family and stand up for myself. Do they not understand that this is just alienating them more from my life by rejecting a part of me in such a hurtful way?.

I understand the money concerns of me having any hobbies at all due to that my income( which I have hardy any due to not working right now) qualifies me for food stamps and unemployment. So I'm not upset at all when they discuss the money issues at all. I just wish they'd keep the discussion there.

* I'm on the fence about going to this con as it's expensive and challenging, but I'm making an attempt. I have decided if I can find a cheaper way to stay there such as sharing a room, I will go.

( I can't edit the title ...Bad me fast typing.

Sat Jul 23, 2011 10:59 pm

My mom has no problems with my hobby and I know how to control it. Not sure which TF con you are talking about. But if you don't really have any money for it, maybe you should just wait till the next one. Like the real TF convention, Botcon.

Sat Jul 23, 2011 11:12 pm

Botcon is too far away and plane tickets cost even more. I'm not sure I'll ever make it to another one of those.

Sun Jul 24, 2011 8:25 am

I've never been criticised from my family for collecting TFs (aside from some friendly teasing by my brother and parents - but then my brother is 29 and still living with Mom and Dad, so I have ample ammo for return fire

) but I did used to get some flak from my Grandmother when I was into Warhammer 40K back, oh, 12+ years ago. She couldn't understand why I was so into that hobby, when I should be playing sports/dating girls/not playing with toys.

I guess it just boiled down to a generational gap, really. My parents tried to make her realize that it wasn't that big a deal, but some people just have skewed views of the more "sci-fi/fantasy" related hobbies, or collecting-based hobbies, and I don't know if you'll ever be able to change their minds. However, what you should try and make them understand is that it's important to you, and unless it's ruining some other aspect of your life they have no right to call it a mental illness. That's crossing a line that they have to right to.

The only thing I can think of that might help is if you show them your collection, explain to them how often you buy figures and why, and then show them some pictures of the much larger collections of people on this site. Perhaps if they see that there are nearly 50,000 users of this site, probably the majority of which collect at least some toys, and that your collection is quite smaller that 'most', they'll have a better understanding of how widespread the hobby is, and how far from a mental illness it is. Also, (and I mean this jokingly) throwing in the pics of people with larger collections will make them look more crazy that you!

Good luck - I hope you can bring them around - or at least if they never understand it, that they accept that it's important to you and not harmful - despite my Grandmother's fears that Warhammer would turn me into a basement-dweller, I play rugby, run marathons, got married and am starting a family - so in the long run, all of her fears were disproved. Never let them make you feel so ashamed that you give up something that you love!

Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:38 am

I have to say this. Too many ppl in this world think and believe inside the box. And when these ppl see others who think outside it, view them to not be right. I say if you're happy, then let it be. The ppl who think outside the box are more creative and what not. I know when I went to art school all the students and even some teachers, thought outside the box. Who says the 'normal' ppl aren't right? Why are we the ones who have to get label 'worng' just cause we're different? I could go on, but I won't.

Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:31 am

OF all the weird things, today my mom tried to give my Seaspray figure as a gift to my cousin's 1 yrs daughter who is currently visiting.
When I mentioned it, I was told that newer generations are coming and I'm not a child anymore.
I mean it's not like this is even a good gift for a 1 yr, she can hardly do a simple puzzle.

News Credits: 1 · Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:41 am

I never have comflists w/ family or friends or anyone really. However, what I did have was parents who thought I was too old for Transformers while in my teenage years. Now I'm 40 yrs old and I live on my own. Well, I have 2 roommates who are brothers but that's beside the point. Whether other people think I'm too old for them or not I still buy them from a collector's point of view. These are not toys to me. I mess around w/ them, tranform them, take pics, I even helped a kid learn how to transform one of them just earlier today. I think people in your life will eventually getting around to accepting the fact that you have a hobby and ignore that it involves "toys".

News Credits: 12 · Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:47 am

Eclipsica wrote:OF all the weird things, today my mom tried to give my Seaspray figure as a gift to my cousin's 1 yrs daughter who is currently visiting.
When I mentioned it, I was told that newer generations are coming and I'm not a child anymore.
I mean it's not like this is even a good gift for a 1 yr, she can hardly do a simple puzzle.

That's not okay. Your mother needs to understand she can't give away your stuff.

Show her pictures of the collections of others on this site. Many of us are 21 and up.

Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:08 pm

Eclipsica wrote:OF all the weird things, today my mom tried to give my Seaspray figure as a gift to my cousin's 1 yrs daughter who is currently visiting.
When I mentioned it, I was told that newer generations are coming and I'm not a child anymore.
I mean it's not like this is even a good gift for a 1 yr, she can hardly do a simple puzzle.

