The Energon Pub

I have to break up with my BF of almost two years. My reasons are he is becoming like his step dad in ways that are not plesant he is becoming psycholically abusive and everything is my fault but yet he never takes responability for his own actions.
I haven't told him it's over but I just don't know how and not make it go bad such as stalking and he starts breaking the law or hurt me. I know akido somewhat but IDK...been crying all morning and depressed. There isn't an Emoticon to show how I feel.

sky...yes I have my internet back

you just have to do it. are the two of you living together? Being with someone like that can't be good for your mental well being. I know its easier said then done but its time to move on. Break up with the guy and start your new happy life. This guy will never change, and unless you want to be mentally abused the rest of your life... then you gotta go.

I wish you well!

I agree with chris. This is not going to get better, I've seen it personally among friends and in my own family, repeatedly. So do it now, even though it's hard to do. I won't give you the "other fish in the sea" speech, but you gotta know that you can do better than an emotionally abusive boyfriend. Don't make the mistake so many other do: stay and hope it will get better. It will NOT. The longer you wait, the worse the treatment gets and the worse it will be on you. So, again, do it now, and don't be afraid of the consequences. Even if you have trouble afterwards, call the police immediately, so they know what's going on. I don't want to scare you, but as I said, unfortunately I've been around this type of thing repatedly, and it leads to a lifetime of emotional and physical suffering always. If you let it. Right now, the choice is yours. Do not surrender it by staying in this destructive relationship.

I would end it right away. But do it with other people near by or over the phone or txt. Block him from facebook, myspace, msn messenger, etc etc. And if u decide to date someone else soon keep it a low profile for your safety and his. Inform parents friends etc that his phone calls to ur house will not be accepted. And if he does call u 100 times change ur cell and house phone and privatize your number. If he gets extreme tell him to knock it off or you will get the cops involved etc. Make sure u do actually call the cops if it does get too intense. Keep copys of emails, txts, voice mails, facebook wall posts etc in case a restraining order is required. I recomend cutting ties with his buddies cause he can keep tabs on you through facebook txts etc through them. Take every threat serious he may say i wanna kill or im going kick your ass or something and mean it call the cops. A Popo knocking on his door telling him to back the **** up or else may be all it takes to keep him away. Also you should respect his feelings and break up with him in a non bitch/douchey way so that he doesnt do something crazy. Dont make the break up embarassing, dont proclaim it on msn status or facebook wall, people who have issues like his will may to something awful with with hurt feelings. Do not acknowledge him in public or school and if he presists politely say that you do not wish to speak to him at this time. Never threaten with cops or your older bro etc in public, dont think he wont cuff you one in the supermaket parking lot. Make sure that everyone close to you understands the situation and is fully in support of you, wouldnt it suck if u didnt tell your mom or dad or roomate the details and they let him in the house or whatever 2 hours after you had a showdown with him in a public face or on the phone etc. Make sure you do not wear any clothes or jewlery etc that he got you outside the home. He may see you and think theres still a chance cause your still wearing the ring he got you. With possessions he gave you put them in a box outside of ur room like the basement. If word gets back to him 2 days after you break up that you garbaged his stuff he might be enraged not to your benefit. Clearly define break up to him. Dont say i want a break or i need time to myself or communicate the next day etc. Tell him its 100% over but in a nice way. Change any and all codes/passwords/pins/locker combinations that he may know dont think he wont delete your facebook or msn contact list or empty your savings.

Good luck