The Energon Pub

Well, it's out. Happy? Yes. We finally learn the next step in the Most Excellent Adventure of Gordon Freeman. We finally get to make physics our bitch with Aperture Science. And we get to fight a war with what can only be described as Pixar's Worst Nightmare.

I would absolutely LOVE to be downloading Portal right now. But apparently, Steam is having it's ass kicked, and the servers are jam-packed with people trying to get their hands on some of the years most anticipated games.

Too much kickass for the Valve servers to handle, I think.

SPOILER WARNING


I just finished playing the Orange Box, and wow! Like really wow! I've never been felt so connected to a game like this since Zelda on the N64.

When I played Half-Life 2 on the XBox 1, I was like,"OK, physics based puzzles...gravity gun...a post-apocalyptic alien/zombie shooter". Great, but not fantastic.

Then I get to play Episode 1. And it was kind of more of the same, but it was more fresh. Mixing old, easy puzzles with new. I thought having to play with Alyx during the whole game would be lame, but it was actually quite fun. She wasn't totally useless, and she doesn't die. So she was more of a help than a burdan, but she did get in the way some times.

Then I play Episode 2 and holy ****! One of the first things that happens is Alyx gets gored by one of those Hunters. I thought she was dead. Those guys at Valve are sneaky. They make you play an entire game with her and then they kill her. They really know how to cut you. So then you play half the game trying to save her and the other half trying to get to white forest. They seemed to have refined the gameplay without making feel stale or too repetative. And this game was actually fun.

While I like to play shooters more than anything else, I don't find them fun. It's hard to explain. Take a game like Halo 3. By itself, it's a great game. But when you are forced to play with people, it sucks. They're either too aggressive, or have not intellegence, or can't play as a team, or are just plain douche bags. Plus you always feel like your competing. Like it's a sport and you always have to give it your all or else you'll be left behind. Games are supposed to be fun. That's not fun to me.

But wasn't fun was the ending. We're about to board the chopper when one of those big maggot things attacks us and kills Eli. All the while I was thinking, "No, something will happen and save us. DOG had run off just before this. And he never runs off for no good reason. So maybe he's going to save Eli." But no. He was too late. And I was thinking damb! DAMB! Damb you big, fat, slag-sucking, pieces of ****! Just wait till Episode 3! I...I'll pour salt on you and piss on you dried up corpse. Very rarely have I been so moved by a game. It was almost like Code of Hero again.

What's left to say? There's Portal. Innovative. Funny. But just kind of felt like a long tutorial. And I kept expecting to unlock the Portal gun in HL2 with them all talking about portals. Maybe in Episdoe 3?

Team Fortess. A welcome addition. Kind of feels like Timesplitters with a little bit of World of Warcraft thrown in. Could use an offline/split-screen or tutorial mode that would let you test out all the classes before jumping into a match. More fun than Halo, but feels almost as tedious.

If you do not have the Orange Box, go buy it right now. It's game of the year in my book.

It is indeed an amazing set of games. TF2 is the weak point though, i dunno but i just havnt really connected with it. Not to mention its constant lag and connection issues.

I just have to wonder how they managed to fit all those games on one disc! Just goes to prove how overrated and unnecessary blue-ray is.

I cant wait for episode 3! I just hope they dont take forever to release it. Half Life 2's story has to be one of the best and most amazing stories ever created for a game. Just imagine how awesome Half Life 3 will be?!

Wow we agree on something for once!


Im sure they'll wrap up the combine story with EP 3 as well, i think its a safe bet to assume that it will probably take place in the arctic and aboard that ship. Head crap sailors FTW!

Whatever story they make for HL3 though i hope it is just as epic and creepy and confusing as the rest of them. Heres hoping they dont start slacking in the story department in favor of a new graphics engine (lets face it the source engine is starting to show its age).

OOPS! LMAO!!!

Funny typos FTW!