The Energon Pub

[Halo]

So, after a buch of the locals in the old building thread decided that the Starbase had gotten too old and stale, we decided to blow it up and let it float away. And chose an Office as the best new building.

SO, new building thread, new fun times. New fun people. Have fun.

[Senor Hugo]

Casually walks into a Janitor's closet, closes the door. Emerges a couple seconds later with a saw-horse with a sign saying "Under Construction do not enter."

"I call dibs on this area"

A train of midgets wearing plaid-shirts and construction hats enter the closet, the door closes behind them and much sawing, hammering, drilling, and random animal noises can be heard from within.

Sits outside the door sipping a nice cool lemonade.

[Halo]

I am both terrified and intreagued on what's going on in there.

[Senor Hugo]

"Oh, it's a lot less interesting in there than what you may think."


One of the midget construction crew members emerges from the janitorial closet and whispers something in my ear.

"Seriously? Again?!"

The midget nods

"Well take him to the hospital, I don't need another lawsuit on my hands"

The midget nods again and scurries into the closet moments later to emerge along with another worker carrying a third worker on a stretcher, nails from a nail gun littering the workers body.

I sigh then head into the closet myself shutting the door behind me. My voice carrying out from behind the door, other muffled voices following.

"Look, I told you, don't let the goat use the nail gun."

"No, I don't care if he's more qualified to use the nail gun than you are. You saw what he did to lil'Steve, thats why you don't let him use the nail gun."

"and you, I thought I told you to work on the electrical wiring"

-goat noise-

"yes, I know you're sorry, but that doesn't change the fact that you shot him with the nail gun repeatedly"

-goat noise-

"It doesn't matter if he used your lunch for cleaning paint brushes. I told you that you should eat healthier items than a tin can."

-goat noise-

"Look, I don't want to be the bad guy, so just stay away from the nail gun, and work on the wiring in here."

-goat noise-

"and as for everyone else, work harder. I want this place finished up by dawn on the sixth day."

Reemerges from the room and takes my seat again.

"Yeah, it really isn't that interesting in there."

[Psycho Warrior]

*sets up his office in one of the bathroom stalls*

I got it just how I like it, I just need a witch doctor to wave a dead cat around until the sun goes black... or until I'm thrown out by that large woman who needs the use of my desk...

[The Happy Locust]

Luckily for me, Locusts have very large families. WORKIN' TIME!

*From out of nowhere, 1023 mini-Locusts all wearing oversized squeaky shoes and weilding various construction tools all march out.*

mini-Locusts: HI-HO! HI-HO!

Yes, we all know there's a hooker on the top floor. We can visit her later. NOW GET TO WORK!

[Psycho Warrior]

Luckily for me, Locusts have very large families. WORKIN' TIME!

*From out of nowhere, 1023 mini-Locusts all wearing oversized squeaky shoes and weilding various construction tools all march out.*

mini-Locusts: HI-HO! HI-HO!

Yes, we all know there's a hooker on the top floor. We can visit her later. NOW GET TO WORK!

that's amazing... that you found shoes for them all.

but what are you paying them?

[The Happy Locust]

Luckily for me, Locusts have very large families. WORKIN' TIME!

*From out of nowhere, 1023 mini-Locusts all wearing oversized squeaky shoes and weilding various construction tools all march out.*

mini-Locusts: HI-HO! HI-HO!

Yes, we all know there's a hooker on the top floor. We can visit her later. NOW GET TO WORK!

that's amazing... that you found shoes for them all.

but what are you paying them?

See previous post.

[Shadowman]

*Opens up a new office*

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man know that other people have money, and that you want that money, but, above all else, we want that money. That is why we will sue for you, regardless of whether or not the other person has done anything, or if anything has actually happened to you. I'm just saying, and fake cast and some schmaltzy acting goes a long way.

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man do not really have law licenses. Instead, we simply roll into court, and begin rambling about the case at hand, or maybe not about the case at hand, if it so suits us. You get robbed? We may talk about that, or maybe the episode of Heroes we just watched, and how Sylar is clearly responsible for this.

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man do not understand the meaning of the word frivolous. We also don't understand the words superfluous, fluoridize, or clam chowder. Were you in a minor fender bender? $5 million lawsuit! Burn yourself on a McDonald's french fry? $10 million! Kid didn't get on the school football team? Heh, we'll need the Supreme Court for that one.