While my parents aren't like that AT ALL, thank god, I do know the type. You've got one of those, "my way or the highway, I know everything, so you better listen to me" overbearing, hard to get along with mothers.

Here's what you do the next time she tries to give away YOUR STUFF, which she has no right to even touch:

Lift your hand up to eye-level.
Make a fist.
Extend swear finger into "F**k You!" position.
That is all.

Thu Jul 28, 2011 8:04 pm

Here's what you do the next time she tries to give away YOUR STUFF, which she has no right to even touch:

Lift your hand up to eye-level.
Make a fist.
Extend swear finger into "F**k You!" position.

"and then proceed to be slapped and have all your stuff taken away and depending on your age thrown out"
look in all honesty i dont give a crap what others think of my collecting and at this point ive got a few hundred. but being that you are unemployed and have little money it would be better if you show them you do have priorities and use what money you do have to contribute. get a few groceries,pay a bill, something that says look mom, dad i can collect action figures and help out its not all or nothing. having said that dont go to a convention this year find work and then go on vacation with a wad of cash next year.
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News Credits: 1 · Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:46 am

It's not a very common pass-time. That's all.

If anyone tries to put you down about your hobby, simply ask them about theirs. Then ask them what the hell it's good for. Usually you'll get a useless explaination.

One guy pnce tried to laugh at me for collecting toys. He asked me what the use of my collection is. I asked him what he did for fun. He climbes mountains. The next mountain from here is 500+ kilometers to the east. Very usefull hobby.

Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:51 am

Here is the best advice I can give you and I hope it helps:

It would be best to box your stuff up and only have a few handy if you do enjoy playing around with them and tell your mom you have the remaining out for art and childhood memories. Your home life doesn't sound healthy and neither does your family situation. Just get to school and work, once you have success you can get out on your own and with much higher finances you can catch up with what you missed and buy those masterpiece figures.

As for me I had a horrid childhood with no money. The only time I saw my dad he would give me a transformer. So now I'm an adult who spends a few thousand a year on transformers, potato heads and Exo squad.

I am married with a good career. After a year or so of marriage my wife went off about my spending money on toys and that it was a waste of money and abnormal. We both make good money and in our budget we each get a certain amount to spend on ourselves. I chose transformers, she spends more on clothes, etc. She also drives a very nice car. I have a used POS, because I don't care about cars unless the become robots.

So I told her I would be like my friends and took her to a car dealership and showed her the 75k car I was going to buy. I gave her the option of taking a nice vacation and me continuing my hobby.

I did stop collecting transformers for sometime due to my finishing my potato head collection, which is far stranger. I'm now kid in the candy storing it with all that is out there and she hears about it and helps me find deals.

Just move forward with your life first and then your hobby and you will do just fine.

Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:53 pm

I can definitely sympathize. When my moher realized that the "Transformers Thing" her figure-skating, nail-painting, teenaged daughter was doing was not a phase but a serious interest, she was not at all pleased. It took time, but she eventually learned to live with it, and quite recently sat very patiently while I ranted and ravved about what had transpired at TFCon. She has also started pointing at every tractor-trailer we see while driving and saying "Look! It's your Optimus-Man!". It took time, and it was frustrating, but she, my friends, and the rest of my family came around, and just accepted it.

This, of course, was my situation. Things may be different with your family. Be patient, try to see things from your family's point of view, and understand that it's not always easy for people to grasp what value you see in this kind of hobby.

Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:23 pm

Just tell her that you're old enough to think for yourself and choose your own path in life. And if she keeps bothering you, try having a nice, long patient talk about why this isn't a "mental illness", and show her some of the INSANE collections on this site, that should open her eyes.

And if it doesn't, god help you. >:oP

Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:00 am

This is going to be harsh, but...
They'll respect you when you cease showing how much their opinions mean to you. If you feel bad about spending their money on your toys/collectibles/action figures, there's a reason you do. When you earn what is yours, their opinions loose their value to you. You become a man/woman, standing on your own two feet, loving what you love, earning what you keep, on your own path towards a destination you define. Hardly anything in this life is free, but one thing you have for a fact is a community of enthusiasts, professionals, artistic collaborators, and entertainers that share the same passion as you - I am one of those people (and we don't care how small or large of a group we are in the grand scheme of things because we exist on YouTube, on radio waves, in computer labs, in sculpting studios, in toy aisles, and in written message - ALL. OVER. THE. WORLD.). The toys will always be there. They will be stored and kept mint for you when you find your financial way.

My advice is to focus on what you would do if money weren't the motivating factor. If you were a millionaire, what do you love to do? There are several careers for that interest I guarantee you. Find that core. Google the interest. Sink yourself into it. Create a checklist to get there. Knock out each element one day at a time. Before you know it, you're living for a living... And we'll end up meeting you at Botcon 2016. Until then, "Stay thirsty, my friend!"