The Energon Pub

Coming soon from KFC, EVIL IRONPAW.

EVIL IRONPAW PROFILE

Dark Ironpaw (as he likes to be known) is a slob, very few of his team-mates can stand to be around him, and Rhinohorn flat out refuses to even attempt to communicate with him, as he cannot express himself monosylab…monosyllabylica…in words what Ironpaw can understand.
He is the only member of the Evil RoBots whose function reads: Unemployed.
Ironpaw once recorded over vital intercepted enemy communication data, so that his cassette mode could carry an eighth generation pirate copy of “No life ‘till Leather”.
The only reason his bodywork isn’t black is because he had no black paint left after painting his room.
His official tech-spec read-out for Skill had a question mark for an answer.
Was almost a lucky draw figure, but the bright white box hurt his eyes.
He has such little respect for himself, he considered reformatting into an 8-track tape.

EVIL RHINOHORN PROFILE

Abrasive, obtuse, belligerent; these are all words that Evil Rhinohorn would use to describe lesser beings. He prides himself on his ability to speak as eloquently as possible, he actually does this in an attempt to be as precise as possible, but ironically, it makes his oratorical sonorities too pleonastic to be expeditiously assimilated.
His expanded vocabulary has led to his team-mates mocking him, and referring to him as dictionary bot, he simply smiles, keeps walking and replies “thesaurus bot would be more accurate”. Little do his team-mates know how veracious that statement is, as he often punctiliously studies synonyms in his spare time.
His rhino mode has meant that his function in war can be a little one-dimensional, and he worries extensively over the repeat impacts he puts his CPU through, as he routinely charges head first through enemies or barricades. More recently, he has noticed himself slipping up, and mixing up his big words, and he has vowed to not let these repeated obtrusions dull his perspiration.