So call us, the Law Offices of Shadow & Man! Other offices say "no you can't!" We say "Yes we can, we can't hear you, lalalalala!"

[The Happy Locust]

*Opens up a new office*

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man know that other people have money, and that you want that money, but, above all else, we want that money. That is why we will sue for you, regardless of whether or not the other person has done anything, or if anything has actually happened to you. I'm just saying, and fake cast and some schmaltzy acting goes a long way.

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man do not really have law licenses. Instead, we simply roll into court, and begin rambling about the case at hand, or maybe not about the case at hand, if it so suits us. You get robbed? We may talk about that, or maybe the episode of Heroes we just watched, and how Sylar is clearly responsible for this.

We here at the Law Offices of Shadow & Man do not understand the meaning of the word frivolous. We also don't understand the words superfluous, fluoridize, or clam chowder. Were you in a minor fender bender? $5 million lawsuit! Burn yourself on a McDonald's french fry? $10 million! Kid didn't get on the school football team? Heh, we'll need the Supreme Court for that one.

So call us, the Law Offices of Shadow & Man! Other offices say "no you can't!" We say "Yes we can, we can't hear you, lalalalala!"

*the 1023 mini-locusts suddenly drop their tools and swarm into Shadowman's office*



this isn't good. Last time this happened I was slapped with 1025 paternity suits.

[Shadowman]

*the 1023 mini-locusts suddenly drop their tools and swarm into Shadowman's office*



this isn't good. Last time this happened I was slapped with 1025 paternity suits.

Yeah...wait, 1025 lawsuits and only 1023 mini-locusts?

We can do that, though. The Law Offices of Shadow & Man only recognizes Double Jeopardy as a fun game show.

[The Happy Locust]

*the 1023 mini-locusts suddenly drop their tools and swarm into Shadowman's office*



this isn't good. Last time this happened I was slapped with 1025 paternity suits.

Yeah...wait, 1025 lawsuits and only 1023 mini-locusts?

We can do that, though. The Law Offices of Shadow & Man only recognizes Double Jeopardy as a fun game show.

They represented my ex-wives... all 1019 of them. Yes, none of the numbers match up, but that only shows you how good the law offices of Shadow, Man, & Locust used to be. Yep, I got sued by my own firm and had to pay out of my own stock shares.

[Exdominus]

* takes over the whole basement of the buliding and starts distrubing earpods to everyone so they can stay in contatct*

Now what to do with the space oh yes first lets call in some friends *Pulls out pods that look like dino eggs and activastes which hatch to reveal miniture trex transformers(beastie era) and they transform*

"Sine Cosine Tangent Cosecant secant ATTENTION"

*all dinobots salute*

Get to blocking off access

[Shadowman]

*the 1023 mini-locusts suddenly drop their tools and swarm into Shadowman's office*



this isn't good. Last time this happened I was slapped with 1025 paternity suits.

Yeah...wait, 1025 lawsuits and only 1023 mini-locusts?

We can do that, though. The Law Offices of Shadow & Man only recognizes Double Jeopardy as a fun game show.

They represented my ex-wives... all 1019 of them. Yes, none of the numbers match up, but that only shows you how good the law offices of Shadow, Man, & Locust used to be. Yep, I got sued by my own firm and had to pay out of my own stock shares.

We put a ping-pong table in what used to be your office! We use your dignity as ping-pong balls.

(Which reminds me of a funny story where a friend of mine handed me a garbage bag and said "here, you can put your dignity in this!" which is really the whole story)

By the way, you still owe us $89,090,874,930.69, your pants, an extra large jar of mayonnaise, the Orb of Ab'Yogsolam, your soul, and a bowl full of 1000 orange M&Ms.

We may not be real lawyers, but we are very good not real lawyers.

[Exdominus]

**** I forgot a dino egg guess cotangent did not want to hatch guess I will have to fix that *throws the egg at a wall* what appears is a beasties Petradectyl tf called Sigma(My version laserbeak*


Ahh Sigma you have awakened finally Sigma

SQWACK

Good go site ythe buliding and tell those idiot brethern of your don't block the main staircase just the elevator shafts

*Sigma flys off dumping **** on each of the dinobots heads as it sqwacks ordersa at them*

By the time Sigma arrived most the staircase was bricked over

*I walk in* stupid dinobots *Blasts the stair case back open with my right hand cannon(Dragon TM 2 megs form)

God idiot dinobots *shakes his head* time to set up my cloning lab

But first heads up stairs to steal some of locusts as well as shadowmans dna

[Psycho Warrior]

*several screams are heard as PW leaves his office int he ladies room*

Locust,Jadow, for some reason I was just slapped with a lawsuit by what looked like three mini locusts standing on top of each other wearing a dress. Care to explain how this will impact my penniless operations?

