The Energon Pub

I was on the phone talking with another parent I know. Our boys are very close in age ( almost 16) It was a sad topic, another boy that my son was friends with was killed in a boating accident on Monday. Jack is pretty shook up so I was talking to my friend about how to help my son through this. We were talking about ways of helping Jack through the grieving process when she said - that is why I never allow my son to leave the house without me He gets so mad that I will not even let him go hiking in the woods alone but what if there is a sinkhole or a hunter. She said she was not willing to take that chance. He is not even allowed to go over to a friends house since a friend may do things he is not allowed to do. This kid is almost 16 and not allowed to leave the house without his mom! She said he gets so mad at her but she just tells him that he will thank me one day for keeping him safe.

Overprotective much? I mean, what's next, he can't go to the Zoo because a Lion might jump up and eat him?

Cut the umbilical cord already, jeez!

That's either going to produce a serial killer or a complete lack of social skills. Sadness.

Uh huh!!! That is what I thought. There was a parent of a 7 year old saying she knew where this other mom was coming from because she did not let her child go to friends houses either. I told her yeah but you have a 7 year old there is a huge difference between 7 and almost 16. To make it worse she is using the death of this other 16 year old as justification for keeping her son tied to her. All I could tell her is accidents happen and sometimes nothing you do can prevent it. Every day since monday I have seen the parents of the dead boy driving past my house as divers continue to look for the body. Most kids that age just say by mom/dad see you around curfew. It is so sad that a young life was cut short but I still do not see that as any reason to ruin a kids teenage years.

You forgot the other possibility he will be living at home untill he is sixty and be mommy best friend.

Missourisnowflakes wrote: We were talking about ways of helping Jack through the grieving process when she said - that is why I never allow my son to leave the house without me He gets so mad that I will not even let him go hiking in the woods alone but what if there is a sinkhole or a hunter. She said she was not willing to take that chance. He is not even allowed to go over to a friends house since a friend may do things he is not allowed to do. This kid is almost 16 and not allowed to leave the house without his mom! She said he gets so mad at her but she just tells him that he will thank me one day for keeping him safe.

Good gods!! Why doesn't she just lock her son in the basement closet and get it over with! I know people that were sheltered like that when they were younger, and now that they are in their 30's, they are basically socially stunted! I am not a parent myself, but that kind of overprotectiveness is just as dangerous as not caring what your kids do!

Pyrostrata wrote:

Missourisnowflakes wrote: We were talking about ways of helping Jack through the grieving process when she said - that is why I never allow my son to leave the house without me He gets so mad that I will not even let him go hiking in the woods alone but what if there is a sinkhole or a hunter. She said she was not willing to take that chance. He is not even allowed to go over to a friends house since a friend may do things he is not allowed to do. This kid is almost 16 and not allowed to leave the house without his mom! She said he gets so mad at her but she just tells him that he will thank me one day for keeping him safe.

Good gods!! Why doesn't she just lock her son in the basement closet and get it over with! I know people that were sheltered like that when they were younger, and now that they are in their 30's, they are basically socially stunted! I am not a parent myself, but that kind of overprotectiveness is just as dangerous as not caring what your kids do!

My mom has friends that were the same way with their kids. Most have little to do with their parents because they are so angry with them. Her son already tells people how much he hates it at home. She is in for a world of heartache when he is old enough to leave.

shortround wrote:You forgot the other possibility he will be living at home untill he is sixty and be mommy best friend.

He becomes Ted from Scrubs.

Keeping the child beside the parent 24/7 isnt exactly the brightest idea.

Accidents can still occur....

Who's to say that some drunk driver wont drive into both the parent and the child on the road?

what a horrible existence that must be.

Stifled, controlled, diminished as a person.

With a little hope, he might still be able to have a life and reclaim what's been lost.

She might've started with the best intentions, but now it's all for selfish means.

Shame on her.

that really is, frankly, quite sad. your friend really needs to pick up an under-grad social psychology textbook, and read about stuff like reactance and the effect overbearing limitations have on people's attitudes.

the bottom line: if you truly want your son to learn how to differentiate between good and bad, safe and dangerous, officiating him like a military policeman is not the way to go.