[Exdominus]

*walks up next to PW and hands him a Junkion Brew and sees if it will raddle his memory of who I once was all those bulid threads ago*

In the meantime

Sine and Cosecant escape the basement and run into some locust clones and capture them a Mayonassie jars and take them back down stairs to the LAB

[Shadowman]

*Opens up a new office*

Welcome to the ShadowMedia Megacorporation. We are dedicated to bringing you fair, balanced, perfectly equal, but also severely biased news and stuff, around the clock, whether you want it or not.

We're so dedicated to bringing you the news, we black-mailed several NASA scientists, to knock the CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News satellites out of the sky, so you have no place else to get the news! We also beat up Sean Hannity. We didn't have a reason, we just felt like doing it.

We're dedicated to revealing how the news is controlled by liberals, while ignoring that we are, as of the last paragraph, the only news source, anywhere, ever. Did you know Liberals are terrorists who want you to abort all your babies and get gay married? Yeah, think about that.

Also, we have hired a massive number of paparazzi to stalk celebrities, insult them, and possibly even throw things at them. Then we'll spend two hours making fun of the celebrities when they get angry!

So call your cable provider, and tune into every channel to watch us! And we will know if you don't!

[Exdominus]

*walks into shadowmans news agency office *

a)I have a proposition for use shadoowman either you let me broadcast disection fo celeberity and idioctic politions on your news agency

b)I steal your dna clone you kill you and replace you with my own puppet

those are your choices

[Shadowman]

*walks into shadowmans news agency office *

a)I have a proposition for use shadoowman either you let me broadcast disection fo celeberity and idioctic politions on your news agency

b)I steal your dna clone you kill you and replace you with my own puppet

those are your choices

The best way to start a totalitarian regime: control the media.

The best way to supplement that: Equip the satellites with lasers.

*Space laser deep fries Rex Necros*

[Exdominus]

*walks into shadowmans news agency office *

a)I have a proposition for use shadoowman either you let me broadcast disection fo celeberity and idioctic politions on your news agency

b)I steal your dna clone you kill you and replace you with my own puppet

those are your choices

The best way to start a totalitarian regime: control the media.

The best way to supplement that: Equip the satellites with lasers.

*Space laser deep fries Rex Necros*

*bats away the laser then destorys shadowmans control equipment*

Now to take over and make this my own *aims his ion cannon at shadowmans satellite net work cripling it*

[Shadowman]

The best way to start a totalitarian regime: control the media.

The best way to supplement that: Equip the satellites with lasers.

*Space laser deep fries Rex Necros*

*bats away the laser then destorys shadowmans control equipment*

Now to take over and make this my own *aims his ion cannon at shadowmans satellite net work cripling it*

You can't bat away an orbital laser barrage any more than you can bat away a headache! You're dead! Or at least, partially dead. Or undead?

And that thing with the Ion Cannon? Coma dream.

[Exdominus]

The best way to start a totalitarian regime: control the media.

The best way to supplement that: Equip the satellites with lasers.

*Space laser deep fries Rex Necros*

*bats away the laser then destorys shadowmans control equipment*

Now to take over and make this my own *aims his ion cannon at shadowmans satellite net work cripling it*

You can't bat away an orbital laser barrage any more than you can bat away a headache! You're dead! Or at least, partially dead. Or undead?

And that thing with the Ion Cannon? Coma dream.

Yes it was a coma dream you blasted me thru the floor all the way to the basement where my lab is!

Time to have my revenge

*attaches to his control harness* (thinK BM megs before he turned into the giant head thingy)

*Thousands of Petradactyal Like Vehicons deploy to space to attack Shadowmans satelite network*

[Shadowman]

And I'll sue you through the Law Offices of Shadow & Man! Because I don't have enough solid gold toilets.

Assistant: But...all the toilets we ordered were bronze.

*Beats his assistant with a shoe.*

[Exdominus]

Now to set up my own Network for the planet

*has Petracons Bring up the main control satelite and actives it's defensive mechanisms*

*starts passing out ear pods to down load the information directly to your brain*

Necronet is now online